


Our Star Life

by lfg1986



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Be Careful What You Wish For, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Gay Sex, M/M, Parallel Lives, Rimming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2019-11-14 04:25:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 112,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18045446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lfg1986/pseuds/lfg1986
Summary: Prompt by rainbowdazzle on Tumblr:Charmie parallel universe AU:Timmy goes to Austin to present Armie an award. Though it leaves him drained, because he knows deep down that he’s fallen deeply in love with the older (and married) man.  After an emotional night, one fraught with tension (should he tell Armie how he feels? How would he respond? Can he ever feel the same way?) he decides not to tell him, it’s for the best this way. Armie has a wife and kids and a career and Timmy is just a kid and….hey maybe in some parallel universe they are together at least. The next morning Timmy realizes things are..off. He’s still in Austin. Still in his hotel room, but the tissues piled by the bed as he cried himself to sleep are gone, and the side of the bed next to him is still warm and is that the shower running? When Armie emerges from the bathroom, dripping wet and calling him honey, he knows something is very very different. An AU where Timmy wakes up in his OWN AU, where he finds he’s slipped into some sort of parallel dimension where he is with Armie, but at what cost? What are the differences between this reality and his real one for better or worse and are they worth it to have Armie? How will he navigate this?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh, hi there! I honestly did not expect to be back posting already after just finishing my other monster fic like literally just DAYS ago and also I'm in the middle of moving and life is rather crazy at the moment. Plus, I have like 5 other fic ideas that I'm hoping to start sometime in the near future. But I was scrolling through Tumblr like a week ago and I saw this prompt and I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. It's literally perfect and everything I want/need in my life right now. And then I decided that I simply had to be the one to write it, so here I am, lol.
> 
> And since today is the anniversary of Austin and that amazing, emotional speech from Timmy, I made this my first priority to at least get this first chapter out right away. I have chapters 2 & 3 plotted, but not written, and as I said, my life is kinda crazy right now, so I can't guarantee updates as frequently as I did for my other story, but I will try my best to not go more than a week between chapters if possible.
> 
> Also, I'm SO EXCITED to write this, so thank you rainbowdazzle for this amazing prompt! :D <3
> 
>  
> 
> * Title comes from a quote from Andre Aciman's Enigma Variations :  
> “Our star life, yours with mine. As someone said over dinner once, each of us is given at least nine versions of our lives, some we guzzle, others we take tiny, timid sips from, and some our lips never touch.”

He's been rambling for a few minutes already, not even really hearing the words coming out of his mouth.  Something about being in the same room as his favorite directors and Austin and oh yeah, Armie.  The reason he’s up here in the first place.

 

His palms are sweating and he keeps staring blankly at the paper his original speech was written on, completely useless to him now because as soon as he got up to the podium and opened it, it suddenly felt all wrong and just _not enough_.  So he’d decided to just wing it, which maybe wasn’t the best idea because now he’s totally lost sight of his original objective, the overwhelming emotions of the moment too much for him to deal with in a room full of industry people, not to mention Armie’s family. 

 

Trying to explain all the reasons why Armie deserved not only this award, but _every_ award, was something he could spend a lifetime doing and still never feel like it was even close to what he truly felt inside.

 

So he rambles, laughing awkwardly in order not to start crying or worse, professing to the entire world how he’s completely, utterly, head-over-heels in love with his co-star.  He uses his go-to anecdote of the scene in the Bergamo hotel to illustrate how talented Armie is, praising him ability to show eight thousand emotions in one look.  When he says the words, “The man that this man is…” his voice starts to quiver and break, and he knows he won’t be able to hold back the wave of emotion threatening to crash over him for much longer.

 

He knows he has to thank Elizabeth, who’s sitting beside Armie with her hand on his knee and a wide smile on her face.  He starts to tell a funny story about how they would all hang out in Armie’s apartment during filming, but quickly realizes that could get him into trouble and cuts himself off with an awkward giggle.

 

He tries to circle back to his long-forgotten speech in front of him, tripping over his words as he desperately attempts to wrap up and introduce the clip reel.  Once the lights dim, he quickly moves off to the side of the stage, hiding in the shadows as he attempts to get his heart to stop trying to beat out of his chest.  He doesn’t dare look over to where Armie’s sitting, knowing that if he saw his face in that moment, he’d lose it completely and would probably fall off the stage or something.

 

The rest of the time he’s up there feels like a blur.  The presenter comes out and says a few things, then Armie finally gets called on stage.  He hugs Timmy tightly and Timmy can feel himself shaking, hopes that Armie doesn’t notice as he continues across the stage to receive his award.  Armie jokingly ends up handing it to him to hold, and he’s actually grateful for something to do with his hands to keep them from shaking while Armie speaks.

 

They walk off the stage and are immediately asked to pose for pictures.  He plasters on his best fake smile and tries to keep from throwing up as the realization dawns on him that this is it, this is the last time he and Armie will be together for anything having to do with this movie.  It’s the first time since they’d met that he honestly doesn’t know when they’ll see each other next. 

 

The thought scares him, doubt creeping over him like a slow fog, wondering if their friendship will finally fade into the shadows like almost every other work relationship inevitably does once the job is over.  They’d spent almost two years telling the world that they were like brothers, but as they take new projects and their lives finally move on beyond Call Me By Your Name, they likely won’t have the same kind of time for each other.  Which is why tonight is so important.

 

There’s a reception after the ceremony, and he somehow manages to last 20 minutes before excusing himself to the restroom to hide.  His whole body is buzzing and he’s not sure he’s ever been this nervous.  He’d been thinking about this since the moment Armie called him to ask if he’d present the award to him.

 

He can’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with his much older, unfortunately very _married_ co-star and best friend, but he knows it’s been steadily growing for a while now and it’s getting harder and harder to hide his feelings whenever they’re together.  Which has been almost constantly over the last year and a half as they’ve flown all over the world promoting the movie. 

 

When he hadn’t won the Oscar, Armie had gone above and beyond what he considered acts of pure friendship in order to comfort and soothe him, and it made him think maybe, just _maybe_ , there was a chance Armie returned his feelings.  Then when a couple days later Armie had called him to come to Austin, he’d convinced himself it would be a great idea to finally tell Armie how he felt and let the chips fall where they may. 

 

He realized he probably didn’t have a shot; Armie was happily married and had a beautiful family, a thriving career, and was _straight_.  But he’d never felt this way about anyone, and he knew he’d regret it if he never even took a chance.  He’d decided that he’d talk to him tonight, as soon as he could get him alone.

 

He steps out of the bathroom stall and looks himself over in the mirror.  He straightens his shirts and swipes at his hair a couple times, taking a deep breath before pushing open the door and rounding the corner to go back to the reception hall.

 

The moment he spots Armie, talking to a director friend of his, his heart stutters in his chest.  _It’s now or never, Chalamet.  Speak or die._

 

Just as he takes the first step in the direction to where Armie is standing, he sees Elizabeth sidle up to him and snake her arm around his waist.  Armie turns to her with a brilliant smile and leans down to kiss her on the mouth, using the arm he has around her back and shoulder to pull her in closer.

 

Suddenly all the air in his lungs whooshes out of him and he can’t seem to suck any more in.  His heart squeezes painfully in his chest as he understands the truth of this moment: Armie will never be his.  He already has everything he could ever want, why on earth would he risk his perfectly crafted life for a silly kid with a crush?

 

After what feels like an eternity, he finally manages to gasp in a couple of shaky breaths before he passes out.  His eyes are watery and his legs feel like rubber.  He can’t do this.  He can’t risk messing up what they have now for something he now realizes will never happen anyway, no matter how badly he wants it.  He’s managed to keep his feelings inside this long, and now that they won’t be together all the time, it will be easier.  It has to, because the tightness he feels in his chest at the moment is almost more than he can stand.

 

He darts his eyes around the room, trying to assess the situation.  All he can think about is how to get as far away from there as possible, not prepared to do any more schmoozing when he’s on the edge of an emotional breakdown.  That’s definitely not the kind of first impression he wants to give people he someday hopes to work with.

 

But before he can force his legs to move in the direction of the door, Armie spots him and calls out his name, striding over to him easily.  “Hey man!  Where’d you go?  We’ve been looking for you!”  His joyful tone should bring a smile to his face, but it only manages to make him feel guilty for managing to make this night about himself when it really should be about Armie.

 

“Yeah, sorry, I had a lot to drink before the ceremony and my bladder was pretty desperate for relief.”  He tries to keep his tone light, forcing a tight smile and hoping Armie doesn’t read into the fact that he can’t fully meet his eyes as he speaks.

 

Armie claps him on the back with his huge hand and lets out a loud laugh.  “You’d think with the sheer number of these you’ve attended this past year, you’d have learned by now to go easy on the liquid intake until _after_ the ceremony.”  His eyes are shining as his expression turns more pensive, the grip he has on Timmy’s shoulder tightening slightly.  “Listen man, about your speech…”

 

Timmy mentally prepares to be mocked for his earlier rambling or lightly chastised for bringing up the… _unusual_ …relationship he, Armie, and Elizabeth share.

 

Instead, all he gets sincerity and humility.  “Just, thank you, man.  Really.  It meant a lot to me to hear you say those things.  I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without you by my side this past year.  As exhausted as I am, I really am going to miss all this.”

 

Timmy’s not sure he can handle Armie being so open with him right now.  He already feels like he’s about to crumble to the floor at any second, and Armie looking at him with those piercing eyes full of affection right now is not helping anything.

 

Timmy gulps and nods dumbly, ducking his head and letting his curls fall across his face so Armie can’t see the pain in his eyes when he responds with a quiet, “Me, too.”

 

Armie pulls him into a full-on hug in that moment, and Timmy buries his face in his chest and squeezes his eyes tight, desperately trying to hold back the tears that are so close to the surface now he can taste them.

 

When Armie finally releases him, Timmy still can’t bring himself to look into his eyes.  Armie draws in a breath like he’s about to say something, but just then someone else comes up behind Armie and slaps him on the back as he congratulates Armie on the award.  Timmy only waits long enough for Armie to give him one last small smile as he turns to greet the new person before darting to the door and out into the cool night air.  He calls an Uber to take him to his hotel, not wanting to wait for his scheduled car to arrive later in the evening.

 

Once he slides into the backseat, he folds in on himself and begins to cry quietly.  Thankfully, the driver doesn’t try to talk to him, leaving him alone to run through all of his emotions in peace.  He gets back to the hotel and sinks onto the bed as he tries to not feel guilty about abandoning Armie on his special night.  He turns his phone completely off, knowing that eventually Armie will notice he left and will call to make sure he’s ok, and he’s just not sure he can handle it.

 

He decides to cope with his broken heart by drinking the tiny bottle of vodka from the minibar, followed by the whiskey, and spending the next hour crying as he listens to Frank Ocean.  Sometime later, when he’s surrounded by crumpled tissues and several more empty bottles, he passes out face down on the comforter, fresh tear streaks still on his face.

 

\---

 

When he comes to the next morning, the first thing he registers is that he’s totally naked underneath the sheets.  He’s pretty sure he hadn’t gone to sleep like that, but then he also remembers drinking half the contents of the minibar, so there’s a possibility he just blacked it out.  He looks around and notices the tissues that had been covering the bed were also suspiciously gone.  Did a maid come in and clean up while he was sleeping?  Was that even allowed?

 

He doesn’t have time to chase that thought any further before he hears the water from the shower shutting off, having not even realized it had been on before then.  It’s then that he spots the second suitcase standing by the dresser, one that definitely wasn’t his but looked an awful lot like the one he’d seen Armie use a few times during their various travels. 

 

Before he has a chance to investigate, the door to the bathroom swings open and out steps Armie, towel loosely draped around his waist, his upper body glistening with the droplets of water that still clung to his tanned skin.  All Timmy can do is gawk at him, his brain too muddled to figure out what Armie is doing in his hotel room this early in the morning, with his suitcase no less, taking a shower and coming out looking like _that_.

 

Armie smiles when he sees Timmy sitting up in the bed.  “Hey.”  He walks over to the side of the bed Timmy is on.  Timmy just watches him, still trying to piece together what’s going on, but before he has a chance to ask, Armie leans down and gives him a soft peck directly on the mouth.  “Mmm, morning, babe.”

 

Timmy freezes, eyes wide in shock as Armie pulls back and casually moves over to where his suitcase is still standing by the dresser, like it’s just always been there and this is all totally normal.  He tries to open his mouth to speak, to ask what the hell is going on, or maybe to scream, but nothing comes out.  Armie doesn’t seem to notice at all, too busy rummaging through his things to pull together an outfit for the day.

 

His eyes frantically dance around the room, desperately trying to find any kind of clue as to what might have led to this insane turn of events.  He has no memory of seeing or even talking to Armie after he fled the reception last night, and yet somehow he’s now here, in his hotel room, with all of his stuff and calling him “babe”.  He’s either dreaming or he somehow got a hold of some seriously potent weed last night and he’s still high.

 

His eyes fall to the trashcan on the floor by his side of the bed, and suddenly his blood runs cold.  There, pillowed on top of a handful of tissues, is a very obviously used condom.  His eyes snap up to Armie, who’s managed to pull on a pair of ridiculously tight jeans that hug his body in all the right places.  But he can’t even appreciate that right now because he’s too busy _freaking the fuck out_.  Did he and Armie have sex last night?  How?  _Why_?!

 

Armie turns to look at him and must see the look of pure terror in his eyes because he’s suddenly coming toward him again, concern etched all over his features.  “Tim, what’s wrong?”

 

Timmy doesn’t wait for Armie to reach the bed, can’t stand to let Armie touch him right now when he feels like his whole world is spinning out of control.  He darts across the room, not even caring that he’s still stark naked, and throws himself into the bathroom, barely having enough time to lock the door behind him before he’s emptying his stomach into the toilet just as several fat, wet tears slip past his eyes and drip down to mix with his bile in the bowl below him.

 

He can hear Armie’s worried voice calling to him from the other side of the bathroom door, the doorknob rattling incessantly as Armie tries to open it.  He’d love to be able to tell him everything is fine and not to worry, but everything is so _not fine_ that he doesn’t even know what he could tell him that wouldn’t make things worse.  So he simply ignores the banging and frantic echoes of Armie’s booming voice as he tries not to have a full-blown panic attack. 

 

He’s gripping the edge of the toilet so hard that his fingers are starting to ache and his knees are pressing uncomfortably into the hard tile floor, sending shockwaves of pain through his body as he continues to retch and heave. 

 

When he’s fairly confident that there’s nothing left in his stomach for him to throw up, he carefully pries his left hand off the seat and moves it up to the handle to flush the contents.  And that’s when he notices it.  The simple yet elegant silver ring encircling his normally empty ring finger, shining brilliantly as it catches the light from overhead.  He slowly pulls his hand back in front of his face to look at it more closely, momentarily forgetting that his sick is still sitting in the toilet and the smell is beginning to make his eyes water.

 

Or perhaps it’s not the smell at all, but the dawning realization of what this shiny metal band currently wrapped around _that_ particular finger might actually mean.  He carefully slides it off and immediately notices the distinct tan line on his finger underneath, which normally would indicate that he’s been wearing it for quite some time, except that he’s literally _never_ _seen it before_.  He looks at it like it’s a dangerous foreign object that might suddenly shock him, hesitantly inspecting it from all angles.  When he finds the small inscription on the inside, the initials “A” and “T” crossed together with the horizontal line of the “T” going through the triangle of the “A”, he gasps and drops the ring, the metal hitting the tile with a quiet clinking sound as it rolls across the floor and runs into the edge of the tub. 

 

He scrambles to retrieve it, picking it back up quickly and curling it tightly into his fist.  He slams his eyes closed and takes several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down so he can come up with some kind of logical explanation for this.  When he opens his eyes again, he realizes that Armie has stopped banging on the door and it’s now eerily quiet, the only sound he can here is his own labored breathing.  He’s once again struck by the fact that he has no clothes on, so he quickly wraps a towel around his waist and takes a deep breath.

 

When he opens the door, he finds Armie hunched over himself on the edge of the bed, legs bouncing nervously.  His head snaps up when he hears the door open, and he’s immediately up and rushing over to Timmy.  “Jesus Christ, T!  You scared the shit out of me!  What the fuck is going on?!  Are you ok?”

 

Timmy doesn’t know what to say, but as he tries to come up with something, _anything_ , to explain the total insanity of the last ten minutes in a way that won’t result in him being committed to a mental hospital, his eyes catch on Armie’s wedding band.  He instantly registers that it’s not the same ring he’s seen him wear for the past two years, but rather it now looks identical to the one that is currently clenched tightly in his own fist.

 

Armie must notice him staring, as he begins to ask him, “Timmy, what – “ but Timmy cuts him off by cupping his empty hand firmly over Armie’s mouth.

 

“Just…wait a minute.  I need to see something.”  He slowly removes his hand from Armie’s face as he meets Armie’s worried stare, but Armie doesn’t try to say anything else so he brings his hand down to grasp Armie’s and lifts it to his face.  He slowly removes the ring from Armie’s finger, noting with some alarm that the tattoo that is normally hidden beneath it is suddenly missing, and turns it so he can see the inside.  The same inscription of their initials stares back at him, and he suddenly feels like he might pass out.

 

He stumbles backward and leans against the bathroom doorframe, opening his fist to once again stare at the ring he’d been wearing earlier.  The one that somehow perfectly matches Armie’s.  He stares at them side by side in both of his hands and can only form one thought.

 

What.  The Fuck.  Is Happening?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'm completely FLOORED by the response the first chapter of this story has gotten! WOW, THANK YOU! <3
> 
> A couple people in the comments asked about if there was now another Timmy running around in our reality that is also confused and now husband-less. Full confession, it's not something I thought about before I started writing, and I don't really see a way to incorporate him into the existing vision I have for this story, but he does get a couple of small shout-outs in this chapter as *our* Timmy has to deal with the decisions he made before the whole universe switching thing occurred. But generally speaking, he will not appear and you can just trust that he'll be fine once things are put back in order later on in the story. :)
> 
> This chapter was insanely fun to write. There's a definite switch in Timmy's reaction to everything once he calms down a bit and takes stock of his situation and all the umm...perks that come with it. ;)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

“Timmy?  Timmy!  TIMMY?!”

 

As the ringing in his ears dissipates and his eyes regain their ability to focus, he’s suddenly aware of a panicked-looking Armie furiously shaking his shoulders and shouting this name.  He does the only thing he can think of in the moment and lets his weight fall forward into Armie’s chest as his hands clench tightly in the fabric of Armie’s shirt.

 

Armie’s hands instinctively wrap around his bare back and start rubbing up and down soothingly.  “Timmy, please talk to me.  You’re really starting to scare me, babe.  What’s going on?”  His voice is soft but clearly worried. 

 

Timmy feels guilty for upsetting him, but he’s honestly terrified himself and isn’t sure what to do.  But it’s clear that Armie doesn’t find it the least bit strange that they are apparently _married_ , so he decides that maybe he should wait until he has some actual answers before he tries to talk to him about the real reason he’s freaking out right now.

 

After a minute, he pulls back slowly and finally looks into Armie’s eyes, pulling in a shaky breath.  “I’m really sorry, dude.  I didn’t mean to scare you.  I’m just not feeling like myself today.  Maybe I ate something bad or…did we happen to smoke some weed last night or something?”

 

Armie eyes him intently for a minute, probably trying to decide if he’s lying or not, before his face relaxes slightly and he manages a half-smile.  “Well, _I_ didn’t, but I did lose track of you for about half an hour at the reception when I stepped out for some air, so I can’t say for sure _you_ didn’t.  But you seemed fine when we got back here.”  His smile morphs into a smirk as he adds, “More than fine, actually,” and winks.

 

Timmy immediately flushes hot when he remembers the condom that was in the trashcan by the bed.  It was just his luck that the one time he apparently had sex with Armie, he can’t even remember it.  He moves back another step and ducks his head, bringing his arm back to rub his neck uncomfortably.  It’s then he realizes he still has their rings in his hands.  “Uh, right, well, whatever it was, I’m sure I’ll be fine now that it’s out of my system.” 

 

He quickly replaces both his and Armie’s rings on their respective fingers and turns to walk toward the bed.  But Armie puts an arm out to stop him.  Armie ducks his head to meet Timmy’s downturned eyes.  “Are you sure?  You seemed really upset about something before.”  His eyes search Timmy’s, and again Timmy feels guilty for having to lie to him.  But it’s for the best right now.

 

Timmy puts on his best fake-smile and tries to act normal.  “Yeah, yeah.  I’m fine.  Really.”  He leans up on his toes to give Armie a quick kiss on the cheek, hoping that would help sell the act.

 

Armie eyes him suspiciously for a few seconds, clearly not entirely convinced, but he does finally lower his arm so Timmy can continue past him to sit on the bed.  Armie also turns toward the bed, and Timmy can feel his eyes on him as he picks at an imaginary piece of lint on the towel still wrapped around his waist.

 

He feels itchy under Armie’s constant gaze.  “Actually, do you think you could go get me some coffee, and maybe a croissant or something from the breakfast bar?  I should probably eat something.”  He makes sure to smile, not wanting Armie to continue to think there’s something wrong.

 

“Do you want me to order room service?  I can have a full English breakfast up here in like 15 minutes.”  Armie’s mother hen instincts are clearly working overtime today.

 

 

He shakes his head.  “Nah, that’s ok.  I don’t need all that.  I can go get it if you don’t want to.”

 

“No, no, no, it’s fine.  I got it.  You just…sit right there and relax and I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”  Armie gives him one last lookover to make sure he wasn’t about to throw up or freak out again before he reaches for his hotel key and makes his way to the door.

 

As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, Timmy dives for his phone, which he only knows is his because Armie had pocketed his own before he left the room.  It’s still an iPhone, but a newer, bigger model than his usual SE, which he makes a face at but doesn’t dwell on.  He’s got much bigger issues at the moment.  Luckily his passcode is the same and he opens the screen and immediately starts scrolling through his contact list to locate Liz’s number. 

 

He has no idea what he’s going to say to her when he gets her on the line.  _Oh hey, Liz!  Remember your super-hot husband?  Well apparently, I woke up in an alternate universe where he’s now **my** husband and we definitely fucked last night but I don’t remember anything and I’m freaking out.  Help?_  Yeah, he’s sure that will go over _great_.  But he can’t think of a better option, so he’ll have to make the best of it and hope she doesn’t immediately hang up on him.

 

Except he can’t because her number is nowhere to be found in his contact list.  He even checks under “C” for Chambers and “H” for Hammer just in case, but nothing.  Frustrated, he throws his phone across the bed and falls unto his side on top of the blanket.

 

_Think, Timmy.  Who else might be able to help explain this craziness?_   A light bulb goes off and he snatches his phone back and opens it up again.  He scrolls in his contacts until he finds the name he’s looking for.  _Luca_.  Thank God his number is still there.  But before his finger can push the call button, the door clicks open again and Armie walks in with a paper bag in his hand.

 

He turns off the screen frantically so Armie doesn’t see.  Armie walks over to the bed and hands the bag to Timmy with one hand and runs his other hand gently through Timmy’s messy curls to smooth them back from his forehead.  “Here you go, love.  Breakfast in bed.”

 

Timmy can’t stop the real smile that creeps onto his face at how sweet and caring Armie is.  He’s always been protective over him since they first met, so it’s comforting to know that was still the same in whatever alternate life he’s now found himself in.

 

He gratefully takes the bag and opens it but pouts a little when he inspects the contents.  The croissant is there, but no coffee.  Instead, there’s a small bottle of apple juice and a banana.  “Where’s the coffee?”

 

Armie shakes his head seriously.  “Nuh uh, no coffee.  Not when you’re already feeling nauseous.  That will only make it worse, and we’ve got a big day ahead of us.  Now eat up.”  Armie points to the banana Timmy is now holding in his hand.  Timmy continues to frown slightly as he discovers the down side to Armie’s protective side.  But he eats the banana as directed, even making a show of holding up the empty peel in an “all gone” gesture, making Armie chuckle and roll his eyes lovingly.

 

As Timmy finishes the bottle of apple juice and the croissant, he absentmindedly watches through the open bathroom door as Armie finishes grooming himself and getting ready for the day.  He thinks about what he knows for sure about the situation he’s currently in.  He’s still in Austin, that much is clear by the hotel stationary on the table beside the bed.  He checks the date on his phone, and it says March 9th, 2018, so there wasn’t any time travelling involved.  He still must have presented Armie with the award the previous evening since Armie mentioned the reception.  Liz’s phone number isn’t anywhere in his phone, and Armie’s tattoo on his finger in honor of their years together is gone.  And oh yeah, Armie is now his _husband_.

 

As far as alternate realities go, this one doesn’t seem to be too terrible from what he can tell so far.  He’s still completely freaked out by the whole idea of waking up to an _entirely different life_ and doesn’t know how it happened or how to go about fixing it, but at least he doesn’t seem to be in any imminent danger, and he’s with Armie.  And Armie’s company has always been welcome, but especially now when everything has gone batshit on him, it’s a huge relief to have the person he trusts most in the world with him to help keep him from completely losing his mind, even if he can’t tell him the whole story yet.  And Armie is still… _Armie_.  Still gorgeous and strong and kind and loving, and apparently very much in love _with him_.  The man Timmy has known for the past two years doesn’t seem to have changed at all, just, it would appear, the nature of their relationship had.

 

He takes a few deep calming breaths as he stares down at the ring on his finger.  His _wedding ring_.  He thinks about the one major difference that small piece of metal signifies.  If they truly are married then that means he has free license to kiss Armie, touch him, hold him, fu---

 

Timmy cuts off his own train of thought as he shakes his head furiously, making his unruly curls land in his eyes.  No, it would be _wrong_ to do that.  Wouldn’t it?  This isn’t real.  What _is_ real is that Armie is married to Elizabeth and has been for years and they’re very happy together.  He knows he needs to accept that and move on, stop pining for something he can never have before his heart gets any more broken than it already is.

 

But…what if?  What if this – whatever this is – ends up being his only chance for him to know what being with Armie would be like?  He doesn’t even know how long this will last.  Maybe the second he walks out the door of the hotel room, he’ll be transported back to his real life.  Or maybe when he wakes up tomorrow.  And he knows, _he knows_ , that if he goes back to his own world having passed up the opportunity to be with Armie just this once, where it wouldn’t even technically be cheating, he’d regret it for the rest of his sad, lonely life.

 

Armie finishes up in the bathroom and comes back into their main room, bending over to look through what appears to be the tourist info book that’s located on the small desk.  Timmy notices the way his back curves just so as he hunches down to read the small print, the way his huge hands are splayed wide on the desk, his head moving back and forth slightly as he reads over the pages, obviously looking for something specific within them.  Timmy finally takes the time to notice the way his jeans are so deliciously tight, they outline everything perfectly and leave very little to the imagination.  As his mouth begins to fill with saliva and he licks his suddenly very dry lips, he makes his decision.

 

As Armie’s still bent over the desk, Timmy quietly puts the empty food items back in the bag and places it on the floor, sliding off the bed and tip-toeing up behind Armie and slipping his arms around him to wrap around his stomach.  Armie doesn’t even flinch, probably totally used to this type of sneaky affection after being married to Timmy for however long, and just simply brings his own hands up off the table to cover Timmy’s.  “Mmm, hi.”  He’s still concentrating on the book in front of him, but his voice is low and affectionate.

 

“Hey there,” Timmy drawls back.  He tentatively begins mouthing at the skin on the back of Armie’s neck just below his hairline, feeling his face go hot as Armie’s slightly salty taste bursts onto his taste buds for the first time when he gives an experimental lick.

 

Armie chuckles softly and rubs his hands up and down the length of Timmy’s arms without turning around.  “You better get dressed, or we’re going to be late.”

 

He has half a mind to ask what they’d be late for, but he’s far too focused on the way Armie’s deep voice rumbles through his entire body and how the vibrations tickle his own lips where they’re still connected to Armie’s neck.  “Nah, I have a much better idea.”

 

At that, Armie finally turns around, still in the circle of Timmy’s arms, and raises an eyebrow at him.  “Oh yeah?  What’s that?”

 

Instead of answering, Timmy just grins and begins walking backward toward the bed, pulling Armie along with him.  When the backs of his knees hit the mattress, he drops down onto it and looks up at Armie with his best sultry gaze.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Nothing.”  He loosens the towel on his waist and opens it so Armie can see him in all his glory and bats his eyelashes flirtatiously, which earns him a genuine laugh.

 

“Uh huh, right.”  Armie’s grinning widely now but he still hasn’t made a move to join Timmy on the bed, so Timmy quickly reaches up and grabs Armie by the shirt and tugs hard, catching him off guard so he tumbles forward and lands with his full body weight on top of Timmy.

 

Despite their massive size difference, he doesn’t mind the feeling of being completely pinned underneath Armie.  It’s actually strangely comforting to feel Armie’s solid, warm weight pressing into him.  It happened a few times when they were filming, and each time he found himself almost disappointed when Armie would move off of him.  Which is why when Armie goes to push himself up on his arms this time, he doesn’t let him get very far, quickly wrapping his own arms around the back of Armie’s neck and leaning up to suck at the long and inviting column of his throat.

 

Armie seems to give up trying to move away and lets his weight lower back onto Timmy, careful not to actually crush him.  As Timmy continues his exploration of his throat and neck, Armie lets out an amused laugh.  “Jesus, what’s gotten into you all of the sudden?”

 

Timmy detaches himself from Armie’s neck where he’d been working on making a nice little mark and looks up into Armie’s eyes.  “What, can’t a guy just want to have sex with his ridiculously hot husband just because?”  His question comes out a bit more petulantly than he’d meant it to, years of pent up desire coming to the surface and threatening to explode out of him now that he’s finally allowed to have this.  He’s already breathing heavily and his hands begin roaming down Armie’s back, stopping just above his ass.

 

Armie smiles adoringly down at him.  “Of course.”  Timmy is instantly placated when Armie leans down to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. 

 

Aside from the couple of quick pecks they had earlier this morning, this was their first _real_ kiss, at least the first that Timmy is physically there for, and it does not disappoint.  It’s all soft lips and just a hint of tongue, Armie’s hand coming up to tenderly cup his cheek, his thumb slowly stroking his ear.

 

Timmy almost wants it to go on like this forever, just this unhurried, warm press of lips, motivated more by love and affection than heat and desire.  But then he remembers that he doesn’t _have_ forever, or at least he doesn’t think so, and as much as he loves this feeling of Armie being so gentle with him, he also selfishly wants _more_ , before he loses the chance.

 

But just as he’s about to deepen the kiss and move things along, Armie suddenly pulls back.  “But…”  Timmy inwardly groans in frustration and it takes everything in him not to actually make the sound out loud.  “ _You_ were the one who insisted on staying an extra day to actually explore Austin, remember?  You were complaining about how we never get to actually _see_ the cities we go to because we’re always so rushed and we’re working most of the time, so you demanded we extend our trip this time so we can see some of the sites.  Any of this ringing a bell?”

 

Honestly, it’s not, because it wasn’t really _him_ who made those plans, but when he thinks about it, it _does_ sound like something he would say.  But he has other priorities at the moment, and none of them include leaving this hotel room until Armie has had his way with him.  “Clearly at the time I hadn’t considered the other, much more enjoyable activities we could do right here.”  He decides to go back to sucking on parts of Armie to try to convince him, this time going for the earlobe, tugging at it ever-so-gently with his teeth.

 

Armie lets out a soft moan as his mouth opens slightly, and Timmy thinks he’s just about won his case when Armie groans in a mixture of frustration and arousal.  “Come on, Tim, don’t do this to me right now.  We have that appointment for the indoor skydiving in less than an hour.  And it was your idea!”

 

Timmy falls back onto the bed in annoyance.  It’s completely unfair that the Timmy of this world isn’t even here right now but is still somehow managing to cockblock him.  He makes one more desperate attempt to make Armie see his side of things.  He snatches one of Armie’s hands and drags it down to place over his now more than half-hard cock.  “Does this feel like I give a fuck about indoor skydiving right now?” he growls, bucking his hips up helplessly when Armie gives him a slight squeeze.

 

Armie closes his eyes and mutters a quiet, “Fuck, babe,” but when he opens them again, the determination in them is clear.  Armie leans down and puts his lips right against his ear.  A warm puff of air escapes from them and ghosts over Timmy’s skin, making him shiver.  “Ok, I’ll make you a deal.  You come out with me now, and I promise I’ll make it up to you tonight, whatever you want.  Nothing’s off the table.  What do you say?”

 

Now Timmy’s shiver is for an entirely different reason.  His face flushes red hot and his breathing picks up as his mind instantly runs through about 20 different sexual scenarios he’d love to try with Armie.  He just prays that he can stay in this universe long enough to get through one or two of them, at least.  When Armie pulls back to get his answer, all Timmy can manage to do is swallow thickly and nod.

 

Armie seems genuinely amused by how turned on he is by the idea, given his shining eyes and shit-eating grin, and normally he’d be miffed at Armie’s teasing, but right now all he wants is for Armie to keep smiling at him like _that_ , no matter what the reason. 

 

He risks a look down his body and sees his dick still standing at attention, and groans quietly.  “I’m uh…gonna need a few minutes before we go, though.”

 

Armie just laughs and kisses his forehead quickly before moving off of him completely.  “Yeah, no kidding.”  He winks as he gets off the bed, going over to Timmy’s luggage, quickly grabbing an outfit and tossing it over to him.  “Here, when you’ve calmed down a bit, put this on.  I love how it looks on you.”

 

Timmy looks down at the clothing Armie’s thrown in his lap.  He doesn’t recognize either piece, but he notices the salmon colored t-shirt is at least two sizes too big for him, and he concludes it had to have originally been Armie’s and he must have given it to him at some point. 

 

The bottoms are at least his size, but definitely not something he would ever wear in his other life.  They’re bright green running shorts with an ugly yellow stripe going up the sides.  He stares at them in disgust, almost offended that he has to put them on his body, but Armie said he likes them, so he’ll suffer through the fashion travesty to make him happy.  It’s not like anyone in his real life will ever know.

 

Ten minutes later, he’s dressed in the hideous outfit, gotten his hair at least somewhat tamed, and is ready to hit the streets of Austin.  Armie moves toward the door first, but before he steps into the hallway, he turns back and holds out his hand.  “Let’s do this.”  His smile is so warm that Timmy feels like he could melt into a pile of goo right there.

 

His answering smile practically reaches his ears.  He slides his own hand into Armie’s outstretched one and squeezes tightly.  He leans up to give Armie a quick kiss on the mouth before nodding.  “Ok, now I’m ready.”

 

Armie chuckles and tugs his hand, pulling them both into the hallway, down to the lobby and out into the cool morning air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter you will find out some more details of Armie and Timmy's lives together in this alternate universe as they return home and Timmy gets an idea of just how different things are in a world where he's married to Armie. Stay tuned! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I kinda lied. The major answers about Timmy and Armie's life won't start coming until the next chapter (though there is a small one in this chapter). I wanted to give Timmy another little bit to just enjoy being happy and blissful with this version of Armie before they return back to their lives and he gets the full crazy picture, lol.
> 
> Also, I was cackling reading through the comments on the last chapter about the reaction to those shorts. I hope you guys enjoy the fun reveal of just exactly why Timmy ends up wearing them here. ;P
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AMAZING COMMENTS/KUDOS/LOVE!! <33333

When they step outside, Timmy’s pleasantly surprised not to see blood raining down from the sky or a sea of poisonous snakes or fires burning everything around them down to the ground.  Not that he really expected to see _that_ , per se, but well, he really didn’t know _what_ to expect once they walked through the hotel doors.  Instead, all he finds is a completely normal looking street in the middle of downtown Austin.  The random passersby would have no reason to suspect that anything crazy had happened at all.

 

Since the place they’re going is only a couple blocks away, they decide to just walk.  Armie still has a hold of his hand, and he can’t help the warm feeling pooling in his stomach at how nice it is to just _hold Armie’s hand_ in public like this.  That a gesture so minor could make him feel like the luckiest guy on earth (or whatever planet this was).  He didn’t realize just how badly he craved these little touches until he was allowed to have a true taste of it.  It hits him then that going back to a world where he and Armie were just friends was going to be much harder than he originally anticipated.

 

Maybe he _didn’t_ have to go back.  Maybe he could just stay here and live this life and be happy with Armie and accept whatever consequences that brings with it.  Surely things couldn’t be _that_ much different here, right?

 

But he realizes that he still has next to no idea what their lives are actually like yet.  They’re not even in the city they live in right now.  And where _do_ they live?  L.A.?  New York?  Somewhere else?  Maybe he should hold off settling into this world until he has the full picture.  For all he knows, they could arrive home to find a fire-breathing dragon in their front yard, though he figures that might be a bit of a stretch.  There don’t seem to be any serious fantasy elements to this whole thing, but he isn’t counting it out just yet.

 

They keep walking and Timmy notices Armie trying to hold in a laugh.  At first, he figures he must have seen something funny on the street and doesn’t bother asking.  But as they get farther down the street and Armie is now seriously struggling to hold it together, Timmy finally breaks.  “Ok, _what_ is so funny?!”

 

Armie finally lets out a huge roaring laugh and bends over holding his sides.  Timmy just stares at him with wide eyes and waits for an explanation.  When Armie can finally breathe enough to speak, his answer is not at all what Timmy was expecting.  “Dude, I can’t believe you actually put those on!”  Armie gestures to the heinous shorts Armie had insisted he put on earlier.

 

Timmy looks down in confusion, his arms going out to his sides in question.  “What?!  Why not?  You told me to!  You said you liked how I looked in them!”

 

That earns him another round of cackling laughter from Armie, and by now he’s starting to get annoyed because he still doesn’t understand why it’s so funny.  “Oh God, Timmy.  Babe, I put those in your bag as a JOKE!  I thought for sure you would have thrown them right back at me and told me to go fuck myself.  I honestly never expected you to actually put them on and go out in _public_ like that!”  He’s got tears streaming down the sides of his face from laughing.

 

Realization dawns on him and he’s stuck between being impressed at Armie’s trick and being livid that he’s now stuck wearing these eyesores when he didn’t even have to.  “I…but…you…said…”  He struggles to find words to convey his thought process at the moment. 

 

After another minute of watching Armie howl with laughter at his expense, he settles on getting even.  “Oh, you fucker!”  He launches himself at Armie, but Armie is too fast and dodges him easily.  Timmy almost loses his balance, but quickly recovers and bounds after Armie, who’s already several yards down the street.

 

Just as he thinks it’s a lost cause to catch up to Armie, Armie stumbles on a crack in the sidewalk and goes down hard.  Timmy stops short and has the immediate impulse to check if he’s ok.  But once he sees that Armie is fine, if maybe a little bruised, he can’t stop himself from breaking out into hysterical laughter as he slowly walks up to stand over him.  “See?  This is what you get!  Karma, baby!” 

 

He’s so wrapped up in feeling vindicated that he doesn’t notice Armie’s leg sweep out to knock his own out from under him.  He goes down with a thud right on his bony ass.  His shocked gasp makes Armie smile smugly, which in turn leads him to tackle Armie back onto the ground.  They both laugh like lunatics at the fact that they’re rolling around in the middle of a busy sidewalk, with people walking around them and shooting them weird looks.

 

Eventually, they manage to get up and brush themselves off, still smiling like idiots.  “Ok but seriously, can I go back to the hotel and change now?”  Timmy’s all for a little bit of fun and pranks, but these shorts are _seriously_ ugly.

 

Armie lets out another laugh.  “Nope, sorry.  We’re already almost there.  You’re just going to have to suck it up.”  Armie pats him on the shoulder and smirks.

 

Timmy groans and swats at his hand.  “I hate you,” he grumbles, but they both know he doesn’t mean it.

 

Armie chuckles again and just says, “I know,” his eyes sparkling brilliantly in the Texas sun.

 

“And you know I’m going to make you pay for this later tonight, right?”

 

As Armie is about to move past him to continue making his way down the sidewalk, he stops and lowers his face to be right next to Timmy’s ear, pitching his voice dangerously low.  “Oh, I’m counting on it.”  With that, Armie smacks his ass and walks away, leaving Timmy there, unable to do anything but stare dumbly after him as Armie practically _struts_ down the street.  _Jesus. Fuck._

 

When Timmy regains the ability to move, he quickly catches up to Armie just as they reach their first stop of the day.

 

The indoor skydiving turns out to be a really cool experience, and Timmy is suddenly glad he let Armie talk him into leaving the hotel room.  They get lunch from a take-away place located in Lady Bird Lake (which Armie teases him about mercilessly) as they take a leisurely walk along the trail.  Timmy tries to think of ways to ask Armie questions about their lives that wouldn't raise any suspicions, but he can't really come up with anything, so in the end, he decides to just let it go for now and enjoy their day together.  He can start piecing things together when they return to their home, if he's even still in this world by then. 

 

They stop in a nice grassy area to sit and eat and enjoy the impressive views of the city.  When Timmy’s finished eating, he looks out across the lake and smiles.  He can feel Armie’s eyes on the side of his face.  “What?”

 

“Nothing.”  He can hear the smile in Armie’s voice without even turning to look.

 

“Uh huh, sure.  Out with it.”  He does turn to meet his eyes now, raising an eyebrow.

 

Armie laughs softly.  “I was just thinking I’m glad I was able to drag you out of the room so we didn’t miss this spectacular view.  Though it did take an awful lot of convincing for you to stop trying to devour me whole.  Not that I can really blame you.”  He wiggles his eyebrows at Timmy and smirks.

 

Timmy pulls up a few blades of grass and throws them at Armie in retaliation.  “Shut up.”  But he can’t help but grin sheepishly and giggle as he feels his face heat up.

 

Armie chortles and leans over sideways to pull Timmy to him.  “I mean, I certainly don’t mind.  It’s nice to know that after close to a year of marriage you still want me that much.”

 

_Almost a year_.  Well, at least he now has a clearer idea of the timeline of the whole marriage thing.  They lean against each other and Timmy threads their fingers together in the grass.  “I don’t think I could ever stop wanting you.”  His voice is soft and wistful.  It’s truer than he’d like to admit, but at least he feels comfortable saying it out loud to this version of Armie.

 

Armie presses a kiss into Timmy’s hair and hums in agreement.  They sit peacefully like that for a while before they eventually get up and continue walking along the length of the trail.

 

Later in the afternoon they go on a private brewery tour.  This was clearly Armie’s idea as he can barely contain his excitement.  The tour guide picks them up at their hotel, so Timmy finally has a chance to change into some decent looking grey sweatpants before they leave.  Still not his first choice for wardrobe but much better than before.  He actually likes the too-big t-shirt.  It’s worn and soft and knowing it was once Armie’s makes it special, so he leaves it on.

 

The brewery tour is a blast, but he definitely drinks way too much and is swaying dangerously by the time they get dropped back off at the hotel.  Sometimes he forgets that Armie has years of drinking experience and probably close to 60 lbs. on him, so trying to match rounds with him is _not_ a good idea.

 

When they get back to the room, Timmy plops down on the bed and gives a lopsided smile in Armie’s general direction.  “So, about that promise from earlier…”  He tries to wiggle his eyebrows, but he’s not actually sure if they’re moving or not.  It’s kinda hard to feel his face at the moment.

 

Armie turns to him and snorts.  “Timmy, do you honestly think you can even stay awake right now, let alone try to get it up?”

 

Timmy makes his best offended face.  “Hey!  Don’t underestimate my abilities as a lover.  I’ve done it plenty of times when I was way more drunk than this.”  He knows he’s slurring his words, but he tries to ignore it and act more sober than he feels.  He’s _not_ about to let a little bit of alcohol in his system mess this night up for him.

 

Armie walks over to him and puts his hands on his shoulders, holding him steady and giving him a pacifying smile.  “I’m sure you have.  But don’t you think maybe you’d enjoy it more if we waited until you can stay upright on your own?”  Armie runs a hand through his hair, smoothing a strand that had fallen into his face back behind his ear.

 

Arrrrmmiieeee, you promised!”  Great, now he’s been reduced to whining to get sex.  He prays that his Armie never finds out about this, or he’ll _never_ live it down.  He already feels mortified enough as it is doing it in front of _this_ Armie.

 

Armie considers him seriously for a moment before finally giving him a soft smile.  “You’re right, I did.  All right then, Mr. Chalamet, what’s your pleasure?”  Armie sits down beside him on the bed and wraps his arm around Timmy’s shoulder, letting Timmy’s weight fall against his side.

 

Timmy thinks for a minute.  Now that is comes down to the moment, he has no idea what he actually wants.  Other than to just be with Armie, of course.  None of the sexy scenarios his brain cooked up earlier seem right anymore.  What he really wants is about so much more than just sex with Armie.  It’s about feeling wanted and adored and cared for, and as he slowly looks up into Armie’s warm eyes, he sees all those things already reflected back at him in spades. 

 

It’s in that moment he knows what it truly feels like to be loved by Armie Hammer.

 

He gasps softly when the realization hits him, and Armie brings a palm up to cup his cheek as he searches Timmy’s eyes.  “What is it, babe?  What do you want?”

 

“I uh…I don’t….umm.”  He wishes his brain didn’t feel so muddled right now.  He’s feeling so many emotions, but trying to verbally communicate any of them is proving to be rather impossible.  He tries again.  “I just…can we um…I just want…you.”  He breathes the last word against Armie’s neck as his head rolls sideways onto Armie’s shoulder, suddenly unable to hold it up with the weight of everything he feels right now.

 

Armie’s hand on his back starts making soothing circles and Timmy hums in contentment at the touch.  “You have me.  I’m right here, Tim.”

 

It’s everything he’s ever wanted to hear, and his heart clenches in his chest at the realization that this _isn’t real_.  He wants so badly for it to be, but in his heart, he knows Armie will never be his.

 

He doesn’t know if he can do this.  Can he be with Armie, really _be_ with Armie, in this world, and then go back to his and pretend like everything is fine?  Like he doesn’t know what Armie tastes like and looks like when he comes?  He’s about to say he’s too tired after all when he hears it.  “I love you so much, baby.”

 

And that’s when his heart shatters apart and rebuilds itself all at once.  The echoing sound in his chest as it beats anew now sounds suspiciously like “Armie”.  He lifts his head up again slowly, his hooded eyes looking deep into Armie’s.  He can feel the tell-tale prick of tears gathering in the corners, so before his emotions get the better of him and he ends up a sobbing mess, he surges up and captures Armie’s mouth in a passionate kiss.

 

Armie’s clearly caught off guard but recovers quickly, the hand still cupping Timmy’s face moving around to tangle in his hair as he returns the kiss.  Timmy twists his body to lay back on the bed, dragging Armie with him so he’s hovering above him as their mouths continue to move against each other.  Armie helpfully slides them further up the bed so they can lay out more fully, and Timmy wraps one of his legs over Armie’s and pushes his hips up as he seeks some kind of friction.

 

Armie answers by rolling his own hips downward to meet Timmy’s, and Timmy moans quietly when he feels the outline of Armie’s cock rubbing against his own between them.  Armie moves his mouth down the side of Timmy’s and settles on a spot just above his collarbone, sucking lightly.  Timmy arches into the touch and slides his hands down Armie’s back to grab at his ass, smiling to himself when he feels the soft flesh underneath Armie’s pants pliant in his grasp.  He squeezes it tightly, causing Armie to moan as well.

 

“Fuck, Timmy.  Ok, hold on just a minute, I gotta grab something from the bathroom.”  Armie reluctantly pries himself away from Timmy’s neck and moves off him.  Timmy makes a whining sound at the back of his throat at the sudden lack of contact, but Armie just chuckles and looks at him lovingly.  “Just wait right there, I’ll be right back.”  He turns toward the bathroom before pausing to turn back and add, “Don’t you dare fall asleep.”  He grins and disappears into the bathroom.

 

And Timmy tries, he really does.  He fights against the exhaustion of the day, both physical and mental, and the alcohol coursing through his blood.  But it’s no use.  The toll this day has had on him is too great, and within a minute his breath has evened out and he’s snoring softly.  At some point he’s faintly aware of the feeling of a warm body slipping in behind him and wrapping him up in a tight embrace, a soft voice whispering “Goodnight, babe,” before everything goes completely black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh, so about that ending...DON'T KILL ME, GUYS! THERE'S A REASON, I PROMISE! *ducks and runs away*
> 
> ALSO!! There has been an incredibly fun new development in regards to this fic. I don't want to ruin the surprise quite yet, but I think you guys are going to be as excited as I am about it! So stay tuned more details coming soon! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! I'm back with another chapter already because I just can't. stop. writing. this!! :D :D :D
> 
> But uh...hang on to your hats, kids! It's about to gets seriously bumpy! This chapter is kinda lengthy, but it's also PACKED with info and details of AU Timmy's life before our Timmy got dropped into the middle of it. You get the "what" in this chapter, and the "how" and "why" next chapter. It's a LOT, so be prepared!
> 
> So, Saoirse in this chapter came out a bit meaner than I originally intended, but I kinda needed for her to be harsh in order to get the info out to Timmy the way I wanted. So apologies to Ms. Ronan, who I think is incredibly lovely irl. <3

The obnoxiously loud beeping emanating from the alarm clock causes Timmy to awake with a start the next morning, almost falling off the bed in his startled state.  After smacking the offending appliance hard enough to make the god-awful noise desist, he tries not to throw up as his head spins and throbs.  He lies back down carefully and tries to orient himself.  It takes him a good 30 seconds to realize that he is, in fact, alone in his room.  When that detail fully hits him, he shoots straight up again, causing his vision to blur momentarily.

 

Just as he begins to freak out that Armie is gone and he missed his chance, the door swings open and in walks Armie, carrying an assortment of breakfast pastries and beverages.  He quickly looks down at his left hand to see the ring still wrapped snugly around his finger.  Timmy’s struck by the palpable sense of relief he feels at the realization that Armie’s still there and still his husband, mixed with a slight hint of panic at still apparently being stuck in _a life that isn’t his_.

 

Once his blood pressure lowers a bit, he tries to give Armie a shaky smile.  Armie looks him over and sighs.  “How’re you feeling this morning?  Sorry about the alarm.”  Armie eyes the now silent alarm as it lays knocked over on the ground.  “I would’ve just let you sleep but we can’t miss our flight.”  He smiles apologetically.

 

Timmy shakes his head, which turns out to be not the greatest idea.  “Nah, it’s fine.  I’ll be ok.  Just need some aspirin and I’ll be good to go.”  He’s dealt with his fair share of hangovers before, and this one isn’t too terrible, all things considered.

 

Armie puts down the food he’s carrying and goes to get the aspirin from his travel case in the bathroom.  He grabs one of the bottles of water from the minibar and hands the items to Timmy.

 

He takes them gratefully and downs the pills and half the bottle of water in one go.  “Thanks.”  Armie just smiles and gives his shoulder a quick squeeze before moving over to retrieve the rest of the food.  Timmy watches him for a second before remembering what happened last night…or rather, what _didn’t_ happen.  He clears his throat quietly.  “Hey so uh, sorry I ruined our night last night.  I really didn’t mean to fall asleep like that.”  He hangs his head down so a few of his curls fall into his eyes.

 

He feels the bed dip beside him but can’t bring himself to look up.  But Armie’s thumb and forefinger lightly gripping his face and turning it up and sideways to meet his own makes it hard to avoid looking into Armie’s eyes for long.  “Babe, you don’t need to apologize.  I mean, it’s not like I’ve never had a few too many and passed out before the fun part myself.  It happens.”  Armie shrugs and gives him a sympathetic smile.  “We can make up for it another time.”  Armie bumps his shoulder playfully and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

 

Timmy wants to suggest they make it up _right the fuck now_ , still not knowing how long he’s got in this alternate life, but he’s honestly not physically up for it at the moment.  He fears if they even tried, he’d end up puking all over Armie, and that is _not_ the memory he wants to have of his first (and maybe only) time with Armie.  So he manages to give Armie a small smile and nods.

 

“Good.  Now eat up.  We have to leave for the airport in like half an hour.”

 

They eat in comfortable silence.  Timmy takes a quick hot shower, which helps him feel a bit more human, and gets dressed, making sure to gather all of his stuff and pack it in his suitcase.

 

After they make one final sweep around the room to check if they missed anything, they make their way out to the lobby.  “You ready to head home?”  Armie’s got one arm loaded up with his bags, but with the other he reaches out to take Timmy’s hand for a minute.

 

He sighs quietly.  “Yeah, I am.”  He realizes it might be the most honest answer he’s given in the last 24 hours.  He _is_ ready to go home.  He just doesn’t know exactly where that is anymore.

 

But the time they get to the airport, Timmy’s throbbing head has been reduced to a dull ache. When Armie hands him his boarding pass, he looks down at it and sees the destination is Los Angeles.  Well, at least that answers the “where do they live?” question.  He supposes it makes the most sense, since Armie’s kids are there.  Although, he realizes a bit belatedly, he doesn’t even know if Armie _has_ kids in this universe.  He hasn’t mentioned them at all, and Liz doesn’t seem to be in the picture here.  The thought that he might never have had them at all makes a huge knot form in his throat.

 

They make it through security and to their gate, and as they’re boarding the plane, he stops for a beat to look out at the view of Austin he can see from the huge windows.  So much has happened here in the last 48 hours.  He wonders if he’ll ever come back there again, either in this life or his own.  He shakes the thought away and continues to make his way onto the plane.

 

He quirks his eyebrow when he realizes they’re sitting in coach.  He doesn’t really mind – he’s never really cared where he sat as long as he makes it to his destination safely -  but he knows Armie prefers to fly first class whenever possible because trying to fold his 6’5” frame into the regular airline seats, even the ones with “extra leg room”, was often rather difficult and painful.  But he doesn’t say anything as he takes his seat on the aisle next to Armie, who’s by the window.  Thank God there’s only two to a row on this plane so they can be left alone.  He’s still a nervous flyer and his heartbeat starts to pick up rapidly as the plane pulls back from the gate. 

 

But Armie is clearly on top of things.  Once they’re both safely buckled in, he moves the armrest between them out of the way so he can shift to plaster himself fully to Timmy’s side, their bodies touching from ankles to shoulders as Armie grasps his hand tightly in his and begins counting softly.  “Breathe in, two, three, four, five.  And out, two, three, four five.”  Timmy follows his instructions, eternally grateful for the distraction from thinking about all the ways planes can malfunction and crash violently.  Armie continues on in this manner until they are soaring steadily above the earth and Timmy’s nerves have been sufficiently calmed.

 

Once Armie knows he’s ok, he shifts back in his seat slightly so they’re bodies aren’t completely connected anymore, but he keeps their hands entwined between them on Armie’s thigh.   

 

Timmy suddenly realizes that this must be a thing that Armie does all the time, a kind of routine they’ve established to keep his Timmy from freaking out whenever they fly.  The thought of Armie coming up with such a loving gesture makes his chest ache with longing. 

 

He tries to read the book he bought in the airport, but he can’t seem to focus enough to actually understand what’s happening in the story, so he quickly abandons it.  He puts in his earphones and locates this Timmy’s iTunes playlist titled “Music to Fly By” and gives it a try.  It seems they at least have the same musical tastes.  But he only makes it through three songs before he falls asleep on Armie’s shoulder, Armie’s face turning to nestle into his curls.

 

He wakes a couple hours later to Armie gently stroking his arm.  “Come on, babe, wake up.  We’re here.”

 

They make their way to baggage claim and pick up their luggage.  Thank God there aren’t a bunch of pushy paparazzi hounding them as they catch a cab back to their home. 

 

They pull up to a modest-looking house in West Hollywood.  It’s a far cry from Armie’s freaking _mansion_ is his world, but it looks plenty big for a family of 3 or 4 to live in comfortably.  The lawn is nicely manicured, and it’s obviously been freshly painted in the last couple of years.

 

He pulls his bag out of the cab and follows behind Armie, who has his key out ready to unlock the door.  When he steps inside, he’s struck by how much of himself and Armie he sees reflected in everything, from the wall colors to the furniture to the art pieces decorating the walls.  This truly is _their_ home, a stunning mixture of their individual tastes and interests spanning every room to make the perfectly blended living space.

 

And then he sees the pictures sitting neatly above the mantlepiece.  He all but forgets about his bag in the foyer as he makes his way over to look at them, his first real view into his life with Armie here.  The first one he zeroes in on is of Harper and Ford holding hands and smiling sweetly, obviously taken by a professional photographer in a studio. 

 

He lets out of huge sigh of relief to know they are still here in this life, too.  But he can’t help but wonder about Liz.  Harper and Ford wouldn’t be Harper and Ford without her DNA, so she must be around in some capacity.

 

He moves onto the next picture, which is a black-and-white candid picture of Armie with the kids taken from behind as Armie walks in front of the camera, holding Harper’s hand as she walks by his side and holding Ford to his chest in the other arm.  Ford’s tiny hat-covered head is sticking up past Armie’s shoulder, his baby face peeking out just enough to see a hint of a smile on his face.  It might be the most artistic picture he’s ever seen of the three of them.  He wonders who took it.

 

“Admiring your handiwork?”  Armie’s voice startles him as Armie comes up close behind him and wraps his arms around Timmy’s torso, nuzzling his face into his curls for a minute.  “God, I love that picture so much.”

 

Wait, _he_ took that?  Wow.  Timmy’s impressed by the apparent abundance of photographic talent his other-world counterpart has.  “It really is beautiful, huh?”  He knows he must sound a bit self-important, but it truly is a stunning image of them. 

 

Armie just hums and presses a light kiss into the side of his head.  “Come on, help me get the bags upstairs, then we can relax.”  Armie pulls away from Timmy as he goes back to grab their suitcases and take them upstairs, presumably to their bedroom.

 

Timmy grabs the smaller bag and follows him.  He notes the distinct lack of kid’s stuff around the living area as he goes.  There’s a small area in one corner with a small crate of toys and a foam playmat, but nothing like the entire floor of the house Armie and Liz have dedicated to them in his world.  It’s clear they don’t live here full time.  He wonders where they are now and when they will get to see them.  “Man, I really miss the kids.  Do we get them again soon?”  He tries to play it cool and not make a big deal out of asking something he’s sure he should already know.

 

Armie gives him a bit of a strange look, but quickly shakes his head in exasperation and sighs.  “Not for another three weeks.”

 

Three _weeks_.  Wow, ok, he was not expecting that.  “Right, of course.”  He starts climbing the stairs behind Armie, hauling the bag over his shoulder to make it a little easier.  “Well, we should take them on a trip when they come.  Some family bonding time.”

 

Armie chuckles and shakes his head again.  “What, like to Disneyland or something?”

 

While that _did_ sound like it could be fun, it would also be hot and crowded, not exactly what he had in mind.  “Nah, I was thinking something a bit more exciting.  Maybe we could take them to New York to see the city.  We could go full tourist mode.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen a lot of the major sites.”

 

He stops short when Armie turns sharply around to face him, his eyes a stern glare.  “What the fuck, Tim?  That’s not funny.  You know we can’t do that.”

 

His eyes go wide and he sputters for a minute, not sure how to react to either Armie’s abrupt change in demeanor or the knowledge of…well he still isn’t sure exactly _what_ Armie meant by that.  “Uhh, I’m sorry, man.  I just meant, umm, well I thought it would be nice to have a fun family vacation together, that’s all.”  He starts fidgeting with the strap of his bag hung on his shoulder with one hand, the other holding tightly to the bannister to keep from falling backwards down the stairs under Armie’s intense gaze.

 

Armie’s eyes soften a bit, but his jaw remains clenched tight.  “And you know how much I’d love to do that, too.  But you also know why we _can’t_ , so I’m not sure why you’re bringing this up right now.”

 

He lowers his head to stare at the beautiful red oak wood stairs under his feet.  “I’m sorry, Armie.  I didn’t…I’m sorry.”

 

When he doesn’t hear Armie reply, he hesitantly looks back up to see Armie still just staring at him.  He’s about to apologize again, throw himself at his feet if need be, when Armie gives a short nod and turns back to face forward and continue climbing the stairs.  Clearly something bad was going on, but he didn’t know what, and given Armie’s reaction just then, he’s not sure he should risk asking.

 

“Besides, even if I could take them across state lines, I only get 2 days a month with them, and I really don’t want to spend half of that time on a plane flying across the country.”  Armie makes it to the top of the stairs and looks back down to where Timmy had stopped several steps below.  His face is no longer angry, more like sad and resigned.  “I’m sorry, Timmy.  I know it isn’t fair to you and you miss your parents, but I can’t change it.  You know I would if I could, in a fucking heartbeat.  Maybe you and I can go visit them sometime soon, just the two of us.”  He gives a helpless shrug and turns to make his way down the hallway.

 

Timmy can’t move.  He’s pinned to the spot on the stairs and has to lean all his weight against the railing just to keep upright.  Did he hear Armie right?  He only gets his kids 2 days a _month_?  And he can’t take them out of the state?  What the _fuck_ was going on?!

 

When he finally forces his legs to continue carrying him up the stairs, he finds Armie in their room, sitting on the edge of the bed, _their_ bed, staring blankly out of the two huge sliding glass doors that led out to a spacious balcony.  He carefully sets his bag down next to where Armie had put their other suitcases in front of the closet and takes a seat next to him.  He takes one of Armie’s hands in between both of his and squeezes it gently.

 

“I’m really sorry, Armie.  I didn’t mean to upset you.  Please, just forget I said anything.”

 

Armie closes his eyes and leans his head on Timmy’s shoulder, sighing softly.  “No, _I’m_ sorry.  I didn’t mean to get angry at you.  None of this is your fault, it’s mine.  I just hate that you have to suffer because of my mistakes.”

 

It takes everything in him not to ask Armie to explain what that means, but he can’t bear to see Armie so sad and defeated, and he knows asking him to talk about whatever happened will only make it worse.  He’d just have to find another way to figure out what he needs to know.

 

They sit quietly for a minute before Armie raises his head again and gives Timmy a small smile.  “I think I’m gonna shower and get the plane washed off me.  I’ll meet you downstairs in a bit and we can figure out dinner for tonight, ok?”

 

Timmy searches Armie’s eyes for a beat.  He wants so badly to make the pain and sadness he sees there go away forever, but he still doesn’t know _what_ the problem is, let alone how to fix it.  He settles for nodding and giving Armie’s hand a quick kiss before letting him go.

 

Once Armie disappears into what Timmy sees is their rather large master bathroom, he decides to see if he can gather any more intel from the house itself while Armie is showering.  Their room is rather sparsely decorated, only one framed photo of the two of them from what looks to be a New Year’s Eve party, given the silly hats on their heads that read “Happy New Year”.  They’re smiling at each other with love in their eyes as they lean into each other, presumably just about to share a midnight kiss.  He assumes one of their friends must have taken the shot.

 

There’s not much else aside from the clothes in their closet to give any hints, so he makes his way back downstairs, stopping several times along the way to admire the paintings hanging on the walls of the stairway.

 

He goes back to the mantel and looks at the rest of the photos there.  There’s a group shot of them with a bunch of people.  Timmy recognizes several of Armie’s friends mixed in with the few he doesn’t know.  Then there’s a picture of them with Timmy’s whole family, taken at Timmy’s parents’ apartment in New York.  He’d recognize those walls anywhere, and he instantly feels homesick for his mother’s cooking and his father’s sage advice.

 

The big one in the middle is from their wedding.  It’s a shot of them exchanging their rings and wait, is that _Luca_ officiating the ceremony?!  He doesn’t even know why he’s surprised.  After all, Luca is the mastermind behind their meeting and falling in love, at least he is in Timmy’s actual life, so _of course_ he would insist on officiating their wedding.  It’s actually the only thing he’s learned so far that makes complete and total sense to him.

 

He suddenly remembers that he had wanted to call Luca yesterday but hadn’t had the chance.  He tosses a quick glance up the stairs and thinks he probably has enough time to at least get a _few_ answers before Armie came back down.  He quickly does the math in his head to determine what time it would be in Milan.  He figures out it would be almost midnight there, but he knows Luca’s a night owl, so he decides it’s worth the risk.  He quickly locates Luca’s number in his phone and immediately presses “call”.  It rings several times before going to voicemail, and he utters a quiet “damn it!” before the tone comes on to leave a message.  “Luca!  It’s Timmy.  Please man, I need you to call me back as soon as you can.  I just…I really need some help here.  I thought things were ok here but they clearly _aren’t_ and I don’t know what to do.  Just, call me back, _please_.”

 

He hangs up and collapses onto the giant leather couch behind him.  He tries to formulate another plan, but just then Armie is suddenly rushing down the stairs, already dressed in a nice button up shirt and slacks, wet hair slicked back, out of breath and looking rather annoyed.  “I’m so sorry, babe, but the restaurant called and asked if I could fill in tonight.  Adam called in sick, _again_ , and they’re pretty desperate.”

 

Before Timmy can even think to ask what the hell he was talking about, Armie is giving him a peck on the cheek as he passes by the couch, working to get a necktie fastened around his neck as he rushes toward the front door.  “I’ll be back as soon as I can.  I don’t think we have any real food left, so you should order takeout for dinner.  And save some for me!”  And with that, he was out the door, Timmy staring dumbly after him with no idea what just happened.  _Restaurant_?  What the hell?  The more he learns about what his life is like here, the less it makes sense.

 

He glances back up to the pictures on the mantel, then looks back down at his phone, and a brilliant idea hits him.  He actually feels like an idiot for not thinking of it before.  He opens his phone and goes to his photo roll.  He’d probably figure out a lot more from photos on his own phone than from anywhere else.

 

At first, he goes to “All”, but when he sees that there are over 5,000 pictures, he decides against that.  Man, the other version of himself _really_ liked taking pictures!  He goes to the “Favorites” folder and there’s only a couple hundred in there, so he tries that instead.  It’s mostly just a bunch of pics of him and Armie in various selfie positions, along with a few with other friends and a handful with his mom and sister.  There’s an adorable one of Harper trying to braid Armie’s hair with Nick in the background pointing and laughing his ass off. 

 

But his absolute favorite has to be the one of him and Armie slow dancing together.  He can’t tell where they are, but it looks like maybe a wedding or special event of some kind.  All he knows for sure is that Armie’s holding him close and looking so in love that his chest physically aches to see that version of them in such a beautifully intimate moment.

 

When he makes it through that folder, he moves on to the one marked “Filming”.  He’s sure to get some good information from there.  The first ones he sees are from “Call Me By Your Name” and he gasps as he scrolls through them.  He’s shocked to see that he actually recognizes a few of them, like the one of him and Armie posing together next to their bikes from the first day they met, and the one with everyone in the cast gathered around Luca’s huge dining room table after they’d finished the first table read.  There are another couple of him and Armie that he recognizes, but most of the rest of them are completely new to him.  He doesn’t know what to make of that.  It’s the strangest feeling to see pictures from this time in his life that he remembers so well, but to have it be just barely different, like someone moved the camera angle just a fraction of an inch, but that single, tiny change makes you see everything in a totally new light.

 

He finds a bunch of pictures from when he worked on “Lady Bird”, as well.  Again, everything was just slightly different, but he still smiled as he recalled the fun time he had working on that set.  He comes across a picture of him lying in Saoirse’s lap, Saoirse’s hands shoved deep into his hair as she massages him.  Of course, Saoirse!  He can’t believe he hadn’t thought of calling her before!

 

He closes out the pictures and looks to see if he can find her number in his contacts.  It’s there, and he gives a sigh of relief and smiles to himself.  He quickly pushes the call button, hoping to finally be able to talk to someone else about this crazy thing happening to him.

 

It rings three times before the call connects.  “Hello?”

 

“Sersh?  Oh, thank God!  It’s so good to hear your voice!”  He’s so relieved he could cry.

 

“Timothée?  What’s going on?”

 

He can tell immediately something’s not right.  She _never_ calls him “Timothée”.  But at least she picked up and he needs _someone_ right now, so he forges ahead.  “Fuck, Sersh, everything is crazy and I don’t know what to do!  I woke up yesterday and I was fucking _married_ and it’s all I ever wanted, but now I’m finding out all these weird and awful things about my life and I don’t even know what happened!”  It feels so amazing to be getting this all out in the open that he doesn’t even notice the incredibly long silence on the other end after he finishes.

 

“So why are you calling _me_?”  Her tone is flat, detached, almost cold.

 

“Wha- what?  What do you mean?  Why wouldn’t I call you?  You’re one of my best friends!”  He’s starting to get worried now.  Saoirse was one of the warmest people he’d ever met.  If she was being like this, something really terrible must have happened between them.

 

Saoirse huffs a humorless laugh.  “Oh really?  One of your best friends, huh?  Is that why I haven’t heard from you once in the past year?!”  Her tone goes from cold to _heated_ in the span of one breath and Timmy’s eyes go wide with shock.

 

“What?!  Why would I – “  He trails off as he racks his brain for _any_ reason he might cut off contact with her for a _year_.  He can’t come up with a single thing.

 

“Gee, I don’t know, Tim.  I guess you didn’t like it too much when I warned you against marrying Armie.”  She huffs again.  “And apparently I was right.  Now you’re calling me to what?  Ask me for help when your life is falling apart?  After a year of ignoring me because I was trying to be a good friend and be honest with you?  I told you this would happen, but you were soooo convinced that true love was worth tanking your entire career over.  So tell me, is it?  Is it worth scrambling to get auditions for parts you don’t even want just to keep yourself in the game?  You and I both know that movie should have made you a huge star.  But you hitched your wagon to Armie’s dead weight and now you’re paying for it.”

 

His head is spinning.  He doesn’t understand why Saoirse would warn him against Armie to begin with, they’d always been friendly whenever they saw each other.  And why does she think he’s dead weight?  _None_ of this made sense!  “I don’t – what are you _talking_ about?!  Why are you saying all of this?  Our movie gave me an amazing career!  I got an Oscar nomination for it, for Christ’s sake!”  Now he’s getting agitated, not sure where all the hostility is coming from and that so much of it is aimed at Armie, for whatever reason.

 

Her laugh on the other end is ugly and taunting.  “Oh Timmy, are you drunk right now?  Is that what this is, you’re drunk-dialing me?  Because you _know_ you didn’t get anything out of that role besides a huge career-ruining scandal and an adulterous husband.”

 

Timmy’s in tears now, listening to someone he considered one of his closest friends say such horrible things about both him and Armie.  And trying to understand what she’s telling him about the state of his career while still reeling from everything else is not an easy task.  All he can manage to say is a weak, “I don’t understand.”  Because he _doesn’t_.

 

Saoirse snorts derisively.  “Of course you don’t.  You never have been able to see the truth of things.  Too blinded by your infatuation to see the consequences your actions would have.”  When Timmy doesn’t respond, doesn’t know _how_ to respond, she continues.  “Listen, this has been a _blast_ and all, but I gotta go.  Call me in another year when you’re finally ready to take my advice and cut Armie loose.  Or better yet, don’t.”  And with that, the line goes dead.  Timmy stares down at his phone in disbelief, tears blurring his vision as he tries to take in everything Saoirse just told him.

 

After sitting there in stunned silence for several minutes, he goes looking to find a computer.  He finds one in what appears to be their study, and he quickly boots it up.  It must be his computer because the password he uses for most things works on the first try.  He immediately goes to IMDB and looks up “Call Me By Your Name”.  He scrolls down to the awards section and inhales sharply.

 

There’s almost nothing listed there.  One nomination for the screenplay, which didn’t win.  Nothing for the music, direction, or cinematography.  And Timmy himself got a handful of smaller awards for his acting, but none of his bigger nominations were listed.  No SAG, no Golden Globe…and no Oscar.  And among his few wins listed was the Texas Film Awards…from _two nights ago_.  What the _fuck_?

 

He runs upstairs to find Armie’s suitcase and starts furiously digging through it.  He gives a triumphant “aha!” when he wraps his hand around the award he’d presented to Armie the other night.  But his excitement is short-lived when he actually reads the inscription.  “Timothée Chalamet, One To Acclaim 2018 Texas Film Awards”. 

 

He’s so shaken he drops the award on the carpet, but luckily it doesn’t break.  He stares at it a minute, just lying on the ground, not sure what the hell to make of any of this.  Why was _his_ name on Armie’s award?  He carefully bends to pick it up and brings it over to the bed with him where he plops himself down in exhaustion.

 

He feels so overwhelmed by everything.  He now had a bunch of facts about the Timmy of this world’s life, but still no real answers as to _why_ this was happening to _him_.  What was the point of all of this?  How did he end up here, and what can he do to put it back the way it was?

 

He stares at the award in his hands and his thoughts start swirling in his head faster than he can make sense of them.  Everything from the past two days looms over him and he starts feeling crushed by the weight of it all.  He’s about 5 seconds away from going into a full-on panic attack when his phone starts to ring on the bed beside him.

 

When he looks over and sees the name on the screen, his only thought is _thank fucking god_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think now that you know a bit more about this AU world? You'll find out how Liz fits into everything next chapter. She's NOT a nice person in this story, just so you know.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! This is another looooooooong chapter, but hopefully it will provide you with the rest of the answers about this AU world and why the things we learned last chapter happened the way they did.
> 
> It's also very dialogue-heavy in the first half, but Luca had a lot to say, and you don't cut off the master when he's being helpful, lol!
> 
> Also, I'm not married or have kids, so I have absolutely no idea about how divorce/custody proceedings work. So I'm hoping the scenario I outlined here doesn't read as TOO unrealistic. I apologize in advance if it does, but it's fiction, so I'm manipulating the circumstances to fit the narrative I need for this story to work. That being said, violence is never the answer, kids. ;)
> 
> I also apologize for the ridiculous overuse of the like 3 Italian endearments that I'm familiar with. XD
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this huge info dump of a chapter! I'm LIVING for the comments on this story so far! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave your lovely thoughts! It makes my heart incredibly happy! <333

“Luca!”  He picks up, out of breath, still trying not to lose control and go into panic mode.

 

“Timmy!  So good to hear your voice!  What’s going on?  Your message sounded sort of urgent.”  Luca’s soft lilting voice coming from the other end was like a breath of fresh air.

 

“Oh God, Luca, it’s all wrong!  Everything is _wrong_ here!  I thought it was what I wanted but it’s not and I don’t understand what happened!  Why is this happening to me?!”  His voice is shrill and frantic and comes out all in one breath.

 

“Woah, slow down, _tesoro_!  I don’t understand anything you’re saying.  Take a deep breath for me.”  Timmy does, audibly so Luca can hear him.  “Good!  Now, let’s start again, slower, from the beginning, yes?”

 

Timmy nods, then belatedly realizes Luca can’t see him.  He takes another shuddering breath before trying once more to explain his current situation.  He starts with the awards in Austin in his world, then how he woke up in this world somehow married to Armie.  He recounts their day in Austin together, then explains all that he’s found out since they got back to L.A. earlier.  He tries to keep his voice as steady as possible, but by the end, he can detect the note of fear and panic in it again.

 

He finishes, then waits for Luca to say something.  When the other line remains silent for several seconds, he worries maybe he hung up on him.  “Luca, you there?”  He’s clearly upset now, no longer trying to hide how emotional he is about this entire thing.

 

“Yes, I’m here, darling.  Just trying to process everything you said.”  Luca sighs deeply.  “So, you’re saying you’re not really married to Armie but somehow you got transported to a life where you are?  Is that right?”

 

“ _Yeeeessss!_ ”  Timmy almost whines with relief that finally someone understands him.  “So you believe me?”

 

“Of course I do.  No matter what world you’re from, you’re still my Timmy, and I will always believe you.”  Luca’s matter-of-fact response makes Timmy want to weep with love for this man.  He knew Luca was the right person to call.

 

“ _Thank you_ ,” he all but sobs into the phone.  “So what do I _do_?!  How do I fix this and get back to my own life?!”

 

Luca lets out a confused huff.  “How should I know?  I’m a genius, not a magician.”  When Timmy lets out a strangled cry in response to that, Luca continues.  “Now, now, _amore_ , it will all be ok.  I don’t know how to get you back to your other life, but maybe I can help in some other way.  What else can I do?  I hate to hear you so upset.”

 

Timmy sniffles lightly and thinks for a minute.  “Well, I still don’t know _how_ any of this happened.  Maybe you can fill in some of the blanks for me.”

 

“Of course.  Anything you want to know.”  Luca has always been endlessly patient with him, and right now he couldn’t be more grateful to have him in his life, _both_ lives.

 

“Ok, well what exactly happened with our movie?  Why didn’t it do well?  I know that’s not at all the reason we made it, but in my world, it ended up getting a lot of critical acclaim and we got multiple awards for it.  Why didn’t that happen here?  It’s the same movie, right?”

 

Luca makes a sad humming sound on the other end of the line.  “Timmy, exactly how much did you learn about how you and Armie got together?”

 

Timmy knits his brow in confusion.  What the hell did that have to do with their movie doing poorly?  “Ummm, I actually don’t know anything about that either.  Why?  What happened?”

 

Luca lets out a long breath.  “Well, I don’t know all the details, just what you two have told me over time, but you began a relationship sometime during the filming of our movie, while Armie was still married.  It was apparently very passionate for both of you, and it continued on well after we wrapped, obviously.”  Luca pauses, and Timmy waits for the other shoe to drop.  “Well, somehow Armie’s wife found out about it and, well, you can imagine she wasn’t very happy.”

 

Timmy sucked in a sharp breath.  Oh God, _Liz_.  So _that’s_ why she wasn’t in his phone and there are no pictures of her anywhere.  “Fuck, how bad was it?”  He almost doesn’t want to know, but he needs the whole story.

 

“Well, it wouldn’t have been so terrible if she hadn’t had the video…”  Luca trails off, and all of Timmy’s blood drains from his face.

 

“ _What video_?” he asks through clenched teeth.

 

“Are you sure you really want to know?”  Luca sounds hesitant, and right away Timmy can tell it’s _bad_.

 

He really _doesn’t_ want to know, but he knows he _has_ to.  “Please, just…tell me.”

 

Luca sighs heavily.  “Ok.  But it might be better if you saw it for yourself.  You can find it online.”  Well, that was not in the least bit reassuring.  Whatever this terrible video is had been posted online, too?  Just _great_.

 

“Ok, hold on a minute.”  He quickly goes back downstairs and into the study to sit back at the computer.  “All right, what am I looking for?”

 

“I think if you Google your name, it should just come up.”  Also not a good sign.

 

Timmy types his name into Google and clicks on videos, and the first result is very obviously what Luca had been referring to.  The still frame alone makes him want to vomit, but he takes a deep breath and presses “play”.

 

It’s a video of him and Armie from the set, with Armie laying on top of him on Elio’s bed.  He’d almost believe it was actual footage from filming except he recognizes he’s in his regular clothes and not Elio’s.  They’re grinding together roughly on the bed, then Armie speaks.  “What do you want, baby?  Tell me what you need.”  His voice is rough with arousal and he has one hand wound tightly in Timmy’s hair, tugging sharply. 

 

The Timmy in the video moans loudly and answers him with equal amounts of lust.  “I want you to fuck me.  Please Armie, fuck me so hard I won’t be able to ride back to my apartment later.”  Video Timmy grinds up hard into Armie just as Armie starts pulling off his own shirt.

 

“Fuck!” the Armie on the screen growls deeply.  “Jesus Christ, Timmy, you’re so fucking beautiful.  I can’t wait to be inside your tight little body.  I want to make you come screaming my name.”  Both of them quickly start undressing, clawing at each other desperately as they tear away pieces of clothing.  Thankfully, the video cuts off just before Armie is about to yank off Timmy’s underwear, but it’s incredibly clear what must have happened after that.

 

“Oh my god, no no no no no.”  Timmy groans loudly in horror as the reality of what he just watched hits him.  He can’t believe a video of them like that even exists, and that _everyone_ has seen it.  It’s one thing to have people see him act in intimate scenes for the sake of artistic expression, but this was _them_ , and it goes against everything he believes about keeping his private life to himself.  He’s incredibly grateful there was no actual nudity, but still, he understands how bad it is even without that.  “What….how…who…WHY?!”  He can’t even form a coherent thought as his brain tries to process everything.  He feels like he might be sick.

 

“We don’t know where the video came from, or who took it.  Obviously someone on the set must have done it, but no one has come forward and there’s no way to trace it.  All we do know is that somehow Elizabeth got a hold of it and released it to the press a few months after filming ended.  She went on a rather impressive public crusade to make sure you both were vilified for betraying her.  I’m so sorry, my dear.”

 

“A few months?!  Why would she wait so long?”  He checks the upload date of the video and it says September 2016.  He quickly calculates in his head where he was at that time, and he would have been right in the middle of filming “Lady Bird”.  Suddenly the thing with Saoirse makes much more sense.  She would have been with him when everything went down.  She must have seen the wreckage firsthand and wanted to try to help in her own way, which this world’s Timmy obviously didn’t appreciate.

 

“I can’t answer that, Timmy.  I honestly don’t know.”  He pauses.  “Have you talked to Armie about any of this, about your whole…situation?”

 

He leans his forehead into his palm as he props himself up on his elbow on the desk.  “No, I…I don’t know how.  We had such an amazing day yesterday and it felt so great to just _be_ with him, you know?  I didn’t want to ruin it.  But then I get back here and learn how fucked up everything actually is and I…I just don’t know what to do now.”

 

Luca gives a sympathetic sigh.  “Well, maybe you should try to talk to him.  He is your husband, after all.  He might be able to help you more than I can.”

 

He closes his eyes.  He knows Luca is right, he just doesn’t want to think about it just yet.  His head is pounding, and he feels like he should probably lie down, but he still has so many questions he needs answers to.  “Yeah, ok.  Can I just…I still have some more questions, if you don’t mind.”

 

“Of course, I’ll answer whatever I can.”

 

Timmy chews on his bottom lip for a minute before continuing with his questions.  “Ok, so Liz released the video, and then what?”

 

“Well, things got kind of ugly for you both.  Armie was completely crucified in the media for cheating on his pregnant wife, with a man, no less, and you didn’t fare much better, I’m afraid.  The news of the scandal kind of left a bad taste in people’s mouths, so when the movie was finally released, it wasn’t very well received.”

 

Timmy starts to tear up hearing how their affair seemed to have ruined everything.  He sniffles loudly into the receiver.  “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Luca.  I can’t believe after all the work we put in to make such a special film, it all got fucked up because we couldn’t –”

 

“No, no, no, you stop that right now,” Luca cuts him off with a tone that leaves no room for argument.  “Listen, _tesoro_ , I am not now, nor have I ever been, upset with you for what happened.  You two fell in love, it’s as simple as that.  I imagine even in your other life, that was also true, yes?”  Timmy certainly can’t deny his end of things, so he just stays quiet.  “Ah ha, I thought so.  You never, ever, need to apologize for that.  What we created that summer was something beautiful and truly magical, and even if I never direct another film in my life, I will treasure that time until my last breath.  It’s a shame the rest of the world couldn’t look past the nonsense and experience this incredible journey with us, but that’s their loss.  Nobody can ever take away what we shared together, and don’t you dare ever feel guilty about any of this.”

 

Timmy’s tears are flowing freely now.  Luca honestly must have been an actual saint in a past life.  He makes a silent vow to do something amazing and special for him when he gets back to his own life, _if_ he ever gets back.

 

When he finally calms down enough to speak again, he asks the question that’s been burning in his mind.  “But what the fuck happened with Armie’s kids?  People have affairs all the time.  I’ve never heard of such extreme restrictions for something like that.”

 

He can plainly hear the sadness in Luca’s voice when he answers.  “Ah, yes.  Well, I’m afraid that it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

 

His heart stutters in his chest in anticipation of whatever Luca’s about to tell him next.  “What is it?  What happened?”  His throat is tight, and he has to force the words from his throat.

 

“Are you still at your computer?”  Timmy makes a small affirmative noise.  “All right, look up ‘Armie Hammer bar’, but…just be prepared.”

 

Timmy shudders as he types the words in the search bar, afraid of what else he might possibly see now.  It’s another video, and when he presses play this time, he audibly gasps.  He sees Armie holding a man down on the floor of a crowded bar and punching him repeatedly, drunkenly slurring words he can’t make out.  The man isn’t fighting back, but Armie doesn’t seem to notice in his blinding rage.  The video only lasts about 30 seconds, but that’s more than enough for Timmy.  His stomach lurches and he wraps his arms tightly around himself to stop shaking.

 

“Luca, what the fuck was that?!  Why would he do something like that?!”  He knows Armie has a bit of a temper sometimes and can lack impulse control, especially when he’s that drunk, but he’s _never_ seen him anywhere even close to as completely crazed as he was in that video.  It was truly terrifying to watch.  He honestly can’t imagine what could have happened to warrant him behaving like that.

 

“Don’t be so hard on him, _caro_.  He was defending _you_.”  Luca’s tone is soothing, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.

 

“He - _What?!_ ”  He doesn’t know what to make of any of this.

 

“Yes, some idiot said some pretty derogatory things about you while he was out at a bar one night, and Armie reacted…well, you saw the video.  And there’s absolutely no excuse for his violent outburst, but he was trying, in his drunken state, to protect you, because he loves you.”  Timmy tries to take in Luca’s words, but he’s still focused on the horrifying image of Armie hitting that man.

 

“So this…his kids, _this_ is why he only gets them two days a month?”  It’s all starting to click into place now.  Armie apologizing earlier for Timmy having to pay for his mistakes.  It’s obvious he still feels guilty about what he did and how it affected both of their lives.

 

Luca hums sadly.  “Yes, this unfortunate incident was also leaked to the press, and Armie’s wife had an excellent attorney who used it against him to the fullest extent in court during their divorce.  Given his already very public infidelity, this incident only compounded matters for him regarding the custody of his children.  It’s all so incredibly sad.”

 

“Fuck, I can’t believe this.”  Timmy’s still trying to process everything he’s said and heard.  He can’t believe how fucked up everything got just because they wanted to be together.

 

“I know, it is a lot to take in.  Armie was pretty devastated, as you can imagine.  But with the video evidence, his lawyer couldn’t get much better than he managed.  He is able to petition the court to revisit the case in another year, however.”

 

Timmy lets out an incredulous huff.  If _that’s_ the only silver lining to all this, it’s not enough.

 

“Timmy, are you going to be ok?”  Luca’s concerned voice makes his chest tighten painfully.  He wants to say yes, to reassure Luca that he hadn’t just had all of his dreams shattered to pieces in front of him, but he honestly doesn’t know if he can even pretend at this point.  It’s so far from what he thought his life with Armie would be like, and he can’t make heads or tails of it.

 

He decides to go for honesty.  “I…I don’t know.”  He presses the heel of one hand against his eyes.

 

“Oh Timmy, I know all this is hard.  It was brutal for you - well the other you - when it happened, and it must be rather surreal for you now to be hearing about it after the fact when your own experience was much different.” 

 

He desperately wishes he could hug Luca in that moment, just bury his head in his shoulder and cry for everything this Timmy has lost.  But he knows that won’t help anything right now, so he tries to continue on.  “So why is Armie working at a restaurant?  Is he not acting at all anymore?”

 

“Unfortunately, this industry is very unforgiving.  He hasn’t been able to secure a role in anything more than a small guest spot on a tv show since everything blew up.  I promised you both roles in my next film, but that’s still a long way off, I’m afraid.  As for the restaurant, that’s actually a good thing.  It’s very upscale and he’s highlighted there as a “celebrity chef”.  A friend of his told him about it several months back and he seems to be enjoying it well enough.  It gets him out of the house a few days a week so he doesn’t go stir crazy, and he likes getting to hone his culinary skills.  It pays decently and he’s saving up to buy his own cigar shop in the next few years.”

 

Well, at least that’s better than he expected.  If Armie couldn’t do his first love of acting, at least he was doing something else he could find joy in.  And he remembers his own Armie talking about the cigar shop idea forever ago, so it seems like now that acting is off the table in this life, he’s finally putting that plan into motion.  Despite everything, it seems Armie was really trying to make a comfortable, happy life for the two of them.

 

He looks at his surroundings and thinks they couldn’t be hurting too much for money.  Their house had 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, and while obviously it wasn’t nearly as fancy as Armie’s previous homes had been, it was still much nicer than anything he’d had even after he’d gotten his own taste of fame in his world.  Maybe things weren’t as bad as he’d feared.

 

He takes a deep breath and lets it back out.  “Well, I’m really glad to hear he’s making the best of things.”  He hesitates, a bit scared to ask his next question.  “And…he’s happy?  With me, I mean?”  From their interactions so far, it seemed like he was, but then Timmy hadn’t known everything that had gone on in the past before, so he just needed some reassurance now that he had the full picture.

 

“Oh, my dear Timmy!”  Luca’s voice is overflowing with affection.  “My darling, he is so in love with you, it’s truly one of the most beautiful things I have ever had the privilege to witness.”

 

Timmy can’t help but let out a quiet sob of relief.  Knowing that even though their outside lives were turned upside down, they’d managed to stay strong and happy together through everything made his heart swell and burst wide open.  “Really?”

 

“Yes, _amore_.  He worships the very ground you walk on.  You never need to doubt that, understand?”

 

He closes his eyes tightly and nods, then again remembers Luca isn’t actually there with him.  “Yes, ok,” he finally manages to say after he’s not so overwhelmed by emotion.

 

“Listen, Timmy, I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now.  And I hope that you’re able to get back to the life you know and be very happy and successful there.  But I have to tell you, Armie fell for you hard and fast while we were working together.  It was very real and powerful for him.  You showed him the type of love he never knew he could have, and it allowed him to finally accept who he was, and to let that kind of love into his heart.  I know you said you are not together in your other life, but here, in this one, he fought like hell to keep what you two have from being broken by the people who wished to ruin your happiness.  You both did.  And I have a feeling that the Armie of your world has those same feelings for you inside him somewhere, too, even if he chose not to act on them.  So whenever you make it back home, just remember that.  Will you do that?”  Luca’s words are so heartfelt, he’s on the verge of tears again.

 

“Y – yes, I will.  I promise.”  The tears roll down his cheeks and he swipes them away hastily with the back of his hand.

 

“Good, good.  Will you be ok now, _tesoro_?”

 

He sniffles lightly and gives a small laugh.  “Yeah, yeah I think so.  Thank you so much, Luca.  For…everything.”

 

“Anything for you, my Timmy.  If you ever need me, I’m always here for you.  Call me anytime, no matter the hour.  Good luck with your journey.”  Luca makes a “mwah” sound as he blows him a kiss through the phone, then the line disconnects.

 

He takes a deep, calming breath as he sits back in the desk chair and tries to let his heart and his brain catch up with each other.  He looks at the time and sees it’s only 5:30.  He stares blankly at his computer for a minute before making a decision he realizes he might later regret.

 

But he needs to learn as much about everything that happened as he can, so he spends the next three hours Googling every interview, article, video, court document or other minor mention that he can find that deals with him and Armie, trying to soak up as much information as possible. 

 

Most of it hurts to read, with so much negativity surrounding their outing and Armie’s fight.  Luca was right, Liz really had gone out of her way to make sure he and Armie suffered as much as possible, going on several talk shows and giving exclusive interviews to websites about how shocked and betrayed she was by the news of their affair.  He almost can’t believe this is the same woman who’d basically become like an older sister to him almost immediately after they’d met.  It’s painful to see her being so angry and bitter, but he knows how deeply they must have hurt her, and he tries to understand why she felt the need to do this to them.  He can accept her hating him, as much as it hurts, but he’s not sure he can forgive her for trying to take the kids away from Armie.  It’s beyond fucked up and his heart clenches painfully as he thinks of what Armie must have felt going through all that.

 

He does find a handful of articles that do manage to stay mostly positive, focusing on their electric chemistry in the movie and wishing them well in their relationship.  He’s not at all surprised to note that most of them are from LGBTQ publications, but he deeply appreciates them for being so supportive when so much of the media was against them.

 

He finds the video from the awards ceremony in Austin.  He sees himself going onstage to accept the award that just two nights ago he remembers presenting to Armie, and it breaks his heart to know that Armie’s breathtaking performance went completely unrecognized in this world because of stupid drama that had zero to do with the art itself.  It isn’t fair.

 

He gasps when he hears the speech, _his_ speech, coming out of the other Timmy’s mouth.  It’s almost word for word what he’d said the other night, praising Armie for his talent and mentorship, saying how special their relationship was compared to others he’d worked with, saying what an amazing man, father, and husband he was.  But this time, when Timmy said the word “husband”, his eyes turned to a specific area of the audience and shined brightly with love and pride.  It was obvious he was looking right at Armie, at his amazing, loving husband who had stuck with him through all the craziness and turmoil, and who’d come to support him as he won an award for the movie that changed both of their lives forever.  A lump formed in his throat at the thought that this world’s Timmy spent ninety percent of his own acceptance speech just gushing about Armie.  Their love really _was_ something special.

 

When he finally makes it through everything he can find online, his eyes are swimming and his heart is heavy, completely overwhelmed by everything this day has thrown at him.  His stomach gurgles and he realizes it’s almost nine o’clock at night and he hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast this morning.  He orders a pizza and grabs the six-pack of beer he finds in the fridge and plops down on the couch to eat.  He starts to watch a show on Netflix to pass the time, but he gets bored halfway through and turns it off.  He stops drinking after 3 beers, though; he definitely doesn’t want a repeat of last night.

 

He gets a text from Armie a little after ten, apologizing profusely, saying there was some kind of kitchen emergency at the restaurant and he needs to make sure it gets properly dealt with before he comes home.  Timmy is almost numb to everything at that point, so he can’t even bring himself to reply.

 

He wanders through the house, taking his time to look at everything carefully and get a better feel for the home they built together over the past year.  He goes into each room, touching everything and trying to _feel_ the memories that exist there. 

 

He almost cries when he finds Harper and Ford’s bedrooms, beds made up nice and neat, nothing out of place, almost like two small kids had never lived there at all.  He picks up a small stuffed bunny sitting on the shelf with a few other toys in Harper’s room.  He remembers her playing with this the time he had stayed with Armie when he was filming “Beautiful Boy”.  He brings it to his face and rubs the soft fur along his smooth skin, breathing in the scent as he imagines Harper running around him in circles as she holds it close to her chest and smiling widely.  It suddenly all gets to be too much, so he quickly puts the bunny back and leaves the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

 

As he’s looking through their dvd collection, he notices one that says “Wedding” on it.  He takes it out and puts it in the player.  As the images of him and Armie appear on the screen, both dressed in their wedding tuxes, he sucks in a sharp breath and collapses back onto the couch.  Armie is wearing a traditional black tux, simple yet elegant.  Timmy is in all white, and it bears a striking resemblance to the suit he wore to the Oscars earlier this year.  The two of them join hands and stand in front of Luca as the ceremony begins.  Timmy gasps again when he realizes where they are – Crema.  He recognizes the villa in the background as they stand in the open grassy area by where the fake pool used to be.  They look so happy, so in love, so _free_.

 

On the screen, Luca begins the ceremony.  “Loved ones, we gather here today to unite these two beautiful souls in love and matrimony.”  He can see Nick at Armie’s side as his best man, and Pauline is next to him in a stunning silver dress.  His entire family is sat in the front row, but none of Armie’s family seems to be in attendance.  Sadly, not even Harper and Ford.  He also sees all their co-stars from Call Me By Your Name seated together, as well as Greta and a few of his friends from New York.

 

As the ceremony goes on, he watches himself on the screen grow impossibly happier.  He can see the look of pure adoration on Armie’s face when he begins his vows, and Timmy can’t hold back his tears any longer when he hears Armie’s heartfelt words of undying love for him.  Hearing his own vows feels incredibly surreal, thinking they were perfect and wanting to remember every word in just case he ever gets to say them for real someday.

 

As they exchange rings, Armie has a single tear rolling down his cheek and Timmy wipes it away tenderly, smiling at Armie with love as they turn back to face Luca.  When he pronounces them married, Armie brings his hand to Timmy’s cheek and whispers “I love you” before bringing their mouths together in a passionate kiss, to which applause erupts from the small crowd gathered there to celebrate with them.

 

When the video ends, Timmy can’t do anything but stare at the black screen in complete awe.  It was such a beautiful memory, one that he wishes with every fiber of his being that he’d been able to experience for real.  He understands now what Luca meant by their love being real and powerful.  This version of them had gone through so much pain, but they still chose each other over everything, and their love has never wavered.  He desperately wishes things had turned out differently for Armie, but he would gladly give up the career he has in his own world if it meant getting to be a part of the epic love story this world’s version of them have.

 

He finally drags himself to bed around 11:30 when there’s still no sign of Armie.  He lies awake for a while just thinking, wondering, if he never gets back to his own life, could he find a way to be happy in this one?  He has Armie here, an Armie who truly loves and adores him, and maybe that’s all he really needs.  It’s the last thought he has before sleep finally claims him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now you know just about everything about the how and why of what happened with the Timmy and Armie in the AU up until this point. There are still a few small details that I'll be sprinkling in along the way, but generally speaking, these are the major things you need to know about their life together in this other world.
> 
> The next several chapters will be much more Timmy/Armie focused, with Timmy getting to just live in this world for a bit and experience everyday life with Armie as his husband. And we'll get to see him navigate his acting career, what's left of it, in this new life as well. So stay tuned! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a sneaking suspicion that, despite getting a close-to-10K word info-dump about the AU world in the last two chapters, *this* is the chapter you guys have really been waiting for. So I hope you enjoy this not-so-short, sleepy, hot interlude with our two lovebirds. ;)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the amazing feedback I've gotten on this story. I'm so ridiculously excited that so many of you are just as invested in this universe as I am. <333

When Timmy wakes, he finds he’s no longer alone in the bed.  Armie is there, naked, on his back next to him, one of Timmy’s bare legs swung over Armie’s and an arm draped over Armie’s torso as he lays curled on his side against him.  He must have instinctively sought out Armie’s warmth once he joined him in bed without even consciously being aware of it. 

 

Though this is the third morning he has woken up in this different life, it’s the first time he’s gotten to experience waking up naked beside Armie in bed.  This time, the relief he feels far outweighs the dread as he looks up at Armie’s sleeping form and thinks that if this is the first image he gets to see every morning, it might just be worth dealing with all the other shit this universe has thrown at them.  It occurs to him that the Timmy of this world must have had the very same thought.

 

He thinks about all the things the Armie and Timmy here went through, how even after things blew up and pretty much ruined their lives, they decided it was all worth it in order to be together.  Armie had bared the brunt of it, and yet he still seems just as in love with Timmy as ever.  He tries to imagine if all of that happened to them in his own world, now, after they’d enjoyed the success of the movie and the boost to their careers instead of the downfall, would they be as strong and united as this world’s Timmy and Armie?  He can’t imagine _any_ world where he wouldn’t throw everything he has into loving Armie the way he should be loved, but would Armie even let him if he knew what it might mean for them?  Would _he_ even really want it if he knew it would mean stripping so many things away from Armie when he didn’t deserve any of it?

 

He looks at the man sleeping quietly next to him and tries to soothe the ache in his chest he feels for him.  He can’t do anything to change the past of this version of them, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to make the best of the life they managed to build despite everything.  It strikes him that if he’s going to be stuck in this life for the foreseeable future, which appears to be the case, then maybe he should try to acclimate to it and really settle in. 

 

And the first thing on his to-do list is to make love to his beautiful husband.

 

Part of him thinks he should let Armie sleep in a little longer.  He looks so peaceful, and he knows he must have gotten back late last night and is probably super tired.  But as he stares at Armie’s long, delicate eyelashes, his soft, sinful lips, and the barest hint of stubble that’s sprouting up along his jawline, the selfish part of him takes over and he can’t wait a minute longer.  He’s already had a couple of false starts with this Armie, and he’s done wasting time.  He needs to taste him, feel every inch of Armie’s body as it covers his own.  And he needs it _right the fuck_ _now_.

 

He turns his head to press gentle, open-mouthed kisses on Armie’s shoulder and bicep as he slides his hand slowly up from where it lays on Armie’s stomach to run his fingers through the short, coarse hair peppering his toned chest.  After a few seconds of his continued efforts, he feels Armie’s breathing pattern change and the leg Timmy’s covering with his own starts to shift slightly as he awakens.

 

He moves closer and lets his roaming mouth close over Armie’s left peck, poking his tongue out to swirl around the nipple until it perks up under his ministrations.  He can feel Armie’s cock twitch to life against his own thigh, and he smiles to himself as he continues to explore Armie’s upper body with his mouth.

 

When he reaches Armie’s abs and starts to suck gently at the taut skin, he hears a soft groan above him, followed by the deep, sleep-rough rumble of Armie’s voice as it reverberates through his body.  “Mmm, good morning to you, too, babe.”

 

Timmy looks up and sees Armie’s eyes just barely cracked open and looking down at him, a half-smile gracing his face as he slowly comes into consciousness.  He quickly scurries up Armie’s body to be face to face with him.  “Hi there, gorgeous.”  He grins and plants a firm kiss against Armie’s lips.  He doesn’t care about Armie’s morning breath or that his hair is a sticking up in several places, he wants Armie just as he is in this moment, like waking up beside him is the only place he’s ever truly belonged.

 

Armie’s smile widens as Timmy breaks away from his mouth and goes back down Armie’s body to continue licking and sucking where he left off.  When Timmy dips his tongue in the well of his belly button, Armie sucks in a sharp breath and squirms slightly.  Hands fly into Timmy’s hair and massage his scalp, a gentle signal to keep going.

 

He continues his exploration and slowly drags his tongue down to the crease where Armie’s hips and thigh meet.  He closes his mouth over the sensitive skin and sucks, causing Armie to let out a barely audible moan.  He looks up and see Armie’s eyes are closed again, his head angled back on the pillow, baring his throat to the ceiling as he waits for Timmy to reach his true goal.

 

He moves the last few inches to his prize, Armie’s now _very_ erect cock, and his mouth begins to salivate as he thinks about how long he’s wanted to have that particular piece of flesh in his mouth.  Armie seems extremely onboard with this plan, as well, given how hard he is and how his breath is already speeding up in anticipation.

 

It almost seems silly, but he’s suddenly nervous.  This isn’t the first dick he’s sucked, but it’s been in a while, and it’s _definitely_ the biggest, by far.  He moves his hand to grasp the base of it tightly as he gives an experimental lick up the length of the shaft.  At Armie’s moan of pleasure that has him spreading his legs even farther apart to give Timmy more access, he decides to just go for it and takes as much as he can in his mouth all at once.

 

“Fuuuuuuck, Tim.  Your mouth…”  Armie’s already panting and Timmy prides himself in being able to pleasure this Armie so easily even without the almost two years of practice that the other version of him has.

 

He takes Armie’s words as encouragement and begins moving his mouth up and down Armie’s length a few times before pulling almost completely off to suckle at the tip for a minute.  Armie’s hands tighten in his hair and he senses he must already be close. 

 

He pulls all the way off and squeezes the base of Armie’s dick hard.  When Armie’s head shoots up and he lets out a pathetic sounding whine, Timmy simply grins and shakes his head, his sleep-mussed curls falling into his eyes.  “Not yet.”

 

He crawls back up Armie’s body and kisses him again.  He angles himself onto his side and Armie follows suit, turning onto his side as well to keep from breaking their connection.  Armie’s hand comes up to cup Timmy’s cheek, and when he finally breaks the kiss, he sees Armie smiling staring at him in wonder.  “God, you’re beautiful.”

 

Timmy can feel the heat flush on his cheeks at Armie’s words.  It’s not the first time Armie has said something like that to him, but hearing it said with such awe and amazement in his voice makes his insides turn to mush.  All he can do is stare back, unable to fully comprehend the level of adoration Armie is currently showing him.

 

They just gaze at each other silently for a few seconds before Armie turns away to reach for something on the bedside table.  When he turns back and Timmy sees a condom packet and a small bottle of lube in his hand, all the air rushes out of his lungs.  _Finally_.  This is what he’s been waiting for, for Armie to take him, to be _his_ , wholly, in mind, body and soul.

 

Armie must notice his reaction, because he smirks and gives a soft chuckle.  “Is this what you want, baby?”  He darts his eyes to the objects in his hand.  Timmy can only nod and swallow hard, his mouth too dry to speak.

 

Armie smiles in response and brings his lips back to Timmy’s, lazily licking his way into Timmy’s mouth as he pops open the tube of lube with his thumb.  Seconds later, Timmy feels Armie reaching around behind him and one slick finger traces down the crease of his ass toward his entrance.  He lets out a tiny gasp at the first bit of pressure against his hole, and he actually whimpers and starts trembling when Armie’s first finger breaches him.  He’s so wrapped up in the overwhelming sensation of Armie finally being inside him that he almost doesn’t hear Armie’s soothing words whispered against his lips.  “Shh, it’s ok, babe, I got you.  Just relax.”

 

He tries to focus on his breathing, but it’s rather difficult when Armie wastes no time in adding a second finger, then a third, and the burn and stretch is setting his whole body on fire.  He clutches at Armie’s back and buries his head in the crook of his neck as Armie continues to prepare him. 

 

After a few minutes, Armie’s fingers disappear and he feels a nudge at the back of his shoulder, prompting him to turn onto his stomach.  He raises his head to meet Armie’s eyes and puts one hand on Armie’s chest to stop him.  “No, wait.”  He pauses for a second, trying to focus his foggy brain enough to properly explain what he wants.  When he sees Armie looking back to him with a furrowed brow, he tries again.  “I want…I want to be able to see you.”

 

Armie’s expression melts into an affectionate smile again and he tucks one of his wild curls back behind his ear, his eyes shining with so much love that it once again takes Timmy’s breath away.  Armie gently rolls them over so Timmy’s on his back and Armie’s hovering close above him, the majority of his weight resting on Timmy as they continue to kiss unhurriedly.  “Fuck baby, I love the way your body feels in the morning.  All warm and pliant beneath me.  Like I can mold you any way I want and make you mine.”

 

Timmy moans, the image of Armie’s words making his brain melt.  “I’m yours, Armie.  All yours.  You can do whatever you want with me.  Just please, fuck, do _something_.”  He was growing a bit desperate now, the need for Armie to take him becoming too much.

 

He can feel Armie’s answering chuckle vibrating through his body.  “A bit impatient this morning, are we?  You're acting like I didn’t practically fuck you through that hotel mattress a couple nights ago.”  Timmy might be amused at the hint of teasing in Armie’s voice if it wasn’t the absolute truth.  He feels a sudden, sharp pang of irrational jealousy that the other version of himself has experienced Armie letting go and fucking him like his life depended on it.  He’s had so many dirty dreams about that exact scenario, but this other Timmy has had the real thing, and it makes him twitchy with envy.  But he’s about to remedy that.  He doesn’t respond to Armie’s ribbing, simply wraps his legs around Armie’s waist tightly and pulls him closer.  Armie chuckles again, seeming to finally take the hint.  “Ok, ok!”

 

Armie moves back to roll the condom on, and all Timmy can do is watch him in rapt silence.  When Armie moves back into position, he lowers himself down to rest half on top of Timmy, his forearms bent at the elbow on the mattress as he ever so slowly pushes his hips forward. 

 

Timmy can’t stop the gasp, followed by the long moan, he makes when the head of Armie’s cock finally breaches his body.  The only thought in his brain is how _right_ this feels, how Armie’s body must have been made to fit his perfectly, like two missing puzzle pieces finally slotting together after years of being apart. 

 

Armie starts rocking his hips back and forth languidly, just short, shallow thrusts as he lays over Timmy and kisses him gently.  This is nothing like Timmy thought their first time would be like.  He thought it’d be frantic and passionate, bordering on rough, with years of pent up desires finally being released and causing an explosive bed-rocking encounter.  But as Armie holds him close, his movements slow and sleepy, like he has all the time in the world and doesn’t need to rush their pleasure, he decides this is somehow even better than he could have ever imagined. 

 

He reminds himself that this isn’t Armie’s first time with him, or at least with a version of him, and the confidence in which he takes care of Timmy and gives him exactly what he needs without needing to ask just proves that.  It speaks to the hundreds of times they must have done this since they got together, the urgency and desperation now replaced by the simple joy of enjoying each other’s bodies as a natural expression of their love and commitment to each other. 

 

He pulls Armie tighter to him and can’t hold back from crying out in pleasure when Armie shifts the angle of his hips and hits the spot inside him that has him seeing stars.  When he opens his eyes, not even realizing he closed them, he looks up and sees Armie’s eyes are also closed, lost in the sensation of pleasure from being inside him as they move together leisurely.

 

He moves one hand up to run his thumb over Armie’s cheek as he cups his face.  Armie’s eyes blink open and he looks down at him, smiling fondly as he turns his face into Timmy’s gentle touch.  “Fuck, babe, you feel so good.”  He grunts softly and picks up his pace ever so slightly, still unhurried but thrusting a little deeper and with just a bit more force.  Timmy responds by leaning up to kiss him, tugging on Armie’s lower lip with his teeth and burying his hand in the short strands of Armie’s hair. 

 

Armie hands roam all over Timmy’s body, caressing and tracing lines in his smooth flesh, which causes Timmy to break out in goosebumps everywhere his fingers touch.  When Armie pulls back from their kiss to get air, Timmy bites his own lip to keep from making embarrassing whimpering noises as Armie continues to take his time and just enjoy the pleasure they’re both feeling in the moment. 

 

He feels like he’s been on the edge of his climax for hour when Armie _finally_ moves his hand between them and closes it around Timmy’s leaking cock.  He gasps into Armie’s mouth as Armie’s lips close over his to swallow the sound, and it only takes a handful of strokes before he comes over Armie’s hand and all over his stomach.

 

He feels his ass spasming around Armie as his orgasm hits him, and Armie breaks their kiss to lean his forehead on Timmy’s shoulder as he moans and grunts, thrusting a few more times before stilling completely as the first wave of his climax washes over him.  He pants heavily into Timmy’s neck for several seconds, then pulls his face back so he can kiss Timmy one more time, messy and wet, before finally rolling onto his side next to him.

 

Timmy winces slightly as Armie pulls out of him, already mourning the loss of Armie’s gorgeously thick cock inside him.  When he finally catches his breath, he rolls his head to the side to look at Armie, who’s eyes are closed but there’s a contented smile on his face.  Timmy doesn’t think Armie has ever looked more beautiful than he does in that moment. 

 

He’s completely in awe of this man, who it seems would literally give up his whole life to be with him.  He knows how rare that kind of love is, and he can’t believe there’s a version of himself that was lucky enough to find it and hang onto it.  He idly wonders where that Timmy is now.  Is he in our world living his life while he was here living in this one?  Did he just disappear completely?  Is he even real at all? 

 

Part of him hopes that he isn’t, because then he wouldn’t need to feel guilty for taking over his life, even though it was through no fault of his own.  He thinks that now that he’s had this, has finally gotten a taste of what true love with Armie really feels like, he might not be willing to give it up.  He’s not sure he can survive going back to just being Armie’s “bro” after being with him in this way and experiencing the full intensity of his love.  He’d never be able to forget what they have in this life and the weight of knowing it can’t happen in his own would crush him.

 

But none of that really matters right now, because he’s currently staring at this stunning creature, the man of his dreams, who’s post-orgasm blissed out face is making his heart explode with love and happiness, and he doesn’t want to worry about what will happen when or if he finally returns to his other life.  He just wants to stay in this moment forever and bask in the glow of finally having been intimate with the man he’s loved for two years and never thought he would have in this way.

 

“I can feel you staring, Timmy.”  Armie’s rough voice startles him out of his thoughts.  “Not that I mind, of course.”  Armie’s lips twitch into a lopsided smile as he blinks open his eyes to meet Timmy’s.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but he’s not really.  He could never truly be sorry about taking the time to appreciate Armie’s beauty, both his striking outer good looks and his intensely beautiful soul.

 

“What’s on your mind?”  Armie’s brows knit together as he notices Timmy’s shift in mood.

 

“Nothing, I just…”  He stops, considering his next words very carefully.  He shuffles so he’s on his side to better face Armie, and he slides his left hand up to thread his fingers in between Armie’s on the mattress, their rings making a soft clinking sound as they slide together.  He looks into Armie’s eyes quietly for several seconds before he continues.  “I love you, Armie.”

 

It’s the first time he’s been able to say those words in the context that he really means them.  He’s told Armie he loves him plenty of times before, but it’s always had to be couched in safe, platonic phrasing to maintain their “brother” vibe.  He figured if he ever got the chance to say it for real, he’d have a million anxious thoughts screaming at him, but as the words pass his lips now, all he feels is a sense of peace and calm.  It’s a simple truth, one that’s been there since the very beginning, and finally being able to express it properly is like a giant exhale after holding his breath underwater for two years.

 

Armie’s worried expression is immediately replaced by a giddy smile and shining eyes.  “I love you, too, babe.”  The casualness with which Armie repeats his words back to him startles him, like it’s something he’s said a thousand times before and the truth of it was never in any doubt.  It makes his heart simultaneously swell and break at the apparent ease this version of Armie has with expressing his love for him. 

 

He suddenly remembers what Luca had said to him last night just before he hung up.  If what he said was true, it means that this Armie and the one back in his world are practically the same person, with the same backgrounds and thoughts and feelings.  The only difference is that this one chose to explore what he and Timmy had between them while they were filming, and his Armie hadn’t.  But that doesn’t mean that he didn’t still _have_ those feelings.

 

Armie brings their joined hands up to his lips and kisses the back of Timmy’s knuckles gently.  Timmy scoots closer and as soon as Armie moves their hands back down, he replaces them with his own lips, closing firmly over Armie’s in a kiss fueled by the heady knowledge that Armie loves him the way he’s been wishing for so long.

 

He rolls them so Armie’s on his back and Timmy’s resting his full weight on him, not caring that the drying come on his stomach smears between them as their bodies connect.  Armie grunts in surprise but chuckles into the kiss as Timmy continues to ravish his mouth.

 

When Timmy finally pulls back to breathe, Armie looks up at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement.  “What’s gotten into you today?”  It doesn’t sound accusatory, just general bewilderment at Timmy’s sudden intensity.

 

Timmy traces a finger from Armie’s neck down to his chest as he peers down at him.  “Nothing.  I’m just really happy to have this.”  His finger draws a small circle around the skin over Armie’s heart before he flattens his palm against the gentle thudding coming from underneath.  He gives Armie a genuine smile and snuggles his head down between Armie’s neck and shoulder.

 

Armie doesn’t answer, but he brings a hand to Timmy’s back and rubs it up and down slowly.  The motion serves to lull Timmy into a sleepy trance, and soon the edges of his vision blurs as he fights to keep himself awake.  He’s distantly aware of Armie wiping the come off their stomachs with the corner of the sheet and shifting underneath him enough so he can pull off the condom and toss it into the trash. 

 

When Armie settles again, he pulls the covers up around them both and wraps his arm tightly around Timmy’s back, holding him close.  Just as Timmy is about to drift back to sleep, he feels Armie press a soft kiss into his hair.  A small smile crosses his face and he squeezes Armie’s hand once before allowing sleep to take him, safe and protected in Armie’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was worth the wait, lol! :D
> 
> The next several chapters will be a mixture of more hot sexcapades and a bit of actual plot as Timmy fully settles into this world for the time being and tries to navigate all that goes with it. Stay tuned! <333


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you guys wanted more smut, yes? Your wish is my command! LOL! ;P
> 
> This one contains a better balance of smut and actual plot, but I promise there's still PLENTY of porny goodness for you to enjoy, lol. It actually got suuuuuuuper long (is anyone surprised? lol), so I've split it up into two chapters that covers the rest of this one day. The whole thing is already written and I will post the second part tomorrow. I just didn't want to overwhelm you with the entire almost 8K in one go, especially because there's kind of a lot going on in these chapters, even though they mostly spend a quiet day alone together.
> 
> As always, comments give me liiiiiiiiiiiiiffffe!!! I'm so eternally grateful for all the amazing, thoughtful comments I've been getting on this story. It's a writer's dream (or at least THIS writer) to get to interact with the readers and discuss all the crazy theories and ins and outs of the story you're creating. I have many details in my head about this AU world that, for reasons dealing with limited POV, I can't really include in the story proper, so if you have questions/concerns about why something is happening, hit me up in the comments and I will hopefully be able to explain why things are as they are. Or just come say hi because I adore those comments, too. <333
> 
> Enjoy!! :D

When he wakes again a couple hours later, he’s still draped over most of Armie’s body.  He slowly lifts his head to look at Armie, who’s already awake and scrolling through his phone with one hand, the other hand still wrapped protectively around his back.  When Timmy’s eyes meet his, Armie smiles sweetly at him.  “Hey, you.”  Armie shifts forward a bit so he can give him a quick peck on the cheek before settling back against the pillows.

 

“Hi.”  He smiles back sleepily, his mouth opening into a yawn before he can stop himself.  He looks at Armie’s phone, which Armie had dropped onto the bed when he’d moved to kiss him.  “How long have you been awake?”

 

Armie shrugs.  “A little while.  I didn’t want to wake you.  You seemed pretty out of it.”  He brings his hand up to brush back a handful of Timmy’s unruly curls that fall into face when he ducks his head, tucking them behind his ear and rubbing his thumb along the edge of the lobe softly.

 

Timmy bites his lower lip.  He wants nothing more than to just spend the day in bed with Armie and make love to him over and over again.  After that incredible first time, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to get enough of Armie being inside him.  He absentmindedly begins tracing his fingers along Armie’s side, peering at Armie thoughtfully.  “Do you have to go into work today?”

 

“What day is it?”  Armie rolls his eyes upward as he mentally counts the days.  “Sunday?  Nope, I’m all yours today.”  Armie smiles widely and leans up to give him another kiss, this time on the mouth.  It’s meant to be a quick peck, but Timmy quickly moves his hand to the back of Armie’s head to keep him there, wasting no time in deepening the kiss.  He opens his mouth to seek Armie’s tongue with his own, and he finds it ready and waiting for him as Armie’s lips part in invitation.

 

He still can’t get over how easy and natural this feels, kissing Armie this way.  It’s a far cry from the kisses they shared on set, where yes, there was a huge amount of trust and intimacy, but there were also hard boundaries set in place to keep things professional, and both were careful not to cross them.  Well, except for that one night they were rehearsing the midnight scene, but neither of them had ever spoken of that night after it happened, and they were extra careful to keep themselves in check after that.  It didn’t stop Timmy from constantly wanting more, though.

 

So now to have this, the freedom to kiss Armie like he _means_ it, like it’s all he ever needs for the rest of his life, is exhilarating.  And Armie’s giving back just as good as he’s getting, licking and sucking at Timmy’s mouth like he might devour him whole.  He shifts to more fully straddle Armie, leaning up on his knees and pulling Armie up in a half-sitting position as he continues to explore the inviting heat of Armie’s mouth.

 

Just as he’s about to move things along and start grinding his hips down into Armie’s for some much-needed friction, a loud rumbling sound comes from Armie’s stomach, causing Armie to break away from the kiss and groan in embarrassment.  “Fuck, I’m sorry.  I’m fucking starving.”  He gives Timmy an apologetic smile, realizing he basically ruined the moment.

 

Timmy’s half tempted to just ignore the rumbling and continue on, but he doesn’t want Armie to suffer hunger pains on his account.  He returns the smile and leans back in for one last breath of a kiss before he slides off Armie and reaches out his hand for Armie to take.  “Fine, let’s find you something to eat then.  Wouldn’t want you getting all _hangry_ on me in the middle of sex.” 

 

Armie lets out a genuine laugh at that.  They’re both well aware of just how grumpy Armie gets when he goes too long without food.  One of the very few times he’d ever had Armie’s temper turned on him was when they’d been stuck in horrible traffic due to a crazy accident on the way to a photo shoot and it took them 4 hours to reach their destination.  Armie had skipped breakfast that morning because he’d been running late, figuring he could pick something up in the restaurant of the hotel they were doing the shoot in.  By the time they finally arrived, Armie was the most irritable Timmy had ever seen him, ranting about anything and everything, including Timmy’s vain attempt to remain positive and upbeat despite the chaos of the situation.  Armie had snapped at him when he’d tried to make him laugh by singing along horribly off-key to the radio, and after that, Timmy went silent for the rest of the ride.  As soon as Armie got a giant plate of fried chicken in his system, he was back to normal and spent the rest of the day apologizing to Timmy and trying to make it up to him.  Timmy had accepted his apology, of course, but he never passed up an opportunity to rib him about it when it presented itself.  He figured even if this world’s Timmy hadn’t had that exact experience, he surely had some other stories of a hungry, cranky Armie wreaking havoc until he was properly fed.

 

Armie takes Timmy’s proffered hand and they quickly throw on some clothes before making their way down to the kitchen.  There’s not much in their refrigerator, but they do manage to find two eggs and some milk that’s only been expired for one day.  Armie insists that Timmy should eat the eggs, and though he tries to half-heartedly decline, he’s not at all upset when Armie slides the plate of over-easy eggs in front of him with a grin.  Armie finds half a bowl of cereal for himself and uses the last of the milk for it, and when that doesn’t completely fill him, he finds the leftover pizza and warms up two pieces, not even caring that it’s barely 10 a.m.

 

After breakfast, they decide to shower together.  Timmy immediately gets excited about the prospect of some steamy shower sex.  It’s another one of his long-held fantasies about Armie, and if this morning is anything to go by, he’s sure it will exceed his expectations.

 

They strip and step in to the generously sized shower after making sure the water is hot enough.  Timmy’s grateful they were able to find a house with a shower this size on whatever their budget was, since, considering how huge Armie was just by himself, it’d be near impossible for the two of them to fit into anything smaller.  There’s still not a ton of extra room to move around, but it seems to work well enough for them.

 

When Armie gently grabs him by the shoulders and turns him around so his back is to Armie’s chest, Timmy’s heartrate speeds up, thinking Armie must be on the same page he is about the shower sex.  He licks his lips and spreads his legs apart, ready to once again be filled with Armie’s thick cock.  When he doesn’t feel Armie’s fingers sliding down the crease of his ass like he expects, but instead feels them winding into his wet curls and massaging his scalp with shampoo, he suddenly forgets how to breathe.  The gesture is so tender and intimate, it makes his whole body fill with warmth.  He instantly decides to abandon his plan for sex and instead just lets himself melt under Armie’s soothing touch, closing his eyes so he can concentrate on just _feeling_.

 

“Have I mentioned how much I love that you’re letting your hair grow out?”  The deep rumble of Armie’s voice brings him back to himself after a couple minutes.  “It makes you look older, more mature.  Not quite as boyish.”

 

Timmy smiles to himself as Armie’s hands continue to rifle through his hair.  “It didn’t seem to be an issue for you back in Crema.”  He’s teasing, but it also had to be somewhat true.  He wishes he had the exact details, but Luca had said they’d started their affair during filming, back when his hair was pretty short and he looked all of 15.  So his boyish looks couldn’t have been that much of a turn off for him.

 

Armie breaths a quiet laugh behind him.  “Touché.”  Armie digs his fingers a little deeper into his hair.  “But sometimes it’s nice to have a little extra length to hang onto, ya know?”  Armie gives his hair a sudden sharp tug, making him gasp in surprise and unexpected arousal.  He lets out a quiet moan as he suddenly realizes that maybe hairpulling is a _thing_ for him.  Good to know.

 

He hears Armie’s snort in response to his reaction.  He’s about to make a quippy comeback when Armie suddenly maneuvers him under the spray of the water to rinse the shampoo from his hair.  He decides to let it go for now and let Armie manhandle him, but he makes a mental note to get him back for that later.

 

Armie washes his own hair and they each wash their own bodies quickly but thoroughly.  Once they’re dried off and dressed, Armie mentions that he really should go shopping for food since they have basically nothing left but a couple slices of pizza and an assortment of juices.  Timmy offers to come with him, but Armie says he has a couple other errands he needs to do that he hadn’t had time for before they left for Texas, so he ultimately decides to stay home.  Armie promises it won’t take him more than a couple hours, and with a quick peck to the cheek, he’s out the door.

 

Timmy decides to spend the time alone to properly go through his phone and respond to the dozens of emails and texts that have come in during the last few days which he hadn’t had time or energy to deal with before now, considering he spent the entire previous night doing a deep dive into the history of his and Armie’s relationship.

 

Among the random emails from people he doesn’t recognize, he finds one from his mother with an article about the Texas Awards attached.  The message reads “So proud of you, baby!  I can’t wait to hear all about it.  I hope you’re able to come visit us soon.  It’s been far too long since I’ve seen your darling face.  Miss you and love you always.  Mama.”

 

A lump forms in his throat and his chest constricts painfully.  He’s suddenly incredibly homesick and wants nothing more than to curl up in his mother’s lap.  He wonders how long it’s been since this world’s Timmy has seen his parents.  He remembers hearing Armie’s guilt over him having to live far away from them.  He types out a reply, making sure to say how much he loves and misses them, too, and he promises that he’ll try to come out to see them as soon as he can.  He includes a picture of him and Armie that they’d taken on their day out in Austin.  As he hits ‘send’, he wonders if it’ll actually be him that gets to see this version of them, or if he will be back to his own life by then.

 

There are several emails from Brian regarding upcoming auditions he has lined up in the coming week.  As he reads through the roles they are for, he can’t help but be disheartened.  He knows the Timmy of this world never got the career boost he had, but most of these roles were not even of the same caliber as what he’d been auditioning for before Call My By Your Name made a name for him.  It appears Saoirse had been right, this Timmy was busting his ass for roles that were neither interesting nor challenging, and it makes his heart sink a bit.

 

He sees another email from Brian confirming their lunch meeting this coming Friday.  Maybe he can talk to him and try to line up some other auditions for some meatier roles.  Or maybe he could go back to theater.  It’s not quite the same in L.A. as it is on Broadway, but he’s sure there had to be _something_ better than “Angsty Teen” or “Josh’s Dorky Friend” out there for him.  He’s not above paying his dues while he’s young to earn a respectable career in the future, but this seems a bit extreme, especially given the intricate and complex roles he’s already gotten to play in his short time as an actor.  Had the scandal of him and Armie getting together really affected things _that much_ here?  Given the current contents of his inbox, it apparently had.

 

He sends off quick replies to the rest of his messages, at least the ones from people he recognizes, including a text from Pauline that just says “You’re doing amazing, baby bro.  Love you.”  He has half a mind to call her and try to tell her what’s going on, but he thinks if he did, he’d just end up breaking down in tears and she’d think he was crazy.  So he opts for just replying to her text with a heart emoji and hopes that someday soon he will be able to explain everything to her, if he ever figures it out for himself.

 

Once he’s finished going through his messages, he putters around the house for a bit until Armie comes back a little after 1 o’clock.  He’s got one armful of grocery bags and the other is holding a couple take-out bags from the Chinese restaurant around the corner.  “What?  I had a craving for lo mein,” he explains when Timmy eyes the bags in his hand.  Leave it to Armie to get take-out when he literally has a car full of fresh groceries.

 

He shakes his head in amusement and takes a few of the bags from Armie and sets them on the counter in the kitchen.  Once the groceries are put away, they sit and eat their Chinese food on the couch as Armie turns on some cooking show on Netflix.  Timmy doesn’t really have any interest, but Armie seems pretty into it, so once he’s done eating, he stretches his legs out to rest his feet in Armie’s lap and scrolls through his social media accounts to entertain himself.

 

By the time the third episode starts, he’s totally bored.  Armie still seems engrossed by the show, but Timmy’s long past the point of caring and is now solely concentrated on the fact that he can feel the heat emanating from Armie’s crotch that’s located just to the left of where Timmy’s heel is currently resting in Armie’s lap.  His foot twitches slightly of its own accord, then after a minute, he deliberately starts to move his foot just barely up and down Armie’s inner thigh, rubbing his toes over the fabric of his shorts softly.

 

One of Armie’s hands comes down automatically to rub along the length of his calf, his eyes never leaving the tv screen.  It’s clear this is something that must happen fairly often and it’s become easy and familiar for them.  It’s a sweet gesture, but it’s not exactly the reaction Timmy had in mind for this particular moment.

 

He carefully swings his feet from Armie’s lap and leans down to grab the remote from the coffee table, hitting the power button swiftly and turning the tv off.  “Timmy, what -?  I was watching that!”  Armie’s voice is more confused than annoyed, but he can see the hint of agitation in his eyes when he turns to look at him.

 

Timmy doesn’t answer, just nimbly crawls over to straddle Armie’s lap in one smooth motion, claiming Armie’s mouth in his before Armie has a chance to protest.  He wastes no time in rolling his hips downward into Armie’s, their cocks rubbing against each other through their pants.  Armie lets out a strangled moan into his mouth, and Timmy can’t stop the self-satisfied grin that breaks out on his face when he pulls back.  “You were saying?”  He breathes it into Armie’s ear as he grinds down on him again.  Being slotted so closely together, he can already feel Armie’s cock starting to perk up underneath him.

 

Armie growls low in the back of his throat.  “Fuck the show.”  He surges up to capture Timmy’s mouth in his own passionate kiss, and Timmy has to clamp his knees tightly around Armie’s hips so he doesn’t fall off the couch with the sudden motion.  Armie’s hand is buried in his hair and his are gripping the back of the couch tightly.  When he senses Armie is about to flip them over so he can fuck him hard into the couch, he pulls back quickly.  He has another idea of what he wants right now.

 

He firmly pushes Armie back and slides off the couch and onto the floor between Armie’s spread legs.  “What?  Where’d you go?”  Armie’s pathetic sounding whine floats down to him as he slowly lifts his head to meet his gaze.

 

Timmy has a mischievous glint in his eyes as he answers.  “Don’t worry, I’m just finishing what I started earlier.”  He winks and then immediately starts unzipping Armie’s shorts, reaching into his underwear and pulling his straining cock out in one fluid motion, angling the tip to be just below his parted lips.

 

“Oh fuck, yes, please, fuck yes.  Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!”  Armie’s already babbling and he’s barely even touched him, which he takes as a good sign.  He smirks and licks a thick stripe all the way up Armie’s throbbing dick from base to tip.  Armie keens, fucking _keens_ , and the sound goes straight to his own dick.  Armie’s hips push off the couch in an effort to seek the full heat of his mouth, but Timmy firmly presses his hands down on either side of him to keep him still.

 

Once Armie settles back onto the couch, he quickly closes his lips over the tip of his dick and slides as far down as he can.  He consciously relaxes his throat to take him in further, but he still can’t quite get all the way to the base without choking.  Armie doesn’t seem to mind, though, since when he flicks his eyes back up to look at him, he’s got his head thrown back against the back of the couch and his eyes closed, mouth parted in ecstasy as he pants quietly.

 

He smiles around Armie’s cock and continues to move up and down slowly, drawing out the experience as long as he can.  When Armie starts to groan low in his throat, Timmy can’t take it anymore and lifts one hand from Armie’s hip and wrenches it into his own pants to stroke his already hard and leaking cock.  He doesn’t have a lot of leverage at the angle he’s in, so after a few stuttered movements, he yanks his pants down his thighs and pulls himself free of the fabric altogether for easier access.

 

He continues to work himself as he slowly licks and sucks Armie into oblivion, but at one point he gets so close that he has to pull his hand back so he doesn’t come too soon.  Armie’s gone mostly quiet above him, only the occasional encouraging moan or grunt coming from him as he lets Timmy pleasure him at his own pace.  His eyes are still closed, and his hands alternate between being shoved into Timmy’s hair and gripping his shoulders for dear life as Timmy’s head bobs up and down the length of his hard flesh.

 

When Timmy can tell Armie is getting close, the speed of his breath picking up and the muscles in his thighs tensing, he makes a decision.  He slowly removes the hand still holding Armie’s hip to the couch and moves his head back slightly in a silent invitation.  He looks up at Armie, who’s head is now upright and eyes open, peering down at him in question.  Timmy pulls all the way off Armie a gives him a short nod and a half-smile.  Armie moves one hand from Timmy’s shoulder to caress the side of his face, cupping it softly for a few seconds before sliding it back into Timmy’s hair and guiding his head back down slowly.

 

Timmy opens his mouth wide and forces himself to relax as he feels the tip of Armie’s dick hitting the back of his throat on the first thrust of his hips.  To Armie’s credit, Timmy can tell he’s not going full force, holding back so he isn’t making Timmy choke and cough uncomfortably as he fucks his mouth.  But he’s still going strong enough that Timmy feels the prick of tears forming at the edges of his eyes as Armie continues to push deep into his throat.  He somehow manages to swallow around the onslaught, which causes Armie to let out a guttural moan just as he pushes forward one more time and suddenly stills, his cock pulsing thick streaks of come down Timmy’s throat.

 

Timmy swallows it all, savoring the slightly bitter taste of Armie on the back of his tongue, Armie’s dick spurting a few last drops of come as it slowly softens in his mouth.  He gives the tip one last gentle suck before releasing it and pulling back, leaning his cheek against Armie’s inner thigh as he tries to catch his breath.  Armie’s boneless body sags back into the couch as he tries to recover from his orgasm.

 

Once Timmy is able to see clearly again, he brings his hand back to his own aching dick and resumes stroking himself to completion.  Just as he’s about to tip over the cliff, he feels Armie tugging him upward.  He looks up at him in confusion, his eyes hooded and half-glazed over in his over-aroused state, but Armie’s tugging is insistent.  “Come on, get up here.”  His voice is scratchy and deep, and it makes Timmy whimper with lust. 

 

He gingerly gets off his knees and follows Armie’s guidance to once again straddle his lap.  He kicks off his pants in the process so they don’t hinder his movement as he settles astride Armie’s legs.  Armie leans up enough to strip his own shirt off, then leans as far back into the cushions as he can and pulls Timmy forward on top of him.  Armie’s fingers wrap around his throbbing cock and he lets out a strangled cry at the sensation of Armie’s huge, warm hand moving over him and quickly bringing him closer to the edge.  It only takes a handful of strokes before Timmy comes with Armie’s name on his lips and his taste still lingering on his tongue.

 

When he comes back to himself and pries his eyes open again, it’s just in time to see Armie swipe two long fingers through the mess Timmy made on his chest, scooping up as much of it as he can, then bring them to his mouth and lick them clean.  Timmy’s dick gives a feeble twitch at the sight, and he bites down on his lip so hard he’s afraid he might draw blood.  All he can do is look on silently, his throat suddenly too dry to form words.

 

Armie looks up at him with blown pupils when he’s finished licking the come off his fingers.  “Fuck, babe, that was so goddamn hot.”  He’s still panting slightly as he reaches over to grab his discarded shirt, using it to haphazardly wipe the rest of Timmy’s come from his chest before pulling Timmy down to lean more fully on him.  “First this morning and now this?  Is it my birthday or something?”  He laughs breathily into Timmy’s hair and presses a quick kiss to his temple.

 

Timmy buries his face into Armie’s shoulder as embarrassment starts to take hold of him.  Is it that unusual for them to have sex more than once a day in this life?  He couldn’t imagine _any_ version of himself not trying to climb Armie like a tree at every possible opportunity.  “Shut up.”  He mumbles into Armie’s neck.  “You’re just…you’re really hot, ok?”  He rolls his head to the side to peer up at Armie’s face, who is looking back at him with amusement etched into his features.

 

“And _you’re_ just really horny.”  Armie teases him as he brings one hand up to dig his fingers into Timmy’s side, making Timmy to squirm to try to get away and he ends up falling sideways onto the couch.  Before he can get any further, Armie grabs him by the waist to keep him close.  “It’s ok, I have no objections whatsoever, especially when I’m the one reaping the rewards.”  Armie leans over and plants a big, wet kiss on his cheek, eyes shining with giddiness when he pulls back.

 

Timmy follows him and presses their mouths together firmly, moaning quietly as he tastes himself still lingering in Armie’s mouth.  He wonders if Armie is able to make out the taste of his own come in his mouth, as well.  Armie’s hand comes up to cup the side of his face for a few seconds before sliding down to press against his neck, his thumb gently rubbing over Timmy’s jawline.

 

When they finally break apart, Armie smiles lovingly at him.  “Come on, let’s get cleaned up.”  He tucks himself back into his shorts and grabs Timmy’s pants from the floor.  Timmy gets dressed and Armie grabs a washcloth from the kitchen and wipes his chest more thoroughly to clean the sweat and last remnants of dried come still clinging to the short hairs.

 

Armie settles back into the couch to finish watching the episode of the cooking show he’d started, but Timmy decides to spend some time reading over the script pages for the auditions he had coming up.  Even if most of them only consisted of a few lines each and had character descriptions that were so generic they sometimes had numbers next to them, he was determined to be fully prepared and show them the best damn “Laughing Kid #2” they’d ever seen.  Time to make lemonade out of those bitter, sour lemons this Liz had thrown at them.

 

With a quick kiss to the top of Armie’s head as he passes by the back of the couch, he disappears into the study and spends the next two hours until dinner perfecting his stage laugh and his angsty smolder.  Those casting agents weren’t going to know what hit them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one ends a bit abruptly, but as I said, I'm splitting my one looooong chapter up into two and I struggled to find a decent breaking point. The next part, which will be posted tomorrow, will give you some insight into just how Armie and Timmy became Armie/Timmy in the first place. Stay tuned!! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aahhh, ok, so not to toot my own horn here or anything, but I am really, really proud of this chapter. It's the one I've been wanting to get to since the beginning, where we find out exactly how Armie and Timmy got together in the first place. It's that moment which essentially "created" this AU world and split it from the one we know. Someone a few chapters back mentioned in the comments it was like "The Butterfly Effect", and that's exactly it. I'm using the theory that every tiny decision we ever make can essentially create a million different potential outcomes for our lives. This particular AU is just one of the *many* possible worlds that exist where Armie and Timmy are together, but it's the one our Timmy finds himself in now and has to deal with. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :D
> 
> So much <33333 to everyone reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. You guys rock!

Later, when they’re lying in bed together, Armie quietly reading a book and Timmy curled against his side, his mind begins to wander.  He’d tried once again to get into the book he’d started on the plane, but after five pages he’d decided he was bored and had given up. 

 

Now he’s aimlessly staring at the ceiling as he focuses on the calming sound of Armie breathing quietly beside him, the edges of his vision catching on Armie’s broad chest moving faintly up and down with each inhale and exhale.  He’s never felt so connected to another person in his life.  Even now, when all they’re doing is lying together in bed, not even looking at each other, he feels like their souls are somehow intertwined, like no matter what happens or where he is, Armie is always going to be the most important person in his orbit.  He’s suddenly overcome with the urge to tell him everything.  He doesn’t want to have any secrets from him, especially one this big.

 

He swings his head to the side to glance at Armie, who’s still peacefully reading next to him, his lips slightly parted as his eyes quickly scan over the words on the pages of the book in his hands.  Timmy moves one hand to rest lightly on Armie’s bare stomach, the tip of his pinky finger teasing along the edge of his soft sweatpants.  “Hey Armie?”  His voice is quiet, hesitant, not wanting to disturb him from his story.

 

“Hmm?”  It’s more of a grunt than a true hum, and he doesn’t look up from the book, but Timmy takes it as an affirmative to continue.

 

“Can I ask you something?”  He’s still quiet, suddenly unsure if this is a good idea.  But he doesn’t want to hide anything from Armie after all they’ve shared today.

 

“Yeah, what’s up?”  Armie moves the arm closest to Timmy from holding his book to wrap around Timmy’s shoulder and arm, rubbing up and down smoothly, but his eyes are still trained on the book in front of him.

 

Timmy swallows and summons all his courage to speak again.  “Do you believe in parallel universes?”  It comes out barely a squeak, and he clears his throat after the words leave his mouth, but he decides to wait for Armie’s answer before trying to explain further.

 

It seems to take a minute for the question to fully register in Armie’s head, but when it finally does, it definitely gets his attention.  He shoves the thumb of the hand still holding the book into the page he’s on and lowers it to the bed, turning to finally look at Timmy with a raised eyebrow.  “What, like wormholes and aliens and raining fireballs, shit like that?”

 

Timmy laughs in spite of himself.  “I was thinking a little less sci-fi, more just like…a different version of this world.  Like everything is the same except…it’s not.”

 

Armie’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.  “I’m not sure I follow.”

 

Timmy sighs softly.  Maybe this isn’t a good idea after all.  He’s not sure how to explain it to Armie when he’s still not even entirely sure what happened himself.  All he knows is 3 days ago he woke up in this parallel life with Armie as his husband, and now he wants to be completely honest with him.  He shifts his body so he’s leaning up on his elbow.  “Ok, like have you ever thought about what our lives would be like if we had never gotten together?  If you had stayed with Liz and we never acted on the attraction between us when we were filming?”  He wishes he had the exact details of what happened, but Luca hadn’t seemed to have those, or if he did, he hadn’t divulged them when they spoke.

 

Armie’s brows shoot up even further on his face.  “You mean if I had never kissed you that night, and we just never became anything other than co-stars?” 

 

Timmy’s ears perk up at the tidbit that it was Armie who had initiated things between them.  He can’t help but be mildly surprised by that, knowing how much Armie had to lose compared to him when they met.  “Yes, exactly.  Like maybe there’s some universe out there where we are just friends, where we both still have decent acting careers and you still have your kids and Liz never…” he trails off when he sees Armie’s eyes harden and his jaw clench tightly.  He feels Armie’s entire body stiffen beside him.  Shit.

 

“If such a place exists, I’m glad I don’t have to live there.  It sounds like it would be miserable.”  Armie moves his hand from inside the book to scrub over his face and into his hair, not caring that he lost the page he was on in the process.

 

Timmy can’t deny he’s a little shocked at Armie’s reaction.  He knows they aren’t together in his world, and he _hates_ that, but at least they have other things going for them that they don’t have here.  Armie’s acting like it would be the worst possible scenario.  “Really, why?”

 

He can see the hurt flash over Armie’s face, and he immediately regrets his question.  He never meant to insinuate that Armie would be better off in a world where they weren’t together, but it’s clear that’s what Armie hears.  Armie sighs and closes his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, staring directly into Timmy’s.  “Listen, I know we’ve gone through our fair share of shit in the past couple years, but god Timmy, I would never want to live in a world where I don’t have you, no matter what the tradeoff might be.  I’ve never regretted that kiss for a single second.  It was the best damn decision I ever made, and I’m not interested in another life where I was too fucking scared to make it.  Does that answer your question?”  His voice is rough with emotion, but his features soften a little as he turns his face down toward the bed, obviously exhausted by this whole conversation.

 

Timmy’s too overcome with guilt and anguish to actually make sound come out of his mouth, but he manages to nod his head vigorously enough so that Armie sees it even with his eyes trained on the mattress beneath him.

 

Armie clears his throat, but when he speaks again, it’s barely a whisper.  “Do you?  Regret it?”  He still doesn’t lift his eyes, and Timmy’s heart breaks into a thousand tiny pieces at the thought that Armie could _ever_ think he regretted being with him.

 

“No!  God Armie, no!  Never!”  He grabs Armie’s chin in his hand and tilts it up, forcing Armie to look at him again.  “Being with you is all I’ve ever wanted, and any life without you in it isn’t one I want to live in, either.  I swear.”

 

Timmy can see the hint of wetness beginning to form at the corners of Armie’s eyes, and he hates himself for being the one to make that happen.  Armie searches Timmy’s eyes with his own.  “Then why are you asking about this?  What’s this bullshit about parallel lives where we aren’t together?  I mean, shit Tim, we’ve been married almost a year, where’s all this coming from?”

 

Now it’s Timmy’s turn to cast his eyes down, not sure what to say to that.  He obviously can’t tell Armie the whole truth right now, not when he looks so broken and sad.  He can’t stand to see Armie in pain, and he definitely can’t stand being the one to cause it.  He drags his eyes back to meet Armie’s again.  “I don’t…look, I’m so sorry.  It’s nothing, really.  It was just a stupid random thought I had.  I didn’t mean to make you upset, I promise.  I love you.”  He brings his hand up to cup Armie’s face, his thumb stroking his cheek soothingly.

 

Armie closes his eyes and gives a small nod.  “I love you, too.  So fucking much.” 

 

Timmy can’t take it anymore, and he closes the gap between them and kisses Armie with everything he has.  Armie immediately reciprocates, and soon Timmy finds himself with his back flat against the mattress, pinned under Armie’s solid weight as they continue to devour each other hungrily.

 

After several minutes of their heated make out session, Armie finally breaks away so they can catch their breath.  “This… _this_ is the only world I care about.”  He pants against Timmy’s mouth.  “The one where I get to spend every day loving you.”

 

“Me too.”  Timmy’s surprised at just how true the words are when they leave his lips, a whispered promise passing from his body to Armie’s as they continue to share breath.  Armie’s right, all the other shit doesn’t matter if they can’t have this.  Maybe that’s what he needed to learn, maybe that’s the whole point of why he was put here.  To finally understand the things that really matter.

 

As his breathing starts to return to normal, he can’t help but wonder about how everything unfolded between them that first night.  “Armie?  Will you tell me, about our first kiss?”  He knows it’s risky to ask about this, but he so desperately wants to know how and why it all happened.  He has a feeling Armie will be the only one with these particular details, so he has to try.

 

Armie blinks open his eyes and peers down at him with a confused look.  “What do you mean, tell you about it?  You were there, goof.”  He gives a lopsided smile, clearly still confused but also amused at Timmy’s request.

 

Timmy tries his best to play it off.  “I know that.”  He gives his best exasperated eyeroll.  “Just humor me.  I want to hear it from you, how you felt about it.”  He truly hopes Armie will take the bait, because otherwise he’ll never know about one of the most important moments in their lives.  “Please?” he adds for good measure, unleashing his patented puppy eyes on him.

 

“Oh, now you’re just playing dirty!”  Armie breathes a laugh and returns his eyeroll affectionately, rolling off him and onto his back to get more comfortable.  “ _Fine_ , if you insist.  Dork.”  He smirks and ruffles a hand through Timmy’s hair before motioning for him to come closer and lay on him.

 

Timmy doesn’t hesitate to scoot over so he’s draped over Armie’s long body, his head resting casually above Armie’s left peck.  He starts absentmindedly playing with the drawstring of Armie’s sweatpants as he waits for Armie to begin talking.

 

He feels Armie draw in a slow breath as he begins his story.  “It was the night of our first day of filming.  Everyone had gone to Luca’s for dinner to celebrate, and he made that amazing Osso Buco.  Remember that?  Fuck, it was so good.  We need to get him to make that again next time we go visit him.”

 

Timmy actually did remember that.  He remembers everything about that night vividly.  He’d been so keyed up from getting the first day of shooting completed without any major issues, minus a touch of rain they were able to work around, and Armie was right, that meal had been incredible.  Then he and Armie had gone back to Armie’s apartment and…

 

“So after dinner we went back to my place, because I had weed.  You were so wired, I figured you’d never get to sleep if you didn’t chill out a bit.  We smoked a joint together, our first, and you were…fuck, you were so gorgeous.  You ended up dancing to no music at 3 in the morning in front of the open window in my bedroom, swaying your hips back and forth and raising your hands above your head like it was the most natural thing in the world.  I remember just watching you from the bed, completely mesmerized by this incredible kid who’d blown into my life and turned everything on its side.  And when you turned back from the window to look at me, eyes sparkling and a smile on your face so big it looked like it hurt, all I knew was that if I didn’t kiss you in that moment, I would regret it forever.  So I went over to you and put my hands on your hips to stop them from swaying, and I leaned in and kissed you.  Part of me was scared I’d crossed a line, especially with you being so young then, but when you started kissing me back and walking me backwards toward the bed, I knew you must be just as into it as I was.  But when we got to the bed, you faceplanted onto the mattress and promptly passed out.” 

 

Armie chuckles as he recalls the memory, and Timmy realizes he’d been holding his breath through Armie’s entire story.  He exhales heavily and joins Armie in his laughter, reluctantly admitting to himself that it’s totally something he would do.

 

He remembers smoking the joint and dancing in Armie’s room, but when he’d turned back, _his_ Armie hadn’t moved from the bed.  He’d stayed sitting there, glancing away quickly when Timmy had begun swaying his hips in a sensual motion.  His Armie had waited until he stopped dancing and came over to join him on the bed.  But Armie never let on that he was ever feeling anything other than platonic toward him.  In fact, he distinctly remembers feeling a rather intense ‘protective big brother’ vibe coming from him, so he figured that the not-so-friendly feelings he’d already started to have toward Armie were not returned and he shouldn’t ever expect anything to happen between them.  Armie had insisted he stay the night so he could make sure he was ok.  He’d taken the floor and let Timmy have the bed, and in the morning, they’d acted completely normal toward each other and went to set to start filming day two. 

 

Thinking about it now, he’s amazed at how one seemingly small decision ended up changing his life so drastically in this world compared to his own.  “So what did you do after I passed out on your bed?”

 

One of Armie’s hands finds its way into his curls and starts threading through them softly, causing Timmy to lean up into the touch.  “I pulled a blanket over you and sat at the chair by my desk.  I stayed up all night just watching you sleep.  I think I already realized I was pretty far gone for you, I just didn’t know what to do about it.  I was married, and you were still so new to all of this.  I didn’t want to jeopardize the movie, but I knew the feelings I was having weren’t going to go away.  I’d never felt a stronger, more immediate pull toward anyone in my life.”

 

Timmy’s heart stutters in his chest.  He didn’t know it was possible to fall more in love with Armie than he already was, but he’s pretty sure he just did.

 

Armie’s fingers start scratching his scalp lightly.  “So does that satisfy your curiosity for my side of the story?”  Armie’s voice is light and teasing.  

 

Timmy wonders if he might be able to push things just a bit more without raising too many suspicions.  He smiles and tries to sound casual.  “Hmmm, almost.  But I want to hear about our first time, too.”

 

Armie snorts and stalls his hand in Timmy’s hair.  “You’re kidding, right?”

 

Timmy just shrugs and turns his face into Armie’s chest, pressing a kiss into the smooth skin right below the smattering of hair covering his upper chest.

 

Armie resumes massaging Timmy’s scalp, and Timmy knows he’s won.  “Jesus, you’re really leaning into this trip down memory lane thing tonight, aren’t you?”  Timmy nods into him and Armie snorts again.  “You’re ridiculous.”  Timmy hears the overflowing affection in his tone, and it spreads warmth through his whole body.

 

“It was 3 days after I first kissed you.  We hadn’t talked about it since it happened, both of us trying to act like nothing out of the ordinary was going on.  We’d been trying to shoot the volleyball scene all day, but it wouldn’t stop raining.  We shot all the inside scenes for the day first, but when the rain still wouldn’t let up, Luca told everyone to go home early.”

 

“We went back to your place that time.  After spending half an hour goofing off in your kitchen talking about absolutely nothing, you finally pulled me by my shirt into your bedroom and shoved me onto the bed.  I was caught off guard but didn’t try to leave.  You climbed on top of me and ran your hands across my shirt, slowly starting to unbutton it.  You told me if I wanted you to stop, I should just say so.  I didn’t want that, so I kept quiet, and when you finally finished undressing both of us, my only thought was how grateful I was you’d gotten fed up with our dancing around each other and forced the issue.”

 

“You laid back on the bed and waited for me to make the next move.  Before that moment, I thought if we ever crossed that line, you’d be nervous.  Hell, that _I’d_ be nervous.  But you were so calm.  I remember thinking how surprised I was by that.  You’re usually so naturally anxious, and you were clearly still pretty inexperienced, but there you were, lying there with complete confidence, waiting patiently for me to do what we both so obviously wanted.  It made taking that final step seem so easy, so natural.  And when I slid into you that first time… _fuck_ , Timmy, it was so amazing.  It felt like coming home.  Like I had never known where I truly belonged until the moment I was inside you.”

 

Timmy feels Armie lean his head down to press a kiss into his hair, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut tightly to keep the moisture that had been pooling in them from falling onto Armie’s skin beneath him.  The way Armie describes their first time…it sounds like it was heaven.  He only wishes he could have experienced it himself.  Maybe he still can.

 

Once he’s forced the tears away, he slowly raises his head to look deep into Armie’s eyes.  “Show me.”

 

Armie’s forehead creases in confusion.  “What?”

 

“Make love to me, just like the first time.  I want to remember it the way you do.  Make me feel it through your eyes.”  His voice is calm but completely serious.  He rolls off of Armie and onto his back once more.  He turns his head to look back at Armie again, seeing the hesitation cross his face.  He reaches out to tangle his fingers in Armie’s for a minute.  “ _Please_.”  It’s a plea, a prayer, one that only Armie has the power to answer.

 

Armie shifts so that he’s hovering over Timmy’s supine form.  He searches Timmy’s eyes with his own, his face the picture of awe and adoration.  “This is really what you want?”

 

Timmy lets out a slow breath as he nods.  “Yes,” he breathes into the space between them, bringing a hand up to caress Armie’s face as he looks down over him.

 

Armie closes his eyes and turns his face into Timmy’s touch, nuzzling his hand softly.  “God, what did I ever do to deserve you?”  Timmy doesn’t reply, just offers him a sweet smile.  Armie returns it with one of his own.  He wraps his own hand around Timmy’s still on his face and brings it to his mouth in a gentle kiss.  “Well, if memory serves, I _do_ still owe you a night of whatever you want.”

 

Armie leans down and presses a tender kiss on Timmy’s temple, and when he pulls back, he starts running his hand up and down Timmy’s t-shirt.  It didn’t have any buttons on it, but Timmy’s pretty sure if it did, he would be slowly undoing them at this very moment.  Instead, Armie slowly pushes the fabric up from his belly to his chest, uncovering more and more skin as he moves his hand up along Timmy’s torso.  He bends down to kiss each new inch of milky smoothness he discovers, his scratchy stubble tickling Timmy in the process and making him giggle quietly.  Timmy tries not to squirm away, holding his breath as Armie continues to move his mouth up his body so lovingly.  When the shirt is bunched up under Timmy’s armpits, Armie wraps an arm under him and moves him up enough so that he can pull the shirt over his head and off completely.

 

When he’s flat against the mattress once more, Armie smiles teasingly at him.  “If you want me to stop, just say so.”  Armie winks, and Timmy lets out a surprised laugh.

 

“Wait, isn’t that _my_ line?”  He’s already breathless with anticipation, but he loves Armie’s playful instincts in the moment.

 

Armie gives a casual shrug, smirk still on his face.  “I figured I’d switch it up a bit.  Keep things interesting.”  He doesn’t wait for Timmy’s reply before moving further down his body to slide Timmy’s pants over his hips and down his legs.  Timmy hears the soft thud they make as they hit the floor somewhere behind Armie.

 

He begins to shiver slightly when Armie gives his legs the same treatment he did his upper body, sliding his mouth up each one slowly, pressing soft kisses into the sensitive flesh.  He can’t help but notice that he completely ignores his already half-hard cock, but he figures there’s plenty of time for that later.  Right now he’s relishing the way Armie is sucking at his hip softly, using a hint of teeth for an extra bit of sensation.  He bites his lower lip and arches his back as the combination of pleasure and just a tiny trace of pain courses through his body.

 

When Armie releases him from his mouth and pulls off, Timmy raises his head up to look at him.  He sees Armie roll of the bed and quickly pull off his own pants before returning a few seconds later to lay his now fully naked body over Timmy.

 

When Armie begins kissing and licking down his neck, nibbling the area just below his Adam’s apple, he can’t stop the small whimpering sounds that escape his throat.  “I never want you to stop.”  He’d meant for it to come out in the same light tone Armie had used earlier, but it ends up sounding more like a desperate plea.  When he stops to think about it, he supposes that’s what it really is. 

 

Armie detaches himself from Timmy’s neck and lifts his head to look at him, a gentle smile on his face.  “Good, because I don’t plan to anytime soon.”

 

At that, Timmy surges up to catch Armie’s lips in a searing kiss, arching his hips up into Armie’s and moaning into Armie’s open mouth when their cocks rub together in delicious friction.  He feels Armie’s answering roll of his own hips and he lets out a quiet, “Fuck!”

 

Armie chuckles into their kiss and moves one hand down to trace his fingertips along Timmy’s side and down the outside of his thigh, causing goosebumps to break out over Timmy’s skin.  He gently slides his hand under the back of Timmy’s knee and lifts it up and out to the side, giving himself more room to settle between Timmy’s now spread legs.

 

Armie takes his time preparing him, working him open slowly and carefully, making sure to maximize his pleasure by finding his prostate and giving it a bit of extra attention before removing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of his cock.

 

By the time Armie finally pushes into him - one of Timmy’s legs bent over Armie’s shoulder and the other wrapped around his hip, the fingers of one hand tangled in Armie’s on the mattress by his head - Timmy is so far gone he can barely think straight.  But when he feels Armie’s hips seated flush against his own, Armie filling him so completely that he feels like he might burst, he understands exactly what Armie meant when he said this was like coming home.  _This_ is where he wants to be for the rest of his life.

 

They end up making love twice that night, their bodies tangled up in each other until well into the early morning hours.  And when they finally collapse onto the bed, sweaty and sated, Timmy can’t even remember what it feels like _not_ to have all 5 of his senses completely flooded with 100% pure _Armie_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will begin really moving the plot forward more where we go into a bit of a short time jump as Timmy finally settles into a rhythm of his life in this AU and tries to figure out how to make the best of his less-than-stellar career options. :D
> 
> Come play with me in the comments if you are so inclined! <333


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know how I said I was really excited about the last chapter? Well, I might be even MORE excited about this one, lol! Mostly because the ending scene might be my favorite Armie/Timmy moment in the entire thing so far. There's a fair bit of plot in this one, but there's some extra fluffy schmoop at the end for good measure. Enjoy! :D
> 
> All your lovely comments/kudos are wonderful and I love every single one of you! <333

Over the next week, Timmy is able to find a comfortable rhythm in this new life with Armie.  He learns that Armie works about 4 shifts a week at the restaurant, 3 days and one night shift, which is usually on Thursdays.  Though sometimes he picks up extra shifts if the other main chef there ends up calling out sick, which apparently he does quite often.  Armie doesn’t seem to mind covering for him, though.  He actually seems to really enjoy getting to work on his cooking skills and trying out new recipes.  One night he brings home a leftover plate from the restaurant, and Timmy is impressed at just how delicious it is.  He knew Armie liked to cook, but he had clearly underestimated his talents back in his world.

 

He has several auditions set up on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of that week, and though he tries to go in with a positive attitude and give them all he’s got, seeing how easily the casting agents dismiss him for parts that are little more than glorified extras to begin with starts to grate on him by the time he walks out of the last one, a firm “no” already ringing in his ears.  He’s capable of so much more than these bit parts.  Acting is the one thing he actually _knows_ he’s good at, but it seems no one is willing to give him a chance to prove it right now.  It’s incredibly frustrating, to say the least.

 

Armie proves to be a great distraction from the rather depressing career opportunities he’s got going right now, and he takes full advantage of this newfound marital status by initiating sex with him whenever possible.  Armie, for his part, is always game and enthusiastic, if maybe a bit amused by Timmy’s seemingly sudden need for almost constant sex. 

 

One night, Armie teases him and asks him if he’s suddenly come into a stash of Viagra that Armie doesn’t know about, but Timmy simply responds by grinding down on Armie hard as he straddles him in his desk chair and shoves his tongue deep into Armie’s mouth, effectively shutting him up.  Timmy fucks himself hard on Armie’s cock, head thrown back in ecstasy, as Armie grips his slim waist tightly to keep him from falling off, leaving dark purple finger marks on his pale skin that make Timmy instantly hard again when he notices them in the mirror a few hours later.

 

When they’re not having sex, they find other, quieter way to enjoy each other’s company.  Timmy learns that Armie likes to go on a run early in the morning, usually before Timmy has any interest in being awake.  And when he gets back, he makes them both breakfast and they sit with their feet tucked against each other under the table while they eat.  Then they’ll spend a while curled up on the couch together usually scrolling through their phones before Armie leaves for the restaurant or Timmy goes off to an audition. 

 

Timmy’s still surprised by how comfortable and settled they seem to be in this life together.  It’s a comforting feeling to know that Armie is always there with him, not because he has to be for work, but because he chose this life with him and is content with the simple pleasures they enjoy with each other. 

 

But he can’t stop the unease he feels that this whole thing is only temporary for him.  He knows this isn’t where he belongs for real, and every morning as he wakes up, for the half-second it takes before he opens his eyes, he’s convinced that he’ll find himself back in his own bed in New York, alone.  And every day he blinks open his eyes and still sees Armie’s peacefully sleeping form next to him, his breath catches in his throat as his gut rolls with a mixture of relief and fear. 

 

He still has no idea why or how he ended up in this world, or if there is something he needs to do here in order to get back to his own life.  Part of him doesn’t want to look too hard for the answers, because that would mean potentially having to give up being with this Armie, just as he was starting to get used to having him in this intimate way.  He figures if he was supposed to be trying to get back to his other life, whoever or whatever put him here would give him some sort of sign.  And each day that passes without any kind of hint as to why this happened, he starts to think maybe there isn’t ever going to be one.  When he wakes up that Friday – a week since he first found himself in this other life – and feels Armie’s arms still wrapped tightly around him, he decides to stop worrying about it and just enjoy the fact that he is able to experience this life where he and Armie are together and happy, and that’s all that really matters.  He can figure the rest out later.

 

He has a lunch meeting with Brian that day, and he can’t help but be relieved that at least some aspects of his other life seem to still be intact.  He still has an agent, one he knows and trusts, and that goes a long way toward giving Timmy some hope for his future in acting.

 

They meet at a small café a few blocks from his house and sit outside, enjoying the cool March air.  Brian hugs him when he arrives, and Timmy can’t help the wide smile that spreads on his face.  He and Brian go back several years, and he’d been so helpful to him early in his career, so if anyone could help him get out of this crazy rut he found himself in now, it was him.

 

“It’s good to see you, kid!  How’re things?”  Brian’s jovial voice helps ease a bit of the anxiety he’d been experiencing over having this conversation.  He knows Brian is on his side and will want to fix things.

 

“Well, to be honest, not great.”  He ducks his head and scratches the back of his neck nervously.  He hates complaining about things, he’s generally just grateful for having any kind of career at all, but the parts he’s up for right now aren’t even really _acting_ , and all he wants is a chance to get back to that, no matter how small the role.  Just _something_ to allow him to do what he feels he’s meant to do.

 

“What, why?  Is everything ok with Armie?”  Brian’s voice immediately lowers with concern as he leans further into the table.

 

“Huh?  Yeah, no everything is fine with us.  It’s really amazing, actually.”  He can’t stop the little smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth as he thinks about just _how_ great he and Armie are right now.  He shakes his head to clear away the thought, getting back down to the real reason he’s here.  “No, I meant these auditions I’m going on.  I mean, come on, Brian, there has to be something better than…this!”  He produces a stack of pages from the bag at his feet.  They’re the audition pages for the roles he went in for that week, none of them more than one page long, most of them only have one or two lines each.

 

Brian heaves a long sigh.  “Yeah, I know the stuff this week was kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel, I’m sorry about that.  Sometimes the roles just aren’t out there.  But remember you went in for that six-episode guest arc on Grey’s Anatomy a few weeks ago.  So it’s not like this is the only stuff you ever get.”

 

Timmy’s ears perk up at that.  Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as he thought.  He normally wouldn’t be thrilled about being on a nighttime soap, but he’s certainly not going to be picky right now.  That show has been on forever and still has a great audience base.  And it’s a thousand times better than the shit he went in for this week.  “So did I get it?”  He tries to keep the desperate hope out of his voice, but he’s not sure he entirely succeeds.

 

Another long sigh from Brian as he looks down at the table.  “Uh, no, you didn’t.”  He can hear the apology in Brian’s voice, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.  His heart sinks a bit and he slumps back in his chair.

 

“Ok, so what can I do here?  I mean, I know shit got a little crazy before, but you’re telling me I’m going to keep getting overlooked for roles forever because I dared to fall in love with a married guy?  Like that shit doesn’t happen every fucking day in Hollywood?!”  He didn’t expect to get so upset, but he can’t stop the tinge of anger and frustration from slipping into his tone as he speaks.

 

He can tell Brian is a little taken aback at his outburst, like maybe the Timmy of this world hadn’t ever bothered to get this upset about the whole situation because he had never gotten to experience the other side of things to truly understand what he lost out on. 

 

“I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this, Timmy.  I truly am.  I never wanted this to happen, and that’s why I tried to –“  He cuts himself off, and Timmy quirks his head, wondering what that was about.  “It doesn’t matter now, it’s in the past.  All we can do now is try to move forward and make the best of the situation.  Keep showing them you’re not going to give up, that you’re going to keep auditioning, no matter what the part, and giving it your all.  Hopefully one day things will turn around in your favor and you’ll get an amazing role that will showcase your raw talent and put all this ugliness behind you for good.”

 

Just then the waitress comes over to take their order.  He just orders a coffee, having lost his appetite at the rather disappointing turn the conversation had taken.  Brian orders a club sandwich and a cup of tea.  Once the waitress leaves again, he looks down at his hands, folded together in front of him on the table.  “So there’s nothing else you can do?”  He doesn’t want to seem ungrateful, but he’d been hoping for a bit more than just a ‘keep at it’ speech from Brian.

 

“Look, Timmy, I promise you I have all my feelers out and am doing my best to throw every possible opportunity your way.  I know you’re still new to this, but unfortunately, this is the sad reality of Hollywood.  It’s vicious, and one small misstep can make or break you.  And well, yours wasn’t so small.” 

 

Timmy’s head snaps up at that.  He can see what almost looks like guilt cross Brian’s face.  He’s about to respond when Brian continues.  “Look, I know you have to be here in L.A. full time for Armie.”  He pauses for a second, and there’s that look again.  “But if you are really serious about getting better roles, I might be able to pull some strings back in New York and get you a semi-decent role in an off-Broadway show or something.  Probably not a lead or anything, but I have a lot more pull over there than I do here, and a few people that owe me favors.  It’s something I can look into, if you want.”

 

Timmy gapes at him in silence for a minute.  Brian was obviously aware of the situation with Armie’s kids and knows Armie has to remain here in order to see them, which is clearly why Timmy moved from New York to be with him here.  But technically nothing is holding Timmy back from leaving for a short time to go shoot something or be in a show.  He considers Brian’s words, tries to weigh his desire to act against the thought of potentially being away from Armie for weeks or months at a time if he was cast in a show.

 

In the end, it’s no contest.  There’s no way he’d risk being so far away from Armie for so long now, even if their relationship was solid and he didn’t have to worry about the distance hurting them.  He just started getting used to being with him every day, and while he desperately wants a role he can sink his teeth into, it’s not enough to make him fly across the country for God knows how long, especially when he doesn’t know when/if he’ll be transported back to his other life.

 

After a long minute of consideration, he clears his throat.  “Uh, thank you for the suggestion, but I can’t.  I’m sorry, I just…I can’t.”  He turns his eyes back down to the table.

 

“It’s ok, Timmy, I figured that would be your answer.  I understand why it would be hard for you.  I just thought I should throw it out there.  If you ever change your mind or your…situation…changes, just remember the offer stands.  It’s totally up to you if you want to explore it.”

 

Timmy nods, eyes still trained on his clasped hands, his fingers starting to turn white from his tight grip.  “Thank you.” 

 

He turns his head to look out at the street in front of the café.  He hates the fact that he has to choose either Armie or his career.  Obviously Armie will always win, no matter what world he’s in, but it’s not fair that he can’t just be happy with him without risking everything else.  He’s well aware that this whole scandal was far less about the fact that they’d had an affair – that’s so common in Hollywood it’s hardly newsworthy anymore – and more to do with the fact that they were both men.  He was raised to be accepting and understanding of people from all types of backgrounds.  He doesn’t understand how Hollywood, a place that’s supposed to nurture creativity and self-expression, became one of the most closed-minded communities of them all.

 

“You’re not going to try to fire me again, are you?”  Brian’s low voice wafts over to him and he’s so far in his head he hardly even hears him.

 

He turns back to look at Brian, who has a concerned look on his face.  It takes him another minute to register what he’d actually said.  When it finally hits him, he has no idea how to respond.  “What?  No, of course not!  Why would I -?”

 

Brian cuts him off, talking quickly, like he was nervous.  “I know things haven’t always been great between us, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that Luca was able to talk you out of it the last time.  You’re honestly one of my most naturally talented clients, and I’ve always seen you as more of a son than just another actor I represent.  I wish things had turned out differently for you, because I know how far you could’ve gone if everything hadn’t…well, it doesn’t matter.”

 

Timmy has no idea what he’s talking about, so he just stares at him with his mouth slightly open and tries to make sense of what Brian’s saying.  “I know we don’t really talk about it, but I do want to say how sorry I am, for everything that happened back when everything blew up.  I never meant to imply that Armie wasn’t a good guy or that you wouldn’t be happy together.  I just had a feeling this was going to happen, and I wanted to protect you from it if I could.  But, you were right to choose love.  God knows I did, and I’ve never looked back.  But my sexuality doesn’t prevent me from doing what I love, so I know it’s not the same.  I’m very glad you two have found a way to make a life for yourselves despite everything.  I just…I wanted you to know that.”  The overwhelming sincerity in his voice and in his eyes catches Timmy a bit off guard.

 

He can’t believe what he’s hearing.  So even Brian had been against him being with Armie at the beginning, and this world’s Timmy had apparently been so adamant about what he wanted that he’d almost fired him over it?!  He’s starting to understand just how hard he and Armie fought to be together with so many people trying to convince them it wasn’t worth it.

 

But clearly Brian had come around at some point, and it sounds like Luca had been the one to calm the other Timmy down enough to not actually go through with firing him.  He takes that for a win, at least.  “It’s ok, Brian.  It’s in the past, and we got through it, right?  Let’s just focus on trying to get me something a bit more substantial than this drivel.”  He points to the audition papers still on the table in front of him.

 

Brian sighs in relief and smiles at him.  “You got it, kid.  I’ve got a few things I’m working on that I think could potentially lead somewhere exciting for you.  As soon as I have more details, I’ll let you know.  Just hang in there for now and try not to get too discouraged.  I fly back to New York on Sunday, but I’ll be back out here in another couple weeks for some more meetings.  We’ll get together again and see where things are, ok?”

 

Timmy lets out a long breath and nods.  “Yeah, ok, sounds good.  Thanks, Brian.  I know you’re doing your best.  Sorry if I was a bit short with you earlier.”  He gives his best apologetic smile.

 

“It’s all right.  I totally understand your frustration.  I’m frustrated for you, too.  Believe me, if I was a casting agent, you’d be in every project I was a part of.  But unfortunately, I don’t get to make those decisions.  I can only try to get you into the room, the rest is out of my hands.”

 

“I know.  I appreciate all you’ve done for me over the years.  Truly.  You’ve been an amazing agent.  I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in the first place without you.  I probably wouldn’t have even met Armie if you and Peter hadn’t talked to Luca.  So really, I owe you everything.”  Timmy raises his coffee cup, which the waitress had dropped off a minute earlier, in a salute.

 

Brian also raises his cup of tea and they clink them together.  “It’s been my pleasure, Timmy.  And despite this hiccup, I know you’re going to set the world on fire someday.”

 

He and Brian sit and talk for another hour, just catching up with each other’s lives outside of the business.  He doesn’t give too many details about him and Armie, since he’s only been in this world a week, but he tells him about the fun they had in Austin and tries to talk about how Armie’s doing with the restaurant.

 

After he finishes his second cup of tea, Brian excuses himself in order to make another meeting across town.  Timmy stays at the café for another long while, just thinking over everything that Brian had said.  He wants to remain positive and trust that Brian will find him something great, but he can’t stop the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that maybe this is just the price he has to pay in this world to be with Armie, and he should just come to terms with it.

 

By the time he finally makes it back to the house, it’s almost five.  He finds Armie in the study, typing something up on the computer.  He leans against the doorframe for a minute and just watches him.  Armie’s got his reading glasses on, and Timmy has always found them incredibly sexy on him.  Normally he’d be ready to jump his bones in a heartbeat, but tonight he’s just so exhausted by everything, he’s not sure he has it in him.  The thought depresses him beyond all reason.

 

“Hey.”  His soft voice calls out to Armie to let him know he’s there.

 

Armie quickly spins around in his chair and a huge smile spreads across his face.  “Hey!  How’d it go?”

 

Timmy stays still in the doorway, not able to find the energy to move just yet.  “Not as good as I was hoping.”  He sighs and looks off into the corner of the room.

 

Armie takes his glasses off, setting them on the desk, and is up and crossing the room in seconds, pulling him into a tight embrace.  “I’m so sorry, babe.  I know things have been really tough for you lately.”  He rubs his large hands up and down Timmy’s back in a soothing motion.

 

Timmy has been able to keep his emotions in check until that point, but as soon as he’s wrapped up in Armie’s arms, his face pressed tightly against the firm muscles of his chest, he lets all the tension he’s been accumulating throughout the week out and begins to cry quietly.

 

When Armie hears the first soft sniffle, he squeezes him even tighter and begins whispering words of comfort into his hair while he continues to stroke his back and arms.  Timmy grasps onto the back of his t-shirt with all his strength as he lets himself melt into Armie’s touch.

 

When he’s finally able to compose himself a bit more, he finally pries himself out of Armie’s grip and looks up at him.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break down like that.  I guess this whole thing is just starting to get to me.  I wish we didn’t have to pay so dearly for loving each other.  The whole thing isn’t fair.”

 

Armie brings one hand up to smooth back his messy curls and cups his face with the other.  “You have nothing to apologize for.  Believe me, I know how much this hurts.  I wish I could make it better for you.”  Timmy can see the pain reflected in Armie’s eyes, as well.  He isn’t the only one who was affected by all this.  Armie lost even more than he did.

 

“I know.  And I love you for that.  I dunno, maybe I should just cut my losses and find a new career.  One that will celebrate me for who I am, not punish me for it.”

 

Armie studies him without saying anything for several seconds.  Timmy’s not sure what he’s looking for, but after a while he finally speaks.  “Ok, I know what you need.  Come with me.”

 

Suddenly he’s being pulled toward the front door.  He doesn’t know what Armie’s planning, but he really doesn’t feel like going back out again today.  He stops walking just before they reach the door and takes his hand out of Armie’s grip.  “Armie, I’m so tired.  Whatever it is, can we just do it tomorrow?”  He hates that he sounds so whiny, but he’s just really not in the mood right now.

 

“Nope, we’re going.  I promise you’ll thank me later.  Come on, don’t make me carry you to the car.” 

 

Timmy’s a little taken aback at Armie’s sudden insistence, especially when Armie glares at him and takes a step in his direction, letting him know he means business.  He’s not in the mood for a full-on fight, so he decides going along with it will just be easier.  “Ok, _fine_.  Whatever.”  He huffs and practically stomps out the door and to the car.

 

He doesn’t say anything the entire car ride, and thankfully neither does Armie.  He has no idea where they’re going, he just knows he’s annoyed that he’s not currently curled up on his couch eating ice cream and watching dumb movies like he’d been planning since he left the café.

 

When Armie turns onto the road that leads up Mt. Lee to the hiking trails going up to the Hollywood sign, he gives him a sideways glance.  Armie’s face remains completely calm, like this isn’t out of the ordinary for them at all.  He wonders what on earth he’s up to.

 

Armie parks at the furthest point cars are allowed and gets out of the car.  Timmy still doesn’t know what’s going on, but he’s less than amused that Armie’s surprise apparently requires physical activity, which sounds like a cruel sort of torture to him right now.  “Seriously, you want to go hiking right now?  Armie, I’m fucking exhausted.  Can we please just go home?”  He stays seated in the car to emphasis his point.

 

Armie comes around to his side of the car and opens the door.  “Get your lazy ass out of the car, Chalamet, this is for your own good.”  He reaches over and undoes Timmy’s seatbelt, then tugs on his arms until Timmy finally relents and climbs out of their SUV.

 

They end up taking one of the hiking trails that leads up and behind the Hollywood sign.  It takes them close to an hour, and by the time they reach the top, Timmy is half-seriously considering mariticide.  He’s sweaty and his entire body aches, and he’s been whining non-stop for the last half-hour, which Armie has resolutely ignored as he continues to lead them further along the trail.

 

Just before they turn the corner for the full view of the sign, Timmy trips on a fallen tree branch and goes down hard.  “Fuck!”  He screams out of pain and frustration, wanting whatever this insane experiment is to be over so he can take a nice, hot bath and forget this day ever happened.

 

Armie comes over to him and bends down to check out the damage.  Luckily, he didn’t cut himself, he mostly just aches from the impact of hitting the ground.  “Are you ok?”  At least Armie has the decency to sound like he’s genuinely concerned, even if he is the one who dragged their asses up this stupid mountain in the first place.

 

“No!”  Timmy cries out incredulously.  “I’m fucking tired and sore and I want to go home!  What the hell are we doing up here, Armie?!”  He’s about five seconds away from having a total meltdown, and he’d rather not have it in a public place.

 

For the first time since they left the house, Armie’s expression softens and he looks like he might cry himself.  “Please, just trust me.  We’re almost there.”  He reaches out a hand to help Timmy up, and after Timmy eyes him suspiciously for a few seconds, he reluctantly grabs it and pulls himself to his feet.

 

“You’re gonna owe me like a million blowjobs after this,” he grumbles, and Armie lets out a barking laugh.

 

“Whatever you say, babe.”  He wraps an arm around Timmy’s waist as they walk the last few yards to their destination.

 

When they finally round the corner and the sprawling view of Los Angeles comes into his full view, he actually gasps and stops dead in his tracks.  He remembers his Armie bringing him up here once when he was staying with them during the filming of Beautiful Boy.  He’d been so frail after losing so much weight that Armie had practically had to carry him part of the way. 

 

He knows he’s seen this same view of the city before, but for some reason he doesn’t remember it taking his breath away quite like it is now.  Maybe it’s the way the sun is dipping low in the sky, casting a reddish glow over the whole city.  It’s nothing short of stunning.  “Wow.”  He breathes it so quietly he’s not sure Armie heard him until several seconds later when he finally answers.

 

“I told you it would be worth it.”  He’s smiling, but he isn’t gloating or smug.  He just seems genuinely happy to share this with him.

 

“Yeah.”  His voice is filled with awe, and he takes several steps forward to get a better look.

 

Armie comes up behind him a minute later and winds his arms around his stomach, leaning down and pressing a kiss against the side of his head.  “Do you remember the first time you brought me up here?”

 

He doesn’t, so he just stays quiet, hoping Armie will fill him in on that particular anecdote.  After a few seconds, Armie grants his wish.  “It was the first week you’d moved to L.A. after everything happened.  You said if you were going to live in this crazy town, you wanted to see it from its best angle.”

 

Timmy can’t help but smile – that does sound like something he would say.  “Well, it’s certainly the best one I’ve seen so far.”

 

“And do you remember what else you said?”  Armie’s breath tickles the side of his face as he speaks, his lips ghosting over his ear.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You said seeing it like this, it gave you a sense of perspective about everything.  Seeing things from a different point of view made you feel like, even though you knew your path wasn’t going to be as easy or as straightforward as you’d hoped, that it really didn’t matter.  It wasn’t about money or fame or any of the other bullshit that Hollywood promises you then takes away the instant you inevitably tumble from their unrealistic pedestal.  It was just about being true to yourself and doing what made you feel alive.  That you were helping to tell important stories and making a difference in the world with your art, no matter how small the role.”

 

Armie pauses, moves to stand by Timmy’s side, his arms still encircling his waist.  “I know right now you feel like what you’re being offered doesn’t mean anything.  And maybe you’re right.  Maybe it’s a steaming pile of shit that isn’t worth your time or effort.  And if you wake up one day and decide that you’re over it and you want to walk away, I’ll support you, no questions asked.  But I think you’re so upset about things right now because you do still care.  Which means somewhere inside you, you truly believe it’s still the thing you want to do with your life.  So maybe you just need to see things from a different perspective to help you better figure out where to go from here.”

 

Timmy slowly tears his eyes away from the view of the city to look over at Armie, the striking features of his profile glowing like fire in the light of the setting sun.  “I love you so much.”  It’s barely a whisper, a confession of awe and wonder at this insanely beautiful man whose entire being radiates with love for _him_.  He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but damn if he isn’t thanking every star in the heavens for blessing him with the kind of love most people only dream about.

 

Armie looks over at him with the most brilliant smile on his face.  “I love you, too, baby.  You’re everything to me.” 

 

Armie leans over and gives him a gentle kiss, but Timmy is so overcome with emotion that he immediately deepens it, turning to face Armie head on and burying his hands deep in Armie’s hair and opening his mouth wide to taste all of Armie that he can.

 

They stay standing like that, kissing like one of them was going off to war, for several minutes until the lack of oxygen from both the intense kiss and the high altitude makes Timmy feel like he might faint.  He reluctantly pulls away, panting into Armie’s neck as he grips Armie’s arm tight to keep himself upright.

 

They end up sitting down in the grass, Timmy leaning back against Armie’s chest as he sits in between his open legs, and they watch as the sun disappears behind the horizon.  They don’t move until the sky is twinkling with stars overhead and Timmy begins to shiver from the cool air.

 

The walk back down to the car is far easier and takes less time than the way up, and Timmy is certainly in better spirits about it.  His hand is tightly clasped in Armie’s the whole way, and occasionally Armie will hug him to his side and rub his hands up and down his arms to create friction to keep him warm.

 

When they get back to the car, Timmy is physically worn out but blissfully happy.  Just before Armie turns on the ignition, Timmy grabs his hand in his over the middle console and turns his head to look at him.  “Thank you, Armie.  For doing this.  For forcing me to go up there.  It was exactly what I needed.”

 

Armie smiles lovingly.  “Anytime, babe.  I’m always here for you.”  He leans over and kisses Timmy’s temple, Timmy’s eyes fluttering closed as he leans ever so slightly into the press of Armie’s lips.

 

Armie has to pull his hand out of Timmy’s grasp to turn the car on, but once he gets out of the parking lot and puts the car in ‘drive’, he moves it back to where it was and once again twists his fingers in between Timmy’s.  They hold hands the entire car ride home, even after Timmy falls asleep halfway there and is snoring softly beside him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those who have been asking if Armie was ever going to notice that Timmy has been acting different...umm, well...yeah. :/
> 
> Umm, major angst warning for this one. Also : I'M SORRY! *hides*

After the night in the Hollywood hills, Timmy feels even more connected to Armie than he did before.  He didn’t think it was possible, but every moment that he’s with him in this world, his feelings for Armie amplify to the point where he’s pretty sure the only emotion he is capable of feeling anymore is pure love.  It’s intoxicating and exhilarating, and he does his best to completely shut out all the rest of the bullshit this world has thrown at them and just focuses on being in his happy love bubble with Armie.

 

But it seems his subconscious is less convinced of their eternal happiness.  When he falls asleep the following Tuesday night, Armie’s arm slung loosely around his waist and their legs tangled together under the sheets, he has a rather disturbing dream. 

 

_He and Armie are in the middle of the ocean floating together.  They’re kissing, Timmy’s legs wrapped tightly around Armie’s waist as Armie holds onto his back with one arm while the other is keeping them both afloat as it moves back and forth on the surface of the water, his feet kicking in a quick rhythm beneath them.  They’re both laughing into each other’s mouths, happy and in love._

_Then from out of nowhere, a storm appears overhead, and the waves begin thrashing around them.  Armie tries like hell to keep Timmy in his arms, Timmy tightening his legs around Armie to try to hang on, but the waves are too rough, and eventually their bodies are forced to break contact.  Before they get too far apart, Timmy desperately throws his hand out to grab onto Armie’s, and they link their fingers as tightly as they can and refuse to let go.  They cling to each other and try to ride out the worst of it._

_After a few minutes, the storm seems to dissipate, and the water begins to calm a bit.  They both heave a sigh of relief and begin to move back toward each other again.  But just before Armie can pull Timmy back into the safety of his arms, a tidal wave crashes over them and rips Armie away from Timmy’s grasp completely.  He watches in horror as Armie is dragged under the water and doesn’t resurface.  He tries to dive down and find him, but he doesn’t see him anywhere.  Timmy goes to back to the surface for air and looks around, but he’s all alone, stranded in the middle of the ocean.  Armie is gone._

 

He awakes the next morning in a cold sweat, immediately reaching his hand out for Armie, only to find a cold and empty mattress beside him.  He normally always wakes briefly as Armie is getting out of bed to go for his run, then Armie will kiss him back to sleep and wake him again once he’s showered and has breakfast ready. 

 

He’s about five seconds away from panicking when he hears the shower turn on.  He looks over at the clock and sees that it’s long after the time Armie normally goes out, and he figures since he hadn’t woken up like he usually does, Armie had probably just wanted to let him sleep.  He closes his eyes in relief and lets out the breath he was holding.  He waits until his heartbeat returns to at least mostly normal before he throws off the sheets and climbs out of bed.

 

He cracks open the door to the bathroom, and he can just make out the blurry image of Armie’s wet, naked body through the fogged-up glass of the shower door.  He watches for a few seconds, his breath hitching as he sees Armie soap up his muscular body quickly then step underneath the spray of the water to rinse it off.

 

Finally, he crosses the room and slowly opens the shower door, stepping in behind Armie in the stall.  Armie turns and wipes water out of his eyes as he smiles in surprise at him.  “Hey, I thought you were still asleep.”

 

Timmy takes a step forward so he’s crowding into Armie’s space, wanting to be as close to him as possible.  “I woke up and you weren’t there.  It was awful.”  He sees Armie’s eyes cloud over with some emotion he doesn’t wish to examine, and he doesn’t give him the chance to respond before he’s pushing Armie back against the cool glass of the shower wall and shoving his tongue deep into his throat in a needy kiss.

 

Armie’s surprised grunt morphs into a low moan as Timmy continues to ravage his mouth, and Timmy’s hand comes down to wrap around Armie’s cock, quickly stroking it to life in his tight grip.  Timmy’s already rock hard and leaking against Armie’s thigh, rutting into him softly as he continues to coax Armie’s dick to full hardness to match his own.

 

When Armie’s head rolls back and makes a soft thump against the glass, breaking their kiss, Timmy immediately attaches his mouth to Armie’s exposed neck and throat, sucking and biting the slick flesh fervently.  Armie seems rather content to let Timmy take the lead and do what he wants, leaning back into the wall and just holding on as Timmy practically attacks him with his whole body.

 

Timmy fucks into the crease of Armie’s leg and hip with more force, panting and grunting into his neck with an increasing volume.  He continues to pump Armie with his hand for a while before he moves it to splay flat on the glass next to Armie’s head, rolling his whole body into Armie so both their dicks are trapped between them, rubbing and sliding together in glorious friction.

 

When Timmy lets out a broken cry as his orgasm approaches, he feels Armie’s hands come around to the back of his head and grip his hair firmly.  Armie carefully pries him away from his neck and moves his head back so they can lock eyes.  Timmy can see the unspoken question in his eyes, the slightest hint of concern even as his pupils are blown wide with arousal.  Timmy doesn’t have the answers he’s seeking, so instead of trying to speak, he simply smashes his mouth into Armie’s hard to distract them both.

 

Armie returns the kiss, but Timmy can tell his mind is somewhere else.  But he’s too far gone to stop now, so he pushes through it and bites down hard on Armie’s lower lip, causing Armie to moan loudly into his mouth.  It’s only another few seconds before he feels the hot splash of Armie’s come as it spurts between their stomachs and smears into their wet skin.

 

He tears his mouth away from Armie’s and buries his head in Armie’s shoulder as he pushes into him hard another few times, coming between them with a shudder so violent that he almost loses his footing on the slippery tile of the shower floor, Armie’s hands coming up to grab his arms at the last second to steady him.

 

He stays panting heavily with his head smashed into Armie’s shoulder for several seconds before he slowly moves back on rubbery legs and drags his eyes up to meet Armie’s.  He finds the same expression in his eyes as before, the quiet question and concern, but Armie remains silent as they stare at each other for a long minute.

 

Finally, Timmy breaks the eye contact and turns away, bracing one arm on the shower door for balance as he takes a few shaky steps to climb out of the stall.  “I’ll let you finish your shower.  Meet you in the kitchen for breakfast.”

 

Armie doesn’t respond, so he keeps walking as quickly and confidently as he can until he reaches the bedroom, where he lets out a deep breath and tries to keep his emotions from totally consuming him.

 

He dries himself off and manages to mostly compose himself as he pulls on some clothes.  A few minutes later he hears the shower shut off, but he opts to go down to the kitchen before Armie comes out of the bathroom, needing a couple more minutes to gather his thoughts before he faces him again.

 

When Armie walks into the kitchen several minutes later, he’s quiet.  He eyes Timmy carefully and with a bit of hesitation, but Timmy gives him his best “everything’s fine” look and a wide smile to try to ease the tension as he nonchalantly sips on a glass of orange juice.  It seems to work, and by the time Armie’s done cooking and they sit down at the table to eat, things seem to be back to normal between them, Armie’s foot softly caressing his under the table as they dig into their food.

 

After breakfast, Armie says he needs to go pick something up from a friend of his, some kind of tool he needs to fix something on the door of Harper’s room.  Timmy hadn’t even noticed there was anything wrong with it, but then again, he hasn’t been able to bring himself to go in that room since that first night, so it’s not like he would’ve really had much of a chance to notice.

 

Armie’s only gone a little over an hour, but it only takes half of that time for Timmy to start to get restless about being alone again.  He can’t stop thinking about that awful dream, how happy they’d been just floating along together, then the terrible storm threatening to rip them apart, how they’d held on for dear life, and just when they thought they’d gotten through it, Armie was taken from him so suddenly and completely.  The awful image of Armie disappearing beneath the crashing waves haunts him as he paces the floor of the living room.

 

He can’t help but think it’s some sort of sign, that maybe he’d been wrong to let himself become complacent in this new life and now it’s about to be ripped away.  He’s not ready, he doesn’t know how to go back to a life where Armie is just his friend, not now, not when he’s been able to see what they _could_ be like together if only his Armie hadn’t let fear keep him from taking that step and kissing him that night.

 

But in his heart, he always knew this probably wasn’t permanent, and it breaks something inside him to think what a cruel joke it was to let him have this taste and then rip it away.  He almost wishes he’d never come to this world at all.  Ignorance truly is bliss sometimes.

 

When Armie gets back, Timmy’s lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling and focusing all his energy on drowning out the voice in his head telling him he’s about to lose all of this.  Armie must assume he’s fallen asleep or something, because he doesn’t come join him.  Instead, Timmy hears him trampling up the stairs and down the hall, presumably to get to work fixing whatever is wrong with Harper’s door.

 

Sure enough, a few minutes later he hears muffled banging and thudding noises coming from upstairs.  He aimlessly scrolls though his phone for a while until Armie comes back downstairs, slightly sweaty with a tinge of pink on his face from the physical exertion.

 

Armie grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and finally comes and sits down on the couch next to him, giving Timmy a tired smile as he leans his head back against the back of the couch as he lets himself relax.

 

Armie closes his eyes and Timmy does the same, the two of them sitting there in silence together for several minutes.  When Timmy feels gentle fingers start to card through his soft curls, his heart clenches painfully and he can’t take it anymore.

 

His eyes snap open and he turns his head to look up at Armie, whose eyes are still closed with a fond smile playing on his face as he continues to stroke Timmy’s hair soothingly.  He suddenly can’t breathe, the thought that he might not get to wake up to this man who has become his whole world in the last week and a half.  If he’s honest, Armie’s been his whole world for almost two years now, but now he knows what it feels like to have the feeling returned, and he’s determined not to lose it just yet.

 

Before he can think too hard about it, he quickly sits up and scrambles into Armie’s lap, sitting sideways across his legs as he leans up to kiss his peaceful face.  Armie’s eyes open in surprise as he looks down at him, but his arms come around Timmy’s waist as he allows himself to melt into the kiss.

 

It starts out slow and tender, but soon Timmy’s need for more becomes too intense to ignore and he begins to move his body against Armie’s with intent.  He grabs onto the sides of Armie’s face with both hands and twists himself so he slides off Armie’s lap and begins to lie back flat on the couch, pulling Armie down on top of him.

 

He breaks their kiss just long enough to breathe out a heated, “Fuck me,” against Armie’s lips before he’s diving back in to claim his mouth again.

 

Armie groans in response but is suddenly bracing his arms on the couch and pushing himself up and off of Timmy.  “Ok, that’s it.  What the fuck is going on with you?”  His face is flushed and his hair is a mess, his voice rough with clear arousal, but his eyes are deadly serious.

Timmy’s so lost in his fog of lust, it takes him a few seconds to realize what’s going on.  “What?” He’s already panting heavily, and he reaches a hand out to try and bring Armie back down to him.  When Armie catches it in his own and shoves it back down onto the couch, Timmy quirks his head in hurt and confusion.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“That’s exactly what _I’m_ trying to figure out!”  Armie’s voice is exasperated, and Timmy has a momentary flash of panic that he’s done something terribly wrong without realizing it.

 

“I…I don’t know what you mean.”  His voice wavers, coming out in a timid squeak.

 

Armie sighs and scrubs a hand over his face and into his hair as he moves himself back to sit fully upright against the couch.  Timmy follows him hesitantly, scooching himself up so he’s leaning sideways into the back cushion to face in Armie’s direction.

 

“Ok look, far be it from me to complain about the frequency of our sex life.  If you want to fuck 24/7, that’s cool, I’m there.  There’s no place I love more than being inside you.”  Timmy can’t help the blush that creeps up his face at Armie’s words, despite the fact that not 30 seconds ago he was trying to accomplish that exact goal.

 

Armie takes a deep breath and continues.  “But lately, you’ve just been acting…off.  And at first, I thought it was cute, seeing how turned on you’ve been and how you suddenly can’t seem to control yourself around me.  I’m not denying it’s hot as hell.  But the longer it goes on, and especially after whatever the _fuck_ that was this morning, I’m starting to think this sudden constant need for sex is about more than you just being young and horny.”

 

Timmy isn’t sure how to respond to that, doesn’t know how to explain the real reason he’s been all over Armie lately without making everything worse.  He knows he went overboard this morning in the shower, his desperation much more obvious than it has been so far.  He’d been so freaked out by that dream that he got a bit carried away, but he can’t tell Armie the truth about why he’d been so frantic to be with him, not now.  He tries his best to play dumb instead.  “I don’t understand, what else would it be?”

 

“I don’t -!” Armie starts to raise his voice in frustration again, then stops himself and takes another breath, continuing in a calmer tone.  “I don’t know.”  He sounds almost defeated now, and Timmy’s heart aches to hear him like this.  “All I know is that ever since we got back from Austin, you’ve been…different.  Most of the time everything is fine, but then when we’re having sex, it’s like you’re a totally different person than the Timmy who’s been sharing my bed the last year and a half.  And I just…I don’t know what’s going on.”

 

Timmy tries to choke back the tears that are threatening to spring up.  “What do you mean, what’s different?”  He tries not to sound as worried as he feels.  He can fix this.  If he knows what the issue is, he can change, and everything can go back to normal. 

 

“You’ve just been so _needy_ lately, and I can’t figure out where it’s coming from.”

 

Timmy knows _exactly_ where it’s coming from, but he doesn’t know how to tell Armie that.  He remembers the last time he tried to explain the whole parallel universe thing to him, and it had _not_ gone very well.  He’s not sure he’s ready to try again just yet, especially when Armie’s already clearly upset about how different he’s been acting.  He’s not sure telling him that he’s actually _not_ the same Timmy he married is the best idea right now. 

 

He tries for a redirect in the hope that Armie will drop it.  “Armie, you’re like fucking sex on legs, ok?  And I get the privilege of having you all to myself in bed.  Is it so unusual that I might get a little passionate when we fuck with you looking like _that_?”

 

He’s hoping his ego-stroking will help his cause, but it appears not to be the case.  Now Armie just looks annoyed, which is the exact opposite from what he was going for.  “Uh uh, don’t give me that shit.  I know you, ok?  And yeah, it’s far from unusual for you to be a bit eager and enthusiastic in bed, which you know I love and always encourage.  I’m well aware of what you look like in the throes of passion, and this…whatever’s been going on with you lately, is something entirely different.  It’s desperate and frantic, and it’s freaking me out a bit because it hasn’t been present in our relationship in a long time, not since…”  He cuts himself off, looks away with a sigh.

 

Now Timmy’s really starting to freak out, not sure exactly what he’s gotten himself into.  “Since what?”  He’s almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

Armie keeps his face turned away as he responds.  “Since Crema.  Since before Liz…”  He pauses, emotion heavy in his voice, the topic of his ex-wife outing them still clearly difficult for him to talk about.  He finally turns back and meets Timmy’s eyes.  “Since it’s been just the two of us.”

 

Timmy can’t do anything but gape at him silently, completely unprepared for that particular revelation.  He doesn’t have any idea what to say.  He’s still not entirely sure where this line of questioning is leading, but he has a strong feeling it’s nowhere good.

 

“Look, I just need to know what’s going on with you.  I know nothing’s changed with _me_ , but this has been going on since Austin.  And you completely freaked out on me the morning after your award.  Has…did something happen that night?  Is there something I need to know about?”  Armie looks down at his lap nervously.

 

For a minute Timmy thinks Armie somehow figured everything out and this is his way of getting him to confess who he really is and where he came from.  Then his eyes catch on the way Armie’s fingers are twisting together and how he’s biting his lip as he waits for Timmy to answer.  He’s clearly worried about something.  And suddenly the truth of what’s going on hits him like a freight train.  He immediately jumps off the couch to stare down at Armie in shock.

 

“Holy shit, you think I’m fucking _cheating_ on you?!”  He’s caught between sheer disbelief and complete heartbreak that Armie would _ever_ think he could be unfaithful to him.  Not in a million years would the thought even enter his head.

 

Armie stares up at him in equal amounts of alarm, clearly not expecting Timmy to react quite so strongly.  He pushes himself off the couch as well, standing to tower over Timmy as he explains his reasoning.  “I don’t fucking know _what_ to think, Timmy!  All the sudden you’re acting like you used to when we first hooked up in Crema when we were all reckless and desperate for each other – when _we_ were the ones having the affair – and I have no idea why!  It was the only thing I could think of that made any sense!”  Armie’s desperation for the truth is clear in his face and voice, the thought that Timmy might be cheating on him clearly tearing him apart.

 

Timmy sinks back to the couch with his face in his hands, suddenly feeling nauseous.  How had everything gotten so fucked up?  He doesn’t know what to do to fix this now.  Well, he can at least start with one certain truth.  “I’m not sleeping with anyone else, I swear.”  His voice comes out quiet, slightly muffled behind his hands covering his mouth, but his tone is clear and confident, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

 

He feels the cushion beside him dip as Armie sits back down as well.  He can’t bring himself to look up at him yet, though.  But then he feels a large, warm hand land softly on his knee, the thumb rubbing tiny circles into his inner thigh.  “Ok.  I believe you.”  Armie’s voice is light, much higher in pitch than usual.

 

Timmy inches his hands down just enough to uncover his eyes as he turns to peer at Armie over the tips of his fingers.  “You do?”

 

Armie sighs quietly.  He reaches up with the hand that was on Timmy’s knee and gently pries both of Timmy’s hands away from his face, bringing them down to rest in his lap.  “Of course I do.  You’re my husband, and I love you.  If you tell me you’re not having an affair, I trust you.”

 

Timmy breathes a sigh of relief and shuffles sideways so he can lean his head on Armie’s shoulder.  “But…” Armie apparently isn’t going to let this go.  “ _Something_ has been going on with you lately.  So if it’s not someone else, then what is it?  Please, just tell me the truth.” 

 

The pleading tone in Armie’s voice makes Timmy’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest.  He hates keeping this huge secret from him, but he doesn’t want to risk telling him everything right now.  It might be too much for him to handle.  But maybe he can tell him _part_ of what’s been going on.  He takes a deep breath and tries to think of the best way to explain.  “I guess…I’ve just been thinking a lot about how temporary everything is, you know?  How short our time together really is in the grand scheme of things.”

 

Armie angles his head to the side so he can look at Timmy, who still has his head resting on Armie’s shoulder.  “Ok…”  Clearly he wasn’t following what Timmy was trying to get at.

 

Timmy sighs again and shifts his head upright so he can see Armie better.  “Like, we never know how long we’re really going to have, so I’ve been feeling a bit like I need to make the most of every moment we _do_ have.”

 

He sees a concerned look cross Armie’s face.  “Babe, you know I’m not going anywhere, right?  Like I’m not ever going to leave you.  You don’t ever have to worry about that.  This is it for me, forever.”

 

He hadn’t even considered that that’s what Armie would take away from his statement.  He shakes his head to dispel the idea.  “No, of course, I know that.  I just mean that…you never know when our time might be up, and I just don’t want to waste a second with you, because I love you so fucking much.”

 

He watches as Armie takes in what he’s said, Armie’s brow furrowing as he tries to make sense of his words.  “Wait, so _that’s_ what this has all been about?  You’re afraid of one of us _dying_?  Christ, Timmy, I know you have a bit of a flair for the dramatic sometimes, but you’re barely 22, I think it’s safe to say you don’t have to worry about this shit for a while yet.”

 

God, this is harder than he thought it would be.  But he’s not sure how else to explain it.  It’s not really death he’s scared of, but in lieu of telling him the full truth of the situation, he decides to go with it.  “Maybe, but none of us know what will happen in the future.  I could walk out the door tomorrow and get hit by a bus, or you could have a heart attack, or our asinine president might blow up the entire fucking planet in a nuclear war, or any other number of things could happen.  I just don’t want to wake up one day to find you gone, only to wish I had loved you more fully when you were still here.”

 

“So then what, your solution is to have desperate goodbye sex every day, just in case one of us croaks unexpectedly?  That’s seriously fucked up, Tim.  You know that, right?” 

 

Fuck, this is not going at all like he’d hoped.  Still, he couldn’t totally dispute Armie’s point.  He realizes that it _is_ kind of fucked up and completely fatalistic, but he also knows what it’s like to live in a world where he doesn’t have _this_ , and this Armie doesn’t have the benefit (or maybe it’s more of a curse?) of that same knowledge.

 

He shrugs, not sure what else he can say to defend himself at this point.  “I dunno, I guess I just want to live like there’s no tomorrow, so in case there isn’t one, I can go out with no regrets.  Don’t you think we should all be doing that?”

 

There’s a sudden flash of something Timmy’s never seen in Armie’s eyes before.  “Fuck no, that sounds fucking exhausting!  Always on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop, constantly wondering if today is going to be your last.  That is not at all how I want to live my life.”  Armie huffs and stands up again, pacing the floor in front of the couch in clear agitation. 

 

Timmy has no idea why this topic is affecting him this way, and he’s at a total loss for what to say.  “I don’t…why are you getting so upset about this, Armie?  You wanted to know what was going on with me.  Well, now you know.”

 

Armie stops pacing and looks at him like he just grew another head.  “You don’t know why I’m upset?!  Because, Timmy, you’re over here talking about how you could fucking _die_ at any minute, acting like it’s perfectly normal for you to want to fuck my brains out every minute of every day because you just _never know_ when it might be the last time!!  I’d say that’s kind of upsetting, wouldn’t you?!” 

 

He’s visibly angry now, and Timmy can’t do anything other than gape at him in shock.  When he doesn’t say anything for several long minutes, Armie turns on his heel and storms toward the front door.

 

That snaps Timmy out of his stupor.  He calls out to Armie frantically before he reaches the door.  “Wait, Armie, where are you going?!”

 

“I need to fucking be alone right now!”  He growls back seconds before he disappears through the door, the deafening slam it makes as it closes behind him ringing in Timmy’s ears as he wonders what the fuck just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!! I was honestly NOT planning to end it on this evil cliffhanger but I'm a wordy bitch and it just got too long and yeeeeeaaaahhh, I'M SO SORRY! I will post the next chapter tomorrow morning, I PROMISE!! *ducks and runs away*
> 
> I still love your kudos and comments, even if I know they will be filled with angry curses/ranting this chapter! SOMETIMES LOVE HURTS, OK?!?! *cries*


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I seem to remember someone requesting some bodice-ripping sex a few chapters back... ;)
> 
> This was meant to be part of the previous chapter, but it just got to be too long and I wanted to give them their proper make up without rushing it, so...enjoy close to 3,000 words of angsty smut! :D
> 
> Also, if you want to play a fun game, count the number of times I use any iteration of the word "desperate" in this chapter and the one before it. LOL! XD

He’s still staring dumbstruck at the closed door with his mouth hanging open five minutes later.  It feels like the longest five minutes of his entire life.  He finally manages to pull his jaw off the floor and move about three steps toward the door when it flies open again with such force that it bangs loudly into the wall next to it.

 

Timmy stops dead in his tracks, eyes wide with surprise and just a hint of fear.  Armie’s standing there in the doorway, chest heaving as he pants with clear irritation.  “ _Fuck you_ , Chalamet!” 

 

Timmy is completely glued to his current spot on the floor.  He’s never seen Armie this mad at him before, and he has no idea what he’s going to do next.  So he’s more than a little shocked when Armie suddenly takes several long strides toward him and is crushing his mouth to his in a ferocious kiss, bending him backwards almost in half with the force of it.

 

He stumbles back several steps, grateful to eventually bump into the back of the couch so he doesn’t completely fall over as Armie continues his attack on his lips.  Armie bites down on his lower lip, _hard_ , and Timmy cries out in both pain and arousal.  He hasn’t ever seen Armie like this before.  Timmy’s always been the needy one, the one throwing himself into things full force as Armie just calmly lets him have his way with him.  Seeing Armie now, so clearly beyond any rational thought and purely in the throes of _feeling_ , it has Timmy hard in about 5 seconds flat.

 

Armie must be on the same page, because seconds later, the hands that are currently clenched into tight fists in the back of his shirt are now sliding down to squeeze his ass.  Timmy moans loudly into their kiss, which turns into a shocked yelp when Armie moves his hands lower and grips him firmly under his thighs and hoists him up into the air.  He instinctively wraps his legs tightly around Armie’s waist just seconds before Armie is moving them away from the couch and in the direction of the stairs.

 

He moans again, softer this time as Armie refuses to let go of his mouth even as he stutter-steps across the room, clearly not caring that he can’t see where the fuck he’s going.  Their mouths are clashing together roughly, all teeth and tongue, sloppy and wet and full of fire.

 

When they finally reach the stairs, Armie stops for a minute to shift his hold on Timmy.  He reluctantly pries his mouth from Timmy’s as he slides one arm under Timmy’s ass to hold him up and moves the other one out to hold onto the bannister at the foot of the stairs.  Timmy takes advantage of not currently being attached to Armie’s mouth and quickly reaches down to strip off his shirt, messing up his long curls in the process, throwing it in the general direction of the living room just as Armie takes the first step up the stairs.

 

They ascend slowly, Armie careful not to drop him as they make their way closer to the top of the stairs.  He’s now attached his mouth tightly to Timmy’s neck, sucking and biting all the way up both sides of the long, delicate column.  Timmy hisses in pleasure/pain and arches his head back to give him more access, careful not to bend back too far or risk Armie losing his balance as he continues to carry him.

 

Timmy wants there to be fewer articles of clothing between them, but at his current angle, he can’t get anything else off, and he doesn’t dare try to undress Armie for fear of making them tumble back down the stairs.

 

They finally reach the top, and Armie takes several quick steps down the hall to their bedroom, turning the knob and using Timmy’s back to push the door open.  Timmy lets out a surprised “oof” when he’s suddenly being slammed against the wall next to their bed, Armie’s entire body pushing into him to keep him in place.

 

He’s already panting and so hard he could cut glass, and he uses the leverage of the wall behind him to rut against Armie to seek more friction.  Armie seems to like this idea, as he, too, begins thrusting his hips up against the bottom of Timmy’s ass as he holds him tightly to the wall.  Armie claims his mouth again in another bruising kiss, and Timmy’s hands fly into his hair and he holds their faces together until he’s so out of breath he’s on the edge of passing out.

 

Then suddenly he’s being slowly lowered down to his feet.  He blinks his eyes open as he sees Armie take a small step back from him, giving himself just enough room to rip his shirt over his head and shove his pants and boxers down his toned legs all in one smooth motion.  Timmy’s eyes go wide with arousal as he sees just how hard Armie is, knowing he’s in the exact same state. 

 

He barely has a second to catch his breath before Armie is forcefully tugging _his_ pants and underwear down, as well.  When Armie nudges his foot, he obediently steps out of them and kicks them away.  Then he’s being turned around and shoved back into the wall face-first, Armie crowding in behind him and biting down on his ear.

 

Timmy moans, turning his head to the side so Armie can reach it easier, then reaches a hand around behind him to grab at Armie’s ass and push him further into him.  He feels Armie’s hard cock sliding up in between his ass cheeks, and he swallows hard in anticipation of that beautiful thick cock being shoved inside him.

 

But it seems Armie has other ideas.  After another minute or so of Armie grinding his hips into him, he’s suddenly gone.  Timmy makes a pathetic whining sound in confusion and is just about to turn around to figure out where Armie went when he suddenly feels his ass cheeks being spread wide and Armie’s thick, hot tongue licking a long stripe from his balls up to his hole.

 

“Oh fuck, oh god, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck_!”  Timmy moans out a string of obscenities and jerks against the wall in surprise at the sudden sensation, and he has to focus all his energy on not coming right then and there with the liquid heat of Armie’s tongue pressing against his entrance.

 

This was one of the few things he hadn’t explored with Armie yet.  Not that he hadn’t wanted to, but he knows not everyone is into rimming and he didn’t want to presume.  So he figured he’d wait to see if Armie ever initiated it.  And now that he has, he’s _incredibly_ grateful that he seems to be rather enthusiastic about it, wasting no time in lapping at him eagerly and pushing his tongue in past the first ring of muscles.

 

He presses his face into the wall and shoves his ass backwards into Armie’s face, desperate for him to go deeper.  Armie happily acquiesces, and soon Timmy is writhing and moaning nonstop as Armie relentlessly tongue fucks him.  Almost without warning, Timmy comes without even touching himself, painting the dark brown wall with thick streaks of white as he cries out in ecstasy.

 

Armie keeps licking into him for another couple minutes until he stops shaking and his breathing starts to even out again.  He’s gone mostly limp against the wall, leaning heavily onto his upper body and face to keep himself from sliding down in a boneless heap on the floor.

 

When Armie moves away again, he doesn’t even have the energy to turn around to see what he’s doing.  But he hears the snick of the bottle of lube being opened, and his heartbeat begins to pick up speed again.

 

He slowly raises his head to turn enough to see Armie, and he finds him just a few feet behind him, dick lubed and ready to go.  He licks his lips slowly as Armie turns him around to face him again.  He expects Armie to lead him over to the bed, but instead Armie picks him back up and before Timmy has a chance to realize what’s happening, Armie’s cock is pushing into him as he pins him to the wall with his hips.

 

He gasps and furiously gulps in air as Armie continues to move deeper and deeper inside him, only waiting a few seconds before pulling almost all the way out and slamming back in again.  All Timmy can do is hang on for dear life, Armie clearly needing this as badly as he does. 

 

Armie sets a moderate pace, not punishing by any means but it’s deep, so deep Timmy can feel him in his stomach.  It takes Timmy several minutes before he can do anything other than just cling to Armie like a life-raft in the middle of the ocean as Armie continues to fuck him into the wall with an intensity he’s been dreaming about for ages.

 

Finally, he’s able to summon enough energy to actually participate more fully.  He tightens his legs around Armie’s ass and arches into him, leaning forward to suck on Armie’s earlobe and lick the sweat from his forehead.  When he finally manages to catch a glimpse of Armie’s eyes, which had been closed in concentration until he felt Timmy moving against him, he sees a healthy dose of lust and heat pooling in his clear blue irises, and – is that a hint of fear?

 

He furrows his brow in concern and is about to say something when Armie slams his mouth into his again, and he loses himself in the chaos of lips and tongues and teeth and the salty taste of their sweat as it drips down both of their faces and mingles with their saliva as they devour each other.

 

He’s so wrapped up in Armie surrounding him so completely that he’s caught off guard when Armie suddenly starts moving backwards away from the wall, still gripping Timmy tightly in his arms.  Armie’s cock slips out of his ass as he moves, but he doesn’t even have time to mourn the loss before he’s being tossed onto the bed and Armie is crawling on top of him, wasting no time in shoving right back into him with a powerful thrust as he bends Timmy practically in half on the mattress.

 

He’s not sure how it’s even possible after the intensity of his orgasm a few minutes ago, but apparently his dick is more resilient than he gave it credit for because it’s already springing back to life and flopping against his stomach wildly as Armie pounds into him with vigor.  He’s about to reach down and start stroking himself when he hears what sound like quiet sobs coming from down by his shoulder, where Armie’s face is currently pressed.

 

“Ar – Armie?  What’s wrong, baby?”  When Armie doesn’t answer, just sniffles softly once and keeps thrusting his hips, Timmy brings his hands up to the sides of his face and gently guides him to his own face.  Armie’s eyes are shining with moisture, his face contorted into an expression he’s not sure what to make of.

 

Armie stops moving, holding himself still deep inside Timmy as they gaze at each other silently for several long seconds.  Then finally, something must break in Armie because he finally lets everything loose.  “Fuck, Timmy, you’re not allowed to leave me, do you understand me?!  I refuse to accept it!  I don’t care if I have to make a deal with the devil himself to keep you alive forever, I’m not losing you, _ever_!  I won’t… _I can’t_.  Not now, not after everything.  You’re all I have left!  Fuck, baby, I _need_ you!  I can’t lose you, too!”

 

When Armie finishes, he’s full-on sobbing, tears streaking down his reddened face and snot trickling from his nose to gather on his upper lip.  Timmy’s heart breaks into a million tiny pieces in that moment.  He knew Armie loved him deeply – that much was evident from the first minute he got to this world – but he never realized just how intense that love really was.  Armie’s been so calm and easygoing about their relationship so far, happy and settled in their life as a married couple without all the crazy drama that he knows they had to deal with early on. 

 

But apparently the desperate need for each other still very much exists between them, it was just carefully hidden beneath tender touches and quiet declarations of love in their everyday lives.  Until Timmy came along and started talking about death and losing each other, and…fuck, this is _not_ what he had wanted, at _all_.

 

He pulls Armie down into a tight embrace and whispers soothing words against his ear, one hand buried in his hair and he massages his scalp and the other running up and down his slick back.  “Hey, shhh, it’s ok, you’re not going to lose me.  I’m so sorry, baby.  I’m so, so, sorry.”  He keeps repeating it over and over as Armie cries into him, until finally Armie’s sobs subside and he slowly lifts his head to look back at Timmy.

 

Armie leans in and kisses him, this one much more gentle and loving than the rest, and slowly resumes moving his hips into Timmy.  Timmy moans into Armie’s mouth and pushes his hips up to meet him.  He starts to slide his hand down to reach for himself and finally give his aching cock some much needed attention, but Armie stops him by tangling their fingers together and pressing Timmy’s hand back into the mattress by his head.  He makes a needy whining sound, but then Armie’s other hand reaches down between them and wraps around him, and Timmy’s eyes roll back in his head at the sweet feeling of relief that floods his body.

 

When he looks back, Armie is staring straight into his eyes, boring into his soul as he moves deep within his core.  It’s intense and hot as fuck, and Timmy comes a minute later with a silent scream.

 

Once he recovers a bit, he leans up to kiss Armie again, panting breathlessly into his open mouth.  Armie returns the kiss and a few seconds later, he bites down on Timmy’s lip so hard he breaks the skin as he spills his release deep into Timmy’s tight heat.

 

Armie collapses onto Timmy with a thud, but Timmy doesn’t even mind.  He just rubs the hand Armie isn’t still holding over Armie’s back soothingly for several minutes until Armie finally finds the energy to roll off of him onto his side.

 

They stay quiet for several more minutes, each of them panting softly and trying to return their heartbeats to normal.  When Armie speaks, his voice is soft.  “I’m sorry I yelled at you like that earlier.”

 

Timmy swivels his head to look in Armie’s direction.  He sees the apology in his eyes, the guilt he feels about his outburst.  “It’s ok, Armie.  I get it, why it upset you so much.”  He brings one hand up to stroke his face, pushing a few sweaty strands of hair back from his forehead.

 

“Yeah, but I was still out of line.  I just…can we maybe table all the doomsday talk for now?  It’s depressing as hell and I don’t want to think about it unless I absolutely have to.  And…as incredibly _hot_ as this was, can we just fuck normally from now on and leave all the desperate ‘act like it might be the last time’ bullshit behind for a while.  I’m not sure my blood pressure can deal with this amount of anxiety on the regular.”  He gives Timmy a weak smile, obviously trying for a bit of humor but knowing there was a lot of actual truth in what he was saying.

 

Timmy returns his smile with a genuine one of his own.  “Deal.”  He rolls over onto his side to plant a tender kiss on Armie’s forehead, which turns into Armie pulling him down to kiss him more fully on the mouth for several long minutes before they have to break away to breathe again.

 

They spend the rest of the day together in bed, mostly just lying together quietly, sometimes kissing languidly, their bodies wrapped around each other protectively.  The only time they move is during the five minutes it takes Armie to get a washcloth and clean Timmy’s drying come off the wall and each other, and the other 10 minutes it takes Timmy to go downstairs to warm up the leftover lasagna from the night before for dinner.  They eat in bed, feeding each other one bite at a time and laughing when tomato sauce drips onto their chins, the other leaning in to lick it off quickly before it hits the sheets.

 

Timmy’s grateful that he doesn’t have any auditions lined up for today, because if he did, he’d probably be tempted to blow them off.  Armie does get a call from the restaurant in the early evening to see if he can cover for the other chef again, and he actually _does_ blow that off, knowing he’s gone in for him enough times before that saying no this once isn’t going to do any real damage to his reputation there.

 

They make love again just before they fall asleep, slow and sensual, and Timmy doesn’t feel the constant need for _more_ that he has since he woke up in this world.  For now, just knowing Armie is there, quietly snoring beside him, is enough to allow himself to let go of his worry and just live in the moment with his loving husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE, I TOLD YOU GUYS I WOULD FIX IT!!! LOL! :D
> 
> So, I've been kind of a writing fiend this week as I've been off from work and had nothing else to do, lol. So you will be actually be getting another couple of updates from me in the next couple days. :D
> 
> Comments are my lifeblood and you all keep me very happy and healthy. <333


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after the crazy intensity of the last couple of chapters, I figured you guys could use a bit of a break with the angst, lol. So enjoy a cute little fluffy interlude with our lovebirds. Warning for heavy amounts of teeth-rottingly sweet schmoop! ;)

The next day, Timmy has two auditions lined up.  The first is early in the morning, which he’s less than thrilled about, especially considering it’s another one-line, no-name role, but he tries to keep an open mind anyway.  He gets up in time to join Armie for his post-run shower, then they eat a quick breakfast together before he has to head out.

 

The audition is a bust, which would normally make him cranky, but he’s still basking in the afterglow of the previous day with Armie, so he doesn’t let it get him down.  He gets home to find Armie gone.  When he checks his phone, he sees he missed a text from him saying he had to go help Nick with something before he has to be at the restaurant that afternoon.

 

He’s a little disappointed; he’d wanted to see him before he had to leave for his other audition at 2:00.  He holds out hope that Armie might be back before then, but no such luck.  He sends Armie a selfie of him giving a pouty face, with the caption “Missing my babe.  Where, oh where, could he be?” before he heads out the door again.

 

His second audition goes better than the first, and the part is actually for a 3-episode guest spot on a network sitcom.  He’s been wanting to try more comedic roles, so he’s kind of excited about the prospect of this one.  It’s not a sure thing, but he feels like the casting director actually liked what he did, and she didn’t give him the same derisive look that so many of them have been, so he finds that to be promising.

 

Just as he’s walking out the door of the audition, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.  It’s a text from Armie.  He sent a picture of him in his chef’s hat, clearly taken at the restaurant.  The caption read, “Gotta make that money, honey.  I know how much you like pretty things.  ;)”

 

He laughs out loud when he sees it, making a couple people passing him on the street give him a strange look.  He ignores them, too blissfully happy and in love to care what anyone else thinks.

 

He’s suddenly too impatient to wait until Armie gets home from work later that night to see him.  He knows Armie took the car to the restaurant since his audition had only been a few blocks from home, so he walks to the nearest bus stop and catches the right bus that will take him to his love.

 

L.A traffic is a bitch and he doesn’t arrive at the restaurant until well after 6, but he doesn’t care.  There’s a line out the door and the parking lot is completely full.  He knows this place is popular and very upscale, even if he hasn’t actually been inside it yet.

 

He’s preparing himself for another hour wait to get inside when one of the young busboys spots him as he waits in line at the hostess stand and starts waving at him furiously.  He comes over with a huge smile on his face, and Timmy isn’t sure how to react.  “Timmy!  Hey sweetie!  What are you doing here?!”

 

Timmy relaxes a bit, clearly this kid knows him somehow, probably because of Armie, and he seems very nice and friendly.  And super gay.  Normally he tries to avoid giving into stereotypes, but in this case, it’s incredibly obvious.  Plus, the giant rainbow tattoo he has on the inside of his left arm just above his wrist kinda gives it away.

 

When the kid sees him staring at it, he quickly pulls down the sleeve of his button-down shirt to hide it.  “Shit, I’m supposed to keep that covered when I’m working.  Damn shirt is too small and the sleeves keep riding up.”

 

Timmy smiles sympathetically at him.  “Hey, I won’t tell anyone I saw it, I promise.”

 

The kid, who he finally figures out is named “Ryan” based on his name tag, returns the smile gratefully.  “Thanks, honey.  Are you here to see Armie?  I know he’s kinda slammed right now but I can let him know you’re here.”

 

Ryan goes to turn toward the kitchen, but Timmy quickly grabs his arm to stop him.  “No, that’s ok.  I mean, yes, I’m here to see him, but I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy.  Is there any way I can just go wait for him for a bit?”

 

Ryan gives him a beaming smile.  “Of course, sweetie, let me see what I can find for you.”  He runs off into the main area of the restaurant and returns a couple minutes later.  “Ok, there aren’t any tables open right now, but there’s room at the bar and you can order whatever you want from the menu.  I already told the bartender it’s on the house.  He’s new, so if he tries to make you pay, just remind him you’re Armie’s husband and he’ll take care of it.”

 

Timmy thanks him profusely and follows him into the area of the restaurant where the bar is located.  It’s incredibly swanky, with a fucking ten-foot long aquarium in the middle of it and soft twinkle lights around the entire perimeter of the main room.  There’s a baby grand piano off in the corner, which is unfortunately not being played at the moment.  There’s even a small dance floor next to the piano, where an older couple is currently swaying together slowly to the gentle music wafting in from the speakers.

 

He takes a seat at the bar just as Ryan apologetically leaves him to get back to work.  From his current position, he can see the door to the kitchen several feet to the left of the bar.  Every once in a while, he catches a glimpse of Armie through the porthole window of the door as he hurries past it.

 

He ends up ordering the steak – why not, it’s free – and a rum and coke as he waits.  The steak is sublime, but he’s not surprised by that in the slightest, seeing as Armie was the one who prepared it.

 

He’s been there maybe 45 minutes when he finally spots Armie coming out of the kitchen door.  Before he can move, he sees Ryan run up to him from another area of the restaurant and whisper something in his ear.  Armie looks up and turns his head to look straight over at the bar, smiling widely when he locks eyes with Timmy.

 

Armie says something quickly to Ryan, probably thanking him, before making his way over to Timmy.  “What are you doing here, babe?!”  Armie scoops him up into a bear hug and plants a big, wet kiss on his lips.  He’s freaking adorable in his full chef getup.  Timmy wonders briefly if he could convince him to wear that in bed so they can roleplay sometime.

 

He must be making a funny face because Armie laughs and asks him, “What?”

 

He shakes the naughty thoughts away and smiles sheepishly.  “Sorry, nothing.  I just couldn’t wait until later to see you.  I missed you.”  He ducks his head and bites his lip, suddenly feeling silly for being needy again.  It had only been since this morning, but after everything that happened yesterday, he’d gotten drunk on Armie’s attention and needed another fix, stat.

 

But Armie just smiles fondly at him.  “I’m glad you’re here.  It’s been crazy tonight, and seeing your face makes it a little more tolerable.”  Armie brushes a few curls off his forehead and tucks them behind his ear.  “George is taking over for a bit so I can take my break, so I’ve got half an hour I can spend with you before I have to go back to the insanity.  Come on, let’s go hit the lounge.”

 

He follows Armie past the employee’s only door and down a long hallway which leads to their incredibly nice break lounge, complete with 3 large couches, a huge fridge, and two microwaves.  He tries not to look too over-impressed, knowing that this world’s Timmy must have seen this place a hundred times before.  That fact is made pretty clear when several of the other staff members greet him with smiles when they walk in, one leggy waitress even coming over and giving him a hug and ruffling his hair affectionately.  Armie just beams at him so he figures this is normal.  He doesn’t recognize any of them, but he tries his best just to smile and go with it, hoping none of them try to ask him too many questions that he won’t be able to answer.

 

But once they sit down in the corner of one of the couches together, everyone else thankfully leaves them pretty much alone, only the occasional “Hey what’s up?” said in passing as people filter in and out of the lounge.  They mostly just sit and cuddle together for the majority of Armie’s break, Armie telling him about some silly drama between a couple of the waitresses, and Timmy filling him in on how his auditions went.  Armie seems particularly excited about the sitcom, which makes him grin happily.

 

When Armie’s break is almost over, he leans forward to whisper in Timmy’s ear.  “Hey, so I get off at 10, why don’t we meet at our spot after that and we can have a date night?  It’s been a while since we’ve done that.”  He pulls back and Timmy sees a playful look in his eyes.

 

Timmy is thrilled by the idea…only he has no idea where “their spot” is.  So he makes a counteroffer.  “How about I just meet you back here and we can go together?  More time to be with each other, and all.”  He giggles and nuzzles into Armie’s neck, not sure when he turned into a 13-year-old girl but not even remotely caring.

 

Armie threads their fingers together in his lap.  “Sounds perfect.  I’ll see you then.”  He kisses Timmy gently, his lips soft and pliant against Timmy’s.  When he pulls back, Armie’s eyes are sparkling with happiness.  “Love you, babe.”

 

Timmy breaks out into a huge smile at Armie’s words.  “Love you, too.”  Armie pulls himself up and makes his way back to the kitchen as Timmy parts his company and goes back out front.  He waves at Ryan on his way out, who grins and waves back excitedly.

 

He has a couple hours to kill before he has to be back at the restaurant to meet Armie, so he finds a couple shops in the nearby area that are open late.  He wants to get Armie some kind of gift, but he doesn’t know what he should get.

 

He asks one of the employees to help him come up with ideas, and when he tells her who it’s for, she’s very enthusiastic and helpful.  Turns out she’s actually a fan of Call Me By Your Name – the first he’s encountered in this world so far – but she hadn’t wanted to bother him.  She shyly mentions that she’s happy he found true love with Armie, and he thanks her with sincerity.

 

She gives him several good gift ideas for Armie, and he ends up going with her last suggestion, a giddy smile on his face as the girl rings him up.  He asks her if she wants a photo with him, and she seems genuinely shocked, but delighted.  It seems the Timmy of this world is a little more wary of interacting with fans, not that he necessarily could blame him, given everything.  They take several selfies in various poses, and as he’s walking out the door with his purchase, which thankfully he can fit in his jacket pocket so Armie won’t see it, he thanks her again and smiles brightly at her.

 

He gets back to the restaurant a few minutes before 10 and plans to just wait outside for Armie until Ryan comes out and says he can wait in the lounge while they close up.  It seems there are perks to being married to the chef.  Armie comes to find him around 10:20 and they head out.

 

It turns out their “spot” is a quiet grassy area under a specific tree overlooking a small pond in one of the public parks in West Hollywood.  He doesn’t recognize it as one he’s been to before, but apparently these versions of them come here a lot.  They even have a whole routine.  They grab a couple of chicken wraps from one of the food trucks across the street from the park entrance, and then they stop at the Chinese takeout place next to it and order a carton of noodles to share.  Timmy later figures out that the noodles are simply a means to an end, since the only way to get the free fortune cookies is to order something.  He’s highly amused by the entire scenario and wonders how they even came up with it in the first place.

 

They go sit on “their” bench to eat their food, and even though Timmy had a whole steak a couple hours ago, he still devours the wrap happily.  When they’re finished with their food, Armie sits down in the grass with his back against the tree and pulls Timmy in between his legs, holding him close to his chest.  “God, I love it here.”

 

Timmy hums in general agreement.  It’s definitely a pretty spot, though he’s not entirely sure what personal significance it has for them.  He figures it must be fairly important for them to come here so often and even have a fairly specific ritual that goes with it.

 

He leans back against Armie’s chest and closes his eyes in contentment.  Neither of them says anything for several minutes, and when Armie finally does speak again, Timmy is on the verge of falling asleep.  “I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I asked you to marry me right here, in this spot.”

 

That gets Timmy’s attention and his eyes snap open as he takes in what Armie said.  Armie _proposed_ here?!  Yep, that’s a pretty damn big significant thing for them.  He tries to keep his heartrate in check as his brain works through this new information.  “Yeah, that’s…that’s crazy!”  He tries to keep his voice steady and not let Armie hear his shock.

 

Armie kisses his hair and rubs one hand up his thigh.  “I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, what with our anniversary coming up soon and everything.”

 

“Uh huh, yeah, totally.”  Timmy isn’t sure how to respond, but he can’t just say _nothing_ to that.

 

Armie nuzzles his face into Timmy’s hair for a few seconds, just breathing him in.  Timmy shivers when Armie runs a slow fingertip up the outside of his arm, bringing his whole hand down when he gets to his shoulder and begins massaging it gently.  “Actually, I’ve been thinking a lot about the very first time we came here.  After everything happened and you flew out here panicking because Brian told you it would ruin your career if you stayed with me.  And I brought you to this spot to calm you down, with our chicken wraps and fortune cookies.  And when you read your fortune – “The love of your life will carry you through any circumstance” – you told me you loved me, that you were _in love_ with me.  It was the first time you’d said that, and I knew…in that moment I knew I wanted to be with you forever, no matter what else happened.”

 

Timmy can’t remember how to breathe as Armie’s words wash over him.  He finally manages to inhale a shaky breath as Armie reaches for his hand and threads their fingers together on his knee.  “God, I’m still just as in love with you now as I was that day, maybe even more-so.”  Armie breathes it against his ear, and he can’t help but shiver again.

 

He slowly turns his head to look into Armie’s eyes.  “Me too.”  It’s barely a whisper against Armie’s lips before he closes his own over them.

 

A minute later, Armie pulls back from the kiss and grins widely.  “Shall we see what the fortunes have in store for us tonight?”  He winks, and Timmy lets out a breathy laugh.

 

They break open their fortune cookies and pull out the tiny slips of paper inside.  Armie reads his first.  He snorts in disbelief.  “Really?  ‘When hungry, order more Chinese food.’  Man, the quality of these fortunes has really taken a nose-dive lately.”

 

Timmy stares down at his and smirks.  “I dunno, I think mine is actually pretty good.”

 

Armie quirks his head in amusement.  “Oh yeah, what’s it say?”

 

Timmy’s smirk turns mischievous as he looks back at Armie.  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”  He winks, and then he only has seconds before Armie is tackling him to the ground and tickling him mercilessly.  “Ahhh, no, Armie, stop!  Stoooop!!”  He’s howling with laughter and kicking his legs out wildly, trying to squirm out of Armie’s grasp.

 

“Not until you tell me what it says!”  Armie continues the attack until Timmy calls out “UNCLE” in surrender and he finally lets him up, moving back to sit on his knees while Timmy recovers.

 

Timmy’s still wheezing with laughter when he chokes out, “It says…‘Flattery will go far tonight’.  Good to know!”  He wipes the tears streaking down his face with the back of his hand as he manages to sit upright again.

 

Armie narrows his eyes at him.  “It does _not_!  Give me that!”  He scrambles over to hover next to Timmy again.

 

Timmy giggles again and waves the paper in front of Armie’s face so he can read the words.  He watches in delight as Armie sees that he’s telling the truth.  A dumbfounded “Huh,” is all Armie manages to say in response.  But after a few seconds, he mimics Timmy’s smirk from earlier.  “Well come on then, let’s have it.”  He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Timmy crows with laughter again at the sight, and he falls back against the grass.  Armie fake-pouts from his spot a few feet away from him, which just makes Timmy howl even more.  A few seconds later, he hears Armie chuckling softly as he flops himself down on his back beside him on the grass, grabbing Timmy’s hand in his between them.

 

After his cackling subsides to a few small hiccupping giggles, he runs a hand through his hair and looks up at the clear night sky above them.  It’s close to midnight by now and it’s getting chilly, but he isn’t ready to leave this place yet.  He turns his head to look over at Armie, who’s also looking up at the sky with a giddy smile on his face.

 

His heart is bursting with love as he gazes at the man of his dreams.  He scooches over and lays his head on Armie’s chest, sighing happily into the soft fabric of his sweater.  “I love you, Armie.”

 

Armie runs a hand through his curls and kisses the top of his head gently.  “Right back atcha, babe.”  Timmy can hear the smile in his voice, and he snuggles deeper into him.

 

After a few more minutes of lying quietly together, Timmy remembers what his fortune said and grins.  He raises his head to meet Armie’s eyes, giving him his best innocent look.  “You know…you’re really hot.”  He can’t keep the wicked grin off his face now.

 

Armie arches his eyebrow in amusement.  “Oh really?  Is that so?”  He twists his lips up in his own lopsided grin.

 

Timmy drags a finger along Armie’s jawline, following the motion with his eyes as he turns his nail in ever so slightly to scratch lightly at his skin.  “Mmm-hmmm.”  He bites his lip and flicks his eyes up to meet Armie’s again, letting him see the heat he knows is reflected there.  When Armie’s own pupils state to dilate, he leans down to lick along the line his finger had traced a minute earlier.  “Like Really. Fucking. Hot.”  He punctuates each word with a tiny bite to Armie’s chin.

 

Armie growls low in the back of his throat.  “Yep, that’ll work.”  Before he has a chance to respond, he’s being flipped onto his back and Armie is licking and sucking down his neck before coming back up to devour his mouth.

 

They make out like horny teenagers for a good while until Timmy is hard as a rock and practically humping up into Armie’s leg to get some friction.  Armie finally breaks away, breathless and just as turned on as Timmy.  But somehow, he finds a way to be the sensible one of the two of them.  “Fuck, as much as I’d love to take care of _that_ ,” he eyes Timmy’s very obvious boner, “right fucking now, I really don’t want to get arrested for public indecency.”

 

Timmy gapes at him in disbelief.  He can’t stop the pathetic whine that escapes his throat.  “Are you serious?!  Fucking tease!”  He glares at Armie, who just laughs and climbs to his feet.  He’s not actually mad, but he’s _really_ fucking horny and doesn’t give a shit if they get arrested as long as he can get off in the next 5 minutes.

 

“Now don’t be like that, baby!”  Armie’s teasing would normally be cute, but right now he’s decidedly less than amused.  “I promise to make it up to you when we get home.”  Armie winks and reaches out a hand to help Timmy up.

 

Timmy scoffs and grumbles at him.  “Yeah, you better.”  Armie snorts and can’t keep from giggling as he watches Timmy try to walk with his pants tented out several inches in front of him.  Timmy shoots him another glare and is just thankful no one else is around right now to notice.

 

Turns out he wasn’t the only impatient one, because Armie ends up blowing him in the car before they ever make it out of the parking lot.  Timmy’s eternally grateful that Armie sprang for the tinted windows when he bought the SUV, and he hopes to God no one in the immediate vicinity can hear him when he screams out Armie’s name at the top of his lungs as he comes down his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have one more chapter planned to go up this weekend sometime before I start spacing out my posting a bit more going forward. Thank you to everyone who's managed to keep up with all my crazy updates this past week, lol. <333


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again, lol! This is the last of the big batch up updates from me for a bit. I probably won't be posting again until close to the end of the week/the weekend. I'm sure you guys could use a break, anyway, lol. ;)
> 
> So this chapter kinda serves two main purposes. First, it's a cute moment between them where they end up having a sweet, but rather major, discussion about their future together in this world. It's important to note that Timmy here is very much drunk on Armie's all-encompassing love in this world and is maaaaybe getting a bit ahead of himself, and definitely NOT thinking about any possible consequences for if/when AU!Timmy returns back to that world to resume his life with his husband. Things got a little angstier in the middle than I intended, but it does speak to the harsh reality of their current situation, so I went with it. It's still like 90% fluff, though, I promise. ;)
> 
> The second purpose for the chapter is a set-up for the following one, which will finally see Armie's kids coming for his one weekend a month that he gets to have them. Timmy's a bit idealistic and naive about a lot of things in this chapter, still not having spent any real time with them yet, but that will soon change when he actually gets to see the current dynamic they all share in this life coming up. So just keep that in mind.
> 
>  
> 
> As always I ADORE talking to you guys in the comments! It's so much fun to see the theories you all are coming up with for what might happen going forward. It's completely fascinating to me, and even though I know where this all is going, it's still crazy fun to discuss with you all about the endless possibilities this crazy world presents. <333

That Saturday night they end up having a guy’s night at their house with a small gathering of Armie’s friends.  Timmy supposes they’re probably also his friends, too, but since the only ones he actually knows are Nick and one other guy Armie briefly introduced him to once in his other life, he can’t be sure.  He recognizes most of the rest of them from the restaurant the other night, but there’s still one or two he’s never seen before.

 

Armie uses the outdoor grill to cook burgers and hot dogs – he decides to keep it simple since he’s not on restaurant duty tonight – and spends most of the evening drinking and smoking cigars with his buddies in their spacious backyard, laughing loudly and just generally enjoying life. 

 

Timmy watches him mostly from the sidelines, casually flitting between conversations here and there, never really getting sucked into any one discussion too deeply because he doesn’t want to accidentally say something to tip anyone off that he’s not really the friend they know and love.  In truth, part of him is too busy beaming at Armie from across the yard to even pay that much attention to anyone else, anyway.

 

He loves getting to see this Armie like this, so happy and carefree and surrounded by people who love and accept him for who he is.  To know that despite all the people who turned their backs on them in the past, they’ve been able to find a group of people who celebrate their love instead of trying to tear it apart.  He hopes he can eventually feel more comfortable holding conversations with them, because it seems like most of them are pretty close friends of theirs and he’d love to actually get to know them better.

 

He does spend a good chunk of time chatting with Nick, who is thankfully exactly as Timmy knows him to be in his own life, and they end up having a great time playfully ribbing on Armie and talking about the sad state of Nick’s love life.  Nick seems really happy for him and Armie, though, and he’s very grateful that Armie has someone like him in his life, that they _both_ do.

 

About half of the guys there from the restaurant are also gay, and a couple of them even brought their boyfriends/husbands along.  One couple, whom he doesn’t recognize at all but later learns are named Andy and Brad, spend almost the entire time curled up on a lawn chair in the corner of the yard making out like a couple of teenagers.  They only break apart for food and when Armie breaks out the weed later in the evening.  Timmy is tempted to say something, but everyone else seems to act like this is completely normal behavior, so he tries to just smile and go with it.

 

As the evening winds down a little after 11 and people start filtering out, Timmy finds Armie draped across one of the lounge chairs finishing off the last of the joint he’d brought out earlier.  He’s staring up at the stars overhead, joint pinched loosely between his fingers as his arm hangs off the side of the chair, a gentle smile on his face. 

 

Timmy looks over at him and smiles fondly for a minute before he starts to gather the mess of bottles, cups, and plates scattered around their backyard to throw them away.  As he passes by the chair Armie’s in, he feels a hand grip the back of his shirt and tug gently.  “Babe, you don’t have to do all that right now.  Come sit with me, I’ve barely seen you all night.”

 

He’s about to protest when Armie’s hand tightens in his shirt and tugs him harder so that he loses his footing and tumbles backwards to land sideways in Armie’s lap, causing Armie to let out an “oof” followed by a series of giggles.

Once Timmy gets his bearings, he joins Armie in his laughter and scoots around so he can get settled more comfortably in Armie’s lap.  Armie takes a slow puff of the joint before offering it to him, which he gratefully accepts.  He takes a small hit, blowing it back out slowly as he lets it fill him with warmth.  He hands it back to Armie, who takes the last drag and leans forward to breathe the smoke directly into Timmy’s open mouth.  Timmy lets his eyes drift closed as he seals his lips over Armie’s in a lazy kiss, trapping the smoke between them.

 

When he pulls back again, he opens his eyes slowly to see Armie’s happy smile through the last few wisps of smoke as they drift up into the night sky.  He returns the smile and sighs, snuggling his head into Armie’s chest as Armie traces his fingers up and down his side.

 

They sit curled together for several minutes in silence, enjoying the cool night breeze as it gently blows around them.  Timmy’s so lost in his own thoughts that when Armie speaks, it startles him.  “Did you have a good time tonight, baby?”

 

He hums affirmatively.  “Yeah, it was cool.”

 

Armie smiles and kisses his head.  “Good.”

 

They’re quiet another minute before Timmy speaks again.  “You looked like you were having an amazing time.  It was nice to see you with your friends.”

 

“Hmm?  Oh yeah, I love having the guys over.  Wish we could do it more often, but we usually all have such different schedules.  Took us three months just to get this night planned.”  Armie sighs wistfully, and Timmy feels bad that they apparently don’t get this kind of night very often.  “Poor Frank, though.”  Armie blows out a long breath.

 

Timmy furrows his eyebrows together.  “Why, what happened?”  He remembers talking to Frank for a few minutes, but mostly about his favorite sports teams.  He couldn’t begin to guess what Armie might be talking about.

 

“He and Lydia are talking about getting a divorce.  It’s not official yet, but…it doesn’t look good.  They’ve been together almost 20 years.  Must be hard to choose to walk away after so much time.”  Armie’s hand finds its way to the back of Timmy’s neck and starts rubbing it gently.

 

Timmy doesn’t say anything, knowing Armie himself made that choice to in order to be with him, even if he hadn’t been married for nearly as long.  He thinks about his own Armie back in his real life, who’d clearly been too scared to ever consider divorcing Elizabeth, even though he now knows Armie’s feelings for him existed from the very beginning.  Thinking about that depresses him, though, so after another minute, he decides to change the subject.  “So…what’s up with Andy and Brad?”

 

The hand on his neck moves up to cradle the back of his head, the thumbs moving in circles over his scalp.  “What about them?”

 

He leans his head back into Armie’s touch, his eyes slipping closed again as he enjoys the feeling of Armie’s long fingers in his hair.  “I mean, practically all they did the whole night was make out with each other.”

 

Armie snorts, clearly amused at Timmy’s observation.  “They always do that, Timmy.  It’s not like it’s anything new.”

 

That almost makes it worse to Timmy.  “Yeah, but then why bother coming over here at all?  Can’t they just stay home if they want to fuck?”  He doesn’t mind seeing a bit of PDA now and then, but those two were about 5 seconds away from ripping each other’s clothes off and going at it right there.

 

Armie lets out a full body laugh at that.  “First of all, they do _not_ fuck here.  I made sure of that after I accidentally walked in on them in the bathroom several months ago and Brad was just about to go down on Andy.  We had a long talk about boundaries after that, I promise.  Second, it’s kinda hard for them to have any privacy at home with a 7 and a 4-year-old wandering around demanding their attention all the time.  They come here because they know we don’t give a shit and will leave them alone.”  Armie pauses, clearly considering something.  “Plus, I think they might secretly be exhibitionists.” 

 

He says it so nonchalantly that Timmy actually wrenches himself up to look at Armie in disbelief, Armie’s hand slipping out of his hair at the sudden movement.  “What?!  Really?”

 

Armie shrugs, clearly unbothered by the whole idea.  “I dunno, maybe.  Doesn’t matter, really.  I’ve learned to just let them be.  And since when are you such a prude, huh?”  Armie grins and pokes both of his pointer fingers into Timmy’s side to tickle him, causing Timmy to jerk away and slap furiously at his hands to make him stop.

 

“Ahh!  Quit it!  I’m _not_ a prude!”  He can’t stop his giggles as he unsuccessfully tries to get out of Armie’s tight grasp.

 

Armie finally relents and smirks at him, laughing when Timmy mock-glares at him as he tries to right his ruffled shirt.  “Damn right, you’re not!  I seem to recall you pulling me into the bathroom of the restaurant a few times for a quickie on my break.  I think Brad and Andy are actually pretty tame compared to that.”  He has a mischievous glint in his eyes as he teases Timmy.

 

Timmy opens his mouth to respond, then quickly closes it again, honestly having no idea what to say to that.  He’s a little surprised that this world’s Timmy is so outwardly bold with his sexuality, but then again, in this life, he and Armie started by hooking up on set, clearly while other people were around and could easily walk in on them, so it does kinda make sense.  He wonders when that sense of freedom went away in himself.  He remembers having it once upon a time, but he’s been much more cautious and restrained with those types of things in public in recent years.

 

Armie interrupts his thoughts when he speaks again, his voice much more introspective now.  “Anyway, don’t let them bother you.  I told them this is a safe space for them if they need it.  I understand their need to get a bit of a break from the kids sometimes.”  He turns his head away and when he continues, his voice sounds far away.  “Wish I had that problem myself, sometimes.”

 

Timmy’s stomach lurches and he feels like a huge asshole.  _Of course_ Armie would want to help the couple with young kids be able to have some time to themselves (well, _mostly_ to themselves) because he longs to be the one with the need for that himself.  But that was taken away from him because he made a mistake and people used it against him in the cruelest way imaginable.

 

He thinks about Andy and Brad, less annoyed by their antics now that he understands the whole story.  He realizes that if things had gone a little differently, if he and Armie had been able to calmly talk to Liz before she released the video, maybe _they_ would be the ones sneaking off to their friends’ houses to make out so the kids didn’t see them.  The thought tears his heart in half, and he aches for what they could have had.  Maybe in another parallel universe, they somehow managed to have that.

 

He brings his hand up to the side of Armie’s face and pulls it back so Armie meets his eyes again.  “I’m so sorry, Armie.  I know, I wish for that, too.”

 

He leans up to rub his mouth over Armie’s, barely even a kiss, more of just a comforting press of lips to let Armie know he recognizes his pain, even if he can’t truly understand it himself.  Armie presses back slightly, bringing them together a little more firmly.

 

They remain still for a long minute before Armie finally moves his head back.  “I know, babe.  Thank you for always being here for me.  I’d never get through any of this without you.”  Armie kisses his forehead softly, then brings a hand up to run through his hair and guide him back to lay on his chest again.

 

They breathe together quietly for another several minutes.  Timmy can’t stop the image of Armie with his kids from running through his head.  He’s such an amazing father, and he knows how much joy they bring him.  Soon, the image in his mind shifts slightly to include him, playing with Harper and Ford while Armie looks over at them fondly.  And…there’s someone else.  Another child, a girl with long dark curls that bounce when she toddles over to his outstretched arms.

 

He inhales sharply at the thought and is grateful Armie doesn’t seem to notice.  He tries to shake away the image, but he can’t.  He’d never really given a whole lot of thought to having his own kids before; he’s still so young and had so much ambition from such an early age that it never really fit into his plan when he envisioned his future.  At least it hadn’t before now.  But the more he thinks about it, the more he can’t imagine a more fulfilling experience than to have a child and spend his life raising it with Armie. 

 

Part of him thinks it’s ludicrous to even think about right now, considering he’s currently living in a parallel life and doesn’t know how long he will actually be here.  And the probability of him raising kids with Armie in his own life is basically zero.  Still, he can’t stop himself from wondering what it might be like.  He wonders if this Armie and Timmy ever talked about having more kids, or if the heartbreaking circumstances of Armie’s kids being ripped away from him made it too painful to consider.

 

He clenches his hand a little tighter in Armie’s shirt and tries to think of a way to ask him that wouldn’t come off as either suspicious or callous.  “Hey, babe?”  His voice is quiet, hesitant.  He doesn’t want to mess this up and make Armie feel worse about everything.

 

“Hmm?”  Armie’s obviously on the verge of falling asleep right there, the relaxing effect of the weed having kicked in pretty heavily by now. 

 

Timmy almost decides to forget it, thinking now wasn’t the best time to bring it up anyway.  But his curiosity gets the better of him and he decides to risk it.  “Do you think that’ll ever be us someday?  With the house full of kids and us vying for a stolen moment together here and there?”

 

At first Armie doesn’t say anything, and he’s trying to decide if he actually did fall asleep or if what he’d said had hurt or angered him so much he couldn’t actually speak.  He squeezes his eyes shut and waits for the inevitable storm he senses is brewing.

 

He’s more than a little surprised when all he hears is a breathy chuckle coming from above him.  He snaps his eyes open and tilts his head back so he can see Armie’s eyes.  He’s got a goofy surprised look on his face, his eyebrows hiked halfway up his forehead and a lopsided smile on his lips, like the question was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.  Timmy furrows his brows in confusion.  This was not at all the reaction he’d been expecting, and he has no idea what to make of it.

 

Armie must notice his confusion, because after another few seconds of studying Timmy’s face, his expression morphs into a more sincerely questioning one.  “Wait, are we seriously having this conversation right now?”  Timmy doesn’t know what to make of this reaction, either.  At least Armie still has a hint of a smile on his face and doesn’t seem upset, so he takes that as a good sign.

 

“I…uh…well…I mean…maybe, yeah?”  He stutters out his response, not sure what answer will make this less awkward.

 

Armie’s face changes again to be suddenly full of fondness and love, which at least brings him more comfort than the previous two expressions.  “Timmy, you know I’ve always wanted a big family with a bunch of kids running around.  And I know the situation with Harper and Ford right now isn’t great, but I hope that will change when I can appeal to the court next year.”  He pauses, combs a couple fingers through Timmy’s luscious curls. 

 

“And as for having more kids…well you know I’ve always said you’d make a fantastic father.  You’re a natural with Harper and Ford.  You have great instincts and your vibrant energy is a godsend.  But…” He pauses, and Timmy braces for the letdown.  He sees Armie’s eyebrows crease together and bites his lower lip in anticipation.  “The last time we talked about this, you expressed genuine interest in someday being a father but said you weren’t ready yet.  I mean, you’re only 22, and I don’t want to rush you.  It’s a huge step, one you can’t undo once you take it.  Are you actually thinking about this for real right now, or just fantasizing about the future?”

 

So they _had_ talked about having more kids.  That was good to know.  He’s not sure how to answer Armie’s question, though, considering he has no idea if, even if he _wanted_ to put things into motion now, he would still be in this world to see any of it through.  He’s only been there two weeks, and just blindly trusting he’ll be stuck here forever is a huge and risky assumption when it comes to something as life-changing as this.  Still, there’s been absolutely no signs or indications that he’ll be put back in his proper life anytime soon, or ever, and he doesn’t want to have to tread water for the rest of his life in case he really _is_ here for good.  He settles for a happy medium.

 

“I dunno, both, I guess?  It’s something I know I _do_ want, and I don’t know if there’s ever a _right_ time, necessarily.  Life is so uncertain, but every part of me knows I want to build a family with you, and I dunno, maybe it’s something we can just kind of talk about more seriously.  You know, like look into things and just make an overall plan or whatever.  There are so many options, we should at least figure out what would work best for us.  Right?”

 

He’s been looking somewhere in the vicinity of Armie’s chin as he talks, suddenly too nervous to make eye contact with him as he rambles.  When he finishes, he finally chances a quick look up to Armie’s eyes, and what he finds there makes him stop breathing momentarily.  Armie looks like he’s about to cry with happiness, and the look he’s giving him is so full of love that Timmy can literally feel his own heart melting.

 

“Yeah, yeah, we can do that.”  Armie answer is barely a whisper, full of quiet joy and excitement.  It only takes another second for Armie to grab his face with both hands and lean down to capture his mouth in a passionate kiss.  Timmy lets out a shocked noise as their mouths collide, but soon he’s laughing with glee as Armie breaks away to pepper his entire face with tiny kisses.

 

When Armie finally releases him, they’re both grinning like idiots, excited about the possibility of a new little life joining their family in the not-too-distant future.  Timmy can’t help himself anymore, he needs to make love to his freaking adorable husband _right now_. 

 

His grin turns slightly naughty.  “So uh…you want to go try to make a baby right now?”  He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively but can’t stop a tiny giggle from escaping his throat, despite the fact he’s trying hard to act sexy.

 

Armie barks out a surprised laugh and lovingly strokes the side of his face with one hand.  “Babe, you do know that’s not how it works, right?” 

 

Armie’s clearly teasing him, but Timmy just lets out an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes.  He playfully pushes at Armie’s shoulder in retaliation.  “Yes, I _know_ , asshole.  I was _trying_ to seduce you.”

 

Armie chuckles in amusement.  “Oh, I see.”  He leans up to press his lips directly next to Timmy’s ear.  “Just so you know, you don’t really have to try that hard to get me into bed with you.  I’m kind of a sure thing.”  He leans back and winks, a wicked glint in his eyes.

 

Timmy shudders with growing excitement and bites his lip for a few seconds before responding.  “That’s good to know.”  It comes out a bit breathless, his heartrate already picking up speed in anticipation.  “So uh, shall we then?”  He tilts his head toward the door that leads back into the house. 

 

He’s half tempted to just ride Armie right there in that chair, but he doesn’t think their neighbors would appreciate hearing them go at it in the middle of the night.  And the way he’s feeling right now, he’s not sure he’ll be able to keep himself quiet for long.

 

Armie grins like he’s about to devour him whole.  “Oh fuck yes!”  And before he knows what’s happening, he’s being lifted into the air, Armie’s arms slipping quickly under his knees and around his back as he carries him back into the house and toward the stairs.

 

He lets out a surprised squeal.  “Aaaahhh, Armie!  What are you doing?!  Put me dooooowwwwwnn!!”  He’s giggling madly and kicking his legs out in all directions, head thrown back as he tries to escape from Armie’s arms, but Armie’s hold is too strong.

 

“What?!  I’m trying to be romantic, just go with it!”  Armie laughs back at him, easily dodging Timmy’s wildly flailing limbs.

 

Armie finally sets him down at the bottom of the stairs, seemingly unprepared to try to climb up the steps with Timmy still thrashing around in his arms.  Timmy’s totally out of breath from laughing so hard and throwing his body every which way, and when he catches Armie just standing there grinning at him, he can’t but arch an eyebrow and ask, “What?”

 

The wicked look returns as Armie just grins wider.  “Last one to the bedroom is on party cleanup duty!”  He turns and starts scrambling up the stairs before Timmy even knows what’s happening.

 

Timmy takes off like a shot a few seconds later, shouting, “That’s not very romantic, fucker!” after him.  He hears Armie’s booming laughter echoing all the way down the hall as he frantically scrambles to catch up.

 

When he reaches the doorway of their bedroom, he sees Armie standing hunched over by foot of the bed, his hands on his knees as he tries to gasp in air in between his laughs.  Timmy takes off in a running leap and tackles him backwards onto the bed, furiously pulling articles of clothing off between them. 

 

When he finally manages to get them both naked, they’re both still laughing.  But Timmy does his best to wipe the dopey grin off of Armie’s face when he takes him in his mouth and hollows out his cheeks.  Armie’s laughter quickly morphs into deep, needy moans, and Timmy knows neither one of them is going to be able to be quiet tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, fair warning, this one will hurt. A lot. Please feel free to scream/cry/curse at me in the comments, I surely deserve it this time. I'M SO SORRY. :((((
> 
> This chapter is MASSIVE, both in length and in the amount of emotions happening throughout. But it was also very necessary to show all of the complex and intricate dynamics between Armie, Timmy, and Armie's kids all in this one chapter because the kids are not physically in the story much due to the circumstances of this world being what they are. So, you get a huge dose of angst all at once, but there are still some cute family moments sprinkled in throughout to hopefully make it a *little* better. And the next chapters will be far more balanced in terms of happy/sad moments, this one just really needed to happen this way in order for Timmy to realize the full gravity of the situation he's in.
> 
> As always, your continued love and support and amazing comments are overwhelming and I cannot thank you enough. <333

The next week flies by in a blur of giddy conversations with Armie, meetings with a couple of first-time directors that Brian had convinced to speak with him, and another handful of tedious auditions. 

 

On Wednesday, he gets a call about the sitcom he’d gone in for the previous week.  Turns out they decided to go a different way for the role he’d read for – said they were looking for a specific look for the character that Timmy didn’t quite match – but the casting director liked what he did so much that they wanted him for another part, instead.  It was only for one episode instead of three, but the role itself was actually bigger and more integral to the story than the other recurring guest role had been.  The episode shoots the following week, and he’ll need to be on set for three days.

 

He counts this as a huge win, and Armie agrees.   He grins and kisses him deeply, telling him he knew it was only a matter of time before the idiots in Hollywood stopped denying how talented Timmy was and let him shine.  They celebrate by Armie cooking Timmy his favorite meal and having a quiet candlelit dinner together, which later leads to Armie fucking Timmy on the dining room table, the light from the candles dancing across their sweat-slick skin as Armie murmurs soft words of praise into Timmy’s ear.

 

He’s so caught up in the happy bubble he’s been in all week that when he passes by the magnetic calendar on the side of their fridge Thursday night and sees the initials “H+F” surrounded by a giant heart written over that weekend, he freezes.  An instant pang of guilt floods his whole system when he realizes that he’d gotten so wrapped up in thinking about the possibility of starting a family with Armie that he’d almost forgotten that Armie already _had_ one, and that it had been cruelly ripped from him because Armie had been stubborn enough to get into a drunken fight to defend _him_.

 

After a couple minutes, the stab of guilt fades just enough for excitement to bleed through and he envisions all the fun the four of them will have this weekend.  He knows their time is limited, but in his mind, he’s already planning trips to the park and tea parties with Harper and slowly rocking Ford to sleep while Armie’s deep rumbling voice reads them a story.

 

And just as his heart is about to burst with joy, the feeling is once again slowly replaced by a creeping sense of doubt and anxiety.  He realizes he has no idea what his relationship with Armie’s kids is actually like in this world.  Do they even know who Timmy is to Armie?  Do they still call him “Uncle Timmy”, or is it “Daddy” or “Papa” now?  Do they resent him for breaking up their parents and ruining their otherwise perfect childhood? 

 

Surely Ford is too young to really know what was going on, he’s barely a year old.  But Harper is three, and Timmy’s all too aware of the fact that kids understand much more than adults usually give them credit for even at that early age.  And she’s always been a smart girl, witty and incredibly quick to pick up on things.  It’s completely possible she knows at least the very basics of what happened between him and Armie, and he worries that she might hate him for it.

 

He lays awake in bed that night for a long time.  Armie is closing at the restaurant, so he’s left alone with his thoughts and fears.  He can’t get comfortable and instead just stares blankly at the ceiling for what feels like hours, wondering what the weekend will bring when he finally gets to see the kids he’s always thought of as partly his, and now actually _are_.

 

A few minutes after 11, he finally turns over on his side and closes his eyes, willing sleep to come.  Not even 10 minutes later, he hears the door to the bedroom creak open and Armie shuffles in as quietly as he can.  Armie must think he’s asleep, and Timmy decides not to move, just silently listening to Armie as he moves about the darkened room, undressing quickly and sliding into bed behind him a couple minutes later, winding his arms around Timmy’s torso in a loose hold.

 

He keeps his breathing steady and tries to let himself relax into Armie’s embrace, knowing he’s safe in his lover’s arms.  But when Armie presses a soft kiss against his bare shoulder, just the faintest brush of soft lips over his smooth skin, he can’t stop the shiver that runs through him.  Armie doesn’t seem to notice, or if he does, he doesn’t say anything.  But a few seconds later, Timmy turns over in Armie’s arms to face him.

 

Armie’s eyes are already closed, his breath evening out as the beginnings of sleep attempt to pull him into unconsciousness.  Timmy stares at him for a few seconds, just watching his features as they slowly relax and smooth out, the worries and stresses of the day leaving him as he falls into the quiet of the night.  “Armie?”  It’s a hushed whisper, not loud enough to wake him if he was already asleep, but loud enough that he could still hear it if he wasn’t.

 

“Hmm?”  He can feel the low rumble of Armie’s hum in his own body.

 

He hesitates for a few seconds, not sure what exactly what he wants to say.  “We – we have the kids this weekend, huh?”  He tries to make it sound casual and not at all as nervous as he felt.

 

There’s a long pause before Armie answers, so long Timmy thinks he might have actually fallen asleep.  But then finally Armie’s deep voice reverberates through him again.  “Yep.  First weekend of the month, just like it has been for the past year.”  There’s no annoyance in Armie’s voice, just sad resignation. 

 

Timmy’s heart clenches painfully at the reminder that Armie’s time with them is so short, and he can’t help but hate Elizabeth in that moment.  At least the Liz in this life, the one who was able to be so vindictive to the man she claimed to love once.  “Oh…ok.”  He knows he sounds stupid, but it’s all he can think of to say in reply.

 

Apparently Armie thinks it’s odd, too, because he finally blinks open his eyes at him and furrows his brow in concern.  “Why, is everything ok?”

 

Timmy knows he can’t really tell him what he’s afraid of, knows that even if Armie knew the truth about him, he couldn’t burden him with his own dumb insecurities when Armie’s pain must be so much worse.  “Yeah, everything’s fine.  I’m just excited to see them, that’s all.”  It’s not a complete lie, and he hopes Armie will see his genuine anticipation and not his clawing anxiety.

 

Armie smiles lazily and closes his eyes again, pulling Timmy tighter to him and sliding one hand up into his hair, caressing him softly.  “Me too, babe, me too.”  Armie keeps stroking him for a few another minute before his hand goes slack against the back of his head, fingers still entwined in the soft strands of Timmy’s hair.  His mouth is hanging open slightly and Timmy hears the faintest whisper of a snore beginning as he breathes deeply in his sleep.

 

Timmy moves the slightest bit closer to him and presses a small kiss to the top of Armie’s nose before snuggling back down into his warm, firm chest and finally drifting off to sleep.

 

When the doorbell rings the following evening, Timmy’s just making his way downstairs from taking a quick shower.  Armie is in the kitchen making dinner, and he quickly makes his way to the door, throwing it open with a smile. 

 

Timmy reaches the bottom of the stairs just in time to see Harper’s tiny body fly through the door as she launches herself headfirst into Armie’s waiting arms.  “DADDY!!!”  Her screech is so loud that Timmy thinks she might have shattered some glass somewhere in their house, but he’s completely unable to stop the huge smile that breaks out on his face as he watches the scene in front of him.

 

“Baby girl!  How are you?!  I’ve missed you so much!”  Armie lifts her into the air and spins around, holding her high above his head.

 

Before she can answer him, a young-looking blonde girl, who is no older than mid-twenties, walks through the wide-open door with Ford in one arm and a huge cloth bag in the other.  Timmy assumes she must be their nanny, but he’s a little shocked not to see Elizabeth dropping them off herself.  When he stops to think about it, he decides that it’s just as well.  He’s not sure he can handle seeing this world’s version of her right now.

 

The girl waits with a cold look on her face until Armie puts Harper back down before handing Ford over to him like he was a sack of potatoes.  Armie seems to ignore her completely as his face lights up when his son is placed in his arms.  “Fordie!  Oh my god, you must have grown six inches since I’ve seen you last!  You’re huge!”  He grins and he kisses the top of Ford’s head.  Ford babbles happily and kicks his feet as Armie snuggles him tightly.

 

Timmy’s been keeping his distance, content to watch the happy family reunion from his spot by the stairs.  But then it dawns on him that this is now _his_ family, too, so he slowly shuffles into the room, trying not to draw too much attention to himself.

 

He sees Harper hugging Armie’s leg tightly as he still holds Ford in his arms.  The girl still has a stony look on her face, but she finally speaks.  “I’ll be back at 6:00 on Sunday.  Make sure they’re ready to go.”  She removes the bag from her shoulder and drops it on the floor next to her feet, then abruptly turns on her heel and makes her way back toward the door.

 

“Thank you, Jessica.”  Armie’s voice is far kinder than he expects it to be based on how she had acted toward him.  She simply waves a hand half-heartedly as she’s halfway out the door, not even bothering to turn around or close it behind her.  Armie still doesn’t seem bothered by Jessica’s rude behavior, he just turns back to his children, both of them clinging tightly to him, and grins happily.

 

Timmy’s watching them lovingly from several feet behind when Harper turns her head and notices him standing there.  “Timmy!”  Her exclamation isn’t as loud or as high-pitched as it was for Armie, but then he never would have expected it to be.  He’s honestly just ecstatic that she seems happy to see him at all.  Maybe things were ok between them after all. 

 

She lets go of Armie’s legs and runs over to him, her arms opening in a gesture meant for him to pick her up.  He does so gladly, and she wraps her tiny limbs around him tightly.  He turns his face into her soft hair and presses a kiss to the top of her head, incredibly grateful his fears of her hating him seem to have been unwarranted.

 

After a minute, Harper squirms in his arms, and he reluctantly sets her back down.  She immediately runs back over to Armie, who had already been walking over toward them.  When Ford sees Timmy, his tiny face lights up and he starts reaching out for him.  Armie chuckles and gently hands his son over to him with a fond smile.  “Looks like the gang’s all here.  Let’s go eat.  The food should be ready and I’m starving.”  He kisses Timmy’s cheek as he passes him, but Timmy’s a bit too preoccupied making silly faces at Ford to even fully notice.  When he finally feels the ghost of Armie’s lips as it lingers on his warm skin, he grins happily at Armie’s retreating form and follows after him.

 

Dinner is a whole affair, Armie having cooked enough food for a week.  When Timmy arches his eyebrow at the massive spread of food before them, Armie just shrugs and murmurs softly that he wants them to have whatever they want to eat, so he made a bunch of different options for them to choose from.  Harper picks macaroni and cheese and Ford very excitedly points to some chicken nuggets.

 

He and Armie have the last of the burgers Armie had left from their party the previous weekend.  They all eat eagerly as they listen to Harper animatedly regale them with tales from preschool and her dance classes.  He can’t help but notice the fact that she never directly mentions Liz by name, only alluding to her being present in a couple of her stories.  He wonders if it’s a conscious choice on her part, or if Liz had expressly told her not to talk about her with them.

 

After dinner, they take turns with each of them – Armie giving Ford a bath then reading Harper a bedtime story, while Timmy bathes Harper and reads to Ford.  Armie makes sure he’s present to tuck both of them in, and Timmy kisses them both on the head before excusing himself to the bedroom, letting Armie have a few minutes alone with them.

 

When Armie joins him in the bedroom half an hour later, he’s propped up against the headboard reading the script for his episode of the sitcom.  He looks up with a tired smile as Armie collapses onto the bed, his head flopping onto his t-shirt-clad stomach.

 

He puts the book down and moves one hand into Armie’s soft hair, rubbing softly.  “Well, we can never complain about it being boring when they’re here.”  He chuckles, squirming slightly when Armie begins to inch his shirt up with his teeth and lick teasingly around his belly button.  He can’t keep the giggle bubbling up in his throat from escaping, and he can feel Armie grin against his sensitive skin as he makes his way up his body.

 

Suddenly, he’s being yanked down from his seated position to be fully laid out under Armie’s hovering body, his surprised yelp cut off as Armie seals his lips tightly over his own.  He melts into the kiss, throwing his arms around Armie’s neck and pulling him down closer.

 

They continue to kiss languidly for several minutes, neither one pushing for anything more, both too tired and hyper aware of the presence of children close by.  Eventually Armie breaks away and rolls onto his side next to Timmy, laying his head on Timmy’s shoulder.  “God, I love having them here.  It makes the whole house feel so much more alive.  They make _me_ feel more alive.”

 

Timmy certainly couldn’t deny that.  Armie’s seemed pretty happy with his life since he woke up here 3 weeks ago, but there’s no question that the look Armie had on his face when he first saw his kids earlier was the happiest Timmy’s seen him so far.  It was like he was on another plane of existence when he was with them.  It makes Timmy’s heart burst in his chest just thinking about it.

 

He turns his face so he can press a kiss to Armie’s forehead.  “I know, babe.  You’re so beautiful when you’re with them.”

 

Armie hums contentedly and Timmy thinks he’s going to fall asleep just like that, but after a minute Armie leans up and strips off his shirt, throwing it in the general direction of the clothes hamper by the closet.  Timmy does the same, and he’s about to strip off his pants when he notices that Armie’s are still on as he settles back beneath the covers.  He quirks his head but then decides not to question it, following Armie’s lead and leaving his sleep pants on as he curls up with his back to Armie’s chest, Armie’s knees nudged tightly into the backs of his and an arm thrown around his waist.  “Goodnight, Timmy.”

 

Timmy’s lips twitch up in a small smile.  “Night, Armie.”

 

Four hours later, he suddenly understands why they sleep with their pants on when the kids are there.  There’s a knocking at their door, starting off so quiet he can barely hear it, then gradually getting louder until Timmy groans in frustration at the sound.  “Daddy?”  A small voice floating into the room suddenly makes him freeze.  He lifts his head up to see Harper standing in their doorway, the light from the hallway streaming in through the small crack of the door where she opened it.

 

Armie leaps out of bed, startling him in the process.  He hadn’t even realized Armie had woken up.  “Yeah, baby, what is it?”

 

Timmy can hear a soft snuffling sound coming from the other side of the room as he squints to try to see what’s happening.  “I got scared.  Can I sleep in here with you and Timmy?”

 

“Of course, sweetheart, come on.”  He sees Armie take her hand and lead her to the bed.  The way Harper climbs in and settles snugly between them suggests that this is a pretty regular occurrence.  Armie wipes her hair back from her forehead and kisses it gently.  “You’re safe here, Hops.  Just go to sleep.  We’ll protect you.”

 

He watches silently as Harper’s breathing seems to slow and even out as she feels the strength and comfort of the two men surrounding her.  Armie’s fingers seek his out in the dark, tangling together across Harper’s now peacefully sleeping form between them.  Together they hold her and keep her safe from any harm.  Just before he closes his eyes again, he sees Armie mouth “I love you” to him, and he clenches Armie’s fingers tighter and mouths the words back to him in kind.

 

He wakes the next morning to an empty bed.  He starts to panic for about 5 seconds before the smell of bacon comes wafting into the room from downstairs.  A slow smile spreads across his face as he climbs out of bed, pulls on a shirt, and follows the inviting scent of food all the way to the kitchen.

 

He finds Armie and Harper working together to make pancakes, the pile of amazing-smelling bacon already cooked and stacked on a plate for them to snack on as they work.  Ford is sitting in his booster seat watching them with wide eyes and a happy grin.

 

He smiles at the sight, his heart once again melting in his chest at this sweet display of familial bliss.  He makes his way fully into the room and grabs a piece of bacon from the pile.  “Good morning.”

 

Harper smiles and gives a frantic wave of her hand, but she doesn’t move away from Armie’s side.  “Morning!  I hope you’re hungry!”  Armie grins and Timmy eyes the impressive spread of breakfast food Armie’s managed to pull together yet again.

 

“Jesus, Armie, are you trying to fatten us up or give us all heart attacks?”  He’s mostly joking, but also slightly worried about the crazy amounts of fat and grease that they’re consuming in such a short time.

 

Armie turns to him and fake-pouts, putting a hand on a hip.  “Hey now, don’t be like that, baby!  Besides,” he moves away from the stove and crowds into Timmy’s space, his voice lowering slightly, “you can eat an entire cow in one sitting and not gain a pound, so I don’t know what you’re worried about.”  Armie winks, then leans in and kisses him right on the mouth, swiping his tongue along the seams of his lips quickly before pulling back again, a shit-eating grin on his face.

 

Timmy’s a little bit taken aback by the kiss, since aside from the small peck on the cheek last night, they hadn’t really shown much physical affection in front of the kids.  But as he flicks his eyes over to Harper, she’s smiling widely and lets out a tiny giggle.  Ford seems to not have even noticed, his attention completely pulled by something moving outside the window, probably a squirrel or other small animal running through their backyard.

 

The knowledge that he can apparently feel comfortable kissing Armie in front of the kids makes him suddenly giddy, and before Armie gets too far away, Timmy grabs him by the shirt and pulls him back, planting his lips squarely against Armie’s in another, longer kiss.  Armie smiles into it, pushing into him more firmly.  After another few seconds, Timmy pulls back with a loud ‘smack’ sound.  “There, that’s better.”  Armie chuckles and leans back in for one last quick peck before moving back over to the stove to finish the pancakes with Harper.

 

After breakfast, they spend a couple of hours sitting in the living room.  Timmy and Harper draw and color together while Armie helps Ford practice walking.  He’s able to take several quick toddling steps before he falls, and Timmy can’t keep the giddy grin off his face as he watches Armie, in all his proud father glory, softly encouraging Ford to walk over to him.  When Ford finally makes it into his arms, Armie holds him tight to his chest and kisses his hair repeatedly.

 

In the afternoon, they decide to have a picnic in the park.  It’s the same park where their spot is located, and as they pass ‘their’ tree, Timmy looks over at Armie, who’s already grinning back at him.  He reaches a hand out and Armie takes it in his, careful to keep his other hand securely on Ford’s stroller.  They lock their fingers together tightly and continue walking to the children’s play area further into the park.

 

Armie lays out a blanket for them and the food he’d packed in a small cooler.  At least it was a healthier selection this time – an assortment of fruits, vegetables, and crackers and cheese, along with some juice boxes for the kids and water for them. 

 

They’ve been at the park a couple hours when Harper suddenly announces she wants to go to the zoo.  He sees Armie hesitate for the briefest of seconds, but when he turns to look at him questioningly and he gives a short shrug in response, Armie turns back to Harper with a small smile.  “Well, I guess we could do that.”  He squats down so his face is even with Ford’s stroller.  “Whattaya think big guy?  You wanna see some cool animals at the zoo?”  Ford doesn’t seem to have any opinion at all either way, so Armie just chuckles and stands back up.  “Ok then, looks like we’re headed to the zoo!”

 

Timmy hasn’t been to the zoo in L.A. before, but he’s much too busy watching Armie interact with his kids to pay much attention to the variety of unique animals they pass as they spend the day walking around the gigantic park.  He’s seen Armie with his kids in public many times before in his other life, and he can’t help but notice the subtle differences this time.  Armie keeps looking around and behind them, as if he’s paranoid someone might come along and snatch one of them away from him suddenly.  He supposes this is a natural, if not incredibly heartbreaking, reaction for him to have, given everything that’s happened. 

 

And he notices how Harper clings to him almost at all times, only letting go for a few brief moments here and there as she goes to get a closer look at a few of the animals.  He’s used to her outgoing, fiercely independent spirit, bouncing around from person to person radiating energy and excitement.  She’s usually the center of attention in any crowd, a natural performer.  But now she’s much less animated and definitely quieter, molding herself to her father’s side as they move along from exhibit to exhibit.

 

Up until that point, everything he’d seen had made him believe that things had somehow miraculously stayed the same between all of them and that the kids had adjusted to all the abrupt and upsetting changes to their lives really well.  But now he’s starting to see the tiny cracks in the happy family façade, and his heart drops to his feet.  Of course it couldn’t possibly be that easy.  He’d been naïve to let himself think it could be.

 

Things only deteriorate as the day goes on.  When they get to the hippos, Ford starts to get fussy, probably tired from being out most of the day with a lot of stimulation.  And Harper suddenly needs to go to the bathroom, _urgently_.  Armie asks Timmy if he can take her while he tries to calm Ford down, but Harper suddenly lets out a high-pitched shriek and insists that Armie be the one to go with her.

 

Timmy can’t keep the shock from his face at her outburst, but he tries to recover quickly before she notices.  Armie definitely saw it though, because when he looks over at him, he sees the guilt and apology written all over his face.  Armie doesn’t really have time to do anything about it, though, because Harper is tugging at his hand incessantly.  Armie closes his eyes for a split second before opening them again and moving to hand Ford over to Timmy.  “I’m so sorry, do you mind?  I gotta – “

 

Timmy cuts him off with a wave and his best understanding smile, taking Ford from him easily.  “It’s fine.  Go ahead, I got this.”

 

Armie mouths a desperate “thank you” at him seconds before he’s pulled away and he and Harper go rushing off to find the nearest restroom.

 

He tries his best to soothe Ford’s cries, bouncing him and making silly faces to try to distract him.  He even tries singing a little bit, which does manage to make him stop wailing at least, but he’s still clearly agitated when Armie returns several minutes later, now carrying Harper in his arms, her splotchy red face signifying she’d also been crying.

 

Armie takes one look at Ford still fussing in Timmy’s arms and frowns, hiking Harper up a bit higher in his grip.  “I think maybe we’ve hit our limit of being out for today.  We should probably head back.”

 

Timmy agrees, and once he’s got Ford safely nestled back into the stroller, a bit quieter now but still clearly overtired and cranky, they make their way back to the car.

 

Both kids pass out almost immediately once they get moving, and Armie’s hand silently finds its way into his between them as they drive, Armie’s thumb stroking over Timmy’s knuckles soothingly.

 

The rest of the evening is fairly uneventful.  They eat a quick dinner and get the kids ready for bed.  Timmy doesn’t dare suggest being the one to bathe Harper tonight, sensing it might cause another fit and he just can’t bear the thought of that right now.  He spends a few extra minutes playing with Ford to make up for it.  Ford’s mood seems to have improved greatly once he ate and had a bit of quiet time, and Timmy enjoys watching him splash around the tub happily as he washes him.

 

Just as he’s tucking Ford into his crib, Armie and Harper walk into the room.  “Harper wanted to come say goodnight.”  Armie explains with a small smile.

 

She walks over to him and he bends down so he can be eye-level with her.  She chews her lip for a few seconds before she throws her hands around his neck and hugs him.  “I love you, Timmy,” she whispers before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

 

His eyes snap up to Armie, who he _swears_ has tears in his eyes as he stands at the other side of the room watching them, and he lets out a shuddering breath.  He hugs her tighter to him.  “Oh, sweetheart, I love you, too.  So, so much.”

 

Harper releases him long before he’s ready to let go, but he watches with teary eyes as she goes over to Ford’s crib and kisses her fingers and slips them through the slats to touch his cheek.  “Night night, Fordie.”  He’s already asleep, but he instinctively turns toward Harper’s touch for a second before settling again.

 

Timmy looks back to Armie, who now _definitely_ has tears about to spill over onto his cheeks.  Armie clears his throat and sniffles once quickly.  “Ok, come on, Harper, time for bed.”  She bounds out of the room with a smile, latching onto Armie’s outstretched hand as they make their way into the next room.

 

He’s too distracted to read tonight, so he just lays on his back and stares at the ceiling while he waits for Armie to come and join him.  About 20 minutes later, the door pushes open and Armie shuffles through, exhaustion clear in his every move.  Timmy doesn’t say anything as Armie removes his shirt and climbs into bed, just turns over to face Armie once he’s settled comfortably beside him.

 

“I’m so sorry, babe.  About earlier.  You know she really does love you, right?”  Armie’s clear concern about his feelings being hurt over Harper’s freak-out at the zoo would be endearing if it wasn’t so damn heartbreaking.

 

“Hey, don’t even worry about it.  I mean, I get it.”  He stops for a second, reconsidering his words.  “Well no, I _don’t_.  I’ve never had to experience what she’s been through.  But I know it’s been hard on her.  It’s been hard on all of you.  You’re her father, and I know how close you two are.  You don’t need to worry about me.”  He brings a hand up to smooth over Armie’s worried lines on his face.  Armie nuzzles into the touch.

 

“Fuck, you’re so amazing, you know that?  I don’t deserve you.”  Armie turns his face to kiss Timmy’s palm as it continues to caress his face.

 

“Stop that, of course you do.  You deserve everything, Armie.  Because you are just as amazing.  You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m honored to get to call you mine.”  He pulls their faces closer together so he can nuzzle their noses together softly.  Armie’s the one to close the distance between them and press their lips together in a tender kiss.

 

It only lasts a few seconds, but it’s all he needs to know things are going to be ok.  He sighs and rolls onto his back, pulling Armie with him so he’s laying half on top of him, Armie’s face tucked into his neck and one leg thrown over both of his.  It’s still early, but they’re both so physically and emotionally drained from the day that they end up falling asleep like that after just a few minutes.

 

Timmy feels a chill run through him in the middle of the night and he instinctively turns over to seek the comfort of Armie’s warmth.  But all he finds are cool, empty sheets.  He blinks his eyes awake and raises his head, looking around the room for Armie.  He’s not anywhere he can see, and after he gets his bearings, he climbs out of the bed and shuffles over to the bathroom to look for him, but Armie’s not in there, either.

 

Worry starts to spread through him slowly.  Both of the baby monitors are gone from the bedside table.  He pulls on a shirt and quickly makes his way into Harper’s room.  When he sees her sleeping peacefully in her bed, stuffed bunny tucked securely under her chin, he lets out a breath of relief and quietly backs out of the room and makes his way into Ford’s room.

 

His breath catches in his throat when he finds Armie, fast asleep in the rocking chair next to the crib, one arm outstretched over the side of the chair like he was trying to reach across and touch his son as he sleeps quietly.  He sees the monitor for Harper’s room clutched tightly in his other hand.

 

He shivers again, the crisp night air seeping into his bones as he stands there looking at them.  He knows he won’t be able to go back to sleep in the bed without Armie there, having quickly gotten used to his solid, warm presence being next to him these past weeks.  He quickly goes in search of a couple of throw blankets, finding some in the hall closet. 

 

He tip-toes back into Ford’s room and quietly closes the door.  He carefully covers Armie with one of the blankets before curling himself on the floor at Armie’s feet and pulling the other up over himself, snuggling deep into its warmth.

 

He’s awakened a few hours later by a soft hand caressing the side of his face.  “Timmy, baby, wake up.”

 

He blinks open his eyes and sees Armie leaning forward in the chair over him, his hair flopping over his face as he bends down to reach him.  “What?  What time is it?”  He looks around the room, but he sees that it’s still mostly dark out, just the faintest hint of light beginning to appear through the window.

 

“It’s still early, probably not even 6:00 yet.  Babe, what are you doing in here?”  Armie tucks a stray curl behind his ear, concern etched all over his face.

 

Timmy slowly moves his body sideways until he’s in a half-sitting position.  “I woke up and you weren’t in the bed.  I…I can’t sleep with you not beside me.”  He chews his lower lip nervously, hoping Armie isn’t upset that he intruded on his private time with his son.

 

Armie’s face smooths over into a fond smile.  “So you came in here and slept on the floor instead?”  His voice is full of adoration, but Timmy still feels a little sheepish for being so needy again.

 

“I uh…yeah?  I just wanted to be near you.”  He looks down at his lap, but quickly looks back up when he hears Armie’s quiet chuckle coming from above him.

 

“You’re such a goof!  But an adorable goof.”  Armie gives him a lopsided grin.  “Come on, let’s go back to bed.”  He offers a hand to pull Timmy up, and Timmy gratefully accepts it.

 

Once they’re both standing, he stops for a second.  “Are you sure?  I really don’t mind sleeping in here if you want to stay and be close to him.”  He steals a glance over at Ford, still sleeping soundly.  He rubs one hand over Armie’s arm supportively.

 

Armie hesitates for a split second, looking back at Ford one last time.  When he turns back, he gives Timmy a sad smile and pulls him into a hug, his face pressing into the side of Timmy’s head.  He lets out a long sigh.  “I appreciate that.  But it’s ok, really.  We should go back to our room.”  He glances down at the monitor in his hand, making sure Harper was still ok.  “Thank God she was so worn out from everything yesterday.  I don’t think she’s moved once all night.”

 

Timmy doesn’t say anything, just rubs a hand over Armie’s back soothingly.  After a few more seconds, Armie pulls back from the hug.  “Ok, come on, let’s go.”  He pulls Timmy by the hand out of the room and back into theirs, and they curl into each other on the bed, falling back asleep within minutes.

 

They decide to have a quiet day in on Sunday.  Timmy briefly wonders whether they normally go to church or not, as he knows Armie and Elizabeth do back in his other life, but when Armie makes no mention of it, he doesn’t ask.

 

They spend most of the day on the couch watching kid shows on Netflix.  Harper gets bored at one point and goes to play by herself in another area of the room for a little while before coming back to climb on Armie’s lap.  She ends up falling asleep on him just minutes before Armie himself passes out.  It’s so freaking cute, Timmy can’t stop himself from taking a sneaky picture of them.

 

Ford starts to fuss a little while later, but Timmy doesn’t want to wake Armie and Harper, so he picks him up and carries him into the kitchen, scrounging up some snacks for them to share.  Ford seems to settle pretty fast after that, like father like son, it seems.

 

He picks him back up and carries him around the house a bit, and soon enough Ford is sound asleep on his shoulder.  He goes back into the living room and sits in the recliner, Ford still securely settled in his arms, and decides that a nap sounds pretty perfect to him right about now.

 

When Jessica comes to pick up the kids that night, at 6:00 right on the dot, all hell breaks loose.  She’s just as charming as she was when she came to drop them off – the same cold demeanor and grimace on her face – and when Armie opens the door and Harper sees her standing there, she immediately starts screaming her head off and bursts into tears.  She runs to Armie and clutches onto his leg, making him almost topple over.

 

Armie gets his bearings and squats down so he can be face-to-face with his wailing daughter.  “Oh baby, please don’t do this.  We’ve talked about this, you know I hate this as much as you do, but it’s not forever!  We’ll see each other again soon, I promise!”  He’s desperately trying to simultaneously detach himself from her death grip but somehow also pull her closer as he says his goodbyes.

 

Harper continues to cry and scream “Nooo!” as he kisses her face and hair, and as soon as he tries to pull away again, she latches on even tighter to him.  Ford, who had been pretty quiet up until this point, suddenly seems to clue in that his sister is in distress and begins crying and screaming, too.

 

Timmy can’t do anything other than stand completely still, glued to the carpet as he looks on in horror and complete heartbreak at the scene unfolding in front of him.  He’d already seen the evidence that Harper had gotten much more clingy with Armie as a result of their separation from him, and he’d expected a bit of resistance at having to leave them again, but nothing could have prepared him for _this_.

 

Armie, God bless him, manages to keep his own emotions in check enough to finally pry her off of him, giving her one last kiss on her forehead as Jessica comes over to pick her up and physically carry her out the door, Harper furiously kicking and twisting her body to try to get free.  “I love you so much, angel girl, never forget that!”  Armie chokes out as they cross the threshold and step outside, Harper’s piercing cries of “Daaaaddddyyyyy” echoing in their ears until they finally hear the car door close several seconds later.

 

Ford is still wailing from his booster seat, and Armie goes over to pick him up, snuggling him close for a couple minutes until Jessica comes back to collect him as well.  She doesn’t even say anything, just holds out her hands expectantly, waiting for Armie to hand Ford over to her.

 

Armie presses several kisses into Ford’s soft hair and whispers an “I love you” before passing him over to the waiting nanny.  She takes him and grabs the diaper bag that Armie had repacked earlier in the day, shuffling out the door without a word.

 

Timmy looks over at Armie, shock and despair probably written all over his face.  But Armie doesn’t even notice, too caught up in his own heartbreak of having to say goodbye to his children _yet again_ , amidst their desperate cries to stay with their loving father.  Timmy didn’t even know his heart could break this much until this very moment, but he’s never felt so completely and totally devastated in his entire life.

 

Armie closes his eyes for a few seconds, seemingly trying to collect himself, before opening them again, a quiet determination in his eyes.  “I’m going to go upstairs.”  His voice is dull, emotionless, almost robotic in its lifeless cadence.  It chills Timmy to his core.  Armie doesn’t wait for a response before turning and heading in the direction of their bedroom.

 

Timmy is completely lost.  He has no idea what other-Timmy would do in this situation, and for the first time, he truly wishes he was here to give him some advice on how to handle this.  He was too wrapped up in his own drama before the kids came to even think about what this moment would be like for Armie, the pure torture of having to let his kids go and not see them again for another month. 

 

He’s still staring blankly at nothing several minutes later, having finally processed everything that just happened, when he realizes that amidst all the chaos of the screaming children and bitchy, impatient nannies, he never even got a chance to say goodbye to them himself.  His heart breaks all over again at the thought.

 

He finally manages to move from the spot he’s been standing on for the last 20 minutes and drags himself slowly up the stairs to find Armie.  He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, a blank look on his face, just staring at the floor.  He doesn’t even look up when Timmy comes in the room.

 

Timmy sits down next to him gently, trying not to disturb him.  They sit for several minutes in complete silence.  Finally, Timmy can’t stand it anymore and he wraps his arm around Armie’s shoulders and pulls him into a sideways hug.

 

The second Armie’s head hits his shoulder, the dam breaks wide open and Armie begins sobbing uncontrollably, his tears instantly soaking through Timmy’s shirt, making it stick to his skin.  Timmy holds him close, rocking him back and forth as he continues to weep.  Timmy isn’t sure how he manages not to completely break down at the sound of Armie’s soul wrenching cries, but he focuses all his energy on comforting Armie as best he can, moving them to lie down in a more comfortable position on the bed as he continues to hold and soothe Armie for what feels like hours. 

 

It might actually be hours, because when Armie’s cries finally die down to a few last hiccupping whimpers, it’s completely dark outside.  Timmy’s left arm is completely numb from Armie laying on it and his stomach is rumbling from not having any dinner, but he doesn’t give a fuck.  He’s not moving from this spot for anything right now.  He uses his other hand to wipe Armie’s sweat-damp hair from his face as he presses gentle kisses onto his temple, murmuring soft words of love and comfort to him every now and then.

 

Armie finally manages to fall asleep at some point, his shaky breaths slowly evening out as he finally succumbs to his complete and utter exhaustion.

 

Timmy waits just long enough to make sure Armie is truly asleep before he finally lets the tears he’s been holding in so desperately make their way to the surface.  Wet, hot streaks spill continuously down his cheeks as he silently cries into Armie’s hair, clutching him closely while trying not to wake him as his entire body shakes with unbearable sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I'M EVIL, I'M SOOOOOO SORRY!!! If it helps any, I was sobbing while writing this, so you guys are not alone! *bawls*
> 
> And just in case anyone wonders, I wanted to clarify that Jessica, while she is definitely a *total* bitch to Armie and by extension Timmy, she is otherwise a perfectly decent and capable caregiver to the kids in normal circumstances, so I wasn't trying to allude to any kind of possible abuse happening with her. I just envision her as one of Liz's bitchy friends who of course now hates Armie after the whole cheating thing, and she resents the fact that she's the one who has to shuttle the kids back and forth to Armie's instead of Liz doing it herself. But attitude issues aside, she can and does take care of the kids perfectly well, even if she isn't the warmest person ever. Harper's extreme reaction to seeing her was much more to do with being traumatized by having to leave her father again than it was about being afraid of Jessica or anything like that. Just to be clear.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii!! I'm back, baby!! :D
> 
> Thank you all so very much for your patience in getting this next chapter up, as sometimes real life stuff gets in the way of things. But I'm back now and should hopefully be able to continue posting fairly regularly from here on out. :)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, thank you all for your lovely comments, messages, kudos, and just general outpouring of love for this story as well as for the companion piece. It truly means the world to me that people are as invested in this as we are. I hope you enjoy this chapter! More will be coming soooooon! <333

Timmy wakes up the next morning to find Armie didn’t get up to go for his usual run.  He doesn’t know if this is normal behavior for him after his weekend with the kids or not, but he decides to let him keep sleeping either way.  The previous evening had been brutal on them both, but he can’t even begin to imagine the depths of pain Armie feels every time he has to watch his children being taken from their home.  Harper’s cries still echo in his ears, and he has to suppress the urge to break out in a fresh round of tears.

 

He stays in bed as long as he can, just listening to Armie breathe quietly next to him, a reminder that even though they’ve lost so much in this life, they still have each other, and they will get through this together.

 

Eventually though, he has to get up because he’s due to be on set to shoot his sitcom episode at 9:00 am, and the clock is showing it’s already almost 8:00.  He places a featherlight kiss in Armie’s hair before slipping out of bed as quietly as possible and jumping in the shower.  Armie’s still asleep when he’s dressed and ready to leave, so he leaves a note saying “I love you, be back as soon as shooting ends” next to Armie’s head on the pillow before he runs out the door.

 

He gets to set with five minutes to spare and is immediately greeted with smiles by the cast and crew before being quickly shuffled off to hair and makeup.  The day goes pretty well, and by the time he walks off the stage to go home, he’s incredibly excited about the possibilities this might bring.

 

Pretty much everyone is sweet and welcoming, a couple of the cast members actually saying they were excited to work with him after they’d seen some of his previous work.  It’s good to know that there were still people in the industry who didn’t judge him on his personal life over his talent.  He just wishes more of them were casting directors.  There’s one PA who’s a bit chilly toward him, so he keeps his distance as much as possible.

 

He’s playing a snarky college student who ends up being a foil to one of the main teenage cast members.  The writers tell him they encourage ad-libbing, so he revels in getting to use his innate talent for improv, much to the amusement of everyone on set.

 

He gets home to find Armie in a surprisingly good mood.  He’s experimenting with something in the kitchen, and after he greets him with a wide smile and a quick kiss on the mouth, he holds out a spoon of some kind of sauce.  “Here, try this, tell me what you think.”

 

Timmy tastes it and is shocked by how delicious it is.  “Mmmm, that’s amazing, babe!  What’s in it?”

 

Armie just winks and grin slyly.  “A good chef never reveals his secrets.”  Armie hip-checks him playfully and goes back to stirring something in another pot on the stove.

 

Timmy is shocked to see Armie so giddy, considering the fact that when he left this morning, he expected to come home to find Armie broken and depressed.  He’s tempted to say something about last night, but the more he looks at Armie’s smiling face as he scurries about the kitchen, he can’t bring himself to do it.  The last thing he wants to do is ruin this lovely moment.  Besides, if he’s learned anything about this world, it’s that his and Armie’s relationship is pretty rock solid, so if Armie felt the need to talk about things, he’s sure he would feel perfectly comfortable doing so.

 

After dinner, they go upstairs and Armie makes love to him slowly, spooned up close behind him with their hands clasped together on Timmy’s stomach, holding him tightly.  Armie’s hips barely even move, just short, tiny thrusts as they spend what feels like hours just lying together with Armie deep inside him, pressing soft kisses all over his shoulders and neck until Timmy is shivering with pleasure and bursting with love.  It’s exactly what they need after the emotional rollercoaster from the past weekend – reconnecting in mind, body and soul in the most intimate way possible. 

 

When they finally come, sweaty and spent, Armie kisses him deeply for several minutes before promptly falling asleep with his face buried in Timmy’s neck, the warm, steady puff of his breath tickling Timmy as it brushes over the hairs at his nape.  Timmy stays awake for a while longer, staring up at the ceiling and letting his mind wander, his fingertips slowly ghosting over Armie’s arms as they surround him, making him feel safe and loved.  The last thought he has before he drifts off to sleep is that he can do this.  He can deal with whatever disappointments and heartbreak that this world throws at him because what he has with Armie here is worth a thousand times that.

 

The next two days of filming fly by and before he realizes it, he’s saying his goodbyes and hugging everyone as he wraps his scenes for the episode.  He makes sure to thank them for the opportunity, and as he’s about to leave the stage, the director pulls him aside.  He mentions that he’s working on trying to get a small indie film off the ground in the next few months, and he might be interested in having Timmy play one of the roles.  They swap contact info and the director promises to be in touch with him soon, and Timmy’s grin is so wide the whole way home that by the time he tells Armie the good news, his cheeks are aching. 

 

But Armie quickly distracts him from the pain by sucking him off against the kitchen counter, making him come so hard his knees buckle and Armie just barely has time to catch him before he collapses onto the tile.  He returns the favor later while they’re in the shower, Armie’s thick, wet cock sliding easily in and out of his mouth as he looks up at him through dripping curls, seeing Armie’s mouth hanging open and his eyes closed as he enjoys the sensation of Timmy’s wet heat engulfing him.  Armie comes with a hand twisted tightly in his hair and Timmy’s name tumbling from his lips like a prayer.

 

Exactly one month after he woke up in this alternate life, he gets another call from Luca.  He’s just walking through the door with a handful of groceries when he feels his phone buzzing in his pocket.  He quickly rushes into the kitchen to put down the bags and fishes his phone out.  When he sees the name flashing on the screen, he feels simultaneously elated and just a bit nervous.  Luca was the only other person who knew the truth about what was going on, but he’d let himself get so comfortable in this life for a month now that he wasn’t sure he wanted to be reminded of the full reality of the situation.  But still, it was _Luca_ , and no matter what world he’s in, he adores the man and is always happy to talk to him.

 

He sees Armie lying on the couch with his eyes closed and his earbuds in, completely unaware that Timmy had even come home.  He quietly slips through the sliding glass door that leads to their backyard and presses ‘answer’ just before the call goes to voicemail.  “Luca!  It’s so good to hear from you, man!”  He settles onto one of the chairs by their small table outside.

 

“ _Ciao, mio caro_!”  Luca’s gentle lilt filters through the line and Timmy can’t help but smile.  It always transports him right back to their summer in Italy, to the weeks spent falling in love with the gorgeous countryside, the delicious food, and especially with each other as they all worked so closely to bring the amazing love story of Elio and Oliver to life on screen.  He knows that in this world, it hadn’t been _exactly_ the same experience that he’d had in his own, but he knows that all the same feelings were involved and that they became a part of his family in much the same way the Armie and Luca in his other life had.  It seems some things would always be true in any life.

 

He hears Luca hesitate a minute before continuing, his voice going lower in an almost conspiratorial tone.  “Now, which Timmy am I speaking to this time?”

 

His smile falters a bit, not sure if Luca will be disappointed to learn it’s still him and not his own Timmy.  “Uhh, yeah about that.  It’s still me, I mean…it’s the one from the other world, not the one you know and love.”  His words come out in a rushed jumble, anxious about upsetting the man he owes practically everything to.  He takes a short breath before adding a mumbled, “Sorry,” like it’s his fault he hasn’t figured out how to switch back yet.

 

“Oh Timmy, my darling, you don’t need to apologize.  I’m always happy to talk to any version of you.  I was just hoping you had found a way to get back to where you belong by now.  I know you were pretty upset the last time we spoke.”

 

Timmy closes his eyes briefly in relief, letting out a long breath.  When he opens his eyes again, he makes sure to keep one of them trained on Armie through the glass door as he naps on the couch, just in case he should wake.  This is definitely _not_ a conversation he wants Armie to walk in on.  At least not yet.  “Well, I _was_ , at the time.  But Luca, I’ve actually managed to be really happy here.  You know, with Armie and everything.  Yeah, there are definitely challenges I didn’t have in my other life, and sometimes it really sucks, but these last few weeks getting to really know what being with Armie is like…I don’t know, man, I’m not sure if I even _want_ to go back, anymore.”

 

He can hear Luca’s sad sigh and it hits him right in the pit of his stomach.  “ _Tesoro_ , have you told Armie the truth yet?”  His tone is more sympathetic than accusatory, but Timmy can’t help but bristle a bit at his words, the sharp pang of guilt about keeping this secret from Armie coming back with a vengeance after he’d managed to push it away in the last couple of weeks.

 

“Ummm, well no, not…not exactly.”  He stutters his answer, knowing it isn’t what Luca wants to hear.

 

“Timmy…”

 

“No, Luca, you don’t understand, ok?  I _tried_!”  He cuts Luca off, trying desperately to explain himself.  “I really did, I swear!  Right after I got here.  But when I even _suggested_ that there might be a world where we didn’t end up together and happy, he totally freaked out on me!  You didn’t see him, he was so upset at the idea that he could ever be too scared to be with me, he just totally shut down.  If I told him that that world actually _does_ exist and that I’m really from there and lived that life, I think it would truly devastate him.  And it’s just…he’s already lost so much and has gone through so much pain here.  I just couldn’t take the image of us living happily ever after away from him, too, ya know?  I couldn’t bear to hurt him like that.”  He’s now up out of his chair and pacing around the backyard, frantically casting glances back into the house to make sure Armie hadn’t stirred, his voice having grown louder as he rambled his explanation.

 

Luca is quiet for a long time on the other end, and the silence screams at him like a warning siren.  He knows whatever Luca says next is not going to be what he wants to hear.  “Timmy…” he starts, and Timmy draws in a deep breath in preparation.  “That’s very sweet and noble of you, to care so much about protecting Armie.  I know you love him deeply and want what’s best for him, that much has always been clear.”  He pauses, and Timmy lets himself hope that maybe that’s all he’s going to say.  Maybe Luca will let him off the hook and he can stop worrying about the other shoe dropping on his happiness.

 

“But…” Aaaand there it is.  _Shit_.  “Don’t you think he’d rather know the truth about who you are, in case this change ends up being permanent?  You know he’ll love you know matter what, but it’s better to explain things now, before you get so lost in this life that you forget it wasn’t actually yours to begin with.”

 

 _Permanent_.  The word sounded so...final.  Even though he’d already started coming to terms about maybe not ever going back to his original life, had even started to think it might be for the best, if in this one he could be with Armie, hearing Luca put it in those terms really hit him hard. 

 

There were things about his other life he’d surely miss - some great friends he’d made from acting, and the opportunities he’d been given in the past couple of years were more than he’d ever hoped he could achieve so early on in his career.  And here, he was still fighting just to get any role at all. 

 

But then there was _Armie_ , who in his own life, was only his friend, his pal, his _brother_.  And while he treasured what they had there, what they have here is _everything_ and more than he could ever wish for.  He is afraid to mess that up, but he also knows that Luca is right.  He deserves to know the truth.  It’s not like he can go the rest of their lives without Armie noticing subtle differences in him and realizing he’s not the same Timmy he fell in love with and married.  He’d already picked up on some things, and Timmy had tried to avoid the real reason for the changes, but he knows he won’t be able to do that forever.

 

“Timmy?”  Luca’s soft voice brings him back to himself.

 

He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.  “Yeah, I’m here.”

 

“You know I only want you both to be happy, right?  You two are dear to me, and even though you may not be the Timmy I’ve known for the past two years, I know in my heart that you are essentially the same sweet, talented boy I fell in love with that summer in Italy, and I want you to live the best life you possibly can, in whichever world you are in.  Just trust Armie, he will understand, but you have to give him the chance to love _you_ , not the Timmy he _thinks_ you are.”

 

Timmy closes his eyes briefly and nods, even though Luca can’t see him.  It makes sense – this Armie is in love with the Timmy from this world, but if he wants a real chance at a life with Armie here, he needs to explain that he isn’t that Timmy, and just pray that any version of Armie will love any version of him. 

 

“I understand what you’re saying, Luca, I do.  I’ll try to talk to Armie soon, I promise.  I just have to figure out how.”  He blows out a long breath and sees Armie start to stir inside.  “Listen, Luca, I gotta go.  But thank you.  I really do appreciate you trying to help.”

 

“Ok, darling.  Just keep me informed on what’s happening, yes?  I care for you deeply and just want what’s best for you.”  The affection in Luca’s voice is clear and Timmy knows he means it.

 

“I know, Luca.  You mean the world to me, too.  I’ll talk to you soon, I promise.”

 

“Ok then, good.  _Ciao, mio amico_.”  The line disconnects, and he takes a deep breath to steady himself before going back inside.

 

When Armie sees him come back into the room, he gives him a sleepy smile.  “Hey, you.”  He yawns and stretches his back, taking his earbuds out.  “When did you get home?”

 

“A little bit ago.  I didn’t want to disturb you.”  He suddenly remembers that the bags of groceries are still on the counter.  Luckily there wasn’t anything frozen in them, but there was still stuff he needed to keep cold.  He moves over to the bags and begins putting things away. 

 

After a minute, Armie comes up and wraps his arms around him from behind, nuzzling his face into the back of his neck.  “Mmm, you look so sexy doing that.”

 

Timmy can’t help but snort in amusement.  “What, putting away groceries?  That’s a pretty low bar you got, there.”

 

Armie tightens his hold on his waist and begins licking the outside of his ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine.  “You always look sexy.  I’m constantly in awe of how you can make something so mundane look like foreplay.”  Armie closes his teeth around his earlobe and tugs lightly, and Timmy can’t bite back the small moan that comes out of him at the sensation.

 

Armie’s hands slowly start to slide down toward his cock, and Timmy wants nothing more than to melt into Armie’s touch and let him take him right there, but the anxiety he thought he’d pushed away has come roaring back following Luca’s phone call, and he’s not really in the mood right now.

 

He reaches down and grabs Armie’s hands with his own, slowly pulling them away from his body as he turns around to face Armie.  He sees the slight confusion and hurt on Armie’s face and does his best to not let it tear him apart.  The last thing he wants to do is cause Armie pain, which is why this whole thing is so hard.  “As much as I’d _love_ to let you continue, I’m kinda tired.  Can we just...I dunno, cuddle together for a bit?”

 

Armie eyes him for a minute before nodding slowly, a measured smile crossing his face.  “Sure, babe.  Whatever you want.”  Armie leans in and plants a soft kiss against his lips before pulling back and taking Timmy’s hand.  “Let’s go relax for a bit.  But remember we have dinner tonight with Todd and Greg.  It’s the only night they could get a sitter.  We’re meeting them at 8.”

 

He vaguely remembers seeing the dinner scheduled on their calendar.  They were friends of Armie’s from the restaurant that he’d met at their party a couple weeks ago and he liked them well enough.  Maybe the distraction will be good for him.  “Right, of course.  Yeah, it’ll be nice to see them.”

 

They end up lying quietly in bed, Timmy sprawled over Armie’s chest, slipping in and out of consciousness as Armie holds him loosely with one arm and with the other attempts to read an e-book on his phone. 

 

In the moments Timmy is awake, he listens to Armie’s steady heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt where his face is currently pressed.  His mind runs through everything he’s been through with this Armie since he woke up in that hotel room in Austin a month ago and stumbled into a life where they were married and happy.  He’s never known a love like this before, and he never wants to know another one, either.  Armie, in either world, is his everything.  And that will never change.

 

Armie’s arm starts rubbing up and down his back in a soothing motion, and he suddenly realizes his breathing has sped up and his muscles are tense.  And of course, Armie noticed.  They are so in tune with each other, it’s almost scary.  He doesn’t say anything, just turns his head ever-so-slightly to press a soft kiss to Armie’s chest to let him know he realizes what he’s doing and appreciates it. 

 

Timmy doesn’t ever want to lose this, the easy way they are with each other, the quiet supportiveness of just _being there_.  He knows his Armie is the same with him in his other life as well, just under different circumstances and expressed in different ways.  He thinks about what Luca said, about how he needs to give this Armie a chance to love this version of himself.  It makes perfect sense, but it still scares him.

 

Eventually, they get up and start getting ready for their dinner with Armie’s friends.  He’s quiet on the drive over to the restaurant, but if Armie suspects something is wrong, he doesn’t show it.

 

They exchange hugs with Todd and Greg when they find them already seated in a booth in the back of the restaurant, and Timmy does his best to keep up with the flow of conversation between them.  But soon enough, he starts to zone out as his mind is pulled back to his talk with Luca that afternoon. 

 

He wishes he could stop worrying about it, could just enjoy the evening and come up with a plan tomorrow.  He wants to cherish every second he has with this Armie, because he honestly doesn’t know if it will last forever, and maybe that’s the part that scares him the most.  He’d let himself get comfortable here, but maybe he shouldn’t have.  It makes everything so much harder.

 

As he watches Armie sitting across from him, happy and carefree, laughing at something his friend just said, he just hopes that when he does tell him the truth, it doesn’t mean losing him for good.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fair warning, this chapter and the next (because, surprise, surprise, I got carried away again and am splitting what was going to be one chapter up into two, lol) are basically just an elaborate excuse for some jealous Armie and some good old fashioned smut, haha. But seeing as after these chapters, the plot/angst will be ramping up quite a bit, I figured you all could use a bit of hot sexy times first. So enjoy! ;D
> 
> All your comments/kudos/love for this fic and the companion story make my heart so full and happy. Thank you so very much for the unending support and amazing feedback. <333

Timmy has every intention of talking to Armie about the whole ‘I’m from another life where we aren’t together’ thing after his phone call with Luca, he really does, but then things get busy and he hardly sees Armie at all for the next several days.  Armie’s been covering at the restaurant every night that week because the other chef is on vacation, and Timmy’s usually gone to auditions or meetings during the days, so their schedules just haven’t quite synced up enough for him to have a major life-changing discussion that will most definitely destroy the perfect bubble of happiness they’ve been existing in for weeks.  It’s really not his fault that they’re just so busy all the time.

 

He manages to get a callback for an audition he was quite excited about the first time he read the script.  It’s for an indie movie with a big ensemble cast, and there are some pretty big names already attached.  He goes in to read for it several times, each time getting more and more excited that he might actually get the part.  When he gets a call to go in one more time that Friday afternoon, it’s down to just him and one other guy, and they’re reading for the director and executive producer.  He gives it his all, and he when he walks out of the room, he sighs in relief because he knows he _killed it_.

 

So when Brian calls a couple hours later just as he’s walking out of his new favorite coffee shop a few blocks from their house, he answers the phone with a huge grin, expecting it to be good news.  When Brian tells him they decided to go with the other guy, one who didn’t have more than two minor acting credits to his name (yes, he did look him up while he was waiting for his coffee), he’s pretty devastated and more than a little frustrated. 

 

He really thought things were starting to look up for him, but it looks like maybe the sitcom had been a fluke.  None of the other auditions he’s gone on since then have led anywhere, and he’s trying not to lose hope, but it’s difficult.

 

By the time he gets home, it’s almost dark, and he’s worked himself up into a ball of frenetic energy.  After reading that many times for the part and getting so close, to lose it at the last second just makes him a little crazy.  He seriously needs to blow off some steam, and he has an idea of something that just might help.  Luckily Armie finally has a night off, too, so he can also use it as a way to spend some time with him.

 

He finds Armie organizing some paperwork in the study.  When Armie sees him, his eyes light up and he gives him a tired smile.  “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?  I feel like I haven’t seen you all week!”  Armie moves around the desk to cross the room and give him a quick peck on the mouth.  “How did it go?”

 

The answer must be written all over his face, because a second later Armie’s pulling him into a giant hug and holding him tight.  “Oh babe, I’m so sorry.  I know how much you wanted that part.  They’re idiots not to see how perfect you are for it.”  He feels Armie press a couple kisses into his hair before pulling back and looking him in the eye again.  “Are you ok?”

 

Timmy scrubs a hand through his hair and nods.  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.  It just really sucks, ya know.  I was so close.”

 

Armie’s hand comes up to stroke his cheek.  “I know, baby.”  Armie leans in and presses his lips for Timmy’s forehead in a gentle kiss.  When he pulls back again, he lets out a long sigh.  “Listen, I’m too worn out to cook tonight, so I was just going to order some Thai food, are you hungry?”

 

Timmy shakes his head and sways a little on his feet.  “Actually, I have another idea.  I really need to blow off some steam, so I was thinking we could try out that new club that just opened a couple of blocks from here.  I checked out their website and they’re having a half-price special on drinks for their grand opening.  What do you think?”  He blinks up at Armie, a hopeful grin on his face.

 

But Armie is not impressed.  He lets out a quiet groan.  “Timmy, you know how much I hate dancing in public.  And I’m so exhausted from this week covering for Adam.  Why don’t you just go and have a good time without me?”

 

Timmy pushes out his bottom lip in what he hopes is a sexy pout.  “But you have to come!  The whole point was so we could do something together.  It wouldn’t be any fun to go without you.”  He leans up and nuzzles into Armie’s neck, trying to weaken his resolve with a few tiny kisses right below his Adam’s apple.

 

“Can’t we just stay here and be together?  I can think of a few ways we can work off some of your pent-up energy.”  He can hear the smirk in Armie’s voice, and when he leans back and looks up, Armie has one eyebrow raised and his mouth quirked up.

 

As tempting as that is, and he definitely _will_ be taking Armie up on that offer at some point, tonight he really just wants to go out and get lost in a sea of people as he dances the night away.  He _needs_ this after the stress of this week.  He decides to pull out the big guns and turns his patented puppy dog eyes up to Armie in silent pleading as he bites at his lower lip, just a hint of teeth visible.  “Come on, Armie.  _Pleeeaase_??”  He knows he’s playing dirty, but he’s out of other options.

 

He sees Armie stare back at him hard.  “Oh, now that’s just unfair.”  He does, and he relishes that clearly Armie can’t say no to him.  He holds his ground and bats his eyes innocently.  He can see the exact moment the resistance leaves Armie’s features and he slumps forward to press his forehead to Timmy’s.  “Ok, _fine_.  We’ll go.  Just don’t expect me to dance!”

 

Timmy squeals in delight and bounces up and down on his heels.  He kisses Armie’s mouth quickly before turning away to head upstairs to change his clothes into more club-appropriate attire.  Armie just watches him go, a tired bemused look on his face.

 

They get to the club a little before 10 and there’s already quite an impressive line to get in.  Luckily it moves quickly, but Timmy can already feel Armie getting agitated beside him.  He takes Armie’s hand in his and squeezes, hoping it would help calm him.  Armie lets out a slow breath and turns to him, his lips twitching upwards in a slight smile.  Timmy grins back and snuggles into Armie’s side as they make their way to the front of the line.

 

Once they finally get inside, Armie makes a beeline for the bar and orders two shots of whiskey and a beer.  Timmy isn’t really in the mood to drink, so he just gets a water and takes the stool next to Armie as Armie downs the shots quickly.  They sit together for a few minutes, just watching the hordes of dancers on the dancefloor jump and gyrate to the thumpa thumpa of the music blasting from the sound system.

 

Soon Timmy feels his body swaying in his seat and he can’t keep himself away from the dancefloor any longer.  He jumps off his stool and nods toward the throng of people as he holds out his hand.  “Come on!”  He has to yell to be heard over the pumping bass.

 

Armie looks at him like he’s grown a second head and scoffs.  “Uh, did you forget the part where I said I wasn’t dancing?  I agreed to come, but I’m staying right here.  You go right ahead.”  He raises his beer in a salute before taking a long pull.

 

Timmy tries to give him the pout again, but Armie just shakes his head.  “Nope, that’s not gonna work this time.  Go, enjoy yourself.”  He pulls Timmy in for a short, chaste kiss before giving him a shove toward the dancefloor.  Timmy stumbles a couple steps before regaining his balance and sending a grin back to Armie over his shoulder as he makes his way into the crowd of writhing bodies.

 

It feels like it’s been forever since he’s done this.  Fame, with all its great perks, also comes with some unforeseen drawbacks.  Namely that he has to be much more careful about how he presents himself in public.  His natural tendency to be awkward and rambly has been fairly well received so far, but it hasn’t stopped Brian and other members of his team from urging him to be a bit more reserved and professional now that the world is watching his every move.

 

But in this world, hardly anyone knows or cares who he is, and it gives him the kind of freedom to really let loose and be himself that he hasn’t felt in a long time.  He closes his eyes and lets the music flow through him as he begins to move to the rhythm of the beat, completely blocking out everything and everyone else as he slowly loses himself in it.

 

He’s probably been dancing a good half hour, his clothes and hair damp with sweat from jumping and twisting, when he feels a gentle hand land on his shoulder.  He knows immediately that it’s far too small to be Armie’s, so he pops his eyes open and turns around to see who it is.

 

He comes face to face with a kid who couldn’t be more than 19 or 20, based on his boyish looks and the stamp on his hand that signified he wasn’t old enough to drink.  He’s an inch or two shorter than Timmy, with dark brown eyes, shiny black hair and soft, delicate features much like his own.  And just as skinny, too.  He’s smiling shyly at Timmy with his eyes cast slightly downward.

 

Timmy returns the smile and, since it doesn’t seem like the kid is going to actually speak to him first, he decides to try to break the ice.  “Hi.”  He gives an encouraging look, wondering if this is another rare fan encounter or something.

 

“H-hi!”  The kid stutters slightly and ducks his head.  “Umm, sorry to bother you.  But I couldn’t help but notice you out here dancing by yourself.  And uhh, well, you’re really good.  Like you’re really into it.  It’s really hot.”  The kid blushes bright red, and Timmy is a little dumbfounded.

 

This kid is actually _hitting on him_?!  He honestly wasn’t expecting that.  But before he has a chance to say anything, the kid starts to ramble again.  “So I was just uhh wondering, if maybe, I don’t know, if I could dance with you?”  His face is still beet red and his eyes are cast somewhere around his neck, unable to make eye contact with Timmy until he finally finishes speaking, giving a quick quirk of his lips as he waits for an answer.

 

Timmy’s incredibly flattered at the unexpected attention.  The kid is obviously shy and very sweet, probably fresh out of high school and inexperienced with guys.  He doesn’t want to make him feel bad.  He gives him a gentle smile and asks for his name, which turns out to be Tyler.  “Hi Tyler, I’m Timmy.”  He reaches out his hand for Tyler to shake, which he does after a beat of hesitation.  “Listen, I’m really flattered, but uh,” he holds his left hand up between them so his wedding band is clearly visible, “I’m afraid I’m already taken.  I’m sorry.”  He gives an apologetic smile and a slight shrug.

 

Tyler’s eyes go wide with shock and disappointment.  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –“ he cuts himself off when Timmy waves his hand to let him know it’s fine. 

 

Timmy expects him to turn away and try to find someone more available to awkwardly flirt with, but when he hesitates, Timmy quirks his head in question.  “Umm, well it’s just…do you think I could maybe just have _one_ dance, then?  I swear I won’t do anything inappropriate, just dancing.  It’s just…you’re a really good dancer.”  He smiles nervously and looks at the floor.

 

Now it’s Timmy’s turn to chew his lip.  He casts a glance over to the bar and he sees Armie has finished his beer and is motioning to the bartender for another one.  His shoulders are hunched and he doesn’t look like particularly happy to be there.

 

When Timmy looks back at Tyler, he sees the hopeful look in his eyes and it’s totally endearing.  The poor kid must really want to dance with him.  He steals another quick look over to Armie, who takes another long sip of his beer, completely oblivious to the goings on over on the dancefloor.  He sighs and shrugs one shoulder.  _What harm could one dance be_?  “All right, I guess that would be ok.”

 

Tyler’s grin is blinding, and Timmy can’t help but mirror it as they begin to sway to the pulsing rhythm of the music.  They start out facing each other, keeping a respectable distance between them.  But soon enough Timmy gets so into the movements of his own body, he doesn’t notice when Tyler moves behind him until his feels his hands land softly just above his waist. 

 

“Is this ok?”  His question is significantly less nervous sounding than earlier, but he still hears the slight hesitation in his voice, clearly not wanting to cross any personal boundaries. 

 

At first Timmy wants to move away, but then he figures as long as Tyler’s hands don’t travel any lower, it wouldn’t be a big deal.  He nods slightly, and he feels Tyler’s hold on him get a little firmer, their bodies pressed just a bit closer together now.

 

As much as he wishes it was Armie he was dancing with, he can’t deny that it feels kinda nice to have someone else to share this with.  He’s always loved dancing – it brings him a strange sense of calm when his mind gets a little too overwhelmed.  And there’s nothing like being pressed close to someone else as you lose yourself in the melodies and rhythms and let your body say everything you’re feeling.  He wishes Armie wasn’t so self-conscious about it so he could share this with him, but he knows it’s not really something Armie is likely to get over anytime soon.  So for now, this sweet, kinda awkward kid is a decent enough substitute as he lets himself unwind from the stress of the week.

 

The song they’ve been dancing to fades into another one, and the hands on his hips disappear suddenly.  He cranes his neck around to see if everything’s ok, but when he sees Tyler’s utterly panicked face, he knows something is very wrong.  He follows Tyler’s eyeline to see what has him so upset, and that’s when he sees Armie coming straight toward them, a glower on his face and his hands clenched tightly at his sides.  If looks could kill, they’d both be dead right then.

 

Timmy’s eyes go wide when Armie reaches them, Armie’s nostrils flaring with anger and clear jealousy.  He’s not sure how to react to this.  He’s never seen Armie act this way around him.  He’s never had a reason to, since Timmy’s been so wrapped up in only Armie since he’s been in this life.

 

He hears Tyler start to splutter an explanation behind him, can see him in his peripheral vision moving farther away as Armie just stands there glaring daggers at him.  “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to – we were just dancing, I swear!  I’m so, so sorry!” 

 

Just as Timmy turns to try to console poor Tyler, who was clearly about to have a panic attack, he sees him quickly retreat into the crowd of people around them.  He feels terrible for him, knowing he should have just refused the dance in the first place.  But then again, he didn’t actually do anything _wrong_ , it was a completely harmless dance, and Armie’s overreaction is baffling.

 

He starts to tell him as much, but before he can get a word out, Armie quickly whips around behind him and both of Armie’s hands are on hips in a grasp tight enough to leave bruises.  He lets out a quiet hiss at the contact, not sure what Armie was planning to do but too stunned to put up much resistance.

 

He definitely doesn’t expect Armie to start swaying his own hips in time to the music, pressing his hands into Timmy’s hips harder and purposefully maneuvering him to match Armie’s movements as they begin to dance together, Armie molded tightly to his back.

 

Timmy has no clue what else to do here, so he just goes along with it, letting Armie take the lead as he pulls them impossibly closer, their entire bodies glued together in the middle of the dancefloor as they continue to sway in time to the pulsing beat.  He can feel the outline of Armie’s hard cock pressing into his lower back, and his breath catches when Armie begins licking around the outside of his ear.  When Armie grinds his hips into his ass, he lets out a short, high-pitched whine which he desperately hope is drowned out by the deafening music.

 

He’s on his way to being fully hard himself, and then Armie moves his head down lower and starts sucking a bruise into the side of his neck, and he suddenly forgets how to breathe.  When he collects himself enough to speak, he turns his head towards Armie and murmurs, “I thought you hated dancing.” 

 

His eyes are closed, his voice a sultry mix of teasing and arousal.  He realizes now that Armie’s getting off on marking his territory in the middle of this huge crowd of people, and it’s fucking _hot_ , but he can’t stop himself from having a little fun at Armie’s expense when he practically had to drag him here in the first place.

 

He can feel the growl Armie makes against the side of his throat, and then Armie raises his head so his lips are brushing the outside of his ear again.  “I do.  But if anyone’s hands are going to be on your hips, they’re going to be _mine_.”  His voice is low and dangerous, full of unchecked heat and jealousy, and Timmy has to concentrate all of his energy into not coming in his pants right there.  Armie bites down on his earlobe, hard, and Timmy shudders and gasps at the sensation.  He can feel Armie’s fingers twitch on his hips, digging in just a bit harder as they rock together to the music.

 

He never realized something like this would turn him on so much, but it definitely does.  He can’t even remember the kid’s name he was dancing with earlier, his entire mind chanting a chorus of “Armie Armie Armie” at him, getting louder with each sway of their hips.  He leans his head back so Armie has better access to his neck and throat, and he brings one hand up and back to land in Armie’s hair, pressing tightly to hold Armie in place against him as Armie bites and sucks his way down the exposed column.

 

When Armie moves one of his hands from pressing into his hips to up under his shirt, roaming over his smooth skin for a few seconds before pinching one of his nipples, Timmy gasps and whines, pushing back against him harder as he feels his cock start leaking into his underwear.  He suddenly needs to look at Armie, needs to see his face as they dance together in this crowded club.

 

He slowly twists himself around so he’s facing Armie, can see the fire in his eyes that reaches between them and sets his entire body blazing with the heat of it.  Armie’s hand has one of his hips in a vice-grip, and he uses the other which is now across his back to slam them together again, their cocks sliding against each other as they grind their hips together.

 

Timmy is hypnotized by the rhythm of their bodies, somehow forgetting that there’s anyone else in the room but the two of them.  He licks a long stripe up Armie’s throat and nips at his jaw, causing Armie to growl low in his throat and scratch his nails down Timmy’s back.

 

Just as he’s about to lose himself completely and snake his hand into Armie’s pants and give them what they both so clearly need, someone bumps into Armie’s shoulder, knocking them both out of their lust-filled haze.

 

Timmy swallows thickly as he tries to regain some composure, knowing his erection is probably blatantly obvious to anyone who might be looking.  He takes a slow breath and reaches up on his tip-toes to murmur into Armie’s ear.  “You about ready to get out of here?”

 

Armie’s resounding “Fuck yes!” goes straight to his dick as they quickly stumble their way out of the club and back toward their house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, sorry to leave it there, but there's still LOTS more smutty goodness to come next chapter, I promise! So stay tuned! ;D


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey! Sorry for the delay in getting this posted. Real life stuff has been a bit crazy lately. Hopefully this nice helping of smut will make up for it, lol. Like seriously, this chapter is basically just straight up porn, with a small bit of fluff tacked on at the end. ENJOY! :D
> 
> Your comments and kudos make give me life. Thank you to every single one of you who takes the time to let me know you're enjoying this story. It honestly means the world to me. <333

It’s a good thing they are only a couple blocks from home because Timmy’s not sure he would have survived without being able to have Armie inside him for much longer.  As it is, he takes much longer than necessary to unlock the front door, his hands fumbling with the keys as Armie bites at his neck and palms his aching cock through his pants.  It’s truly a special kind of torture to have to try to focus when all he wants is to bend over and let Armie take him right that second.

 

He finally manages to get the right key in the lock and they burst through the door, Armie’s mouth on his before he can even make it two steps inside.  He barely manages to kick a foot out to close the door before he’s tumbling backwards into several different pieces of furniture, knocking over a lamp somewhere along the way as he sheds his shirt.

 

When the backs of his knees hit the coffee table, he’s suddenly being spun around and bent over it, slamming into the glass top with a little more force than he’s used to.  But he doesn’t give one single fuck because Armie is already yanking his pants down and crawling over him, and his mind goes completely blank the second he feels Armie’s finger sliding down the crease of his ass toward his entrance.

 

He’s so hard, he’s pretty sure if he pressed hard enough he could cut right through the glass underneath him.  He starts to wedge a hand beneath himself to wrap around his throbbing cock, but both of Armie’s hands fly up to stop him, grabbing each of his wrists in a bruising grip and pushing his arms above his head on either side to claw at the sides of the table.

 

Armie doesn’t say anything, but his actions speak clearly for him.  This isn’t just another round of their usual fun sexual escapades.  This is about dominance, about claiming.  And Timmy is _absolutely_ on board.  He’s been wondering if Armie would ever let himself indulge in what he knows are his rather rough inclinations.  He hadn’t wanted to bring it up himself, not wanting to risk Armie freaking out about him acting weird again, but he’d been hoping Armie would get here eventually.

 

The sex they’ve been having so far has been nothing short of spectacular, but he’s had so many wet dreams about Armie just completely taking control and fucking him into oblivion that he can’t deny how excited he is that he finally gets to experience that side of him.

 

He dutifully keeps his hands curled against the side of the table when Armie releases his grip on his wrists, his nails digging into the wooden side panel.  The side of his face is smushed against the cool glass and he can see his breath making small foggy circles on each exhale.

 

Armie’s finger finds its way back in between his ass cheeks and only waits a few seconds before pushing in to the first knuckle.  Timmy groans and gasps but forces himself not to move away.  It burns, Armie’s too-dry finger wiggling into his tight heat, but he craves more.  He breathes through the pain as he tries to push his hips back against Armie’s hand, signaling for him to keep going.

 

But the hand on his hips tightens even more and suddenly the finger is gone.  Timmy can’t stop the small whine that tears through his throat, but a few seconds later the finger is back, now freshly slicked with what he assumes must be Armie’s spit, and it pushes back in, further this time.  Timmy pants and moans, already leaking steadily onto the glass beneath him.

 

A second finger quickly joins the first, followed a minute later by a third, and Timmy is moaning and writhing on Armie’s fingers in no time.  It takes everything in him not to beg for more, for Armie’s cock, but he knows it wouldn’t do any good.  Armie is in control now, and he’s going to do this his way.  The thought of submitting to Armie’s every whim just turns him on even more.

 

The fingers leave his body just as quickly and without warning as they had entered, then Armie is shoving his arm underneath Timmy’s chest and hoisting his upper body backward so he’s in a standing position again.  Timmy’s knees are already shaking, and he’s glad for the tight grip Armie has on him because he’s afraid he might just collapse without it.

 

Armie’s teeth sink into his earlobe within seconds, then they move down to bite at his neck and throat, no doubt leaving angry red marks all over.  Timmy’s arms are limp at his sides, but when Armie finds the sensitive spot right above his collarbone, he has to clench his hands into tight fists to keep from touching himself.  The last thing he wants is for Armie to stop because he couldn’t behave like he wanted him to.

 

Armie trails his mouth back up to his ear, and when he finally speaks, his voice is scratchy and rough with heat.  “Gonna fuck you.  So hard.”  He pants and snakes his tongue out to lick a stripe from behind his ear up into his hair, teeth closing around a few strands and tugging gently.

 

Timmy keens and his legs start to give out, Armie’s hold on his tightening to keep him upright as Armie’s cock pushes insistently against his ass cheeks.  Armie’s hips move side to side in a slow, sensual motion, and all of the sudden they’re back on the dance floor, swaying together to the beat of the thumping bass, bodies molded together and hearts beating to the same rhythm.

 

Armie’s hand roams all over his chest, pinching at his nipples and scratching his nails across his belly.  His whole body is going to be covered in marks tomorrow, and the thought of bearing the physical evidence of being ravaged and claimed by Armie makes him whimper and push back into Armie even more.

 

But then his world goes sideways again when Armie lowers him back over the table, and his mind barely has a chance to catch up before Armie is thrusting deep into him in one fluid motion.  The air rushes out of his lungs and he grips the side of the table for dear life as Armie wastes no time in pumping in and out of him at a rapid pace.

 

One of Armie’s hands finds its way into his hair and he grips it tight, pulling on it every few thrusts as he grunts and growls his way through fucking Timmy mercilessly.  He uses his other hand to tilt Timmy’s hips up a little higher, and the change in angle has Timmy’s vision whiting out when Armie hits that magic spot inside of him.

 

His whole body is trembling from the effort to keep himself from totally collapsing onto the table as he desperately tries to gulp in air.  Armie’s thrusts are hard and deep, and somewhere along the way his mind shorts out and all he can do is just ride the wave of physical sensations his body is experiencing.  He’s completely at Armie’s mercy now, and he wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

Time is a blur as Armie moves in and out of him, but eventually Armie leans down to drape himself fully over Timmy’s back.  He finally pauses his rapid thrusts and slowly pushes himself so deep Timmy’s pretty sure he can feel him in his throat.  By now he doesn’t even remember how to speak, but he manages a low mewling sound as Armie licks at the sweat running down his neck, slowly moving over to press his teeth into his slick shoulder. 

 

He cries out, but Armie quickly shushes him.  “Shh, it’s ok baby, I got you.  I know you’re close, I can feel it.  You gonna come for me like a good boy?”

 

He can only whimper his assent, seemingly unable to control any of his muscles anymore to actually nod. 

 

Armie makes a satisfied humming sound directly into his ear, and the deep vibration of his voice sparks a fire in his entire body.  Armie pulls back slightly, but Timmy can still feel him hovering close above him, their bodies only inches apart, Armie’s heat mixing with his own and making his skin tingle.

 

Then suddenly Armie is pounding into him again, and seconds later a massive, firm hand wraps tightly around his throbbing dick and pumps, once, twice, three times.  The third stroke is perfectly timed with Armie slamming into him and hitting his prostate so hard he feels like might actually black out from pleasure, and he’s spurting his release all over the glass and Armie’s hand, thick streaks of white flying everywhere as Armie continues to fist him tightly.  He opens his mouth to scream at the intensity of it, but no sound comes out.

 

Armie waits until he’s sure Timmy is wrung completely dry before releasing the grip on Timmy’s dick and moving his hand back to his waist, grabbing it tightly as he straightens himself back up and fucks into him with purpose.  Timmy is oversensitive and sore from Armie’s roughness, but he can’t stop himself from pushing back into him anyway, always seeking _more_.

 

So it throws him for a loop when Armie abruptly pulls all the way out, the vice grip Armie’s had on his waist the entire time released without warning.  But he barely has time to whine at the sudden loss when he hears Armie let out a primal growl and a loud “Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!” followed seconds later by the slick, hot splash of Armie’s come all along his lower back and dripping down the crease of his ass.

 

If he hadn’t come so hard just minutes before, he’s pretty sure he’d be rock hard again in a second at the feeling of Armie painting him with his come, claiming his rightful territory, signified by the ring on his finger and the vow they made.  It’s the hottest fucking thing ever.

 

He hears Armie let out a quiet groan behind him.  He’s about to try to turn his head so he can look at him when he feels Armie’s softening cock slide over his skin, slowly rubbing in the mess he’d made all across Timmy’s ass.  An involuntary moan escapes Timmy’s throat and his knees finally give out. 

 

He collapses completely onto the table, his limbs going slack as he tries to recover from the sensation overload.  The pool of his own come smears across his belly as he slumps onto the cool glass, but he can’t even find the will to care.

 

He’s still gulping in air when Armie bends down to place the most tender kiss right between his shoulder blades.  “Fuck, babe.  I love you so much.”  His voice is a hoarse whisper, but the words send a warm tingling sensation throughout his entire body.

 

He manages to summon enough energy to turn his head enough to meet Armie’s eyes, which are glazed over and tired, and gives him a loopy smile.  “Right back at you.”

 

Armie’s huffs out a small laugh and plops onto the couch behind him with a sigh.  Timmy’s muscles are still trying to recover so he just stays hunched over the table for another minute before finally using all the strength he has left to push himself slowly up and off.

 

He moves to join Armie on the couch but one of Armie’s hands lands softly on his bruised hip to stop him.  “Wait, wait.  Here, let me just…”  Armie reaches for his discarded shirt on the floor and quickly wipes off the rapidly drying come off Timmy’s back and ass.  He then turns him around and cleans his stomach off as well before tossing the shirt somewhere behind them.  “There ya go.” 

 

Timmy bites his bottom lip and nods gratefully.  “Thanks.”  He bends down to pull up his pants, which were in a bunch at his feet.  Once he’s semi-dressed, Armie’s hand slides into his and he pulls him down to curl against his side on the couch.

 

Timmy leans his whole body into him, and neither of them speak for a couple minutes, just basking in their post-coital bliss together.  Finally, once Timmy’s heartbeat returns to a normal rhythm, he presses a small kiss into Armie’s bare shoulder.  “Jesus fuck, Armie.  That was so hot.  If I’d have known dancing with some kid would get you _that_ fired up…”  He trails off and bites at his lip as relives their moments on the dance floor, Armie pressing tightly into him and simmering with jealousy.

 

Armie cocks his head to the side to look at him and raises an eyebrow.  “I’ve never known you to have a jealousy kink before.”

 

Timmy lowers his eyes to Armie’s chest and moves one hand to smooth over the matted hair there.  He flicks his gaze back to Armie’s a few seconds later with a lewd smirk.  “I think I just discovered it myself.”  He playfully bites at Armie’s chin which earns him a shove to the shoulder and an exasperated eyeroll.

 

“Oh great.  Just what we need.”  Armie’s sarcasm is undercut with a distinct note of affection in his voice, and Timmy smiles as he tucks himself beneath one of Armie’s arms as it wraps around him, his long fingers trailing lines up and down the outside of Timmy’s bicep.

 

Timmy mirrors the movement with his own fingers along Armie’s belly, tracing random patterns into his smooth skin.  “Poor kid, scampering off like a scared kitten when you stomped over.  Nose flaring and face all red.  It was quite the sight.”  He chuckles and pinches the skin around Armie’s belly button lightly and is rewarded with a quiet hiss, Armie’s nails turning in to rake against his own skin a bit.

 

Armie snorts derisively.  “Please, he got off easy.  He shouldn’t have been pawing at you while I was sitting _right there_.  He’s lucky I let him live.”  Timmy loves this, the easy way they can tease each other and know everything is ok between them.  But there’s a small nagging voice in the back of his head about the whole situation that he can’t quite drown out, despite his best efforts.

 

He still his aimless movements on Armie’s tummy and slowly moves his hand up to cover his heart.  He pushes himself up so he can look at Armie square in the eyes.  “Armie, you know I would never be unfaithful to you, right?  Because I would _never_ risk losing this.”  He squeezes his hand over Armie’s heart and searches his eyes for understanding.

 

It’s granted to him instantly, Armie’s face softening with a fond smile as he brings his hand up to push back a few of Timmy’s rogue curls.  “Of course, baby.  I trust you completely.”  He leans down to press their lips together in a soft kiss.  When their lips part, they lean their foreheads together.  “It’s just…” He pulls back to look away for a few seconds, turning back with a slightly pained expression on his face.  “I don’t like it when other people touch you like that.  That’s all.”  He sighs, rakes a hand through his sweat-damp hair, making it stick up on one side.  “I’m working on it with my therapist.”  Armie gives a sheepish smile and kisses Timmy’s forehead.

 

Timmy’s not sure why the mention of Armie being in therapy comes as a shock to him, especially considering what he knows about everything that’s happened in this life before he arrived.  Besides, he’s had his own therapist since he was 14, and he knows how helpful having someone to talk to can be.  It’s actually comforting to know Armie feels comfortable enough with his own emotions to try to work through some of his deeper issues with a professional.  “It was completely innocent, I promise.”

 

Armie sighs and closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the couch.  “I know.  Just…”  He pauses, rolls his head to the side and opens his eyes so he can meet Timmy’s gaze.  “Next time you get the urge to go dancing, can you just do it here?  I really don’t want to get arrested for murdering some twink who can’t keep his hands to himself.”  One side of his lips twitch up in a mischievous smirk, and now Timmy’s the one to roll his eyes.

 

“Yeah, yeah.  Easy there, big boy.  Nobody needs to be murdered for dancing.”  But he can’t stop the grin that breaks out on his face knowing that Armie is so protective of him.

 

He gets an idea then, and he reaches into his pocket to find his phone.  He scrolls to his music app and then makes sure to connect it to the Bluetooth speakers.  The sudden and loud sound of hip hop blares through the room.  Armie’s eyes go wide and then instantly narrow again as Timmy shimmies himself over to straddle Armie’s lap, his own hips gyrating over Armie’s in time with the music.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Timmy bats his eyes innocently and smiles.  “Exactly what you suggested.  Dancing.”  He leans his weight onto his arms which are planted on Armie’s upper thighs are he moves his hips in a slow circle above Armie’s legs.

 

“Uh huh, right.  How do you even still have any energy left after I just fucked the life out of you?”  His bewilderment amuses Timmy, and he huffs out a laugh in response.

 

“I always have energy for dancing, silly.”  He winks and pushes off Armie completely, taking a few steps back as he lets his whole body get into the beat.

 

He’s just found a groove, eyes closed and gesticulating wildly with his arms when  suddenly his wrists are caught in a firm grip, ceasing their flailing.  His eyes snap open and he looks up at Armie in confusion.  But Armie is just calmly smiling at him, the affection in his eyes is almost overwhelming and Timmy stills himself, melting into Armie’s touch a little. 

 

“I have a better idea.”  Armie’s smile grows impossibly wider and he releases one of Timmy’s wrists to fish the phone out of his pocket again, scrolling for a minute before letting out a quiet “Aha” as he finds whatever he’s looking for.

 

The song changes into a slow, soulful jazz piece, one Timmy doesn’t recognize but immediately decides he likes.  Armie gently pulls him forward by the wrists and guides him to wrap his arms around his neck, and Timmy complies with a grin.  Armie then uses his now free hands to encircle Timmy’s hips as they begin swaying back and forth to the song.

 

This dance couldn’t be more different than the one they shared in the club earlier that evening.  It’s slow, soft and tender, Armie holding him loosely as he presses tiny kisses to his temple and cheek.  It’s somehow even more intimate than when Armie was practically dry-humping him on the dance floor.  This is just them, moving together to the rhythm of love.

 

Armie lips slide across his face until they meet his in a languid kiss, both of them smiling into it as they continue to hold each other.  “I love you.”  It’s barely a breath against Armie’s lips, but he knows Armie hears him, knows he can feel the words ghost over his heated skin and settle safely inside his heart.  Armie’s contented sigh is all the proof he needs.

 

When they finally pull back from their kiss, Timmy snuggles closer to Armie and lays his head on Armie’s chest, hearing the strong thumping of his heartbeat beneath his ear.  The song goes on for several more minutes, but even when it finally ends, neither one of them make a move to disentangle themselves from each other. 

 

As far as Timmy is concerned, he’d be more than happy to stay in the comfort of Armie’s embrace for all eternity if he could.  He knows that’s not actually possible, but for the next few minutes, he lets himself pretend it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next several chapters will be getting more into the actual plot again, especially regarding Timmy and his acting. So stay tuned! :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for another long-ish wait in getting this chapter to you. Life has been a bit hectic, and as you might have seen, I was working on a few other shorter things to get my muse to cooperate with me, lol. But I'm very much back in the swing of this story and it will be my main focus for a while, so updates should be much more regular. :D
> 
> This is a shorter chapter (at least for me, lol), and it's mostly a cute and fun way to set up the next couple of chapters and beyond, but it does move the plot forward some in regards to Timmy's acting. Also, this is probably the last bit of *true* smut for a while as things are going to be kicking into gear plot-wise soon, so I hope you enjoy!
> 
> For the record, I have absolutely no idea how contracts or any of the business side of acting goes, soooo...all mistakes are from me being too tired and lazy to Google things for fact-checking. Please just go with it, lol. ;)
> 
> As always, a huge THANK YOU to everyone reading, commenting, leaving kudos, and squeeing at me in various places. It makes me so motivated to continue writing and sharing this story with you all. We're nowhere near the end yet, so hang on tight! <333

He gets the call the following week, while he and Armie are at a bachelor party for one of the waiters at the restaurant.  They’d closed early so they could host the party there, and they’d hired a DJ to come in and spin some tunes while everyone celebrated the groom-to-be.

 

He’s just downed his second tequila shot when his phone starts buzzing in his pocket.  When he sees the name on his screen, his stomach does an unpleasant flip.  He doesn’t usually call this late unless some kind of disaster has happened, and he can’t imagine what might spark that in this world.

 

He signals to Armie, who’s on the other side of the bar helping to pour drinks (one of his many hidden talents, Timmy has come to learn), that he’s ducking outside to answer the call.  Armie gives him a wink and a nod before returning to his duties.

 

He swipes to answer the call just before it goes to voicemail.  “Hey Brian, what’s up, man?  Is everything ok?”  He tries to keep the concern out of his voice, but he’s not sure he’s entirely successful.

 

“Oh thank goodness you picked up!”  The slightly panicked tone of Brian’s voice has the knot in his stomach tightening.  Maybe there really _was_ something wrong.  “Listen, I know it’s late and I apologize, but do you remember the audition for that thriller movie you went on a few months back?”

 

His worry turns to confusion, obviously not knowing what Brian’s referring to.  He tries his best to fake it, though.  “Uh, yeah, yeah of course.  It sounded like a great role.  Why do you ask?”

 

“Well the guy they had cast in the role you went out for just checked himself into rehab for substance abuse, and they start filming next week.  They remembered your outstanding audition and are prepared to offer you the role, but you have to decide right away.  If you accept, you’ll get the script tomorrow so you can be ready to be on set on Monday.” 

 

He pauses to let Timmy take in the information and make a decision.  It almost seems to good to be true.  He’s been on so many hellish auditions in the last month that went nowhere, and now out of the blue he’s just offered this part?  And he isn’t even sure what the role is, since the audition happened before he got plopped into this world. He feels a stab of guilt over getting to capitalize on something he didn’t technically earn.

 

“Timmy?  You still there?”  Brian’s voice cuts through his swirling thoughts and he clears his throat.

 

“Yeah, I’m here, just processing.”

 

“Right.  Listen, I know it’s last minute, but this could be a really great thing for you, kid.  And it’s shooting in L.A., so you won’t have to leave Armie.  They obviously recognize your talent, and you’ll get a chance to work with a bunch of A-list actors as well as a very talented up and coming director.  As both your agent and your friend, I really advise you take this.”  Brian doesn’t often push this hard for projects, especially not in this world, so he knows there must be something really special about this one.

 

A flutter of hope and excitement pass through his belly as he grins into the phone.  “Ok, yeah.  Yes, I’ll do it.”  He bounces on his heels as he thinks that maybe, _just maybe_ , he can finally start to turn things around here.

 

“Excellent!”  He can hear Brian’s wide smile through the phone.  “They’ll send all the contracts and other paperwork along with the script tomorrow, so be on the lookout for it.  Ok, I need to go take care of the business end of things.  We’ll talk soon.  Congratulations, Timmy.”  Brian’s words are so heartfelt that he wants to cry, but he’s too busy having an internal freakout.

 

“Thanks, Brian!”  He hangs up, takes a few steadying breaths before hurrying back inside to tell Armie the good news. 

 

He practically runs over to the end of the bar, waving Armie over just as he’s finishing pouring out a couple of shots for one of the waitresses and her boyfriend.  Armie wipes his hands on a towel as he makes his way over to where Timmy is bouncing excitedly.  “Wow, that must have been some phone call!”  Armie’s eyebrows quirk up as a teasing smirk crosses his face.

 

Timmy’s too excited to care that he’s being mocked.  “That was Brian!  I got offered a part in a movie!”  He’s practically vibrating as he blurts out the news to Armie, whose face immediately lights up in a huge grin.

 

Armie literally _leaps_ over the bar in order to close the distance between them, their lips colliding in a fervent kiss, Armie’s huge hands spanning both sides of his face.  When Armie pulls back to look at him again, his grin is just as wide as his own.  “That’s incredible, babe!  I knew it was only a matter of time before people started recognizing the raw talent you have!  I’m so proud of you!”

 

Timmy preens at the praise, overjoyed that Armie is so happy for him, not that he’d doubted he would be for a second.  Armie draws him back in for another kiss, this one deeper and more drawn out than the last, both of them getting lost in each other as everyone else melts away.

 

Timmy only comes back to himself when the room erupts in a chorus of whooping and applause, and one affectionately teasing call of “Get a room, you two!”

 

They break their kiss, both grinning widely, Timmy’s face flushing bright pink at the attention.  But Armie just raises an eyebrow and smirks in the general direction of where the shout originated.  “You know, that’s not a bad idea!”

 

Before Timmy knows what’s happening, his world is tipping sideways and upside down as Armie hoists him up and over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, giving his ass a quick smack before starting to carry him out of the main dining area of the restaurant to the sound of more cheering and wolf-whistles.

 

Timmy sputters and tries to break free, but Armie’s hold is too strong.  “Armie!  Put me dooooowwwwn!”  He can’t help but giggle, feeling lightheaded and giddy as Armie carries him off to god knows where.

 

He vaguely recognizes the door to the employees lounge as Armie walks through it, and a few seconds later his world is righted again as Armie deposits him on one of the couches.  Armie swiftly kneels between his legs to unzip his pants before Timmy even has time to catch up.

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Armie wait!”  He reaches his hands down to halt Armie’s efforts at shoving his pants down.  “Are you seriously about to fuck me right now?!  The entire restaurant just saw you carry me in here!  They’re going to know what we’re doing!”  He can’t help but panic a little, suddenly uncomfortable with the idea that all of Armie’s coworkers are just a couple of rooms away and could walk in at any minute.

 

Armie just snorts and bats Timmy’s hand away, continuing to shove Timmy’s pants out of the way so he can pull out his cock.  “Like they give a shit.  We’ve fucked here plenty of times before, it’s not exactly a shock to them.  Besides, I’m not going to fuck you.  Tonight we’re celebrating you.”

 

He gives Timmy a seductive wink, and all of Timmy’s protests die on his lips as Armie dips his head and takes him in his mouth, eyes trained on him the entire time.  A long, drawn out moan escapes Timmy’s lips as he instinctively bucks his hips up and his eyes roll back in his head at the velvety hot feel of Armie’s mouth around him.  “ _Oh fuck_.”  His voice comes out a breathy pant, heartrate already kicked up several notches as his dick fills out in Armie’s mouth.

 

He feels more than hears Armie’s answering chuckles, the vibrations sending white hot sparks through his body.  He tangles his hands in Armie’s hair and lets his head fall back against the back of the couch, eyes falling shut and teeth sinking into his bottom lip. 

 

Armie makes quick work of bringing him to the edge, obviously wanting him to enjoy it but not wanting to risk someone coming in and disturbing them.  Timmy can feel his orgasm building, giving Armie’s hair a sharp tug as a way of warning.  “ _Armie…_ ”  Armie runs his tongue along the vein on the underside of his shaft before moving up to suckle the head, and that’s all it takes.  Timmy tenses up and spills hot, thick ropes of come into Armie’s mouth, Armie sucking down every drop.

 

When there’s nothing left and his dick is just twitching helplessly in the aftershocks, Armie finally pulls off and gives him a wide grin.  “And _that’s_ how we celebrate this momentous occasion!”  He leans up on his knees to bring his face to Timmy’s, pressing their foreheads together while Timmy tries to catch his breath.  “I’m so damn proud of you, Tim.  You’re going to impress the pants off of every director in the business and be a huge star.  And I can’t wait to watch it happen.” 

 

Armie’s voice is so gentle and soothing, Timmy feels like he could fall asleep right there, listening to Armie murmur soft praises into his ear.  He gives Armie a lazy smile when he plants a small kiss on the edge of his nose before finally leaning back to tuck Timmy’s spent cock back into his pants and fastening them back up around his waist.

 

“All right, you.  As much as I’d love to just curl up with you in here for the rest of the night, we probably should head back in there.  We don’t want Randy to think we’re trying to upstage him.”  Armie stands and offers a hand to help pull him up.

 

Timmy just looks at it and frowns, groaning at the thought of having to move in his blissful, post-orgasm haze.  “Must we?”  He knows he’s whining, but all he wants to do right now is cuddle up with Armie on this nice comfy couch, not go back out into a raucous bachelor party where everyone knows he and Armie have been engaging in some sort of sexual activity.

 

Armie’s amused snort is not at all what he was hoping to hear.  “Well, I could always throw you over my shoulder again, if you want.”

 

Timmy narrows his eyes and grumbles unintelligibly, finally grasping onto the offered hand and climbing to his feet.  “ _Fiiiiiine_.  Have it your way.  But don’t go too far when we get back out there.  I want to stay close to you tonight.”

 

He’s pulled into a loose hug as Armie chuckles into his hair.  “I love how clingy you get after sex.”  Timmy pokes him in the ribs, causing a genuine laugh to erupt from Armie’s throat.  “I mean it!  I love knowing that you feel safe and comfortable with me.  I hope it stays that way forever.”

 

Timmy nuzzles into his neck for a minute before tipping his head back to look up into Armie’s eyes, his expression completely open.  “It will, I promise.”

 

A slow smile spreads across Armie’s face as he leans in to meet Timmy’s.  “Good.”  It barely a hint of a whisper against his lips, but he still feels the weight of it as it reverberates through his heart.

 

They share a slow kiss for a minute before Armie reluctantly pulls away and grabs hold of Timmy’s hand, pulling him back out of the room and back to where the party is still in full swing. 

 

Armie honors Timmy’s request to stay close, abandoning the role of bartender for the rest of the evening in favor of leaning back against the bar, arms wound around Timmy’s middle loosely as they watch the groom-to-be take body shots off a stripper and get a lap dance in return.  They have several more shots themselves, and by the time they stumble back to the house around 4 a.m., they are more than a little drunk.

 

The next morning, the contracts and script for the movie Timmy will be in arrives as scheduled, and he spends the first few hours of his day nursing a hangover while trying to read over all the fine print carefully, not wanting to miss anything, just in case.

 

Once he deems everything legit, he signs the contract, and he and Armie spend the rest of the weekend running lines together and trying to get back into the headspace of _real_ acting.

 

He watches Armie intently as they rehearse, noting the way Armie seems to light up while reading one character after another, or the way he actually comes up with a bit of backstory for them as he’s going through it.  He plainly sees the love Armie still has for acting, even though his professional life has strayed from that avenue.  He makes a mental note to talk with him about it at some point, to try to understand the full reason behind his decision to walk away.

 

On Sunday night, less than 12 hours before he was due to be on set, his anxiety kicks up into full gear.  He’s sprawled on top of Armie’s chest after a particularly enthusiastic round of sex, both of them sated and spent, Armie mindlessly tracing patterns on the smooth skin of his back with one hand while he holds a book he’s attempting to read in the other.

 

His mind suddenly starts racing with all the possible ways this could go wrong, and he can feel the fear and doubt start settling in the pit of his stomach.  “Hey Armie?”

 

“Yeah, babe, what’s up?”  Armie’s hand slides up his back and neck to card through his hair, but he keeps his eyes trained on the book.

 

Timmy chews on his lower lip for a minute before continuing.  “What if…”  Deep breath.  “What if I’m terrible tomorrow?  What if I go in there and completely bomb and no one ever hires me again?”

 

That seems to get Armie’s attention, as he turns his head sharply to look at him, the hand holding the book falling to the bed as he zeroes in on Timmy.  “What?!  Why would you even think that?”

 

Timmy shrugs, looking down at Armie’s bare chest where his face had just been.  “I mean, it’s just been a while since I’ve had an opportunity this big, and I don’t want to screw it up.”  Normally something like this wouldn’t even ping on his worry radar, but that was in his other life.  In _this_ life, this small role in an ensemble movie was a huge deal, and one mistake could result in catastrophic consequences for his professional future.

 

Armie shifts and pulls him up a bit so he’s leaning against him in a more seated position.  “Timmy, you have absolutely _nothing_ to worry about, you hear me?  The kind of talent you possess…it’s not just going to dry up or diminish if you don’t use it for a while.  It’s instinctual and real, and you couldn’t fuck that up if you tried.  I mean, hell, at just 20 you were already leaps and bounds ahead of where I was acting-wise when we filmed together, and you’ve only grown since then.  You’re going to show up tomorrow and completely blow them away, and every director in Hollywood is going to be clamoring to work with you.”

 

Timmy peers up at Armie through a curtain of curls that have fallen over his face.  “You really think so?”

 

Armie gives an affectionate eyeroll and sighs.  “Yes, you dork!”  Armie’s lips press against his forehead and he feels some of the tension in his gut melt away.  “You’ll be amazing, just like you always are.  I don’t think you’re capable of anything less.  Come on, let’s get some sleep so you’re rested for your big day.”

 

Timmy leans up to catch Armie’s lips in a tender, grateful kiss, and Armie leans into it for a minute before pulling back to reach over and click the light off.  “I love you so much, Armie.”  His heart swells every time he says it, but especially now, when Armie knows exactly what he needs to hear and doesn’t hesitate to reassure him.

 

Armie scoots back down the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around Timmy and bringing their bodies flush with one another as they get comfortable again.  “I love you, too.  Forever.”  He feels another soft kiss land in his mess of curls, and he smiles against Armie’s chest, snuggling deeper into him.

 

After a couple minutes, he hears Armie snoring quietly above him.  His mind rolls over everything Armie had said.  He’s still not totally convinced he won’t mess things up somehow, but tomorrow brings a new opportunity, a possible great stepping stone in his acting career here.  He drifts off to sleep with the distinct feeling of _hope_ blossoming deep within him.  Maybe he really _can_ have everything he’s ever wanted, and maybe _this_ is where he’s meant to have it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I have returned with a new chapter! I know I'm behind on replying to comments from the last chapter, but I promise I WILL respond to you if I haven't yet. Real life has been kicking my ass lately, but it's finally about to slow down, so hopefully I can finally get caught up with things and can also post a little more often. *crosses fingers*
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, which finally explores Timmy getting to act in this world in a more major way. I fully admit I know nothing of how film sets work, so hopefully it doesn't come off as too unrealistic, lol. Also, I may have lied about the whole "no smut for a while" thing. I couldn't resist adding in a bit here, so enjoy! ;)
> 
> Your comments, kudos and general love and passion for this story give me life and I'm so grateful to every one of you. Thank you for going on this crazy ride with me and being so invested in how this story unfolds. You all are awesome and I adore you. <333

The first time Timmy walks onto the movie set, he can’t stop the excited butterflies from swirling in his stomach.  He feels almost silly, since he’s had plenty of experience on film sets by now, and for roles much bigger than this, but he knows that in _this_ world, this is a huge deal for him.  It’s an ensemble spy movie, and his part isn’t huge, but his character is integral to the main plot.  He was told they’d probably only need him for about two weeks of filming, assuming everything stayed on schedule, but he was just thrilled to be a part of it at all.

 

He looks around the huge soundstage they’ll be shooting on for the first few days, reveling in the feeling of finally getting the chance to do what he loves again after what feels like the longest dry spell in history, even if it’s only been a little over a month in reality.  Suddenly all the discouraging auditions he’s endured in this world feel like they were worth it, even if technically _he_ wasn’t the one to have landed this opportunity.  He silently sends up a prayer of thanks to the Timmy of this life, wherever he might be currently.

 

A young-looking girl carrying a clipboard and a cup of coffee comes running up to him with a bright smile on her face.  “Are you Mr. Chalamet?”

 

Timmy breaks out in a grin and nods.  “I am!  You can call me Timmy, though.”  He extends his hand in greeting and she has to shuffle the clipboard around in her arms in order to shake it with her own.

 

“Wonderful!  My name is Pam, I’ll be your go-to person if you need anything while you’re on set.  This is for you.”  She holds out the coffee, and Timmy takes it gratefully with an excited smile and a tiny bow.  “Come with me and I’ll show you to your dressing room.”

 

Timmy follows Pam through the length of the set, smiling and waving at several crew members and a group of extras as they go.  They turn down a hallway with several doors, each marked with an actor’s name on it.  Near the end of the hall is the one with Timmy’s name, and Pam turns the knob and gestures for Timmy to head inside.

 

The room is a decent size, about the same as he’s had with other supporting roles in the past, with a couple of couches and a dresser with a mirror situated on top.  There’s a small table in the corner that has a giant welcome basket on top, taking up almost the entire circumference.

 

Pam follows him in and rattles off a bunch of information about his schedule for the day, which mostly consists of wardrobe fittings since he hadn’t had a chance before filming started to get that done.  Then he’s got a couple of group scenes near the end of the day.

 

He’s about to thank her when she gets a page on her headset and gives a short wave as she bolts out the door.  He lets out a long breath and goes to sit on one of the couches, trying to calm himself enough to get back into the acting headspace again.  He takes out his earphones and starts up his “work” playlist, closing his eyes and letting the music get him in the zone.

 

A while later, he hears knocking on his door and he’s greeted by several sweet ladies and a pile of clothes for him to try on.  The fittings take longer than he anticipates, and he sighs with relief when the women shuffle back out of his dressing room and he has a little while before he was due on stage for his scenes.

 

When he hears the gentle knock on his door a few minutes later, followed by Pam’s quiet voice telling him they’re ready for him, Timmy takes one last deep breath and heads out to join the rest of the cast assembled for the group scene.

 

They spend a few minutes on introductions, most everyone else having already met during the casting process and the read-through the week before, so Timmy feels a little like an outsider as they begin blocking the scene.  But it doesn’t last long as all the other actors are warm and welcoming, and soon they’re all cracking jokes with each other between takes and setups as they move the camera to get coverage on each person in the scene.

 

As the afternoon shifts slowly into evening, he’s relieved at how easy it is for him to slip back into this world after not being sure if he’d ever get back here again.  It’s the place he feels most like himself, most comfortable in his own skin.  Or at least it _used_ to be, until he discovered what it felt like to be with Armie and be his whole world.  He’s not sure even his passion for acting can compare with the feeling he gets when he’s wrapped safely in the warmth of Armie’s arms.

 

The rest of the day goes well enough, but by the time he walks off the set, he’s exhausted in a way he doesn’t remember being for a long time.  He was so pumped about finally getting this chance that his energy is completely spent by the time he makes his way up the walkway to their house.

 

He shuffles through the door with a yawn, takes a few tired steps toward the living room when he catches something in his peripheral vision and stops short.  Their dining room table is decked out with his favorite meal –  spaghetti Bolognese – and one lit candle in the middle.  There’s a bottle of his favorite red wine cooling in a bucket of ice and a giant piece of apple pie on a small plate with two forks.  He turns to make his way over there, inhaling deeply to fully appreciate the heavenly aromas filling the air. 

 

A few steps before he reaches the table, a pair of firm arms slide around his middle from behind.  He startles for a second before relaxing and melting back into Armie’s embrace, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude that this is what he gets to come home to after a long day.

 

Armie nuzzles into his hair for a second, fingers curling into his shirt as he holds him closer.  “Hey there, big movie star.  How did your first day go?”

 

He gives a quiet snort at being called a movie star when his role is hardly a major one, but he appreciates the sentiment behind it.  “It went pretty well, actually.  A lot of fittings in the beginning of the day, but I did finally get to act for the last few hours.  The cast is a lot of fun to work with.  Very laid back.  You’d like them.”

 

Armie hums softly and presses a kiss to his temple.  “I’m sure I would.”

 

They’re quiet for a minute before Timmy tips his head back to look at Armie.  “You did all this for me?”  His voice is hushed, full of emotion at Armie’s gesture.  Even after everything he’s been through with Armie in the last several weeks, he still can’t quite believe the lengths he would go to in order to make him happy.

 

Armie bends his head to rub his nose against his.  “Of course I did.  You deserve to be spoiled a little after working so hard for this.  You more than earned it, babe.”  Soft lips press to his, and he swivels his body so he’s facing Armie head on, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

 

He tries to ignore the stab of guilt he feels knowing that _he_ hadn’t actually earned any of this, he just happens to be the one here now to enjoy the benefits of the other Timmy’s hard work.  But when Armie’s tongue slips past his lips to tangle with his own, he lets the thought drift away as he wraps himself up fully in Armie’s affections.

 

When Armie finally pulls back, the look in his eyes so full of love Timmy actually stops breathing for a second, he isn’t sure he can handle it.  “How are you so perfect?”

 

Armie gives a toothy grin and winks, leaning back in to kiss his cheek before grabbing his hand and pulling him the rest of the way toward the table.  “Come on, food’s getting cold.”

 

He lets Armie maneuver him over to the table and into a chair, Armie then crossing to the other side of the small table to grab the wine and pour them both a glass before sitting down himself.  Armie raises his glass and tilts it in his direction.  “To you, babe.  This is the beginning of great things for you, I can feel it.”

 

Timmy feels heat creep up the side of his face at Armie’s praise.  He doesn’t know what to say that won’t end in him becoming a stuttering mess, so he simply raises his own glass and tries to let all the emotion he’s feeling shine through in his eyes.  He’s pretty sure Armie understands when he feels the gentle nudge of Armie’s foot against his own under the table.

 

They dig into their meal, neither one talking much for the first few minutes until most of the spaghetti is gone.  When their wine glasses are empty, Armie pours them both a second helping as they share the piece of pie, Armie cutting the first piece and feeding it to Timmy across the table before taking his own bite.

 

When they finish, they move over to the couch to get more comfortable.  Timmy tells Armie more about his day as Armie gives him a foot rub.  Timmy puts up a half-hearted protest that Armie doesn’t have to do that, but Armie is having none of it and kisses the top of his foot for good measure, taking Timmy instantly back to the moment during filming when Armie had adlibbed the kiss to his foot during the nosebleed scene.  He’d always thought Armie had just been so in character that he felt it was right in the moment, but now he wonders if that had actually been part of Armie’s true feelings for him coming to the surface by way of Oliver.

 

He clears his throat and tries to shake the thought away.  It didn’t really matter anymore, at least as long as he was in this world.  If he ever finds himself in his old life again, he can revisit that question then.  For now, he doesn’t need to wonder about Armie’s feelings for him.  They’re clear in everything he does, and he doesn’t want to think about the possibility of not having this forever.

 

They talk for a while until Timmy starts to seriously fade, which is when Armie brushes a handful of curls back behind his ear and presses a kiss to his cheek.  “Ok, time for bed.”  He’s about to amble off the couch when Armie suddenly shoves his arm under Timmy’s legs and scoops him up, making to carry him over to the stairs.

 

Timmy lets out a surprised laugh and buries his face in Armie’s neck.  “Armie, I _can_ walk you know.  It’s not like I’m too tired to make it up one flight of stairs.”

 

But Armie is apparently determined.  “Nope, can’t risk you tripping and falling and breaking that pretty face of yours now.  It’s gonna be my meal ticket soon, must protect it at all costs.”

 

Timmy breaks out into a satisfied grin at Armie calling him pretty, even if he is teasing him.  “Just admit it, Hammer, you just like the fact that I’m light enough for you to carry around.  This is a _thing_ with you, isn’t it?”  Two can play this game.

 

Armie stops then, craning his neck to look Timmy in the eye with a surprisingly earnest look.  “Maybe it is.  Would that be such a bad thing?”

 

Timmy’s caught off-guard for a second by how sincere Armie’s answer is, but he recovers quickly and gives a look of mock consideration before slowly melting into a genuine smile.  “Not at all.”  He stretches his neck so he can place a soft kiss on the underside of Armie’s chin.  When he pulls back to meet Armie’s eyes again, he’s got a playful grin on his face.  “Well, carry on then.”  He tightens his hold around Armie’s neck as he motions his chin in the direction of the stairs, indicating for Armie to keep going.

 

Armie matches his smile and hoists him up a bit higher to get a better hold before continuing up the stairs with Timmy in his arms.  He’s gently deposited on the edge of their bed as Armie strips first himself, then Timmy, before they both crawl under the blankets to get comfortable.  Armie spoons up close behind him, a protective arm slung around his torso.  He’s fast asleep within minutes, fingers entwined in Armie’s as the exertion of the day finally catches up with him.

 

The next couple of days of shooting go pretty smoothly, with only one minor hiccup with a prop gun not working properly.  He manages to really hit it off with a couple of the other actors whom he shares most of his scenes with, and they spend most of their downtime talking music or playing card games.  One of them also hails from New York, so they end up swapping stories of growing up in the city and how different it is to life in L.A.  He can’t deny it makes him a bit homesick, and he ends up texting his mom a bunch of pics of him from set while he’s on a lunch break.

 

On Wednesday night, a bunch of the cast and crew decide to go out for drinks after shooting ends.  He calls Armie to see if he wants to come along, but he begs off, saying he’s exhausted from a crazy shift at the restaurant, but that Timmy should go ahead and enjoy himself. 

 

He stumbles in around 1 am and finds Armie asleep on the couch, an open book splayed out on his chest.  He weighs his options for a minute, knowing Armie sleeps like the dead most of the time.  He eventually decides on removing the book from Armie’s chest and replacing it with his own body, curled up on top of Armie as much as he can manage with the limited space of the couch. 

 

An hour or so later, he wakes to Armie shifting around underneath him.  “Timmy?  What’s going on?”

 

He carefully lifts his head to look down at Armie.  “Sorry, I came home and you were asleep.  I didn’t want to go to bed without you, but you’re too heavy for me to carry.  Also, I’m a little drunk.”  He can still taste the whiskey on the back of his tongue, his castmates all doing shots as they shook off the stress of the day.

 

Armie lets out a tired snort at that.  “Well, it sounds like you had a good time, at least.”

 

Timmy’s smile is lazy and crooked as he recalls the crazy evening he had.  “I did.  Missed you, though.”

 

Armie hums softly and runs a hand through Timmy’s hair, which is plastered to the side of his head.  “Next time.”  He leans up to plant a quick kiss to his lips before sliding out from underneath Timmy to sit up against the back of the couch.  “Come on, let’s go upstairs.  Get some real sleep.”  Timmy nods and they head up to their bedroom, both passing out again almost as soon as they hit the mattress.

 

Timmy’s eternally grateful for the later call time the next day, but he still wakes up with a rather nasty headache and an uncomfortably dry mouth.  He blinks his eyes open to find that Armie has already gotten the aspirin out and put it on the nightstand, along with a glass of water and a note that says “Drink up, party boy” written in Armie’s impeccable penmanship.

 

He looks at the alarm clock, blinking accusingly at him with the time of 10:42 a.m.  lighting up the screen.  Armie was opening the restaurant today, so he knew he would have already left.  He rolls his eyes at the note but a fond smile plays on his lips as he follows Armie’s written instructions and downs the pills and the entire glass of water.  After a long, hot shower, he feels much more refreshed and ready to head to set for his early afternoon call.

 

Thankfully, he doesn’t have any scenes that require a close-up of his face, but the make-up ladies still give him a pointed look when he shows up with dark circles under his eyes.  He shrugs apologetically and they get to work on trying to make him look presentable.

 

The day goes surprisingly well, considering the state he was in this morning.  A few of the other cast members are a little worse off than he is, but they make it through their shooting schedule and finish a half-hour early, so he considers it a win.

 

Things hit a bit of a snag on Friday when some of the sound equipment isn’t working properly, and it sets them back several hours.  He calls Armie on FaceTime while they sort things out, and they spend a solid hour talking, Timmy taking him on a “tour” of the set as he wanders around to kill time.  Armie listens intently to all of Timmy’s tales from the set, asking a few questions here and there, but mostly just letting Timmy ramble on excitedly. 

 

They talk until Armie has to run to help Nick with something, but Armie promises they’d have a nice, quiet evening in together to make up for not seeing each other much during the week.  Unfortunately, the set-back in filming has him stuck there until almost 11:30, and by the time he gets home after midnight, Armie is already upstairs in bed.  He strips quickly, crawls in beside Armie and cuddles close, Armie waking just enough to mutter a “Welcome home, babe,” and nuzzle sleepily into his hair before falling back asleep.

 

Saturday night, he gets a text from Pete, his castmate and new friend from New York, asking if he and Armie wanted to have dinner with him and his wife.  Armie declines at first, but when Timmy unleashes the puppy eyes on him, he gives in and reluctantly agrees.

 

Pete and his wife, Angela, meet them downtown at a quaint little Ethiopian restaurant.  They all make introductions, and before long, the conversation is flowing as freely as the wine.  Pete and Timmy spend a while talking about the movie shoot, Angela asking a million technical questions as she has a background in film production, though she eventually chose to change course and became a travel advisor.  Timmy notices Armie is uncharacteristically quiet during most of the meal, though he lights up when Angela asks him a question about recipes when Timmy mentions he works as a chef.

 

He’s tempted to ask if everything is ok when they make it back home, but he isn’t sure what exactly to say.  Armie had been totally polite and engaged in the conversation when he was asked a direct question, but Timmy can’t shake the feeling that something is a bit off with how he was acting.

 

In the end, he decides he’s too tired to bring it up now, but he makes a mental note to watch out for any more unusual behavior in case he feels the need to address it again later.

 

They haven’t had sex in almost a week, both too busy and tired to do more than cuddle by the time they were both home and settled, so when Timmy feels Armie’s hand slide slowly from the flat of his stomach down to curl around his half-hard cock early the next morning, he pushes back into him eagerly.

 

Armie takes his time, pumping him slowly for long minutes before turning Timmy over to face him so they can kiss at a languid pace as their bodies slide together in a sensual dance.  Armie eventually rolls on top of him, bracing Timmy’s legs on his shoulders as he grabs the lube and starts opening him up slowly.  They spend long minutes kissing, both feeling the need to make up for lost time from the past week.  When Armie finally slides inside him, he gasps in relief and lets his legs slide down to wrap tightly around Armie’s waist.

 

Armie moves slow – much like the first morning he’d ever had Armie inside him – short, lazy strokes as they simply enjoy the feel of each other’s bodies coming together again.  Every roll of Armie’s hips sends a round of pleasure shockwaves all throughout his body, and when Armie shifts his hips to find the right angle to brush past his prostate on every thrust, he begins mewling into Armie’s neck as he quickly approaches the edge.

 

Armie moves a hand between them and strokes him in time with his thrusts, which have begun to speed up as he brings himself closer to climax as well.  It only takes another minute of Armie working him both inside and out for him to come with a muffled cry, clinging onto Armie’s back and holding him close while he rides out his pleasure.  Armie follows a couple minutes later, a low groan of “Oh fuck” escaping his lips as he stills his hips and comes buried deep inside the tight heat of Timmy’s body.

 

Timmy’s sweaty but sated when Armie captures his lips in another long kiss, both of them fighting for breath but unwilling to break away just yet.  Eventually the need for air becomes too strong and Armie pulls his head back before collapsing his full weight onto Timmy.  “Fuck, I missed that.”

 

Timmy pulls in several deep breaths before he can manage to answer.  “Me too.  Let’s never go that long without sex again.”

 

He feels Armie nodding into his shoulder as one of his hands finds Timmy’s and twists their fingers together.  “Deal.”

 

They lay together for several minutes, neither one of them moving or speaking, until finally Armie pushes off of him to go find a towel to clean up with.  When he comes back, he wipes them both down and presses a tender kiss to Timmy’s lips, crawling back in the bed and pulling Timmy to him.

 

Armie soon falls back asleep, his even breathing a quiet comfort to Timmy as he allows his mind to wander.  With Armie wrapped around him tightly, a protective shield against all the evils of the world, he’s almost able to forget why he’d been worried about him and Armie in the first place.  At least for this moment, everything is perfect, and there’s nowhere he’d rather be than exactly where he is.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! I apologize once again for the slight delay between chapters. Just when I thought life was going to slow down...it got crazy again, lol. I'm doing my best to keep cranking out these chapters for you because I get twitchy when there's too long between updates as well! ;)
> 
> To make up for it, this chapter is almost 5k, so I hope that will satiate your needs for a little bit, lol. This chapter is more of Timmy's acting and him getting back into being comfortable in that world again. There are definitely some little hints of bigger angsty things to come sprinkled in here, but mostly this is a pretty plot-driven chapter. I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> Again and as always, your comments and love for this fic is overwhelming and means so, so, so much. Thank you all for sticking with me! <333

The next week of filming finds Timmy shooting on location in downtown L.A.  The majority of his major scenes are scheduled to be shot the first couple of days, with a few more group scenes at the end of the week.  He’s also working with some of the bigger names in the cast this week – including one key scene with Joaquin Phoenix – and he’s excited to dive into the action after doing mostly reaction shots last week.

 

He and Armie had spent a few hours Sunday night going over his scenes until he felt confident enough with them but not so rehearsed that he felt he couldn’t improvise something in the moment if it felt organic.  He was again struck by how much he missed being able to act opposite Armie, who was still his favorite scene partner he’d ever had, and not only because he was in love with him.  It always felt like they were so in tune with each other, the scenes just flowed effortlessly.  He hopes his actual scene partners jive with him even half as well as Armie does.

 

They’re set up in a large office building, preparing a rather long exposition scene.  They do a few rehearsal takes, making sure they have the blocking down.  Once everything is set, they start filming for real.  They end up doing 4 takes, Timmy trying a slightly different approach each time. 

 

The director, Jordan, a young first-time filmmaker, doesn’t give him many notes, rather allowing him to find the right way on his own.  Timmy is eternally grateful to have found several directors in his short career that have let him explore and discover the magic of a scene in the moment.  It’s a rush that nothing can ever compare to.

 

They finish the long scene and do a quick set up to shoot one more shorter scene before the break for lunch.  They do seven takes of that one, and by the time the call for lunch, he’s starving.  His stomach rumbles as he makes his way over to the craft food area, but suddenly he’s struck by another idea.

 

The building they’re shooting in is only 3 blocks from Armie’s restaurant, where he knows Armie is working right now.  He changes course and heads over to talk to Jordan, who’s talking quietly with his DP.

 

“Hey man, if it’s ok with you, I’m gonna head off set for lunch.  My husband works in a restaurant pretty close to hear, and I’d love to go surprise him.”  He knows Jordan probably doesn’t care what he does on his own time as long as he’s back by his next call time, but he doesn’t want to assume and risk making things tense with his director.

 

Jordan turns his body to face him fully as he gives a small smile.  “Husband, huh?  You’re pretty young to be settled down already.”

 

Timmy shrugs, biting at his lower lip.  Jordan couldn’t be more than a couple years older than him, but he was his director, so he knows he should tread lightly.  “Yeah well, not when you’re in love.”  He fidgets for a second, then quickly adds, “Sir.”  He can feel his face grow hot, not one to usually question a director’s opinion.  But this wasn’t about acting, so he feels more confident in voicing his opinion about his own life.

 

Jordan lets out a bark of laughter.  “Oh fuck, please don’t call me ‘Sir’.  Makes me feel ancient.”  His face twists with delight as Timmy lets out a slow breath.  “Who’s your husband?  Is he in the industry?”

 

Timmy’s heart stutters in his chest.  “Uh…well no, not.  Not anymore.”  At Jordan’s questioning look, he tries not to panic.  “I’m married to Armie Hammer.”  He hates that saying those words in this setting makes him so nervous.  He only wants to feel excited about proud when talking about Armie.  But he knows how delicate things are in this world, and he’s never quite sure how people will react.

 

Jordan’s eyebrows shoot up at the mention of Armie, clearly recognizing his name.  “Oh fuck, you’re…I mean, I’d heard about what happened with him and his wife, but I was still a nobody in film school at the time.  I didn’t realize that was you.”

 

Timmy’s surprised Jordan was familiar with Armie but not him for half a second before he remembers that he was still an unknown when Call Me By Your Name was released.  And here, it hadn’t done anything to boost his visibility like it had in his own world, so he realizes that probably most people just know him as “that kid who fucked Armie Hammer while filming the gay movie and ruined his perfect family.”

 

Timmy lowers his head to stare at the floor for a few seconds, mumbling sadly.  “Yep, that’s me.”  Something in him breaks apart knowing that so many people see his and Armie’s love as something destructive instead of the beautiful, precious gift he knows it to be.

 

A gentle hand lands on his shoulder, startling him into looking back up to meet Jordan’s gaze.  “Hey look, far be it from me to judge the situation when I know nothing about it.”  Jordan’s eyes peer into his curiously.  “Is it real, what you two have?”

 

Timmy’s eyes go wide at the question, his breathing coming in fits and starts.  “Yes.  Very.”  He finally manages to push out the words, feeling the truth of them settle like a blanket over his heart.  No matter what else goes on in this crazy world, that was the one thing he was completely sure of.

 

Jordan’s face melts into a fond smile.  “Well then, that’s all that matters.  The rest is just white noise and bullshit.  Try to remember that.”  He feels a light squeeze on his shoulder before Jordan releases him.  “Go on, go see that husband of yours.  Just make sure you’re back by the time we’re setting up the next scene.

 

Timmy breaks out in a giddy grin and nods excitedly.  “Of course!  Thanks, man.”  He flashes his signature peace sign as he turns around and heads toward the front of the building. 

 

He decides on taking a cab to the restaurant to save time.  Now that he knows his way around the restaurant more, he knows right where to head to find Armie.  Several of the staff wave and smile at him as he walks toward the kitchen.  He peers through the porthole window in the door, but he can’t see Armie anywhere.

 

He wanders down the hallways that leads to the employee lounge and stops in front of the door.  He knows no one cares if he goes in, but he feels a little weird going in without Armie.  He pushes past the feeling and opens the door, finding what he originally thinks is an empty room.  But just as he’s about to turn and go back out, he catches sight of a giant foot hanging over the edge of the couch.  He’d know that foot anywhere. 

 

He smiles to himself and walks around to the front of the couch, finding Armie sprawled out on his back with his face buried in a book.  He’s almost directly in front of him when Armie looks up to see him standing there, his face shifting through several emotions in quick succession before finally landing on happily surprised.  “Hey!  What are you doing here, babe?!”  He quickly puts the book down and climbs to his feet, wrapping his long limbs around him in a tight embrace.

 

Timmy returns the hug eagerly, snuggling his face into Armie’s neck as his hands come up to caress his back.  “We’re only shooting a few blocks from here.  We broke for lunch and I just missed you and wanted to see you.  I hope it’s ok.”

 

Armie pulls back to look at him, keeping his hands on Timmy’s shoulders, rubbing small circles.  “Of course it’s ok, I’m always happy when you come to see me.  I’ve got about 20 minutes left of my break, so come sit with me.  Tell me about your day so far.”  Armie takes his hand and pulls him down to sit on the couch with him.

 

They settle with Timmy situated between Armie’s spread legs, leaning his back into Armie’s chest.  “Man, Armie, I’ve really missed this.  The rush of it all.  It’s been incredible to be back on a real set, with amazing actors, getting inside the head of my character.  I really do love it.”

 

Armie’s hands come up to rub his shoulders and down his arms.  “I know you do, babe.  I’m really glad your talents are finally starting to be recognized by the right people.  I’ve always known you’re incredible, it’s time the rest of the world discovers it, too.”  There’s a gentle press of lips to the back of his neck, and Timmy can’t stop from breaking out into a giddy smile. 

 

He twists a little so he’s laying half-sideways on Armie’s chest, his cheek rubbing over the crisp material of his chef’s uniform.  “My last scene today is with Joaquin.  Fuck, I’m so nervous.  I mean, you know how much I idolize him.”

 

“Timmy, you have nothing to be nervous about.  He’s just another guy.  A very talented guy, sure, but so are you.  You’ll be great, and then you can cross another person off of your list of idols you’ve gotten to work with.  Not very many actors, especially one as young as you, can do that.”  Armie’s hand finds its way into his hair and begins to scratch lightly.

 

Timmy makes a happy humming sound, both at the feel of Armie’s hand in his hair and at his encouraging words.  “I know, you’re right.  I just hate that I get so awkward around people I look up to.”

 

Armie stills his hand for a brief second before resuming his slow movements.  “You were never awkward with me.”  It’s not said as an accusation, just a matter of fact.

 

And it was true, he was instantly put at ease the minute Armie came bursting through the door of his piano lesson.  He couldn’t really explain it then or now, but Armie was the rare exception where he’d been intimidated by his work before meeting him but felt completely on equal footing once they actually met.

 

He doesn’t answer, mostly because he doesn’t know what to say, just snuggles further into Armie’s chest and lets out a contended sigh.  Armie chuckles softly and presses a soft kiss to the top of his head before continuing to massage his scalp.

 

They lie quietly for a few minutes, Timmy enjoying the soothing feeling of Armie’s warmth.  He lets his mind float back to when he and Armie were shooting Call Me By Your Name together, the dream-like atmosphere they’d found themselves in for 3 blissful months.  He wishes he had the memories of filming from this life, just to know how it was different from his own experience, which was already pretty perfect in his mind.  He can’t imagine how much more amazing and intense it would have been to be with Armie for real during that time.

 

“Hey Armie?”

 

“Hmm?”  He can tell Armie is close to falling asleep by the slight hitch of his breath at the sound of Timmy’s voice.

 

“Do you ever miss it?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“You know, acting.  The sets and the crew, getting to shed your own skin for a while and completely inhabit your character.  The thrill of nailing a take and knowing you left it all in front of the camera.”  Timmy can feel his adrenaline pumping as he starts to envision his career in this life starting to gain ground finally, being afforded the kinds of opportunities he was really starting to enjoy in his other life.

 

He feels Armie stiffen beneath him slightly, listens as he takes several deep breaths before answering.  “I miss working with _you_.”  His tone is wistful and almost sad.

 

Timmy waits for several beats, thinking there must be more, but when Armie doesn’t offer anything else, he frowns slightly.  He’s about to inquire further when Armie’s phone alarm starts going off in his pocket.  Armie lets out a tired groan as he stretches.  “Sorry babe, gotta go back to the madness.”  He leans them both up into a sitting position, Timmy hesitating a beat before climbing out from between Armie’s legs so he can stand.

 

Once they’re both on their feet, Armie gives him a weary smile.  “I’m glad you came.  Break a leg in your big scene later.”  Armie presses a short kiss to his lips before pulling away and heading back toward the door.

 

Before he gets too far, Timmy grabs Armie’s hand in his and pulls him back for a _real_ kiss.  Armie seems surprised for half a second, but quickly melts into the kiss, bringing his other hand up to cup Timmy’s face as their tongues slide against each other.  When Armie’s teeth find purchase in his lower lip, tugging gently as his body arches into him, Timmy knows he has to be the one to pull away first before things get too heated.

 

He groans low in his throat as he gives one last lick to Armie’s mouth before reluctantly pulling back.  He looks up to find Armie’s pupils blown and his lips shiny and plump, and if he didn’t have to go back to set in a few minutes, he’d say screw it and have his way with Armie right then.

 

But unfortunately there isn’t time for that, so he settles for licking his lips to chase the taste of Armie’s mouth and hopes that they’re both still up for some action later.  He sees Armie’s eyes follow the movement of his tongue and can’t help the feeling of smug satisfaction that spreads through him when he sees the effect it has on him.

 

“Fuck, Tim, now I’m all hot and bothered and I have to go back in there and try to cook.”  His voice is rough with arousal, and the sound makes his cock twitch in his pants.

 

“If it helps, my uh…situation…isn’t much better.”  He ducks his head as a blush creeps up the side of his face, knowing he’ll have to calm down before he can go back in front of any cameras.  But his impish side comes out as he adds, “But it was worth it, right?”  A devilish smirk crosses his face as he meets Armie’s eyes again.

 

Armie’s eyes narrow slightly and he leans in, pressing his lips directly to the shell of his ear.  “Totally worth it.”  The husky whisper does nothing to help the situation in his pants, and he swallows audibly as Armie continues to breathe hot air over his already heated skin.

 

He’s suddenly shocked out of his lust-filled stupor when one of Armie’s giant hands smacks him hard on the ass.  “All right, lover boy, I’ve got food to prepare, and you’ve got a big important movie to make.  Go knock ‘em dead!”  Armie flashes one of his million-watt grins at him before moving once again toward the door of the lounge.  He turns back just before he reaches it and winks.  “See you at home.”  And with that, he’s out the door, headed back toward the kitchen for the rest of his shift.

 

Timmy smiles to himself for a few seconds before moving to follow the way Armie had gone.  He waves at everyone on his way back out of the restaurant and heads back to the set as quickly as he can.  He ends up getting there with plenty of time before the next scene is ready, so he heads to his designated trailer for the day and wastes time watching Youtube videos until he hears the knock on his door that signals he’s needed.

 

Most of the rest of his scenes go smoothly, and when he finally gets to work with Joaquin, he tries to remember what Armie had said.  _He’s just a guy_.  It helps keep him from being too awkward, though he can’t stop the blush that spreads over his whole face when Joaquin says he’d seen Call Me By Your Name and was impressed with his performance.  He stammers his thanks for a few seconds before willing himself to calm down and focus on the scene at hand.  They nail it in 3 takes, and before Joaquin heads off to do another scene Timmy’s not in, he manages to get a selfie with him. 

 

He’s floating on air all the way back home, and he barely gets five feet in the door before Armie is stalking up to him, an expectant smile on his face.  “So, how did it go?  Did you fanboy out?”  Armie raises one eyebrow teasingly.

 

Timmy wants to smack him but instead his entire face involuntarily scrunches up in a giddy grin.  “It was awesome, Armie!  He’s _so_ good!  Even just with one scene, I learned so much!”

 

Armie’s answering chuckle and soft smile spreads warmth through his whole body.  “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”  He pulls Timmy in for a kiss, slow and gentle.  After a minute, Armie’s lips travel down to nip and suck at Timmy’s long, exposed neck before sliding back up to press against his ear.  “So…you wanna finish what you started earlier?”

 

Armie pulls back so Timmy can see his eyes, blown wide with arousal.  Timmy swallows and nods dumbly, watching Armie’s face twist into a wolfish grin as he flicks his eyes up towards the stairs.  Timmy moves so fast he almost trips twice on his way up to the bedroom.

 

The next couple of days of filming go smoothly, and Timmy is finally starting to feel like he’s found his groove again.  He doesn’t go back to visit Armie at the restaurant during his lunch breaks, though he wants to.  It’s just easier to stay on set, and he strikes up some great conversations with several members of the crew on his down time.  He also manages to build a solid connection with Jordan.  They’re close in age and have a lot of similar interests, so they spend a good amount of time just shooting the shit.

 

His last day of shooting is supposed to be Thursday, but there’s an issue with the sound on his last scene, so he has to go back and reshoot it Friday morning before they lose the location.  He arrives to set early while things are still being set up.  He’s talking with the set decorator when Jordan comes over with a look on his face Timmy can’t read.  “Hey, you got a minute?”

 

Timmy nods and excuses himself, following Jordan over to a corner of the set that is unoccupied.  “All right, so here’s the thing, Tim.  I think you’re great.  You’re obviously insanely talented and you’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.”  Timmy blanches.  He’s not sure what this is about or where it’s going, but the way Jordan keeps shifting his eyes around to make sure no one was listening in is making him nervous.  “I wouldn’t normally do this, but I know you’ve been through a lot of shit the last couple of years, and I want to help.”

 

Timmy’s heart stops beating for a split second as he tries to decipher what Jordan is talking about.  Surely he couldn’t be _hitting on him_.  He knows he’s happily married.  But he’s not sure what else would make him act so shifty.  “Uh, Jordan, look, I’m flattered but…”

 

But Jordan continues his rambling, effectively cutting Timmy off.  “Look, a friend of mine, a screenwriter, sent me this really amazing script yesterday and he wants me to be the one to direct it.  There’s a part in it that I think your husband would be perfect for.  This guy owes me a favor, so if you think Armie would be interested, I’ll set up a meeting.”  He pulls a folded-up piece of paper out of his back pocket and hands it to Timmy.

 

Timmy stares at it, unblinking, for several seconds until his brain finally catches up.  “Wait, _this_ is what you wanted to talk to me about?!  You want to give Armie a role in your next movie?”  He’s too shocked by this turn of events to do much other than stare in disbelief at Jordan, who just raises an eyebrow at him.

 

“Well, yeah.  What did you think this was about?”

 

Timmy lets out a huff of surprised laughter, then shakes his head to clear away his previous thoughts.  “Nothing, never mind.  This is…this is really awesome, man.  I don’t know how to thank you for offering to do this.”  He looks down at the paper Jordan had given him.  It’s a character breakdown of what he assumes is the role Jordan had in mind for Armie.  Reading it over, he can see how Armie would be perfect for it.

 

“Yeah, I mean, I can’t make any guarantees, but if he wants to give it a go, I’ll definitely do my best to put in a good word for him.  He doesn’t deserve all the shit that happened, and neither do you.  So if I can help get things back on the right track for you, even in a small way, I’d be glad to.”

 

Timmy’s heart clenches with gratitude for this guy who barely knows him but is apparently willing to go out on a limb to help him and Armie.  “I – I don’t know what to say.  This is beyond amazing.”

 

Jordan smiles and shrugs.  “Just say you’ll talk to him about it.  I grew up being a fan of his work, too, and was sad to see him get so skewered in the media.  I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you both.”

 

Timmy returns the smile, but it’s tinged with a bit of sadness.  “I will, man, thank you so much.”  He doesn’t comment on what it was like for them after the scandal since he only knows second-hand facts about that time.  He tentatively goes in for a hug and is relieved when Jordan accepts it gratefully.

 

He pulls back and flushes bright red, unsure of what to say or do now.  He’s not used to people being so willing to help him in this world, having faced so much judgement and scorn in his first few weeks here.  It sparks a glimmer of hope in him that maybe he can work to undo the damage that both of their careers suffered and get them back to the place they are back in his world.  It would take time, but he’s nothing if not driven and persistent.

 

He clears his throat and shuffles his feet, still feeling overwhelmed by the entire conversation.  “Well, I um, I should get ready for the scene.”  He gestures vaguely in the direction of where the crew is setting up the shot, his face twisting into a nervous smile.

 

“Oh yeah, totally, do what you gotta do.  I know you’ll be great, anyway.”  Timmy flushes even harder at the praise, gives a short nod before turning away to go get into the headspace of his character one last time.  He tucks the script page into his bag with excitement then bounces off to join the rest of the cast and crew.

 

They get the shot in two takes, and once they have confirmation that everything looks and sounds ok, Timmy is officially wrapped, and the cast and crew send up a big round of applause for his work.  He’s too giddy to say much aside from a stuttered “Thank you for this incredible opportunity”, but everyone cheers him on and takes turns giving him hugs and well wishes for his next project.

 

The rest of the cast still have a few scenes to shoot, and Timmy decides to stick around for a bit just to watch and come down from the high he’s feeling.  He knows Armie won’t be back from the restaurant until mid-afternoon anyway, so he’s not in a huge rush to go back to an empty house.

 

He spends the time in between the scenes making sure to get everyone’s contact info so he can keep in touch, and before he takes off in the afternoon, he makes sure to thank Jordan again for everything. 

 

He spends the trip home imagining all the scorching sex he and Armie are going to have once he tells him about the role Jordan mentioned, and he’s already half-hard and revved up when he walks through the front door.

 

He puts his bag down by the door and is about to go in search of Armie when he hears his deep voice booming angrily down the hall, coming from the direction of the study.  He starts heading towards the room but stops short when he’s close enough to make out what Armie is saying.

 

He’s on the phone and clearly very upset with whoever he’s talking to.  “I don’t care, she’s my kid and I only get to see her for _two fucking days_ a month!  I’m perfectly capable of caring for a sick child, I handled it _just fine_ for the first year and a half of her life.  This is my weekend with them and you can’t legally keep her from me.”

 

Timmy’s heart stops as he mentally works out the date in his head.  It’s the first weekend of the month, which means the kids will be coming to stay with them.  He curses himself for forgetting, having been too caught up in the excitement of filming to think about much else.  He can’t believe it’s already been a whole month since the first time he’d experienced them being there, the joy of getting to spend the weekend with them but then the complete heartbreak at watching Armie have to give them back up at the end of it.  He remembers the feeling of Armie’s whole body shaking in his arms as he cried himself to sleep.  He’s not sure he’s ready to deal with that all over again, but he knows this is their reality here, so he doesn’t have much of a choice.

 

He takes a deep breath and rounds the corner of the study just as Armie hangs up the phone, throwing it down on the small leather couch in frustration.  “Everything ok, babe?”  His tone is cautious, not wanting to make things worse but trying to let Armie know he is there for him.

 

Armie sighs and runs a hand roughly through his hair.  “That was Jessica.  Harper has the flu and Liz is trying to use that as a reason not to have the kids come here this weekend.  Like I don’t know how to take care of my own damn kid!”  He lets out a loud, frustrated groan.

 

Timmy hesitates, unsure of the best way to comfort Armie right now.  “She can’t do that, can she?”

 

Armie takes a deep breath, steadying himself.  “No, she can’t.  I told Jessica I’d be on the phone with my lawyer in five seconds flat if they weren’t here at 6:00 on the dot tonight.  Fuck, I’m just so tired of this.”  Timmy watches him deflate, his whole body folding in on itself as he lets his emotions overtake him.

 

He can’t stop himself from moving then, going over and wrapping Armie up in a comforting embrace, Armie leaning down to rest his head on Timmy’s shoulder as he holds him.  Timmy rubs his back soothingly, turns his face to kiss Armie’s temple.  “What can I do, babe?  Do we need any cough medicine or tissues or soup?  I can run out and get some before they get here.”

 

Armie sighs, presses his forehead into Timmy’s neck for a couple seconds before straightening back up.  “Yeah, I think we have some stuff here but we should probably get more, just in case.  I’ll come with you, just give me a couple minutes.  I was right in the middle of something when she called.”

 

Timmy brings a hand up to cup Armie’s cheek tenderly.  “Of course, take your time.”  He leans in and kisses Armie softly, only lingering a few seconds before pulling back and giving his best encouraging smile.  Armie makes an effort to return it, but Timmy can see the exhaustion and weariness reflected in his eyes, making his chest ache with the desire to make things better.

 

He grabs hold of Armie’s hand as he turns to go, gives it a quick squeeze before releasing it again and heading back out into the living room to wait.  He catches sight of the bag he’d left by the door when he’d come in, sighing as he thinks back to the excitement he’d felt just a few minutes ago. 

 

But now wasn’t the time to bring it up.  Armie needed him right now, to get through this weekend with the kids, especially with Harper being sick and Liz being difficult about things.  His role as supportive husband would always come first.  Armie’s potential return to acting, and all the imagined sex Timmy was hoping would follow, would just have to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just as a kind of heads up, we are starting to ramp up to the main climax of the story pretty soon here. Next chapter will obviously deal with Armie's kids, but after that, BIG THINGS are coming. I'm really excited to share the rest of this story with you guys! It's been in my head for months now and I can't believe we're finally starting to wind down towards the conclusion. There are still a handful of chapters left, but most of them will be pretty jam-packed, so prepare yourselves!!
> 
> And on a personal note, as of this chapter, this story now has the same amount of chapters as my first fic in this fandom, By The Firelight's Glow, and it has now surpassed it in word count, making this officially the longest thing I've ever written. I'm honestly shocked that I've been able to write 2 huge fics in just over half a year. It's crazy, but it's been such an incredible ride. Thank you to everyone who's come along on the journey with me. <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I know it's been a minute but I'm back!! I'm going into my last week at work before I move next month, so I'm hoping to shoot out the next few chapters fairly quickly so I don't leave you hanging for too long. But we'll see what happens, lol.
> 
> So this chapter is pretty much the last of the "slice of life" chapters for this story. Going forward, things are going to be full steam ahead with a lot of plot movement. So...I hope you enjoy this one before all the craziness truly begins! :D
> 
> I know I still need to respond to the comments on the last chapter, but I hope you all know by now just how much you guys mean to me. This story has taken me on an incredible journey so far, and I'm most grateful that you all are along for the ride. Thanks for all the amazing support and encouragement for this fic! <333

They get to the store with just under an hour before the kids are supposed to arrive, and Timmy can see Armie’s eyes frantically scanning the shelves of the ‘cold and flu’ section of the pharmacy area, trying to decide what all they will need to buy.  He slowly reaches out a hand and slips it into Armie’s as they look at the different children’s cough medicines, and he instantly feels Armie relax beside him.  Armie squeezes his hand once, a silent gesture of appreciation, then picks out the items they need.  Timmy doesn’t let go of Armie’s hand until they’re out of the store and climbing into the car.

 

Jessica must have realized how serious Armie was about getting his time with the kids because she shows up ten minutes early, just as Armie is finishing making a pot of hot soup for Harper.  She’s carrying Harper on her shoulder with one arm and pushing Ford’s stroller with the other. 

 

As soon as Armie opens the door, he pries his sniffling daughter out of the nanny’s arms and holds her close as he makes his way back into the house.  “Hey there, angel.  I heard you aren’t feeling too good, huh?”  He pushes a few curls away from her face as she clings to him.

 

She lets out a pathetic sounding whine and snuggles further into Armie’s chest.  “Everything hurts, Daddy.  Can you kiss it better?”

 

Timmy’s standing in the doorway to the kitchen, making sure the soup doesn’t burn, watching as Armie gets Harper settled on the couch.  His heart clenches painfully as he sees Armie kiss his beautiful daughter from head to toe in order to try to make her feel better.

 

“There, how’s that?”  Armie’s smile is so soft, Timmy feels himself melting on the spot.

 

“Mmmm, nope, still hurts.  Try again.”  He can’t see Harper from where he’s standing, but he can perfectly imagine her scrunching up her adorable little nose and sticking out her lower lip in a pout that would have anyone in a three-block radius willing to bend to her even whim.

 

Armie chuckles softly before bending down again and peppering his daughter with kisses all over, making dramatically over the top smooching noises as he moves from one spot on her body to the next.  The entire thing causes Harper to start giggling, then coughing in quick succession.

 

“Oh baby, I’m so sorry!”  Armie stops his kiss-attack and pulls Harper up to hug her to his chest, rubbing soothing circles into her back until her coughing subsides.  Once she settles again, he lays her back down and covers her with a throw blanket, giving her forehead one more tender kiss as he wipes away a strand of hair.  “Just rest, angel.  We’ll wake you in a bit to see if you can try to eat something.”

 

Timmy can only barely make out Harper’s quiet “Ok, Daddy,” before he sees Armie stand up and make his way over to Jessica, who has been standing in the middle of the room watching the whole scene unfold.  She’s still holding Ford’s stroller, Ford quietly gnawing on the ear of his stuffed lion.

 

“Thank you for bringing them.”  His tone is flat, emotionless, and Timmy knows he’s trying to keep his cool about Liz attempting to keep them from him and not make things worse for himself.

 

Surprisingly, Jessica nods slowly and her expression softens.  “Look, it wasn’t my idea.  I…”  She stops, looks over toward the couch where Harper is resting.  “I know you’re a good father and love your kids.  It’s just she’s…”  She stops again, clearly uncomfortable talking about Liz like this, especially with Armie.

 

But Armie waves a hand, absolving her of the need to continue.  “Look, it doesn’t matter.  They’re here now, that’s all I care about.”

 

She nods again, a solemn expression crossing her face.  A few seconds later, she seems to collect herself and bends down to peer into Ford’s stroller.  “Bye Fordie!  See you Sunday.”  Ford babbles something at her, and she smiles faintly as she stands and makes her way over to the door.  She turns back before she walks out, and Armie gives her a short nod, a strange sort of understanding seeming to pass between them in that moment.

 

Timmy’s heart clenches as he watches, realizing that what he just saw was probably the most civil exchange they’ve ever had.  He aches to hold Armie, but he decides it might be better if he waits for Armie to come to him.

 

Luckily, he doesn’t have to wait long.  Armie bends down to pick up Ford from the stroller, then immediately walks over to Timmy and pulls him into a hug.  “I love you so much.  Never forget that.”  Armie whispers it into his hair, pressing a soft kiss there as they hold each other. 

 

Timmy wants to cry, wants to scream at how unfair this whole situation is, wants to find a way to fix everything so they can have the perfect life they were meant to.

 

In the end, he settles for looking up into Armie’s eyes and promising, “Never.”

 

Armie’s eyes light up, and, for the first time that day, he looks truly happy.  “Good.”  He presses another kiss to his forehead before pulling back with a smile.  “How’s the soup coming?”

 

Timmy had almost forgotten that he was supposed to be watching to make sure it didn’t burn.  He turns quickly to look over and assess the situation on the stove.  “I think it’s about ready.  Do you want to wake her now or…?”

 

Armie shakes his head.  “Nah, let’s let her sleep for a little while.  We can always rewarm it later.”

 

Timmy nods, fully willing to go with Armie’s judgement about what he thinks is best for his kids.  Just as he’s about to go turn off the stove, Ford starts fussing and reaching out for him.  Armie doesn’t even hesitate to deposit Ford gently into his arms, a soft hand running over his upper arm as he moves past them to attend to the stove himself.

 

He moves over to sit at the dining table, not wanting to disturb Harper as she slept in the living room.  Ford babbles and reaches his little hands up to grab at a curl that had flopped over his forehead.  It stings a little when he pulls on it, but he lets him do it anyway.

 

He hears Armie shuffling around in the kitchen, probably getting something for Ford to eat since it was already getting close to his bedtime.  Sure enough, a couple minutes later Armie emerges from the kitchen with a small plastic plate with some cut up chicken and some baby carrot sticks.  Just as Armie’s about to reach the table, Ford starts wiggling excitedly.  “Dada!  Dada!”

 

Timmy smiles and is about to hand the squirming child back to his father when Ford grasps a tiny fistful of Timmy’s shirt and begins exclaiming more emphatically, “Dada! Dada!”  His head whips up to meet Armie’s gaze in confusion, and when he sees that Armie has stopped in his tracks and is looking at his son with wide, teary eyes, he has no idea what to do.

 

“Is he – is he calling you ‘Dada’?”  Armie looks like he’s about to cry from happiness, and Timmy’s not sure what that means.

 

Timmy looks down at Ford, who is still squirming in his arms but is looking right at him as he continues to use the name he assumed would only be ascribed to his actual father.  “I _think_ so.”  He barely breathes his response, still not quite believing what’s happening right now.

 

It takes Armie another few seconds to finally move from the spot he’s been glued to, but eventually he comes around and deposits the plate of food in front of Ford before sitting down hard in the chair next to Timmy.  He watches Armie very carefully for several seconds, unsure how to react.  This seems _big_ somehow, but he’s not sure _why_.

 

“God, Timmy, do you know what this means?”  Armie’s voice is shaking with emotion, and Timmy is overwhelmed by something he doesn’t quite understand yet but somehow knows is a huge moment in his and Armie’s lives here.  “He’s finally understanding who you are, not only to me, but to _him_.  That you’re not just someone who helps watch him for a couple days a month, but that you’re an important person in his life.  This is amazing!”

 

Timmy barely has time to wrap his head around Armie’s words before Armie is pulling him to his chest, careful to keep Ford from being crushed between them, and kissing him deeply.  Ford seems to find this fascinating, quieting down to coo softly while he watches them kiss.

 

When Armie pulls back, he’s full-on _beaming_ at him, and Timmy can’t help but break out into his own huge smile at this new development.  He’s not sure what he’d expected it to feel like, the moment when he fully accepted his role as a parent to Armie’s kids, but the reality of it was more than he could have ever dreamed.

 

He helps Armie feed him, and when they’re done cleaning him up after he finishes, they decide they should wake Harper up to try to get her to eat something as well.  She grouches for a few minutes but eventually wakes up enough to eat half a bowl of soup before she whines that she’s full.  Armie gives her some cough medicine and check her temperature.  She has a low-grade fever, but thankfully nothing too serious.

 

They decide to put on a movie before bedtime, and of course Harper picks Frozen.  He’s expecting Armie to roll his eyes or protest, knowing how often he had to endure it back in his own world.  But when Armie simply smiles and pops the dvd in the player, he realizes something that makes his chest ache.  _This_ Armie never had the opportunity to get tired of watching the same movies over and over again, because he’s only had his kids for such a limited time for the past year. 

 

He tears up at the thought of all the things this Armie has missed with his kids already – how many “firsts” he wasn’t there for, how much of their everyday lives he isn’t privy to.  Armie looks over to him and he tries his best to force a smile on his face, but it’s bittersweet at best.  The high he felt earlier at Ford’s declaration of Timmy’s place in his life has mellowed at the stark reminder of the true price Armie had to pay for that to happen.

 

Armie reaches over and twines the fingers of one hand in his, the other stroking through the silky strands of Harper’s hair as the movie begins on the tv.  They only get 30 minutes into the movie before both kids are fast asleep curled up on their laps.  When they go to move them to their beds, Harper stirs enough to sleepily ask if she can sleep in their bed tonight, and Armie doesn’t even hesitate to agree.

 

Timmy volunteers to get Ford settled into his crib, and by the time he gets back to his room, Armie and Harper are already sound asleep.  Timmy crawls into the bed as quietly as possible so as not to disturb them.  He snuggles close enough to throw one leg over Armie’s under the covers and falls asleep within minutes.

 

When he wakes the next morning, Harper is sprawled out between them, limbs flung everywhere and a giant mass of hair fanning out in all direction on the pillow and sheets.  He blinks a few times and looks over to find Armie still asleep as well.  He slips out of bed as quietly as he got in last night, tip-toeing down the hall to check on Ford.

 

He pushes the door openly slowly and finds Ford sitting up in his crib, clutching his lion to his chest and sucking his thumb quietly.  “Hey, little man.  You wanna come help me make some breakfast?”  Timmy picks him up as he coos and babbles softly.  He can tell his diaper is full and needs to be changed, so he makes quick work of getting him a fresh one and picking out a cute outfit with zoo animals on the shirt for him to wear.

 

They head downstairs and Timmy starts a pot of coffee and pours Ford a small bowl of cereal to munch on.  He doesn’t know what Harper will be up for eating, so he decides to wait until Armie comes down to make that decision.  Which is about half an hour later, just as Ford is shoving the last handful of cereal into his mouth.

 

Harper’s fever still hasn’t come down and her cough is a little worse, so they spend the day curled up on the couch, alternating between watching movies, reading books aloud, and napping.  At one point in the late afternoon, Harper asks if she can have some ice cream, and Armie doesn’t see why not.  But they don’t have any at the house, so Timmy offers to run to the store again to grab some.

 

Since it’s only a couple of blocks away and it’s a nice day out, Timmy takes Ford for a walk in his stroller so he can get out of the house for a bit.  He’d started to get fussy a little bit earlier, so Timmy hopes getting a bit more stimulation will help.

 

The air is cooler than usual for early May, but it reminds him a bit of New York in early spring, which makes him smile.  They pass several bikers, joggers, and people walking their dog along their two-block journey.  One woman stops when her toy poodle tries to jump in Ford’s trailer to lick him, causing Ford to giggle madly.  The woman apologizes but comments on what an adorable son he had, which makes his breath catch in his throat.  His heart swells with pride, even though he’s still trying to wrap his head around the whole idea of being a _parent_ at 22.

 

They pick up 3 different flavors of ice cream – just in case – and then head back to the house quickly before it has a chance to melt.  When they get back to the house, Harper is trying to convince Armie to let her go outside and play, but she doesn’t even make it through her full question before she starts another round of coughing. 

 

Luckily, the ice cream helps soothe her throat a bit, and they make it through dinner and two episodes of Dora the Explorer before she passes out again.  Ford seems to be in a better mood after their walk and some food in his belly, and he’s happily gurgling away and playing with a set of building blocks until Armie decides it’s bedtime for him, too.

 

There’s not even a question about the sleeping arrangements for the evening.  Armie carries a sleeping Harper directly into their bedroom and Timmy follows with a yawning Ford right behind them.  They want to be with the kids as long as possible, and if that means sacrificing a bit of privacy and alone time, they both agree it it’s worth it to finally feel like a real family.

 

The kids curl into each other the minute they hit the bed, instinctively finding comfort in one another.  Armie and Timmy bracket either side of them, hands clasping together in the space between them as they protectively surround their sleeping children.

 

It’s in that moment he sees everything this life could be, if only Armie was allowed to be the father to his kids that he rightfully should be.  It that thought that follows him into unconsciousness, where he dreams of picnics in the park and vacations on a remote beach somewhere.  The four of them –  the perfect, happy family.

 

He’s startled awake the several hours later by Harper tickling his side and giggling madly.  The sun is just barely peeking over the horizon, and he groans at the early hour.  But then it hits him that Harper is acting like her old self again, and he does his best to put aside his grumpiness and indulge her.  He starts off on the defensive, but soon switches to offense as he begins poking his finger into her sides to gain the upper hand.

 

Her high-pitched squeal finally rouses Armie, and a few seconds later Ford begins screaming in delight as well, and soon all four of them are rolling around on the bed in a massive tickle fight, limbs flying everywhere.  It only ends when Ford gets a little overeager and bites Harper’s shoulder and she screeches out in pain.  That quickly puts a damper on the whole ordeal and they each scoop up a child and head downstairs.

 

It turns out Harper’s fever had finally subsided overnight, and her cough was decidedly less severe today.  They spend the morning playing quietly inside, but when Harper once again asks to go outside after their nap in the afternoon, Armie finally relents and allows her 30 minutes of playtime in the backyard.

 

Ford toddles after her, and when Armie sits down on the lounge chair and motions for him to come join him on his lap, Timmy realizes this was the first time all weekend they’d had any real time to themselves.  He takes full advantage of their short reprieve and snuggles in close to Armie, leaning his head up to give him a quick kiss.  “Mmm, that’s better.”  He grins and settles back onto Armie’s chest, enjoying the view of Harper running around the yard, Ford’s short little legs desperately trying to keep up with her.

 

Armie chuckles and sighs happily.  “Yeah, they’re a lot of work, but it’s totally worth it.”

 

Timmy hums in agreement, his mind going back to the feeling he got when Ford called him “Dada”.  Yeah, it was totally worth it.

 

They’re enjoying the tiny bit of physical intimacy so much that they lose track of time, and almost an hour goes by before they finally decide to call Harper and Ford back inside.  They only have a short while before Jessica is due to come pick them up again, so they mostly just hang out in the living room, Harper entertaining them all by acting out scenes from her favorite movies. 

 

She still has a bit of a cough, which gets worse when she laughs too much, but the difference from when she arrived on Friday and now is like night and day.  Ford hasn’t called him “Dada” since that first night, but he doesn’t need him to.  Just knowing that Ford thinks of him as someone important in his life is enough.

 

When Jessica arrives, Timmy suddenly has a flash of dread.  He remembers the traumatic scene from the month before, and after such a nice weekend with the kids, he’s not sure he can deal with that again. 

 

But this time around, things go much smoother.  Harper still pouts and whines, but it’s much less dramatic than what Timmy had witnessed before.  Armie is able to console her much easier, as well, promising that they’d spend all weekend at the beach next month to make up for having to stay inside for most of this one.  That seems to placate her enough, and after both Armie and Timmy give her a big hug and kiss, she goes over to Jessica willingly.

 

Timmy has a harder time letting go of Ford this time, having bonded with him in such a fundamental way that it felt wrong to hand him over now.  But he knew he didn’t have a choice, so he reluctantly says his goodbyes and, after Armie has done the same, places him in his stroller and wheels it over to where Jessica is waiting much more patiently than he’s seen in the past.

 

The energy between them all has changed to be one of resigned acceptance of the situation.  It seems no one really likes it, but none of them could change it, either. 

 

It’s that thought that plagues Timmy later that night while they lie in bed, Armie already asleep facing him with their legs wound together.  Timmy studies his features while he sleeps, looking for any signs of underlying distress.  Armie had been much calmer and less outwardly distraught by the kids leaving this time, but Timmy could tell it still tore him up inside just as much.  He’d gotten uncharacteristically quiet, not offering much more than a few word answers to Timmy’s attempts to make conversation while they ate dinner.

 

Watching him now, he knows they can’t go on like this for much longer.  He doesn’t know how yet, but he knows he needs to find a way to fix the situation with Armie’s kids.  He’s already been able to make some major headway in his professional life here, which he once thought to be a lost cause.  Maybe it’s possible to do the same with their family life.

 

In fact, the more he thinks about it, maybe the reason he was dropped into this world was to fix all of the things that had gone so horribly wrong when they got together.  Maybe they were supposed to live happily ever after in this life, but somehow it got screwed up and now he needs to set things right.  No matter what, he knows he can’t stand to see Armie separated from his kids like this for much longer.  Something needs to change, and soon.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok y'all, this is the chapter I've been worrying about since the very beginning, so I'm really hoping you guys don't hate it and trust me that I have a plan, lol. Fair warning, there is angst ahead, but there's also a healthy dose of cute fluff before that to hopefully make the sting a little less, haha. ;)
> 
> I know I'm WAY behind on responding to comments from the last couple of chapters, and I do promise I will go back through and reply, my life has just been super busy lately and I've been focusing on trying to actually work on updates first and foremost. But I sincerely appreciate EVERYONE who takes the time to comment, whether it just be an emoji or a huge in-depth comment. Every single one makes my heart burst with joy, so THANK YOU. <333
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter. It's fairly lengthy, but there was a lot I had to pack into it, so it's was kinda necessary, lol. Feel free to yell/cry/rant at me in the comments, haha.

Timmy slips out of bed early the next morning with a soft kiss to Armie’s shoulder.  Armie snuffles quietly and turns onto his stomach, shoving his arms under the pillow as he settles back into sleep.  He knows Armie is probably not going out for his run today, so he figures he has a little time before Armie actually wakes up.

 

He pulls on a pair of sweats and the oversized salmon t-shirt that Armie had told him to wear the first day he woke up in this alternate world.  He’d since learned that Armie had given it to him as his “something borrowed” for their wedding.  And apparently he’d never given it back, which Armie seems perfectly fine with.  It’s Timmy’s new favorite article of clothing.

 

He heads downstairs, makes a pot of coffee for when Armie wakes up and fixes himself some tea.  While the water heats up, his mind starts going over ways he can make things better for both Armie and himself.  He knows it isn’t going to be quick or easy, but he’s been in this world almost 2 months now and he’s tired of feeling like he has no control over his life here. 

 

The movie role was a fluke, a happy accident he was able to benefit from in the wake of the other Timmy’s absence, but he doesn’t have anything else lined up and now he’s back to the grind of auditioning for more bit parts.  He knows this is all part of the Hollywood game, and that even without the scandal, this might always be their life.  But he’s seen the other side, knows what he _could_ have, and he’s not about to stop fighting to make that a reality here as well.

 

And then there’s Armie.  He’d been up for hours last night trying to decide how to bring up Jordan’s offer to try and get him that role in his buddy’s movie.  He knows Armie can be stubborn, and he hasn’t been super receptive to his last couple attempts to discuss acting, but he thinks this could be an amazing opportunity for him.  Plus, maybe if he can start to make a career comeback, it might help his chances of getting a more reasonable custody arrangement.

 

He finishes preparing his tea, taking a sip as he considers his options.  By the time he drains the last few drops from his mug, he’s made a decision and makes his way into the study where he had moved his bag to be out of the way when the kids came.  He pulls out the script page with the character breakdown and opens his phone locate Jordan’s number.

 

It rings four times before a breathless Jordan answers the call.  “Timmy!  So great to hear from you man!  What’s up?”

 

“Hey!  Did I catch you at a bad time?”  He hopes like hell he’s not interrupting any _morning activities_ with Jordan’s partner.

 

His worry must be evident in his voice because Jordan huffs out an amused laugh.  “God, no!  I was just finishing up my run.  It’s all good.”  Another chuckle comes through the line and Timmy lets out a breath in relief.

 

A nervous giggle bubbles up from his throat, and he has to squeeze his eyes shut to focus on the actual reason he called.  “Right.  So about that part you thought Armie might be good for.  If you’re still willing to set up a meeting with your friend about it, that would be amazing.”

 

He can hear Jordan’s smile on the other end of the line as he answers.  “Of course, dude, absolutely!  I’m thrilled Armie is open to giving it a shot.  I figured it was a long shot after everything, but this role is perfect for him.  Let me give my friend a call see what I can do, and I’ll text you the information once we get things set up, ok?”

 

Timmy’s face breaks out into a wide grin at the prospect of this actually working out.  “Yes, awesome!  Thank you so much for doing this!”

 

“It’s my pleasure, man.  Listen, I gotta get back, but I’ll be in touch soon, I promise.”  He can hear the sound of keys jingling in the background and figures Jordan must have just arrived back at his house from his run.

 

“Great!  Thanks again!”  He hangs up and throws himself back into Armie’s big armchair, excitement flooding his system as he thinks of what this might lead to for Armie. 

 

He knows Armie had it much worse than he did when everything blew up – years of struggling to establish himself in the industry as more than just a pretty face with a famous last name, finally carving out the kind of career path he could be truly happy with only to have it all come crashing down around him in an instant.  He can tell by the way Armie’s been acting lately that he must really miss acting, especially now that Timmy is starting to get more substantial parts again.  Maybe this is his chance to finally get back to the life he should have had before everything got so messed up.

 

After another few minutes of daydreaming of the possibilities this might bring Armie in the future, Timmy decides to make them both some breakfast.  Usually Armie handles the food prep for obvious reasons, but Timmy can manage some eggs and bacon, at least.  And there’s just enough bread left for him to make toast as well.  He can’t help himself from humming quietly as he prepares the food, feeling giddy and excited about telling Armie about everything over a nice breakfast.

 

Timmy’s just sliding the last piece of bacon from the pan onto a plate when he hears soft footfalls on the stairs.  He smiles and turns to greet his handsome husband as he enters the kitchen, fully dressed and donning a curious smile as he looks at the spread Timmy made.

 

“What’s all this?”  Armie’s tone is light and playful, making Timmy’s tummy do a happy flip as Armie leans in to kiss his cheek softly.

 

A pleased smile creeps over his face as he sees Armie licking his lips at the sight of the food Timmy made for them.  “Thought I’d make breakfast for you, for a change.  You’re always doing everything for me, figured I was due to return the favor.”

 

A hand comes up to cup his cheek as Armie’s smile turns fond and appreciative, and he nuzzles into the touch.  “Well, I’m certainly not about to complain.  Thank you, babe.”

 

A pack of butterflies flutter rapidly through his stomach as Armie leans in for a kiss, soft pillowy lips caressing his own for a handful of seconds before pulling back again.  He doesn’t let Armie get too far, though, grabbing his chin in one hand and pulling him back for another kiss, suddenly feeling hungry for something other than the food he made.

 

Armie allows himself to be pulled back, leaning into the kiss and moving his arms to brace himself on either side of Timmy on the counter behind them, caging him in.  Heat flares through him as he licks his way into Armie’s mouth, met with an equally eager tongue and a low growl rising up from the back of Armie’s throat.  An undignified squawk bursts from his lips when Armie suddenly grabs his hips and hoists him up onto the counter without warning, but he recovers quickly and finds Armie’s mouth again, playfully nipping at his bottom lip as Armie’s hands start to roam over his back and into his hair.

 

The kiss goes on for what seems like hours, the silky heat of Armie’s mouth is intoxicating and he can’t get enough.  He leans back as Armie begins to move his mouth from his lips down to his throat, but when he moves his arms behind him to brace himself, his hand connects with the edge of the frying pan the eggs had been in, sending it clattering to the floor.

 

Startled by the noise, Armie jumps back and curses loudly, frantically whipping his head around until he spots the offending cookware turned upside down on the tile.  It only takes Timmy about three seconds to start giggling, the adrenaline from both the kiss and the sudden noise coursing through him at warp speed.  Armie turns back to him and joins in with his own soft laughter, running a hand through his hair as he takes a deep breath.

 

Timmy slides down from the counter and leans up to give Armie a peck on the cheek, smiling widely.  “Come on, food’s getting cold.”  He pulls back and nods his head at the counter where their plates of food are waiting for them.

 

“You’re absolutely right.  And that would be a shame, seeing as how you went through so much trouble to make it for me.”  Armie winks at him and grins, running his hands down Timmy’s forearms.  “Why don’t you take everything over to the table and I’ll clean up the mess on the floor?”

 

With a small nod, Timmy grabs the two plates of food and their mugs and ambles toward the table.  On his way past Armie, a giant hand lands firmly on his ass in a playful smack, and Timmy almost drops the entire load of dishware he’s carrying.  He glares back at Armie, but only receives a wolfish smirk in return.  He can’t help but melt into a giddy smile as he sets the plates down and sits, Armie joining him a minute later.

 

An air of comfortable silence surrounds them as they eat, their fingers of one hand twisted around each other between them.  Timmy can’t stop the growing excitement he feels about talking to Armie about the possible acting role, and by the time Armie shoves the last bite of toast into his mouth, he’s practically bouncing in his chair.

 

After Armie wipes his mouth and hand with his napkin, he turns to meet Timmy’s wide eyes, lips tugged up on one side in a half-smirk.  “All right, out with it.  Why are you so twitchy?”  Armie arches an eyebrow at him in fond amusement and curiosity, patiently waiting for Timmy to unload on him.

 

A rush of adrenaline shoots through his body, a flush of bright pink tinges his cheeks as he smiles widely, not even caring how obviously excited he is.  He lets out a nervous giggle, suddenly anxious about Armie’s reaction to his proposal.  “Well, you remember me telling you about Jordan, right?  My director?”  He watches Armie’s face for recognition, waiting for him to nod slightly before continuing.  “Right, well he’s actually a fan of your work and he –“

 

The sound of Armie’s phone going off is his pocket cuts him off, making him nearly fall off his chair at the sudden interruption.  He sees Armie pull the phone out of his pocket and grimace, and he knows it can’t be good news.  “Fuck, sorry babe, I gotta get this.  Just one second.”  Armie flashes him an apologetic look as he swiftly stands and presses the answer button, a clipped “Hey, what’s up?” falling from his mouth as he retreats away from the table and down the hall toward the study.

 

A rush of air explodes from his throat in a disappointed sigh.  He swipes a hand over his face and through his hair, trying to calm himself down as he waits for Armie to return.  The butterflies in his stomach have morphed into hummingbirds, and he desperately tries to swallow past the lump that’s forming in his throat.  He decides to busy himself with cleaning up from breakfast in an effort to distract himself.

 

Armie comes back a minute later as he’s loading the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, his brows furrowed in frustration.  “I’m so sorry, babe, I gotta go.  Adam never showed up for his shift and they can’t open the restaurant without a chef.  They’re trying to get a hold of him, but until they do, I gotta cover.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

 

Timmy barely has time to register what he said before Armie gives him a quick peck on the mouth with a quick “Love you” and turns to rush out the door, giving him the strangest sense of déjà vu from the first day he’d spent in this house almost two months ago.

 

Timmy’s whole body deflates in disappointment as he stares at the door Armie just whooshed through.  He realizes it’s not Armie’s fault that his co-worker is flaky, but he’d been so excited to discuss Armie’s hopeful return to acting, he can’t help but feel a little upset that now he has to wait, again.

 

He also realizes that if Armie does get back into the acting world, there’s a good chance they’ll have to spend more time apart due to filming schedules.  The idea of being away from Armie sends a painful shockwave through his system.  He’s gotten so used to having him there all the time, a constant warm blanket of love and comfort to wrap himself up in.  But if Armie can somehow manage to find his footing in acting again, Timmy would do whatever it takes to support him.

 

In an effort to keep himself from going crazy with anticipation, he decides to call Brian and see what he has lined up for him next.  There are a handful of auditions for minor roles that are shooting locally, and one bigger part in a sci-fi movie that’s shooting in Vancouver next month.  Apparently the director specifically asked for him to come in and read for it.  It would be for one of the main cast parts, which would require him to be away from L.A. for at least a month of filming, possibly longer.

 

Logically, he knew this was a possibility if he continued to act and be successful like he wanted, but he’s still not sure the best way to balance his acting life in this world with his relationship with Armie.  He decides he can at least go on the audition and see what happens, and if they offer him the role, he can cross the bridge of being away from Armie for that long when they come to it.

 

When he hangs up the call, he’s jittery and restless, going over all these new possibilities in his mind and tying himself up into knots as he tries to figure out the best way to have everything he wants for himself _and_ Armie.  There are a lot of balls in the air, and he’s afraid one wrong move will make them all come crashing down around him.  If this is truly going to be his life now, he wants to make the best of it.

 

After a couple of hours of trying and failing to stop his anxious thoughts, he decides to go out for some fresh air.  The park is pretty empty for early afternoon on a beautiful breezy day in early May, but he appreciates the peace and quiet.  He finds their spot easily, settling down in the grass with his back against the tree and closing his eyes in an effort to enter a state of calm. 

 

Breathing deeply, he clears his mind in the meditation practice his therapist taught him years ago.  He concentrates on the feel of the crisp spring air as it wafts over his face, the smell of the freshly cut grass, the sounds of the birds chirping, of kids laughing in another area of the park.

 

He doesn’t realize how long he’s been there until his phone buzzes in his pocket and his eyes pop open to find the sky a brilliant mixture of pink and orange as the day melts into evening.  He must have fallen asleep and lost track of time.  He fishes his phone out of his pocket and sees a text from Armie saying he’s on his way home and bringing Chinese takeout for dinner because he’s too tired to cook.

 

He quickly shoots a text back and scrambles to his feet, stretching his back and neck before starting to make his way out of the park and back home.  Even though he isn’t any more sure of anything than he was this morning, he’s in a much calmer headspace and the excitement is starting to return.  And when he gets another text as he’s rounding the corner of their street, this time from Jordan with the simple message of < _1:00 on Friday, lunch at Gjelina, bring Armie :)_ >, he can’t help the grin that breaks out on his face.

 

When he arrives home, the sun is just dipping below the horizon and the first stars are becoming visible in the night sky.  The SUV is in the driveway, signaling Armie is already home.  He can hear the engine still clicking as he passes by so he knows Armie must have only beaten him by a couple of minutes.  Sure enough, when he opens the door, he sees Armie pulling several Styrofoam containers out of plastic bags, his phone balanced between his shoulder and ear as he talks to someone on a call.

 

“That’s amazing, I’m glad things are finally coming together for you!  Yeah…yeah of course, I’m in.  Anything for you.  Just tell me when and where and we’ll be there.  Right…yeah, I will.  All right, you, too.  Give my love to Ferdinando.  See you guys soon.  Ciao!”  Armie catches the phone as it tumbles from his shoulder and he places it on the counter just as he looks up to see Timmy walking into the kitchen.

 

“What was that?”  Timmy can’t help but be curious about whatever Armie’s phone call had been about.  He can tell whatever it is, Armie is excited, so he’s assuming it’s good news of some sort.

 

Armie’s smile widens as Timmy reaches him, his hand coming up to tuck a stray curl behind Timmy’s ear.  “That was Luca.  He’s was finally able to get the financing for his next movie, so he can start preproduction soon.  And he thinks they’ll be shooting by some time mid-July, so I hope you’re ready for another Italian summer getaway.”  Armie leans over to kiss his temple quickly before going back to sorting through the pile of Chinese food that now lines their counter.

 

“Huh?”  He’s not sure what he’s missing, but he feels like it’s probably important.

 

Armie pauses to glance over at him, an unreadable expression on his face.  “Luca, his movie, he wants us to be a part of it…any of this ringing a bell?”  Armie quirks his eyebrow and gives a half smirk, obviously amused at Timmy’s forgetful nature.

 

Now that he thinks about it, he does vaguely recall Luca mentioning that he’d had roles for both of them in his next movie.  “Right, yes of course!  I’m excited to get back out and see him again!  It should be great!”  He takes a minute to let the news sink in while Armie finishes putting their food on the table, a jolt of excitement going through him.  Clearly this is a sign, fate’s way of signaling that it really is time for Armie to make his return to acting and turn things around.

 

A grin explodes across his whole face and he takes two long strides over to Armie and pulls him into a heated kiss, sucking Armie’s tongue into his mouth just as a surprised grunt escapes Armie’s throat.  He feels Armie melt instantly into the kiss and firm hands slide around his thin frame to settle on his back, pulling him closer.  His head is a mix of elation and _Armie_ and he feels lightheaded when he pulls back a minute later.

 

He leans their foreheads together in an effort to keep them connected another few seconds, and a small shiver runs through him when Armie hums contentedly into the narrow space between their lips.  “Mmmm, not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

 

The smile in Armie’s breathy question is evident even before Timmy opens his eyes to look back up into the pools of clear blue staring at him curiously.  He suddenly feels like he might drown in them if he stares for too long.  A nervous giggle bubbles up and out of his throat, and he chews at his lip for a few seconds before answering.  “I’m just really happy.”  His smile is so wide his cheeks ache, but he hardly even feels it.

 

Armie snorts a laugh and ruffles a hand through his hair.  “Well, if I’d known all it took was a trip to Italy for a couple weeks, I would have taken you ages ago.”  Armie’s lips twitch up in a smirk as he turns back to their rapidly cooling food on the table.

 

He’s unable to stop from rolling his eyes affectionately at Armie’s teasing.  “No, well I mean, _yes_ , I’m excited about going back to Italy and seeing Luca and everyone, but I’m talking about what this means for you, dummy.”

 

Armie stops just as he’s about to sit down to start eating and turns back, one eyebrow raised in question.  “And what does it mean for me?”

 

“Well, you know how earlier I had something I wanted to tell you?  It has to do with you maybe getting back into acting.  Jordan has this friend who’s a screenwriter, and Jordan is gonna direct his next movie, and he thinks there’s a role that you’re perfect for, and Armie, I read the character breakdown and he’s right, you were born to play this role.”  He can’t stop the explosion of ramblings that tumble from his mouth out of sheer excitement, and it isn’t until he’s forced to pause to breathe that he notices that Armie has gone very still and quiet beside him.

 

When Armie doesn’t respond, simply clenches his jaw and stares, Timmy can’t stop himself from continuing to spew out words just to fill the awkward silence.  “So anyway, Jordan told me he’d put in a good word for you and try to get you a meeting with his friend.  I think you still have to officially audition, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a formality.  He really wants to help you, well _us_ really, and he’s a really cool guy and a great director, you’ll love him.”

 

“Timmy…”

 

Timmy’s so wrapped up in his sales pitch that he barely registers the warning in Armie’s tone.  “So I told him to talk to his friend, and we have a lunch meeting with both of them on Friday.  Isn’t that amazing?  This can be your chance to go back to what you truly love!”

 

When Timmy finishes, he’s out of breath and a spastic ball of energy, ready to bounce off the walls at any second.  Until Armie finally speaks.

 

“What the fuck, Timmy?  What are you doing?” 

 

Timmy is wholly unprepared for the simmering anger in Armie’s tone, and he deflates like a balloon with a gaping hole.  “What…what do you mean?  I thought you’d be excited?”

 

Armie scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and setting his jaw.  “We’ve fucking talked about this.” 

 

Panic rolls through Timmy like a wave, realizing too late that he’s just stepped on a landmine, and the explosion is now inevitable.   He’s completely frozen, unable to do anything but stare at Armie with wide eyes, unsure of how to proceed.  It’s suddenly clear that he’s missing vital pieces of information regarding their prior conversations about this topic, but he doesn’t know what to do about it now.

 

Armie’s exasperated sigh slices through the silence.  “You know I’m done with acting.  For good.  Hell, _you_ were the one who stormed into my agent’s office to fire her when I couldn’t even get an audition for 3 months!  You’ve always supported my decision.  So why are you doing this now?”  The hurt he hears buried beneath the anger pierces through his heart in a way he’s never known before, leaving him gasping for breath.

 

“I…I just thought maybe if you…”  He attempts to stammer out an explanation, totally at a loss as to how to fix this.

 

“If I what, Timmy?  Huh?  If I accept this role out of charity then all the Hollywood bigwigs will just magically forget all the other shit from the past two years and welcome me back with open arms?  I know you’re still relatively new to this, but you can’t possibly be that naïve.” 

 

The bitterness in Armie’s tone makes him recoil.  He knows Armie’s had a rather push-pull relationship with the whole Hollywood game since the very beginning, but he always thought his love of acting outweighed all the other bullshit that went with it.  “But what about Luca?  You agreed to be in his movie.  You were excited about it not even five minutes ago!”  His confusion morphs into frustration as he tries to figure out why Armie is blowing up at him for trying to help.

 

The explosion of Armie’s frustrated groan startles Timmy so much he takes a half-step back.  “Because it’s _Luca_!  Of course I agreed to do it!  I’d do anything for that man, even if it means flying halfway across the world to show up on set for all of five minutes and be a glorified extra in his movie.  I don’t think I even have any lines!  It’s basically just an excuse to go to Italy for a couple of weeks and hang out with everyone again.”

 

Timmy takes a second to let the information sink in.  He briefly wonders what his own role would be, but that’s not important right now.  He shakes the thought away and refocuses on Armie.  “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to do this.  You love being an actor.”

 

Armie’s expression hardens again, his jaw clenching so tightly that it looks painful.  “No, I loved _acting_ , there’s a big difference.”

 

Something in Timmy snaps then, tired of the mental gymnastics he’s having to perform to try to follow Armie’s logic.  “What the fuck does that even _mean_ , Armie?!  You’re an actor!  You act!  It’s in your blood, remember?  You told me that the first week we knew each other.  Why won’t you even give this a chance?!”

 

He sees Armie’s hands clenching and unclenching slowly at his side, like he’s trying to keep his cool but not entirely succeeding.  “Why are you pushing this so hard?  What does this really have to do with?  Because up until now, you’ve never indicated you had a problem with my decision.”  His voice has dropped dangerously low, anger and hurt swirling together in a quiet seething drip of words.

 

Timmy lets out a long sigh, desperately trying to figure out how to pull this back.  “I just want you to be happy.”

 

Armie’s eyes snap up to meet his.  “What makes you think I’m _not_ happy?” 

 

It’s fair question, and one Timmy isn’t sure he knows the answer to.  He opens his mouth to try to explain, but his brain can’t seem to formulate any reasonable response, so he closes it again and just stares helplessly at Armie.  He watches the slow transition of Armie’s expression to confusion to hurt and finally settle on dread.

 

“Are _you_ unhappy?”  The quiver in Armie’s voice splinters his heart into a million pieces, and he doesn’t know how to begin to piece them back together.

 

“No!  Of course not!  I’m just trying to help!”  He realizes a beat too late that that was the exact wrong thing to say.

 

The anger reignites in Armie’s eyes, flashing heat so intense his face feels like it’s on fire.  “Help with what?!  Dragging me back into a life I willingly walked away from because it’s bullshit?!  Well thanks, but no thanks.  I’m good.”

 

The dismissiveness in Armie’s tone sparks his own rage to return.  “Why are you being such an asshole?!”  There’s a knot in his stomach the size of a cantaloupe, and he’s shaking from the intensity of his emotions as they crash over him.  They’ve never fought like this before, and it’s all too much.

 

“Because, Timmy, I don’t know why you would want me to go back there.  You know how miserable it was for me!  Why would I want to crawl back to a world that made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t welcome?  To grovel to people who openly despise me for shitty bit parts in terrible projects I don’t believe in or care about?  It’s pathetic and humiliating, and I refuse to put up with all the bullshit of that life.  It’s not worth it anymore.”

 

Timmy feels like he’s been slapped across the face.  Tears spring up to the corners of his eyes as he fights to keep control.  “You mean exactly like I’ve been doing?”  The question stops Armie in his tracks, his eyes widening with instant regret.  “Is that what you really think of me?  That I’m pathetic for trying to make something of my career in the aftermath of our affair blowing up both of our lives?  Jesus, Armie.”  His voice breaks and his lip quivers as the full weight of Armie’s words settle like a ton of bricks on his heart.

 

Armie takes a hesitant step toward him, reaching a hand out to place gently on his shoulder.  But Timmy shrugs him off, too devastated by the revelation that Armie could possibly think that about him to be open to his comfort right now.

 

“Timmy, you know that’s not what I meant.  I’ve always supported your ambition to keep acting.”  Armie’s voice is quiet, apologetic, but Timmy can’t hear it right now.

 

A lone tear spills over and he swipes at it angrily before it reaches his chin.  “I thought I knew that.  But maybe I was wrong.  Maybe I don’t know you at all.”  Something squeezes around his heart and suddenly he can’t breathe.  He needs air, needs to be away from Armie, from the sudden and intense feeling that all of this is wrong.

 

Before Armie has a chance to respond, he’s turning around and scrambling toward the front door.  Armie’s cries for him to stop are drowned out by the rushing sound of blood pumping through his ears, and he doesn’t even know where he’s going, only that he needs to get out of there before he breaks so completely that there won’t be any way to fix it.

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been running when his legs start to ache and his lungs are screaming for air.  He comes to a halt in front of an old church, flopping down on the steps in front as he finally lets the tears he’s been holding in fall.

 

Fear and dread pulse through his veins, and for the first time since he woke up in this life, everything feels _wrong_.  There’s a voice in his head telling him that he doesn’t belong here, that even though this Armie seems so much like his own back in his other life, that maybe the differences between them run deeper than he first realized. 

 

But the thought of losing either version of Armie terrifies him.  He’s loved him for so long, and now that he knows what it’s like to have that love returned and be happy with him, he isn’t sure he can just let it go.  He lets out a hiccupping sob as he tries to make sense of everything in his head.

 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when his phone buzzes in his pocket a minute later.  He swipes at his eyes with one hand while pulling out his phone with the other, sniffling softly when he sees Armie’s picture lighting up the screen.  He clenches his eyes shut for a second before opening them again, knowing that he can’t talk to Armie right now.  He needs time to process everything.  Talking to him now would only making it worse, and he desperately wants to find a way to move past this.

 

His chest constricts painfully when he pushes the red “decline” button on his phone, feeling completely at a loss for what to do.  When the screen reverts back to the home screen, a notification pops up indicating a missed text from his mom from an hour ago.  He quickly unlocks the phone to view it, a fresh wave of emotion bubbling to the surface when he sees the full message.

 

It’s a picture of his mom and sister, sitting at the kitchen table in his mom’s apartment making goofy faces at the camera.  The message underneath reads _< Who needs normal when you have us?  ;)  Hope this makes you smile.  Love to you both>_

 

His entire body floods with the overwhelming feeling of homesickness.  He’s ordering an Uber before he can even fully formulate a plan, acting purely on impulse and the base need for his mother’s comfort.  He’s at the airport just over 20 minutes later, the redeye flight to NY already booked.  He goes through security with no issues since he doesn’t have anything but himself, his phone, and his wallet with him, and by the time he’s walking up to the terminal, he has 30 minutes until they board.

 

He finds the bar closest to his gate and orders a shot of 100 proof tequila, then another.  He’s just finished downing his third when his flight is called to board, and he stumbles toward the gate, giving a slurred thank you to the woman checking his boarding pass. 

 

He wobbles down the tiny aisle of the plane, plopping into his seat as his vision starts to go fuzzy around the edges.  He somehow manages to get himself strapped in for the flight, but by the time the flight attendants start their safety spiel, his eyes are slipping shut. 

 

A brief memory of the last time he was on a plane floats through his hazy mind.  Armie, holding his hand and counting as they breathed deeply together to keep his anxiety in check.  He whimpers softly at the vision, feeling a pang in his chest that Armie isn’t here with him this time.  The copious amounts of alcohol running through his system help to calm him this time, though, and by the time the plane is taxiing down the runway, Timmy is completely unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to fix it, don't worry!!! <333


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Umm, so it's been a hot minute since my last update. I apologize for that, but life got a bit insane as I literally moved across the country a couple weeks ago and I was completely unable to write while all of that was going on. But I am back! And hopefully, fingers crossed, I should be able to update much more regularly from here on out. There are only a handful of chapters left now, so we're coming up on the end of things soon!
> 
>  
> 
> And as always, thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos, comments, or expressed their love for this story on other platforms. I've been the worst at responding to comments lately but please know that I read every and cherish every single one. You guys are the best and I am honored to be a part of this great community! <333

Timmy wakes with a start as the stewardess gently shakes him awake.  “Sir, excuse me.  We’ve landed and are deboarding the plane.  Welcome to New York.”  She has on a cheery smile and her tone is light, but as his eyes slowly focus he can detect a hint of wariness in her expression.  He quickly gathers himself and shoots her a grateful smile as he makes a hasty retreat down the aisle and off the plane.

 

It’s a rainy, dreary morning in NYC and he can’t help but think how appropriate it is for how he’s feeling.  He catches a taxi – too impatient and tired to deal with the subway at this hour – and gives the address to his mom’s place in Hell’s Kitchen.  Maybe a bit of home will help him sort out the mess in his head.

 

By the time the cab reaches the apartment, it’s pouring, and Timmy is soaked to the bone as he stands in front of his old front door.  He’s suddenly unsure of himself, realizing that this version of his parents won’t be the exact same as he’s used to.  He gives himself all of five seconds to consider that train of thought before he shakes himself out of it and knocks on the door.  They were still his parents, and even though the events of the last 2 years may be different from his other life, what he needs right now is their love and guidance, and he knows that will be the same in any universe.

 

The door opens after about 15 seconds, Nicole’s expression swinging from ecstatic to see her son standing in the doorway unexpectedly to worried in about two seconds flat when she sees his current state.  “Timmy!  Baby, what’s going on?  Why are you all wet?  Is everything ok?  Where’s Armie?”

 

She’s already got an arm outstretched as she’s talking, beckoning him inside, and when Timmy hears her last question, he loses his last shred of composure and collapses into her with a heavy sob.  “Oh god, Mom.  Everything is so fucked up!”

 

Gentle hands wrap around him and smooth up and down his back as he starts to cry in earnest against his mother’s shoulder.  “Ok, sweetie, it’s ok.  Let’s just go inside and we can talk about it, all right?”  Soft lips against his temple make him draw in a shuddering breath as he nods.  “Ok, good.  Come on.”

 

He allows his mother to maneuver them both inside, closing the door quietly as she moves them over to the sofa in the living room.  Just as he’s about to plop down onto it, he starts to shiver, the cool air of the apartment hitting his wet skin and causing it to break out into goosebumps.

 

Nicole’s hands come down to rub over his arms in an attempt to give him some warmth.  “Why don’t you go take a nice, hot shower and get out of these clothes?  I’ll go grab you something fresh to wear.”

 

He sniffles once and nods, the thought of washing away the cold and the plane sounding amazing right now.  He shuffles into the bathroom and peels the sopping clothes from his body, turning the water temperature up as high as it would go before ambling into the small stall.  He stays under the scorching spray until his body finally begins to relax and he feels semi-normal again.

 

When he emerges from the bathroom, a cloud of steam following him into the hallway, he pads across the hall to his old room to find an outfit laid out for him on the bed.  He pulls them on, along with an old hoodie that is just the perfect amount of worn and comfortable, and slowly makes his way back out into the apartment.

 

He finds his mom sitting in the kitchen, a fresh mug of Earl Grey on the table waiting for him.  He moves over to her, bending to place a kiss on her head before taking a seat across from her.  As he lifts the mug to his lips, he feels the sense of “home” rush over him and he lets out a soft sigh.  He doesn’t know how long it’s been for the Timmy of this world since he’s been back here, but for him, it feels like an eternity.

 

He looks over and sees a soft smile on his mother’s face, her hand reaching over to tuck a damp curl back behind his ear.  “It’s so good to have you home, T.”

 

His heart swells at the gesture and he leans into her touch, allowing himself to revel in the comfort he flew all the way across the country to find.  “I’ve missed you so much.”  His voice breaks on the last word and a fresh round of tears springs to the corners of his eyes.

 

Nicole scoots closer and pulls him into another hug, and Timmy goes willingly.  They stay for long minutes like that, Timmy wrapped in his mother’s soothing embrace while he tries to calm himself enough to explain his showing up out of the blue.

 

When he finally pulls back, she must see him struggling to find the words because she runs a hand over his face, stroking his face gently.  “You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to.  You know you’re always welcome here, no questions asked.”

 

A small smile crosses his face at her words.  A huge wave of relief washes over him knowing that, whatever other crazy differences there were in this world, his relationship with his parents still seems to be solid.

 

Eventually, he gathers his strength and spends the next hour explaining everything, going from him finally starting to get acting roles that are leading somewhere for himself and also the offer for Armie and the fight about it.  He even mentions how he was hoping it might help in the custody case for Armie’s kids.

 

His mother listens to him patiently, waiting until he finishes to say anything.  In the end, her only real advice boils down to “Armie loves you, talk to him.”

 

Timmy sighs, knowing his mother is right, but he still needs a little time to sort out everything he’s feeling and try to find a way to fix the mess he’s in before facing Armie again.

 

After eating a huge breakfast, which Nicole had insisted on making for him, he settles onto the couch with a fluffy throw blanket to binge watch The Office and try to zone out for a bit before having to face reality again.

 

The sound of blaring sirens floating through the open window startle him awake several hours later.  He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he blinks his eyes open and looks around, the afternoon sun is streaming onto his face and his Netflix is paused, the screen accusingly asking him if he’s _really_ still watching. 

 

He picks up the remote and clicks the screen off with an annoyed grunt, rubbing his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up.  A minute later, the front door clicks open quietly and his mom comes inside with a handful of plastic grocery bags.  Her eyes flick over to him when he sits up, a gentle smile crossing her features.  “Hey baby.  Did you get some sleep?”  She drops the bags on the counter quickly before making her way over to the couch to sit beside him.

 

He nods, still a little groggy from his unintended nap.  She seems pleased with his answer, leaning over to place a soft kiss on his forehead before getting up again to tend to the bags she brought in.

 

They spend the next few hours together in the kitchen, talking about everything and nothing.  Timmy feels the crushing weight of his fight with Armie lifting slowly from his chest, the tightness unspooling as he lets the easy laugh coming from his mother’s smiling lips soothe his homesick heart.

 

He’s in the middle of looking over one of the many takeout menus his mom has stashed in their drawer when there’s a firm knock on the door.  Nicole pops her head out from around the corner of the hallway, asking if he can get the door.  He’s not sure why she isn’t able to, but he just shrugs and drops the menu on the counter as he makes his way over to the entrance of the apartment.

 

When the door swings open, he blinks several times to make sure he isn’t imagining the person standing on the other side.  Armie’s worried expression turns to face him head on, the crease between his brow severe and his eyes shining with moisture.

 

“Thank fucking God.”  Timmy doesn’t even have a second to process Armie’s words before he’s being crushed to Armie’s chest in an embrace he can only describe as desperate.  But just as he manages to get over the shock of _Armie is here_ and he starts to return the hug, his world is spinning again as he’s pushed back…hard.  “Do you have _any_ fucking idea how scared I was when you took off like that?!  What the _fuck_ , Tim?  We don’t do that, we _never_ walk out on each other!”

 

Timmy’s eyes go wide as he’s suddenly faced with a very angry Armie towering over him.  He starts to stutter a response, but Armie’s eyes narrow into sharp daggers and he cuts himself off, knowing he royally fucked up and there’s no real way to excuse disappearing the way he did.

 

“Fuck, Timmy, I was about five seconds from calling the police when your mom called to tell me you were here.  And why didn’t _you_ call me?!  Or text, or fucking _something_?!  You got on a plane and flew across the entire damn country and couldn’t even bother to tell me?!”

 

Timmy hears the tiny waver in his voice, sees the pain and worry behind the anger in his eyes, and something in him cracks wide open.  He crumples to the floor, landing hard on his knees as they give out beneath him.  “I’m so sorry, Armie.  I’m so, so fucking sorry.”  He’s sobbing into his hands, unable to look up into the eyes of the man he loves knowing how badly he fucked everything up.

 

It’s only a few seconds later when he felt gentle hands prying his own from his face and strong arms wrapping around him.  Armie is now also on his knees, mirroring his position, cradling him in his arms as he falls apart.  He knows this is unfair, that he’s the one who ran away and scared Armie half to death, and now Armie is having to comfort him because he can’t handle the fallout.

 

He hears Armie’s gentle voice against his ear, trying to calm him.  It takes another minute before he can get his emotions under control enough to stop his shuddering sobs.  When he finally pulls back enough to meet Armie’s eyes, a stray tear still clinging to his eyelashes, all the anger that had been present just moments before has vanished, replaced with only love and concern.  He’s too overwhelmed to process how that’s even possible, given his actions over the last 24 hours.

 

He takes in a long breath, dropping his gaze to the floor.  “I’m really sorry I scared you.  I just needed some time to process everything.  But I shouldn’t have taken off like that.”  His front teeth sink into his lower lip as he waits for Armie’s anger to return, for another round of arguing to begin.

 

Instead, he feels a firm hand underneath his chin, pulling it up so that he once again is forced to look into Armie’s eyes.  “No, you shouldn’t have.  We’re supposed to be a team and work through our shit together.  But…”  Armie pauses, and Timmy can see the conflicting emotions in his eyes as he considers how to continue. 

 

Armie seems to realize in that moment that they are both still on their knees on the floor, so he reaches out to pull Timmy up with him before moving over to settle on the couch.  Once they’re both comfortable, he continues his thought. 

 

“I know what I said, before you ran out…I know that I hurt you.  And that’s the last thing I wanted to do.  You know I’ve always supported your desire to act and will continue to do so wherever it leads you.  And I hope it’s somewhere big because the world deserves to know just how talented you are.  I just don’t know that it’s a world I can ever feel comfortable in again, after everything that happened.  I made a choice to put it behind me, and I don’t want to go back.  I have new dreams now, ones where I don’t have to choose between them and you.  Because Timmy,” he pauses again, a soft smile crossing his face, “I’m _always_ going to choose you.”

 

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying again until Armie raises a hand to his face and swipes his thumb over the wet streak sliding down his face.  He lets out a shuddering breath.  “Really?”  His own voice sounds foreign to him, breathy and higher pitched than usual, the urgent need to be reassured evident in his tone.

 

The sudden, loud laugh that erupts from Armie’s throat actually startles him.  “Yes, you dumbass!  You didn’t get that when I married you?”  One of Armie’s eyebrows raises in amusement and he lets out another small chuckle.  “I know it’s only been a year but I figured you knew that by now.”

 

A wave of relief washes over him so intensely that he has to grasp the edge of the couch beneath him to keep from falling over.  His mind races with the thought that this Armie not only chose him once back when they were filming together, but that he’d still do it again even after everything that happened in this world because of it, after all that he’s lost. 

 

He surges up and catches Armie’s mouth in a bruising kiss, letting the fear and pain of their fight slip away with the slide of his tongue against Armie’s and the comforting feeling of Armie’s firm hand on the back of his head as he returns the kiss with matching intensity.

 

When he pulls back several minutes later, gasping for air, Armie’s words from earlier echo in his mind and he has a terrible realization.  His eyes go wide as he draws in a sharp breath.  “Oh fuck, our anniversary!  I’m such an asshole!”  Shame floods through him as he buries his face in his hands.

 

“Yeah, your timing is for shit, no argument there.”  Armie’s tone is lighter than he knows he deserves, and a fresh wave of guilt washes over him, feeling unworthy of Armie’s forgiveness. 

 

He lets out a low groan, berating himself for not even considering that their anniversary was tomorrow when he had the brilliant idea to run away across the entire fucking country.

 

“Hey, listen.”  Armie’s voice is hushed as he gently pries Timmy’s hands away from his face.  “The only thing I care about now is that you’re safe, and that we can move past this and get back to normal.”

 

But Timmy can’t help the knot in his stomach from tightening painfully.  “But you probably had all these plans and I just ruined everything.”  He goes to cover his face with his hands again, but Armie catches them in his own and pulls them to his lips, pressing tender kisses to each one before threading their fingers together in a tight hold.

 

“It doesn’t matter.  None of it matters.  I don’t care where we are, or what we do.  Just as long as we’re together and happy.  Ok?”  Armie’s eyes search his, pleading for him to accept the absolution Armie is offering him.  He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, nodding slowly on the exhale.

 

Armie’s arm winds around his shoulder and pulls him in, and he allows his weight to rest against Armie’s, curling into his embrace as Armie cards his fingers through his hair.

 

They stay like that for what feels like hours until Nicole quietly shuffles into the room with a warm smile.  “Now this is a sight for sore eyes.”

 

They both look up with matching grins.  “Hey, Momma C!”  Armie moves to get up to greet her properly, but Nicole waves a hand to signal to stay put.  Armie’s soft chuckle reverberates through Timmy’s body as he settles back against him and resumes their previous position.

 

“I assume you boys have made up now?”  She raises an eyebrow and gives Timmy a knowing smile.  Timmy ducks his head sheepishly, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile of his own as he nods.  “Good.”  She gives them a wink before moving over to kiss them both on the forehead affectionately.  She cups both of their faces in her hands and squeezes once before pulling back.  “Ok you two, up you go, you’re gonna be late.”

 

They exchange questioning glances with each other before turning back to Nicole.  “Late for what?”  Timmy doesn’t remember making any plans since he’d been there, and even if he had, he wasn’t about to leave Armie’s side now.

 

The mischievous grin on his mother’s face as she answers makes his skin tingle with anticipation.  “You’ll see.  I already called an Uber to pick you up, it should be here by the time you get downstairs.  They already have the address, just give my name at the front desk when you get there.  Now scoot!”

 

She swats at Timmy’s legs playfully, startling him into action as he scrambles off the couch, Armie following a second later, both of them confused and highly suspicious but knowing better than to question Nicole when she gave them an order.

 

They stumble out the door a minute later, Armie’s hand in his as they make their way down to the street in a flurry of confusion and curious anticipation for what they might be in for next.  Their ride is waiting for them when they exit the building, and despite asking where exactly they were headed, they were only given the same “you’ll see” response as before.  Timmy briefly wonders just what lengths his mother had gone to in order to keep their destination a secret and why, but as the car pulls to a stop, he starts to understand.

 

He steps out of the car with his mouth open in a disbelieving gape.  Armie climbs out after him a second later, throwing a distracted “thank you” to the Uber driver as he pulls away and leaves the two of them standing in front of one of the swankiest hotels in all of New York City: the Baccarat Hotel.

 

“Uhh Timmy?  What the hell is going on?”  Armie’s question fades out as he continues to gawk at the majestic building in front of him.  While most other people dreamed of staying in the Plaza Hotel for a night, Timmy had always been more interested in one day staying at the Baccarat.  He’d probably mentioned it to his mom a hundred times over the years, saying how one day he’d make it big and splurge for them all to get a suite to celebrate.  He has no idea how he ended up here in this life, when he’s barely made enough from acting to keep his health insurance from expiring.

 

“Babe?”  Armie’s now more insistent voice cuts through his haze and he turns to face him.

 

“I…I have no idea, honestly.  I guess we should go inside and find out.”  He shrugs helplessly, still not sure what to make of any of this.

 

Armie nods and gestures for Timmy to lead the way.  Timmy takes a few short steps in front of Armie before stopping, waiting for Armie to be beside him so he can take his hand once again as they walk inside.  Armie squeezes his hand and shoots him a warm smile as they approach the reservation desk.

 

Timmy clears his throat and gives his mother’s name as instructed, and a minute later they are handed a pair of keys and given a room number on one of the higher floors.  They exchange glances again but decide to just go with it as they start toward the elevators.

 

Five minutes later, they are standing in front of the doors to one of the most opulent suites in the place, and Timmy’s heart is beating out of his chest when he turns the key and the door opens.  He looks up at Armie, who looks back at him with a slight shrug and a quirk of his head, indicating they should go in and see what the deal is.

 

With a deep breath, he steps into the room and his heart stops as he looks around the enormous luxury suite.  He’s sure there’s been some crazy mistake, he couldn’t possible be in the right place.  Even back in his regular life where he’d had a taste of mild success and technically could afford to, he’d never booked anything even half as fancy as the room he’s standing in now.

 

His eyes are still taking in the details of the suite when Armie finally moves away from him over to one of the tables along the side of the main hall.  On it there’s a huge basket filled with two bottles of champagne, chocolates, and several small bags of pistachios.  There’s a note leaning against it, and Armie picks it up, reading it aloud to a still-stunned Timmy.

 

“Happy Anniversary, my dearest boys.  You have fought hard to begin your beautiful life together, and you deserve a bit of luxury to celebrate your love on this joyous occasion.  So this is our gift to you.  May all your dreams come true and bring you ever closer to each other.  We love you.  Marc and Nicole.”

 

He hears Armie let out a low whistle as he sets the note back down, turning slowly to examine the massive suite they apparently have all to themselves.  Timmy is lost in his own thoughts when Armie finally comes back over to him, stroking a hand softly over his cheek.  “Hey, you.” 

 

Timmy leans into the touch, turning his face so he can press a kiss to Armie’s open palm.  Armie’s other hand comes up to push back a strand of curls that had fallen over his forehead.  A contented humming sound comes out of him involuntarily at the gesture and he feels his heart swell.  “I love you.”  It’s barely a whisper, a sacred confession from his heart to Armie’s as they stand together on the eve of their anniversary in this glorious suite gifted to them by those who believe in their love just as much as they do.

 

Armie smiles and leans down to capture Timmy’s lips with his own, the feeling of soft pillowy silk paired with the gentle scrape of Armie’s day-old stubble making his skin tingle.

 

When Armie pulls back, a happy grin on his face, he looks around and quirks his head.  “So, what should we check out first?” 

 

As Timmy considers Armie’s question, all of the excited energy slowly drains out of him as the emotional toll from the day finally begins to set in.  As amazing as it is to be here in this huge suite with so many luxuries, all he really wants to do is curl up with Armie in bed and fall asleep in his arms.  He sighs and leans into Armie’s side, a hand coming up to run over Armie’s chest.  “Is it horrible if I just want to go to sleep?  It’s been a long day and I’m exhausted.”  He looks up at Armie with big, pleading eyes and receives a fond smile in return.

 

“Whatever you want, babe.  That sounds perfect.”  Armie leans down to kiss his forehead before pulling them both down a long hallway toward the main bedroom area.

 

He vaguely notices the extravagant décor as they go, still slightly in awe that his parents did this for them.  He can’t even imagine how they could afford something like this, but that was a question for another day. 

 

They reach the bedroom and slowly peel off their clothes before climbing into one of the most comfortable beds Timmy’s ever been in.  He immediately seeks out Armie’s warmth and finds himself wrapped tightly in Armie’s long limbs seconds later.  A contented sigh escapes his throat as he settles into Armie’s embrace, finally releasing the tension he’s been holding onto since he ran out of their house the previous night.

 

Just before he dips into unconsciousness, he hears Armie’s gentle baritone float over him, warming him from the inside out.  “Happy Anniversary, baby.  I love you.”

 

Timmy smiles and hums happily, snuggling closer into Armie’s chest seconds before the world fades away and everything goes quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that it was worth the wait! I'm sorry again for such a long time in between the chapters, but it truly couldn't be helped. If it's any consolation, I will tease that the next chapter will basically just be pure smut, so you have that to look forward to! And much sooner this time, I promise! :D


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh hi, guys!! I know it's been a while. All I can say is life has been a bit difficult for me lately, and it's unfortunately messed with my writing-fu. Thankfully, things seem to be flowing again now, so here's hoping I can keep it that way at least until I get this story finished.
> 
> So umm, I'm going to let this chapter speak for itself. It's pretty long, but I hope by the end, you'll understand why.
> 
> Also, I continue to be the absolute worst at replying to comments, but I love each and every one of you dearly. Thank you for continuing to read and show love and support for this story. It makes this entire process worth it. You guys are the best. <333

When Timmy blinks his eyes open, the sky is a hazy mix of blue and pink pastels as dawn creeps closer.  The steady rise and fall of Armie’s chest and the sound of his heartbeat under his ear fill him with a sense of home and belonging that he’s been struggling to fully accept since he got to this world two months ago.

 

The fingers of his left hand gently splay over Armie’s chest, the silver band on his ring finger catching the sliver of light coming in from the window.  Slowly, he tilts his face up to look at Armie’s face, peaceful and soft as he slumbers on.  There’s a prick in his heart as he looks on, knowing what a mess he made of everything recently, making Armie worry and chase him across the country because he was too cowardly to deal with the reality of his situation.

 

Careful not to wake him, he slides out of Armie’s embrace and off the bed, moving silently to the giant walk in closet on the other side of the room to find a robe.  He wraps himself in the soft, fluffy material and glances back at Armie quickly, finding him still unconscious, before slipping out of the room.

 

As his eyes adjust and blink away the last bits of sleepy blurriness, he takes a minute to fully appreciate the grandeur of the suite his parents booked for them.  He runs his fingers along the textured black and white detailing on the walls, eyes flicking up to see the crystal scones and impressive chandeliers that hang over the dining and living areas.  The deep maroon carpet adds the perfect bit of contrast to the otherwise colorless décor.

 

He pads over to the full-length window across from the kitchen, deciding to forgo starting the coffee in lieu of watching the sunrise over his favorite city in the world.  It seems like it’s been lifetime since he’s done this, and in fact, it _was_ in another life.  That thought prickles the hair on the back of his neck as the first rays peek out from behind the horizon.

 

His mind wanders to what Armie had said last night – that he would always choose Timmy, no matter what.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realizes that was true all along, but he’s been so caught up in the uncertainty of his situation and worries about losing Armie that he hasn’t let it really sink in.  And he hasn’t really allowed Armie to prove it to him in the way that mattered, either.

 

A pale golden glow creeps over the city, and Timmy takes a deep breath as he thinks about everything he’s been through with this Armie.  It’s been two of the most amazing months of his life, getting to experience being married to Armie and how it feels to be truly loved and cherished by him the way he’s always wanted.  Their connection is so strong, it makes him feel like nothing could break ever it.

 

But deep down, he still has the niggling feeling that until Armie knows the full truth about everything, none of this is truly _his_.  He’s done a great job of pretending this is his life now, but with everything that’s happened the last few days, he suddenly feels like a huge imposter.  And if he really is going to be in this life for good, he knows he can’t continue to lie to Armie about who he really is.  If he and Armie are going to celebrate beginning a new year of being married, he wants to do it with a clear conscience and Armie knowing the full truth.  He just has to trust in Armie’s word that he will always choose him – no matter which version of him that might be.

 

He watches the city come alive as the day begins in earnest.  A wave of calm rolls through him as he makes peace with his decision.  He closes his eyes against the piercing glare of the sun that is now climbing over the buildings.  He takes a slow deep breath in just as a pair of warm arms wind around his middle, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his robe.  His skin prickles with excitement as Armie’s face nuzzles into the back of his neck, his lips ghosting across his hair line.

 

“Morning, gorgeous.”  The low rumble of Armie’s sleep-rough voice makes him smile to himself.

 

“Hi, yourself.”  He moves back to bring his body more flush with a still very naked Armie.

 

Armie’s fingers slide along the edge of the robe, one long digit teasing inside the opening to trace along his collarbone lightly.  “What’s with the robe?”  Armie’s husky whisper ghosting across his ear sends a shiver down his spine.

 

In an effort to remain calm, he gives a half-shrug with one shoulder.  “It feels nice.”

 

Armie’s answering hum does nothing to stop his heartrate from picking up speed.  “You know what else feels nice?”  He doesn’t have a chance to answer before he’s being spun around, Armie’s fingers already undoing the loose knot at his waist.  A second later, large hands slide up his now exposed chest and curve around his shoulders, easily pushing the material the rest of the way off and letting it drop to the floor behind him.  “This.”  Armie’s satisfied grin just before he leans down to kiss his neck makes his stomach clench with happiness.

 

A small giggle escapes his throat when Armie’s fingers dance along his ribcage and he pulls them together again, now blissfully skin to skin.  His own fingers find their way into Armie’s hair as Armie continues to suckle at the pulse point on his neck.  A few seconds later, Armie’s mouth starts to slowly travel down, nipping a little at the base of his throat before licking across his clavicle.

 

When he gets to the round of his shoulder, Armie bites him playfully before pulling back with a grin.  “What do you say we move this to somewhere more comfortable?”  Timmy is temporarily too mesmerized by Armie’s tongue sweeping across his bottom lip to answer right away.

 

When he registers Armie’s amused chuckle at his gawking, he clears his throat as heat creeps up his face.  “Umm, don’t you want some coffee or breakfast first?”  He feels a little lightheaded with everything swirling around in his brain right now, maybe some food might be good.

 

“Mmm, nope, don’t think so.  I’m only hungry for one thing right now.”  The flash of heat in Armie’s eyes makes his mouth go dry.  All thoughts fly out of his head when Armie suddenly grabs him by the hips and begins manhandling him over to the living area of the suite.

 

By the time Armie shoves him down to sprawl out on the large leather couch, he’s already fully hard and starting to leak.  And when Armie wastes no time dropping to his knees in between his open thighs and taking him in his mouth, he knows he isn’t going to last long.

 

A long, drawn out moan is pulled from his throat when Armie licks a slow stripe up the underside of his cock, pausing to swirl the tip of his tongue across the slit.  He has one hand gripping the back of the couch and the other buried deep in Armie’s hair, desperately trying not to lose control and buck his hips up into Armie’s face.

 

It only takes a couple minutes of Armie’s skilled mouth to bring him over the edge, a hushed curse and Armie’s name on his lips as Armie swallows the thick ropes of come spurting down his throat.

 

When he comes back to himself a minute later, he sees Armie jerking himself hard and fast as he presses open-mouthed kisses to Timmy’s inner thigh.  Timmy reaches down and pulls him up on the couch next to him, covering Armie’s hand with his own and stroking him together.  Armie pulls him in for a messy kiss just as his orgasm hits, painting both of them in streaks of white.

 

“Fuck.”  It’s all he can really manage at the moment, and Armie’s answering grunt seems to indicate he’s not much better off.  Armie slouches down so that he can lean his head against Timmy’s shoulder, turning his head slowly to press a kiss to his damp skin before snuggling into him.  Timmy closes his eyes and angles his head to lay atop Armie’s lightly as he allows his breathing to return to normal.

 

They sit quietly together for a few minutes before he hears Armie groan.  “Ugh, we should probably shower before this dries and becomes uncomfortable.”  Timmy opens his eyes in time to look down and see Armie running a finger through the mess on his stomach, his face twisting in slight disgust.

 

He hums his agreement but makes no attempt to move until Armie finally unfolds himself and drags Timmy up with him.  Once they climb under the blessedly hot spray of water, Timmy can feel some of his energy return and he wraps his arms around Armie’s neck, pulling him down for a slow kiss.  He feels Armie’s smile against his own, the buzzing of Armie’s happy hum tickling his lips as they melt into one another in a cloud of steam.

 

He pulls back a minute later, grinning and satisfied.  “So what should we do today?  I know you didn’t expect to be in New York for our anniversary, but we have the whole city at our disposal.  I’m sure we can come up with a good alternative way to celebrate here.” 

 

He reaches for the shampoo, clicking the top open and pouring a generous amount into his palm.  He reaches up on his tiptoes and plants a tiny kiss to Armie’s nose before burying his hands in Armie’s hair as he rubs the shampoo in.  He feels Armie relax into his touch, his eyes slipping shut as he enjoys the gentle press of Timmy’s fingers as he massages his scalp.

 

When Armie’s eyes blink open again as Timmy’s hands slips from his hair, they search for Timmy’s through the haze of the steam rising around them.  “What do you think about just staying here for the day, just the two of us?  I know you love the city, and I do, too, but the only thing I really want to do today is be with you with no distractions.”

 

Moisture springs to his eyes at Armie’s words, and he’s suddenly grateful for the cover of the water from the shower so that his emotional state isn’t totally obvious.  He swallows thickly and nods.  “Yeah, that’s uh…that’s fine, babe.  Sounds perfect.”

 

The sight of Armie’s brilliant smile makes his heart so full it actually aches with love for him.  “Great.  Then let’s finish up here and order some room service for breakfast.  I’m starving.”

 

Armie leans down to brush his lips softly over Timmy’s in a chaste kiss before maneuvering himself under the spray of water to wash out the shampoo.  They make quick work of finishing their shower and then order a huge breakfast from room service.  Armie finds his own fluffy robe and they cuddle up on the couch until it arrives a little while later.

 

Just as Armie is finishing his last bite of toast, Timmy’s stomach flips with the reminder of his decision to tell Armie everything.  He takes a series of deep breaths to bring his nerves under control, trying to regain the calm determination he had earlier this morning. 

 

He waits until Armie finishes wiping his mouth with his cloth napkin before reaching for his hand, linking their hands together on the table between them.  “Hey, so there’s something you should really know.”  He tries to ignore the slight waver in his voice, clearing his throat in an effort to cover it.

 

The soft slide of Armie’s thumb over the back of his knuckles makes his breath hitch, and he looks down to where their hands are joined, their matching rings catching the light from the chandelier hanging above them.  “Yeah?  What’s that, babe?”

 

He forces himself to look away from their hands and slides his eyes back up to meet Armie’s.  But when he sees the soft, adoring smile and the look of overwhelming fondness in his gaze, his heart stops. 

 

He knows he needs to tell Armie the truth, and he’s more sure of that now than ever before.  But he also doesn’t want to cast a pall on this day, souring the limited time they have together in this gorgeous place while they celebrate their love.  Surely waiting one more day wouldn’t make a huge difference in the grander scheme of things.  Tomorrow.  He will tell Armie tomorrow.

 

When he catches Armie’s features shifting to a patient but silently expectant look, he shakes his head slightly.  “I’m just really happy to be here with you.  I know things have been a little crazy lately, but you are the most important thing to me.  Nothing else matters as long as we are together and happy.”

 

The blinding smile that breaks out over Armie’s face sends a million butterflies fluttering through his chest.  “Well, that _is_ good to know.”  Armie’s breathy chuckle makes him flush warm all over.  “Not that I ever really doubted that to be true, but I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it.  And of course you know I feel the same.  It’s you and me against the world, babe.  Always.”

 

Timmy’s lets out a breath of relief, and he’s grateful when Armie leans over and kisses him so that his emotions don’t have time to get the better of him.  He leans into the kiss, licking his way into Armie’s willing mouth and losing himself in the moment for a bit.  A gentle hand comes up to cup his cheek and he sighs as Armie sucks softly on his tongue for a few seconds before pulling back.

 

They’re both wearing giddy smiles, and if he saw any other two people acting this way, he’d roll his eyes at the extreme cheesiness.  But as it is, he doesn’t even care.  He’s happy and in love, and he wants to shout it from the rooftops so there’s never any doubt who his heart belongs to.  At least in this world, he has the luxury of being able to do that if he really wants to.

 

They eventually migrate back to the couch and sprawl out together, Timmy seated between Armie’s spread legs, leaning back into his chest as Armie plays with his hair and Timmy lightly scratches his nails up and down Armie’s thighs.  They talk about everything and nothing – how Armie is surprised by how much he really loves working at the restaurant but still wants to open the cigar shop at some point, which leads to Armie talking about his favorite cigars and Timmy admits he’s never quite taken to them.  That revelation has Armie gaping at him in mock horror and cracking a joke about wanting a divorce, which leads Timmy to smack him and turn around in order to attack Armie’s mouth with his own, refusing to relent until Armie takes it back.  He does, and once they stop giggling, they resume kissing, lazy and slow.  Timmy folds himself on top of Armie and lets himself got lost in the feeling of Armie’s warmth all around him.

 

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he wakes to the feeling of Armie’s fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps along his spine as he traces the ridges there.  He snuggles into Armie’s warm chest for a minute before tilting his head up to look at Armie.  He meets warm pools of blue gazing fondly back at him, a lazy smile on Armie’s lips.  He matches it with one of his own, stretching his arms out to get the feeling back in them a bit.

 

After spending a few minutes trading lazy kisses, they decide to indulge in the extensive spa offerings the hotel has on offer.  They end up getting a couple’s massage, and they spring for the option to have the masseurs come directly to their suite.  With the extra money from Timmy’s recent acting roles, they figure they can afford a little extra luxury for once.

 

He has a hard time relaxing, though, when he discovers that Armie makes these soft little sounds as he’s getting his massage.  Every time he thinks he’s found a nice groove where he can focus his breathing and let the tension out, Armie lets out another sigh, and a few times even _moans_ , and all his attention and blood goes straight to his dick.  At one point, he’s so hard, he’s about ten seconds away from kicking the masseurs out of the room so he can jump off his table and climb onto Armie’s, where he would give him something to _really_ moan about.

 

As it is, he only manages to last all of thirty seconds after Armie closes the suite door behind them, making sure to give a generous tip, before he launches himself at Armie and attaches his mouth to the side of his neck.  “That was really fucking unfair.”  He mumbles his words into Armie’s skin, unwilling to tear his lips away enough to speak clearly.

 

Armie, having been caught off guard at the sudden attack, finally stabilizes and lets out an amused huff.  “What was?”

 

At that, Timmy does pull back, and gives him his best incredulous glare.  “You!  With all your little sex noises distracting the fuck out of me while I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.”  An involuntary whine escapes his throat before he can stop it, and he bites his bottom lip to keep from reattaching it to the base of Armie’s throat.

 

The look of confusion on Armie’s face is not at all what he’s expecting.  “Wait, what?  I did that?”  At Timmy’s raised eyebrow and affirmative nod, he sees a flash of mortification cross Armie’s face, his cheeks flushing bright red.  “I…I had no idea I was doing that, I swear.”

 

The revelation that Armie wasn’t even aware he’d been driving him crazy with his breathy noises makes him want to simultaneously kill him and cuddle him.  A punch of hysterical laughter erupts from his throat, and after a minute, Armie relaxes enough to join in with a few embarrassed chuckles of his own.  “Yeah well, I’ve been hard for the better part of the last 90 minutes because of it, so are you gonna do something about that, or what?” 

 

He’s still giggling maniacally when Armie sweeps him up into his arms and carries him into the kitchen area, plopping him down on the counter and swiftly stepping in between his open thighs to bring their bodies flush together.  “Don’t mind if I do.”  One look at Armie’s sultry smirk has his giggle morphing into a groan. 

 

Both of their robes are instantly discarded, and when Armie wraps his giant hand around both of them and starts to stroke them firmly, Timmy’s eyes roll back in his head and he arches his back at the exquisite feeling.  He feels the scrape of stubble along his right shoulder as Armie starts to suck lightly at the delicate skin above his collar.  A few seconds later, his ass is being scooted forward to the very edge of the counter, causing him to wrap his legs around Armie’s waist in order not to fall off.  Armie captures his lips in a searing kiss and doesn’t break away until they are both panting and close to the edge.

 

Surprisingly, Armie comes first, spurting hot streaks of come over his own hand and Timmy’s stomach.  Timmy is so close to the edge, his entire body is buzzing with the need for release.  He slams his eyes shut as his muscles tense. 

 

Suddenly Armie’s breath is hot on the side of his face, his lips brushing over his ear.  “It’s ok, Timmy, you can let go.  Come for me, baby.”  The feeling of Armie’s teeth sinking into his earlobe is all it takes to send him hurtling off the cliff into oblivion, his whole body shaking as he comes hard over Armie’s hand as Armie strokes him through it.

 

He falls forward into Armie’s shoulder, panting and sweaty but feeling sated and loved.  He feels Armie’s hand on his back rubbing soothing circles into his damp skin.  They stay like that for a couple minutes before Armie reluctantly moves back, searching for something to clean them up with.  He finds a small towel by the sink and makes quick work of wiping up their combined mess on Timmy’s stomach and his hand.

 

Armie reaches out a hand and Timmy takes it, hopping down from the counter and moving to lean into Armie’s side, his legs still a little wobbly after the exertion of his second orgasm of the day.  He wonders how many more times they can make each other come before their bodies call it quits.  He figures he has another couple in him, at least.  But maybe not for another little while.

 

Armie decides to break into the minibar for some refreshments, and Timmy remembers the gift basket by the main door to the suite that had chocolate and pistachios.  They find a movie on tv to watch for a while, though Timmy doesn’t really pay much attention to what’s happening.  He’s too busy listening to the soothing sound of Armie’s heartbeat underneath his ear – strong and steady –  as they cuddle together.  It fills him with a sense of security, a sort of promise that everything is going to be ok.

 

When the movie ends, Armie suggests they FaceTime Timmy’s mom and thank her for setting all this up at the last minute.  Timmy agrees, and they spend the next hour on the phone with her.  Timmy is overwhelmed with emotion as he watches Armie and his mom interact.  He’d only seen them together for a few minutes last night before they were shooed out of the apartment, but to see them now, behaving very much like son and mother-in-law, he’s overjoyed to know that the upheaval that the scandal of their coming out caused didn’t affect the relationship with his family.  He doesn’t even want to think about a world where he might have to choose between them and Armie.

 

For dinner, they go all out and order a 3 course meal – Timmy deciding on a squash soup and salmon with apple strudel for dessert, Armie going with foie gras terrine and duck leg confit, finishing off with 2 scoops of strawberry sorbet.  They pop open the champagne, and once both of their crystal glasses are full, Armie raises his in a toast. 

 

“Happy anniversary, babe.  It seems crazy that we’ve only been married one year, because I feel like I’ve been loving you all my life.  I just had to wait for one magical summer for you to appear and show me where my heart has always belonged.  And I can’t wait to spend all the rest of my years loving you still.”  Timmy can see the moisture gathering in the corners of Armie’s eyes that perfectly matches the state of his own, and as their chalices clink together between them, his chest is so full of love, he almost can’t breathe.

 

He’s far too emotional to say anything himself, so he settles for reaching over and squeezing Armie’s hand in his own.  That seems to be enough for Armie, and he brings their joined hands up to his mouth to kiss the back of Timmy’s knuckles before releasing him again to begin digging into his food.

 

Timmy just watches him silently for another minute, still trying to understand how he ever got so lucky to end up here, in this world, with an Armie who loves him so fully and openly.  He doesn’t even care why anymore, just that he is thanking all the stars in the universe for giving him such a precious gift.

 

When Armie looks over and notices him staring, he raises an eyebrow in question.  “Aren’t you gonna eat?”

 

Timmy clears his throat and shakes himself out of his reverie.  All that matters right now is being present in this moment with Armie.  “Right, yeah.”  His lips twitch up in a shy smile as he picks up his fork.

 

They eat mostly in comfortable silence through the first couple courses, the only sounds are Armie’s satisfied hums as he devours his meal.  They both end up sharing each other’s main course, and Timmy is surprised by how much he enjoys the duck.

 

Just before they start in on dessert, Armie reaches over and twines their fingers together in a lose hold.  “You know, I think this might be even better than our honeymoon.”

 

Timmy freezes for a minute, not sure what to say since he doesn’t actually have any recollection of that time.  “Oh yeah, how so?”  He prays that Armie will provide enough context for him to not accidentally say anything to fuck up the last few hours of their perfect day.  Tomorrow he will deal with the consequences of the last two months of pretending, but he just wants this one last night with no tension.

 

“Well, for one thing, we didn’t have to plan or pay for it.”  Armie’s grin is so wide, Timmy can see his canines peeking out over his bottom lip.  He’s always had a weak spot for those.  “But more because I feel like I fall even more in love with you every day.  I didn’t think it was possible back then, but somehow it is.”  The light catches Armie’s eyes and makes them shimmer, and Timmy suddenly forgets how to breathe.

 

“Are you even real?”  The words are out of his mouth before he even finishes thinking them, and he only registers that he said them out loud when Armie coughs out a surprised laugh.

 

“I assure you, I’m very real.  Come here, I’ll prove it to you.”  Suddenly the hand twisted in his tightens and tugs.  He follows willingly, allowing Armie to pull him sideways onto his lap.  He barely has a second to get situated comfortably before Armie’s lips are on his in a soft kiss, the plush, silky skin a perfect contrast to the slightly rough scrape of his day-old stubble.

 

Armie pulls back after a minute, lips twisted in a teasing smirk.  “That real enough for ya?”  A giggle bubbles up from his throat at Armie’s ridiculous eyebrow wiggle, and he turns to bury his face in Armie’s neck.

 

The deep rumble of Armie’s chuckle reverberates through him and makes his whole body flush with warmth.  He watches in fascination as Armie reaches over to the bowl of sherbet and dips one finger in, gathering some of the sugary treat onto the tip before bringing it back over toward them.  He lifts his head to be even with Armie’s, breath already picking up speed in hopeful anticipation of what was to come.  When Armie’s sorbet-covered finger hovers over his bottom lip for a second before finally making contact, he stops breathing altogether, eyes flicking up to lock with Armie’s as Armie slowly traces over his lips with the cold, sticky substance.

 

When Armie pulls his finger back and inspects his handiwork, Timmy can’t stop his tongue from slipping out just enough to get a hint of a taste.  He maintains eye contact with Armie, who moans low in his throat and lets out a hissed curse before leaning in to lick the rest of the sweet residue off himself.

 

Once his lips are clean, Timmy opens his mouth, eager to have Armie’s tongue swirling around his own so he can taste for himself.  The taste of strawberries floods his senses as Armie invades his mouth with fervor, his clean hand coming up to cup the back of his head to bring them closer together. 

 

When Timmy finally pulls back a few minutes later, breathless and already half-hard, his eyes search out Armie’s, finding them to be just as blown with lust as his own must be.  “Think we should move this into the bedroom?”

 

Armie’s emphatic nod sends him scrambling off Armie’s lap, grabbing hold of Armie’s arms and practically dragging him back down the long hallway to their lavish bedroom, the rest of the quickly melting sherbet long forgotten.

 

It takes less than a minute from the time they kick the door closed for them to be fully naked and sprawled on the bed, Timmy’s knees on either side of Armie as he straddles him.  He leans forward so his long curls are dangling over Armie’s face, one of them just barely brushing over his temple.  Armie grins up at him and grinds his hips up into Timmy’s, causing Timmy to moan and match it with a roll of his own hips.

 

“Do we have any lube?  I didn’t think to grab any from the apartment before we left…”  He’s already buzzing with anticipation of Armie being inside him, but he knows trying to take Armie without the proper preparation would mean a level of pain that he’s definitely _not_ into.

 

When Armie nods and tells him to look in the back pocket of his pants, Timmy has never been so grateful for Armie’s tendency to be prepared for anything.  He scrambles off the bed and goes in search of the discarded article of clothing, finding it half-shoved under the bottom edge of the bed.  When he returns victorious with his prize, he climbs back onto the bed, more than ready to feel Armie’s skilled fingers opening him up.

 

So he’s quite confused when Armie takes one look at the tube of lube in his hand and rolls over on his stomach, folding his knees under him a little so his ass sticks up into the air, a clear invitation.  He can’t do anything but silently gawk at the sight in front of him for several beats, unsure of what to do with this turn of events.

 

After a long stretch of not moving, he sees Armie twist his head to look back at him, confusion etched all over his face.  “What’s the matter?”  When he still doesn’t say anything, Armie just huffs in bemusement.  “I know it’s been a while for you, babe, but don’t tell me you forgot how to do it.”  Armie flops back over and scoots up to sit beside him.  The lube is slowly pried out of his death grip and Armie looks up at him in concern.  “Hey, if you’re not up for it, I can –”

 

“No!”  He doesn’t mean for it to come out so forcefully, but when Armie startles at his outburst, he inwardly cringes at his inability to be calm about this.  He clears his throat and tries again.  “No, it’s ok, I want to.  _Really_.  You’re right, it’s just been a while.  I didn’t think…it doesn’t matter.  _Fuck_ , yes I want to do this.”

 

Armie’s face relaxes into an amused smirk and Timmy watches his eyes drop to his now steadily leaking cock.  “I can see that.”  Armie’s warm hand wraps around him and gives a couple of firm strokes, his thumb dragging across the slit on the upstroke, gathering a thick bead of precome on the edge.  Timmy watches in rapt attention as Armie brings the thumb up to his lips, slipping it inside with a wicked grin.

 

Timmy swallows thickly and snatches the lube back from Armie, who just huffs a laugh and moves back into his previous position on his stomach, ass in the air.  When Armie wiggles it around in a teasing motion and throws a wink over his shoulder, Timmy is tempted to give it a firm smack, but they haven’t gotten into the subject of spanking yet since he’s been here, so he’s not sure he should risk it.

 

Instead, he does his best to ignore Armie’s ribbing and scoots up behind him on his knees, rubbing his hands along the tender flesh and kneading the cheeks apart slowly.  He can’t stop himself from leaning down to press a series of light kisses to each cheek before slowly sliding his mouth to the center of his crease. 

 

As he gently pries the fleshy globes open, his mouth starts to water at the thought of finally tasting Armie in this way.  Armie had done it to him a handful of times already, but he was beginning to think he’d never get the chance to reciprocate.  As he pushes his face in, he sweeps his tongue up to lick a slow stripe from just below Armie’s balls right up to his entrance.  He takes Armie’s truly obscene moan and bitten off “Fu-uuck yes” as incentive to keep going.

 

He spends a couple minutes just licking softly around the outside, allowing himself the pleasure of getting to experience Armie’s taste fully as it spread over every inch of his tongue.  When he finally pushes inside – Armie letting out another loud curse as his tongue works past the first ring of muscle – he has to grip the base of his dick with his free hand in order to stop himself from shooting off right then.  He knows he won’t be able to keep this up much longer if he wants to actually make it to the main event, but he manages to get a few thrusts of his tongue in before he pulls back, panting and so hard it’s almost painful.

 

Quickly grabbing the lube, he clicks the top open and coats his fingers liberally.  He reaches down underneath Armie’s angled hips to give his cock a few strokes, dragging a low, drawn out groan from Armie’s throat.  Placing a soft kiss above the hollow of his back, Timmy brings his hand back and slides one finger between his cheeks and rubs light circles over his hole.

 

Apparently Armie is getting impatient, though, because he shoves his hips back onto Timmy’s hand, causing the tip of his finger to slip inside.  He tries not to gasp as he feels Armie’s tight heat stretching around his slender digit, using all the brain power he has left to concentrate on the task at hand.

 

He takes his time to make sure he’s fully prepared, much to Armie’s annoyance, but he isn’t about to risk hurting Armie on the first time he gets to experience being inside him.  He’s got three fingers sliding pretty easily in and out of him when Armie grunts and turns his head to look back at him.  “Seriously, babe, I’m good.  Need to feel you.  It’s been way too long.”

 

The slight waver in Armie’s voice has him wondering just how long it’s been since the last time Armie has bottomed.  He hadn’t even realized it was a thing they did until a few minutes ago, and now he’s worried that maybe Armie had been wanting to for a while and never said anything, assuming that the Timmy who knew him better than anyone would just _know_.

 

Carefully, he removes his fingers and crawls up Armie’s body so he can be face-to-face with him.  “It’s ok, Armie.  I got you.  I’m gonna give you what you need.”  He brings their mouths together for a kiss, a bit messy and awkward due to the angle, but when he pulls back, it seems to have done the trick to reassure Armie.  He presses one more tiny kiss to Armie’s sweaty temple before moving back into position behind him.

 

He pours more lube over his hand, making sure to slick himself up as much as possible.  When he lines himself up, he can see Armie bracing himself for the initial push in.  “It’s ok, babe.  Just breathe.  I’m here.  I love you so much.”  When he sees Armie release a long breath, he starts to push in, slow and steady.

 

The sensation of sliding into Armie’s tight heat for the first time is like nothing he has ever felt before.  He’d topped one other time in his life, but it felt _nothing_ like this.  He holds his own breath the whole way in, waiting until his hips are flush against Armie’s ass to finally let it out again.

 

He doesn’t move for several beats, just allows the feeling of Armie completely engulfing him to resonate through his entire body, letting the fire of it spread to every cell of his being.  When Armie makes a small whimpering sound, he pulls himself together and begins to move, slow at first, then building up to steady rhythm.  Armie moans and starts babbling incoherently at some point, and Timmy folds himself over his back and presses open-mouthed kisses along his spine, breathing words of praise into his skin as he tries to give him what he needs.

 

When he feels Armie getting close, the muscles in his legs and back tensing up and his breathing getting ragged, he reaches around and strokes him in time with his thrusts.  He uses his other hand to thread his fingers through Armie’s on the mattress, grounding him as he hurls toward his own ecstasy. 

 

A minute later, Armie lets out a strangled cry and comes with a full-body shudder.  The feeling of Armie spasming around him is almost too much for him, and he speeds up his thrusts as he tips over the edge a minute later, pulsing his release deep into Armie’s body.  He grips Armie’s hand tightly as he rides it out, clinging to their connection for dear life as the edges of his vision go white and he collapses onto Armie’s back.

 

When he comes to again, Armie is on his back, rubbing soothing circles into his forearms where he’s draped across his middle.  He startles a bit, unsure of what happened after his orgasm or how they got into this position.

 

“Hey hey, it’s ok babe.  You just kinda blacked out for a minute, but you’re fine.”  Armie’s calm tone does wonders to reassure him, and he settles back into the comforting warmth of his chest.

 

“Fuck man, I don’t think I’ve ever blacked out from sex before.”  He almost feels a little embarrassed, but Armie doesn’t seem bothered by it, so maybe it _isn’t_ the first time this has happened. 

 

A low chuckle rumbles under his cheek where he’s plastered to Armie’s skin.  “No, that was definitely a first.  But it’s kinda hot.”  There’s a press of lips to his hair, and he smiles at how safe and cared for he always feels with Armie. 

 

His mind drifts to what he knows he has to do tomorrow, and suddenly it doesn’t feel quite as scary.  He knows it’s going to be hard, and things might not be perfect right away, but the love they share is unlike anything he’s ever felt in his life.  If he can trust in anything, it’s that.

 

He shifts onto his side so he can see Armie’s face.  “Where do you think we’ll be a year from now?”

 

Armie shifts his gaze down from the ceiling to look into his eyes, considering the question for several seconds before answering.  “I think wherever it is, as long as I’m with you, I’ll be the luckiest man on earth.”

 

Timmy’s heart swells with happiness, and it’s almost more than he can handle in his current emotionally wrung out state.  In an effort to keep from crying, he instead rolls his eyes in an overly dramatic fashion.  “You are so cheesy, Hammer.”  He pushes at Armie’s shoulder, ducking his head to try and hide the giddy smile he can’t quite keep off his face.

 

Armie barks out a laugh, wrapping his arm around Timmy and pulling him back against him.  “Maybe, but you know you love it.  Just admit it, Chalamet.”

 

Timmy snuggles against his neck for a minute before stretching up to meet his face.  This time he doesn’t bother trying to hide his grin.  “You got me.”  Armie closes the distance between them in a gentle kiss, Armie’s tongue caressing his softly as they bask in the afterglow of their release.

 

When they finally part, a little breathless and lightheaded, Armie reaches down to bring the blankets up over them, adjusting their positions slightly so Timmy is tucked into Armie’s side, Armie’s chin resting protectively on top of his head.  He places his hand over Armie’s heart, feeling the strong beat pulsing beneath his palm.  He falls asleep wrapped in the safety of Armie’s arms, knowing that it’s the only place he ever wants to be.

 

***

 

Timmy’s dragged back into consciousness by the incessant sound of someone knocking at the door.  He blinks his eyes open only to immediately regret that decision, slamming them shut again as his heads pounds and he feels a vague sense of nausea.  He’s not sure why he feels so awful.  He tries to think back to last night.  Sure, he and Armie had drunk a bit of champagne, but nowhere near enough to make him feel like this.  And he’s pretty sure the mind-blowing sex wouldn’t have him feeling like death warmed over, so he’s at a loss.

 

The knocking returns, and he groans, rolling over to seek out Armie’s warmth.  But when he comes up with nothing but cool, empty sheets next to him, he risks blinking one eye open again.  Sure enough, he’s alone in the bed.  He scooches up into a semi-sitting position, trying to figure out where Armie might be.

 

When the knocking returns _again_ , this time louder and more insistent, he groans loudly and yells out.  “Go the fuck away!”

 

“Timmy??  Come on, man, let me in.”

 

He freezes when he recognizes Armie’s voice through the door.  Did Armie lock himself out of the room?  He’s not sure what’s going on or why Armie isn’t in here with him, but he decides he can figure that out later.  Right now he just wants the pounding to stop and for Armie to come back to bed.

 

He throws off the sheets, and there’s a sound of something clattering to the floor.  He ignores it in favor of trying to shuffle to the door, almost tripping on a small glass bottle that is thankfully empty and rolls away under and bed before he can crush it with his full weight.

 

He reaches the door and pulls it open, finding a fully dressed and slightly worried looking Armie standing on the other side.  “Oh, thank god.  We were starting to really get worried about you.”

 

Timmy blinks up at him, his head spinning and still not sure what’s going on.  “Did you forget your key or something?”  Before Armie can answer, he waves his own question away.  “Never mind, just get in here.  I feel like shit.  Can we go back to bed now?” 

 

He snuggles into Armie’s chest, but when he feels Armie stiffen in his arms, he slowly pulls back at peers up into his face in confusion.  “What?”  When Armie just looks at him like he’s grown a second head, he freezes completely.  He tries to replay the last two minutes in his head, searching for a clue as to what is going on.  Then something clicks.  “Wait, we?  Who’s we?”

 

Armie clears his throat and steps further into the room, keeping a bit of distance between them.  “Uh yeah, me and Elizabeth.  When you ran off so suddenly last night at the reception, I tried calling, but it kept going straight to voicemail.  And you missed our breakfast this morning, so we weren’t sure what was going on.  Is everything ok?”  He sees Armie scan the room, the look on his face growing more concerned each second.  “Jesus, Tim.  How much did you drink last night?  Was someone else here?”

 

Now it’s Timmy’s turn to look at Armie like he’s the one with a second head.  “What the fuck are you talking about?”  But when Armie just gestures to the bed, he swivels his head around to look and stops dead.

 

There are several empty liquor bottles covering the bed and the floor, as well as a pile of tissues scattered on top of the bedspread.  It’s then that he realizes what is wrong with this entire picture : this _isn’t_ the Baccarat Hotel in New York City, where he most definitely fell asleep last night.  Ice runs through his veins when he realizes where he is.

 

“Timmy?  What’s going on?”  Armie’s worried question does nothing to stop the hammering in his chest at the dawning realization of what’s happening here.

 

“Wait, last night…the reception…”  He starts to hyperventilate as a million thoughts run through his head.

 

Armie considers him very carefully, obviously trying to figure out the best way to help him calm down.  “Yeah…the awards ceremony, remember?  You presented it to me?  And then we were talking at the reception, but then you ran off.”  Armie pauses, still approaching him with caution.  “Did something happen after you left?  Are you ok?  You’re kinda scaring me, man.”

 

Timmy lets out a hysterical laugh at that.  Yeah, no shit.  He’s scared shitless himself and doesn’t know what’s going on.  It’s then he remembers.  He looks down at his left hand…his distinctly empty left hand.  Now he really starts to panic.  He scrambles the few feet over to Armie, reaching for his left hand before Armie can move away.  When he sees the band on his ring finger – the one he’s seen him wear for the last 2 years – and the hint of the tattoo underneath it, his eyes instantly fill with tears.

 

“No.  Nononononono.  This can’t be happening.  _Fuck_!”  He drops Armie’s hand and stumbles backwards a few steps.  He can’t breathe.  Can’t stop feeling like his heart has just been ripped out of his chest. 

 

“Timmy, what the fuck is the matter with you?!”

 

But he doesn’t even hear Armie’s question.  His vision blurs and his legs give out, and the last thing he can make out is the fuzzy image of Armie racing toward him before his world goes completely black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DON'T HATE MEEEE!!! This has been the plan from the very beginning, and the next chapter will obviously explain things a little more. And I'm sorry about the cliffhanger, but it was too good not to do it! But please, please trust me! I have a plan and it WILL be worth it, I promise! <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! :D
> 
> So this chapter is pretty long, mostly angsty, and very transitional, but I felt it was necessary to show Timmy's journey during this time period and everything he is dealing with post-AU while also trying to film his biggest movie to date. So a lot of it is exposition/time jumping, but I promise next chapter will go into much more detail and have a more satisfying payoff. Just gotta hang on and go with me on this one. ;)
> 
> As always, thank you for all the continued love and support you all give this story. We are very close to the end now, just two more chapters after this one. I hope you guys enjoy the last little stretch and that the ending will be worth all the pain I've put these boys through for 20-someodd chapters now. ;) Love you all! <333

“— _don’t know, ok?  He just passed out_!”

 

“— _definitely hung over, looked like shit_.”

 

“ _I’m not calling 911, he’s gonna be fine.  Caught him before he could hit his head_.”

 

“ _Stop being overdramatic.  Just need to talk to him, find out what’s going on_.”

 

“ _No, I don’t think so.  He was pretty out of it, though, not making much sense_.”

 

“ _Shit, he’s waking up, I gotta go_!”

 

Timmy groans, head pounding even worse than before and his limbs feeling like they weigh a hundred pounds each.  Just as he manages to pull himself up into a seated position on the bed, he feels a warm hand land on his shoulder and another cup the side of his neck. 

 

He starts to lean into the comfort of the touch for half a second until he remembers what happened right before he passed out.  Taking a deep breath, he finally blinks open his eyes only to confirm his worst fear:  _This_ Armie isn’t his husband.  This Armie is still married to Elizabeth, still sees him as just a friend and co-star.

 

He shrinks away from Armie’s touch, quickly scrambling back on the bed and drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.  The hurt and confusion that flashes in Armie’s eyes as he snatches his hands back like he’d been burned ignites a fire in his chest and he suddenly can’t breathe.

 

“Timmy?  It’s ok, man, it’s just me.”  Armie pushes a crumpled up tissue out of the way and sits gingerly on the edge of the bed, clearly trying not to spook him.  “You passed out, do you remember that?”  At Timmy’s shaky nod, he continues.  “Ok good.  Can you tell me why?  What’s going on, dude?  You’re really starting to scare me.”

 

Timmy’s started rocking back and forth in an effort to keep himself from going into a full-blown panic attack.  He takes stock of the situation while he tries to figure out how to answer Armie’s question.  He’s clearly back in Austin, recognizing the hotel he woke up in two months ago when all this craziness started.  But that’s the part he doesn’t understand – Armie talked about last night being the awards ceremony, so had he somehow been transported back in time two months?  Had the whole thing been some sort of crazy dream?  Was any of it even real?

 

Armie must see the emotions playing out all over his face because his own features get even more tight with worry.  “Come on, Timmy.  It’s me.  You know you can tell me anything.  Whatever it is, just let me help you.”

 

The obvious helplessness in Armie’s voice was doing nothing to calm his already sky-high anxiety.  And normally, Armie would be right.  He’s the one person in the world who he feels completely at ease coming to with anything, knowing he’ll have the exact answer he needs.  But for this?  There’s no way he can even begin to explain the situation to him and not have Armie think he’s completely insane.

 

When he doesn’t answer, Armie hesitantly moves his hand to rest on Timmy’s ankle, his thumb moving in calming strokes over his bare skin.  Every instinct in his body is screaming to just fall into Armie’s arms, kiss him until he’s breathless and moaning his name and they can both forget about this nightmare.  But he knows he can’t do that, not anymore, not with the Armie in this world, the one who is not his husband, and never was.  The pain of knowing that is more than he can deal with right now.  He can’t handle Armie being here, touching him in such an intimate and familiar way and not being able to have him in the way he’s come to depend on the last two months.

 

He clears his throat and slowly unfolds himself to lay his legs straight out in front of him, knocking Armie’s hand away in the process.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.  I’m just…”  He pauses, unsure of how what else he can say to reassure Armie enough to get him to leave.  “I just drank a little too much last night and had a really crazy dream.  And I was just a little disoriented when I woke up, that’s all.  I’m fine.  Really.”

 

Frustrated disbelief is written all over Armie’s face as he listens to Timmy’s bullshit explanation.  And he can’t exactly blame him.  He knows he’s a shit liar in the best of circumstances, and right now he’s not exactly on his A-game.  He wouldn’t believe himself, either.

 

To his credit, Armie doesn’t immediately call him out on his shit.  He just continues to watch him carefully, trying to see if Timmy was going to offer up anything else or not.  But Timmy just bites at his lip and looks down at the sheet, trying to avoid eye-contact to keep himself from breaking down and spilling everything.  He doesn’t think he could handle Armie looking at him with disgust, or even worse, pity.

 

When it’s clear he’s not going to give any other explanation, Armie tries once again.  “Look, Timmy –“

 

But Timmy cuts him off before he can plead any further.  “I could really use a coffee.  Do you think you could get me one?  I’m still a little lightheaded.”  He uses his own pleading look, hoping Armie will see the desperation in his eyes and understand how much he needed him to drop it.

 

It’s another few seconds where Armie looks like he still wants to push the issue before he finally sighs and visibly relents.  “Ok yeah, man.  Sure.  I’ll go get you some coffee.  But…”  He pauses, waiting until Timmy meets his eyes again.  “I kinda had something I wanted to talk to you about.  So when I get back, can we, ya know…actually _talk_?”

 

The hesitation in Armie’s tone makes his stomach do a slight flip.  He’s not sure what Armie would want to talk to him about that would prompt him to act like this, but he’s sure he isn’t ready to find out.  “Yeah, yeah, of course.”  He gives Armie a tight-lipped smile, hoping against hope it would be enough to placate him so he would leave.

 

Armie searches his face for another few seconds before finally moving off the bed and toward the door.  “Ok, hang tight.  I’ll be back in a few with your coffee.”  He stops just before he’s through the door and looks back again, a look of genuine concern on his face.  “You sure you’re ok?”

 

Timmy fights against all the cells in his body that are screaming that he’s definitely _not_ ok and manages to nod and give the most convincing smile he’s able to muster right now.  It must at least sort of work, because he sees Armie give an answering nod before slipping out the door.

 

He lets out the breath he’d been holding and tries to make sense of the thousands of thoughts that are currently fighting for dominance in his brain.  The one that seems to be the most prominent is _get the fuck out of there_.  He scrambles off the bed and frantically looks around the room, mentally figuring out what he absolutely needed to grab.  He finds his passport and wallet on the small desk in the corner of the room, his backpack with other important documents and scripts sitting underneath.  He grabs it and swings one strap over his right arm, shoves his feet into his shoes, doesn’t even care that he looks like a disheveled mess and is still super hungover.  The only thing he knows is he needs to be far away from here as soon as possible. 

 

Once he’s sure he has all the essentials he might need, he flees the room without looking back.  He knows he can call the hotel later and have the rest of his stuff shipped to him if he needs it.  Right now he just wants to get out of there without the weight of a big suitcase slowing him down.  He decides to take to the stairs to avoid a possible run-in with Armie in the elevator.

 

Once he gets to the lobby, he looks around to make sure the coast is clear.  His heart stutters when he looks across the large lobby through the open archway to the main dining area and sees Armie being handed a cup of coffee and a small pastry on a plate, a soft, grateful smile on his face as he pays for the items.  He hates himself for being such a coward, but after everything he’s been through, he’s not sure he can just go back to being Armie’s friend now.

 

He takes a deep breath and slips out the main entrance of the hotel, careful to not draw any unnecessary attention to himself until he was outside and away from Armie’s view.  In a crazy stroke of luck, a taxi is just pulling up to the hotel when he makes it out to the curb.  He barely waits for the person inside to exit and grab their bag from the trunk before he’s piling in, impatient to get out of there as quickly as possible.  He tells the driver to take him to the airport, and a minute later, he’s trying to keep himself from breaking down as the car pulls away from the hotel, taking him far away from the love of his life and the hope of ever being with him again.

 

He’s in the middle of counting to ten to stave off a panic attack when his phone starts going off in his pocket.  He knows instantly by the custom ring that it’s Armie.  He probably should have expected it, knowing Armie wasn’t going to just be ok with him running out like that after promising they could talk.  But he can’t exactly explain himself right now, either, so he declines the call with a shaky breath, trying to figure out what the hell to do now.

 

The phone goes off again twenty seconds later, and he sighs, knowing Armie isn’t going to just give up that easily.  He declines the call again, guilt stinging like a knife being twisted into his heart.  The third time his phone rings a minute later, he powers it off completely, unable to handle seeing Armie’s contact picture pop up on his screen one more time.

 

When he gets to the airport, he stops to assess the situation.  His flight back to New York isn’t until several hours later in mid-afternoon.  And the more he thinks about it, he isn’t sure he wants to go back there right now.  The memory of him and Armie – well, the Armie of the other world – being together and so in love and snuggling together on his mother’s couch is too fresh.  He’s not sure he can just go back to his old life and pretend none of this happened.

 

He finds his way to the airport bar, trying to figure out the best course of action now that it’s clear that whatever trick of fate had allowed him the chance to be with Armie for the past 2 months has come to an end and he is right back where he started – alone and brokenhearted.

 

He orders a beer and tries not to think about the fact that it’s barely 11 am.  At least the bartender has the decency not to give him any disapproving looks, simply slides the beer in front of him with a cordial, “There you are, sir,” before moving back to the other side of the bar.

 

He immediately takes two sips, letting the cool liquid swirl in the back of his throat for a few seconds before swallowing.  After a couple deep breaths and another quick swig of drink, he fishes his phone out of his pocket.  He stares at the black screen for several beats before finally pushing the power button on, bracing himself for what would be waiting on his screen once it powered on.

 

Just as he expected, a flood of notifications pop up on his screen, all from Armie.  There are two more missed phone calls and about a dozen texts messages.  He must have switched to texts once he realized Timmy had turned his phone off.  The last text message is time stamped from twenty minutes ago, and he wonders if there will be any more coming through or if this is it.

 

As he reads through them, his heart clenches painfully in his chest.  The first couple are a mix of confusion and irritation at him taking off and not picking up his phone, then the next several veer into full on anger.  When he gets to the last few, the obvious amount of pain and hurt spelled out in them is too much for him to take.  As he reads the last one, a simple plea of _< Please talk to me>_, his heart completely shatters and the first real tear spills over his bottom eyelid, making a slow, wet trail all the way down to his chin.

 

Once the first one is out, it’s like opening the floodgates of his emotions.  For the first time since waking up this morning, he lets the full weight of the situation sink in, finally succumbing to the overwhelming heartache and anguish of having the memories of what it felt like to have Armie be so completely his, only to have it be ripped away so suddenly just as he was ready to tell Armie everything and build a real life with him.

 

He lets his phone clatter onto the bar in front of him, covering his face in both hands as the silent tears morph into full on sobs.  He has the unwelcome thought that, back in this life, he is at least moderately recognizable, and having a total emotional breakdown in the full view of a public airport was probably not the best idea, but he can’t seem to stop himself once he’s started.  He lets the emotions crash over him, drowning in the sea of “what could have been”.

 

He’s not sure how long it is when his sobs finally subside and he peeks through his fingers to look up.  He finds a neatly folded napkin in front of him and a small shot glass of whiskey next to it.  His head snaps up to find the bartender gazing at him with a sympathetic smile, raising the glass he is currently cleaning in a small “cheers” motion and a nod to the shot in front of him.  He drops his eyes down to the drink briefly before sliding back up to meet the bartender’s friendly gaze again, managing to twitch the corner of his mouth up in a half-smile.  He can feel the drying tear tracks on his face with the movement, and he reaches for the napkin, hastily swiping at his face with it in an effort to not look quite as much of a mess as he feels.

 

When he looks back over to the other end of the bar, the bartender is busy taking someone else’s order.  Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a stack of bills and leaves them on the bar, tucked neatly under his half-empty beer bottle.  He quickly slams down the shot and grabs his stuff, finding the nearest restroom so he can wash his face and calm down somewhere with a little bit more privacy.

 

He enters a stall, locking it securely behind him.  He opens his backpack, hoping he had the good sense to put a hat in there at some point so he can try to blend in a bit more.  As he’s rummaging around, he comes across his copy of the script for The King, and suddenly an idea strikes him.

 

Finishing up in the bathroom quickly, and donning the hat that was indeed buried in the bottom of his bag, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to Brian’s number.  He sends a quiet prayer up as he hits the “call” button, hoping he will at least still find things normal with him.

 

“Hey, Timmy!  How’s it going?  I saw your speech online; Armie definitely picked the right guy for the job.  You did great, kid.”

 

 _Fuck, the speech_.  He’d all but forgotten about his rambling love fest to Armie in a room full of his peers, _and_ Armie’s family.  And now having the memory of it happening in a different context in another life makes his chest ache with want.  He slams his eyes shut against another round of tears and takes a shaky breath in.

 

“Yeah, thanks, man.  I’m glad I was able to be there for him.”  There’s so much more he wishes he could say, but for now, he thinks it’s better to get to the point of the call and figure everything else out later.  “Listen, I know I’m not supposed to be in London for another month, but is there any way we can arrange to get me out there like… _now_?”

 

The sound of Brian’s confused hum has him chewing on his bottom lip nervously.  “Well, I’m not sure if we can get production to cover the cost of accommodations this far in advance, but if you want to go out there early to be extra prepared, I’m sure we can find a way to make it work.”

 

He lets out a long breath, relief flooding his system.  “Yeah, that would be great.  I will cover the hotel if I need to, whatever it takes, it’s fine.  I just need to get there as soon as possible.”

 

There’s a long pause before another quiet hum on the other end of the line.  “Is everything ok, Timmy?  Did something happen that I need to know about?”

 

There’s a distinct note in Brian’s tone that almost makes him think he knows something about his feelings for Armie, or at least suspects, but he really can’t have _that_ conversation right now, so he does his best to brush it off.  “Everything’s fine.  I just really want to get this role right, and I think if I go back to New York now, I’ll lose focus, and I’d rather just dive right into it, be in the right environment to really become one with the role.”  It’s not a complete lie, but Brian has always been able to see right through him, so he braces for the slew of questions he knows is probably coming next.

 

To his great surprise and relief, they never come.  There’s another long pause, and then the next thing Brian says is, “Ok, let me see what I can do.”

 

His sigh of relief and gratitude is probably audible on the other end, but he doesn’t really even care.  “Thank you, man.  Really.  That’s awesome.  I’m at the airport now, but my flight isn’t scheduled for another several hours.  So if I can get it switched for London instead, that would be great.”

 

“Ok, hang tight, kid.  I’ll work on getting something arranged.”  There’s another pause before Brian’s voice comes back, this time softer and full of concern.  “Look, Timmy, I don’t know what’s going on and it’s clear you don’t want to talk about it, but whatever it is, you know I’m always here for you if you need me.  I’m more than just your agent, you know.  I’m also your friend.  We’ve come a long way since you were 16, and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

 

Timmy bites back the urge to start crying again, or to spill everything right there in the middle of the airport.  He can tell Brian is worried about him, and he feels like shit for laying this all on him without a proper explanation.  But he isn’t ready to talk about what happened yet, isn’t even sure he understands it enough to be able to explain it to someone else.  “Thank you, Brian.  I really appreciate everything you do for me, really.”

 

“It’s my pleasure, kid.  I’ll send you your new flight info once I get everything arranged.  Go do your thing, we’ll talk again soon.”

 

“Thank you.  And Brian…”  He pauses, scrubbing a hand over his face.  “Can you maybe not tell anyone where I am?  I mean, not that anyone will probably ask but just in case, I’d kinda like to just disappear for a bit and not have any distractions.”

 

He wonders if that is pushing things too far, if maybe Brian will insist to know what is going on, but he’s thankfully let off the hook.  “Sure thing, Timmy.  I’ll keep that bit of information to myself.”

 

He thanks Brian once again before hanging up, moving over to find a place to sit and wait for further information.  Fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes with a text message from Brian with his new flight information and confirmation for the hotel booked under an alias so it won’t be easy for anyone to find out where he is.  He’s once more overwhelmed with gratitude for Brian and his willingness to go above and beyond for him.

 

As he makes his way over to the international terminal, he switches his phone into flight mode in order to not be tempted to call or text Armie back.  He needs some time and space to figure out how to fit back into this life where he can’t hold Armie in his arms, can’t kiss him goodnight, can’t feel his body pressing into his and making him feel whole like nothing else ever has. 

 

He doesn’t know if any of it was real or not, but the memories burned into his brain are _very_ real, and he can’t just look at Armie and pretend he doesn’t know the sounds he makes when he comes undone at his hand.  He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget _that_.

 

After another couple of hours spent waiting and listening to any playlist he could find that didn’t remind him of Armie, he finally boards his flight that will eventually take him to London.  He tries not to think about the fact that this is the second time in just a few days that he’s gotten on a plane in order to fly thousands of miles away from Armie.  Both times he’d been hurt and confused, but this time, he knows there won’t be any grand gesture of Armie showing up at his door and declaring to love him no matter what.  That life was never _really_ his to begin with, and now he has to accept that it won’t ever be.

 

By the time Timmy steps off the plane in Heathrow Airport nine hours later, he’s beyond exhausted.  His body aches, his mind is a huge jumble, and his heart is completely shattered.  He takes a cab to his hotel and is asleep within two minutes of entering his room.

 

He wakes in a cold sweat 12 hours later, instinctively reaching a hand across the bed to search for Armie but coming up with only a cold empty space beside him.  When he blinks his eyes open, the room is dark and he shivers from the cold night air seeping into the room.  It takes him a minute to get his bearings, but once he does, the reality of everything comes crashing back to him and he curls in on himself in a futile attempt keep from completely shattering under the weight of his emotions.

 

He’s dreading checking his phone, but eventually he forces himself to look.  He can’t decide whether he’s relieved or disappointed that there are no more missed calls or texts from Armie, just the one unheard voicemail he couldn’t bring himself to listen to earlier.  Taking a slow breath in, he brings the phone up to his ear and pushes play on the voicemail.

 

Armie’s voice fills his senses and he has to force himself not to throw the phone across the room when the anguish and worry he hears threatens to tear him apart all over again.  As it is, he can only make it through half of the two minute voicemail before he has to pause it, deciding it wasn’t helping anything to torture himself this way.

 

Instead, he spends the rest of the night reading over his script again, trying and failing to distract himself enough to forget that just a little over 24 hours ago, he was buried deep inside Armie as they celebrated their decision to spend the rest of their lives together.  He falls asleep again a few hours later, the memory of Armie’s body curled up behind him haunting him all the way into unconsciousness.

 

The next couple of weeks are a hazy blur as he tries to force himself to forget everything he experienced in the alternate world and move on with his real life.  For the first few days, that involves drinking copious amounts of alcohol, hoping that maybe one day he would drink enough to completely blackout and all his memories from that time would be gone.  But when he gets a string of worried texts from his mother and a rather harsh phone call from his sister after apparently drunk dialing her the night before, he decides maybe that isn’t the healthiest way to deal with things.

 

Getting a dose of much needed tough love from Pauline actually helps put some things into perspective, and he shifts all his focus on preparing for The King.  This role is the biggest undertaking of his professional life, and he knows he’s going to need to give it everything he has to pull it off.  At least in this life, he knows he has the opportunity to make great art, and he isn’t about to take that for granted after everything he experienced in the other world. 

 

He pours every ounce of himself into preparing for the upcoming shoot, blocking everything else out and losing himself in the world of medieval England and the political power struggles of King Henry V.  The rest of the team starts to arrive a couple weeks later, and he throws himself into the rigorous training regime, almost welcoming the extreme physical demands as a way to get himself out of his head and release some of his stress and frustration in a constructive way.

 

About a month after escaping to London, there’s another flurry of phone calls and texts from Armie.  The first time he calls, Timmy is caught off guard and almost answers it without thinking, his thumb dangerously close to hitting the green “answer” button before catches himself, staring at the phone in quiet anguish until it stops ringing, sending Armie to voicemail.  He’s finally gotten into a good routine here and managed to not think about Armie every second of the day, he isn’t sure he’s ready to open that door again quite yet.  

 

His hope that Armie’s call was a one-time thing is short-lived when he calls again 10 minutes later, and when he still can’t bring himself to answer, a series of texts come through in rapid fire, all of them containing a variation of “pick up your fucking phone.”  His heart clenches and his breath starts coming in short bursts as he tries to figure out what to do. 

 

In a fit of desperation to try and put everything behind him and move on completely, he pulls up Armie’s contact information, finger hovering over the “block” button for several long beats before he clenches his eyes shut and throws the phone across the room, hearing it skid to a halt against the far wall.  For as much as he wants to forget everything Armie means to him so he can try to move on and be happy without him, he can’t make himself take the step of completely severing ties with him just yet.

 

The phone calls and texts continue pretty steadily for the next week, each time Armie’s name pops up on his screen causing another tiny dagger to dig into his heart.  But he doesn’t know what to say to him to make any of this better for either of them, so he continues to ignore Armie’s attempts to reach out, hoping he will eventually stop torturing both of them.

 

When the calls abruptly stop after close to 10 days, he feels a sharp pang of loss that he isn’t sure how to deal with.  He’d wanted Armie to stop, wanted to stop having to feel the bitter taste of guilt every time he ignored his pleas for connection, but now that he had, he wasn’t prepared for the hollowness the silence left behind. 

 

Luckily, filming starts up in earnest a few days later, so he doesn’t have time to dwell on the fact that Armie seems to have finally given up on him for real.  They film for a few weeks in England before moving the production to Budapest for the rest of the long shoot.

 

He finds it easy to get along with his castmates, even though most of them are at least twice his age.  But they give him the support he needs and he takes the opportunity to learn as much as he can from actors he’s admired for years.  The fun comradery he has with the cast and crew makes the long, grueling scenes a little more bearable, but he always finds a way to get out of going out with the guys after they wrap for the day, preferring instead to isolate himself in his quiet hotel room to keep himself from losing focus and letting his mind wander to places he didn’t want.

 

But when there’s a loud knocking on his door one Friday night and he finds David and Joel on the other side, he’s helpless to resist when they threaten to throw him over Joel’s shoulder and drag him out if he didn’t go with them willingly.

 

They wind up at a bar a few blocks away from the hotel, and though he initially declines the shot of tequila David buys him, David insists that he try to let loose a little and have some fun.  Tired of fighting against their attempts to bond off set and feeling like he could really use a night to relax with people he knows he can trust, he grabs the shot glass from David and throws it back quickly, managing to only wince a little as the liquid burns its way down his throat.

 

Joel claps him on the back with a wide smile and then orders a round of beers for them, and they spend the next hour drinking and laughing.  Something loosens in him that he hadn’t realized had been wound so tight, and he’s reminded how nice it is to go out and have a fun time with people he isn’t tragically in love with and not want to drown himself in a vat of self-loathing.

 

A couple of girls come over to talk to them at one point, one of them clearly angling to make something happen with Timmy.  He’s polite but wholly uninterested, and after a few minutes, she thankfully takes the hint and drags her friend away down to the other side of the bar, leaving them in peace.  David gives him a curious look but doesn’t ask any questions, just makes a passing comment that it must be nice to be the object of so many beautiful people’s fantasies.  Timmy shrugs but doesn’t really answer, and Joel thankfully changes the topic in order to spare him.

 

Another hour goes by and he’s delightfully tipsy but pretty tired, so he excuses himself to head back to the hotel.  He’s grateful that neither of them try to stop him, just ask if he’s sure he can get back by himself ok, to which he assures them he can.

 

He heads out the side exit, and just as he’s rounding the corner to push the door open, he bumps his shoulder into someone in passing, accidentally knocking the drink that was in his left hand out of his loose grip and spilling it all over the floor. 

 

“Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, man.  I wasn’t watching where I was going.  Here, the next one’s on me.”  He fishes in his pocket for his wallet to give the guy some cash for a new drink, but suddenly there’s a tight grip on his arm, stilling his movements.

 

“You know, I can think of another way for you to make it up to me.  If you’re interested.”

 

Timmy lifts his head, swishing his hair out of his eyes so he can get a proper look at the guy who is apparently propositioning him.  He’s a couple inches taller than him but still lean, only slightly more built that he is.  Long, dark hair obscures half of his face and it’s too dark in the bar to make out his distinct features, but Timmy can tell that he’s objectively attractive.  But it’s his confidence that makes Timmy pause.  Watching the other man shamelessly rake his eyes over Timmy’s whole body, leaning in closer and giving him a knowing smirk makes something in his stomach flutter in a way it hasn’t in a long time.

 

It’s not that he’s necessarily looking for anything to come of this, but maybe being with someone for one night, allowing himself the pleasure of another willing body will help him forget about what it was like to be with a version of Armie he can’t have anymore.  He needs a new memory, a new feeling to hold onto so he can finally let go of what he never should have had in the first place.

 

Slipping his wallet back into place with a deliberate movement, he drops his voice low so only the two of them can hear it.  “I’m only a couple blocks away.  Let’s go.”  He pushes off from where he had been slightly leaning on the wall and purposefully strides to the exit door.  He doesn’t look back until he’s halfway though it, finding the other man only a step behind them as they tumble out onto the narrow side alley.

 

They don’t speak the entire way back to Timmy’s hotel, letting the tension sizzle in the silence between them.  As soon as the door to the hotel room is firmly shut behind them, the guy is on him, shoving his tongue in his throat and fisting a hand in his shirt.  Timmy stumbles backwards a few feet, but once he regains his balance, he screws his eyes shut and forces himself to return the kiss in kind.  It’s rougher and lacks the practiced finesse he grew used to with Armie, but he throws himself into it, determined not to let the ghost of Armie’s perfect lips ruin this night for him.

 

When the guy finally breaks away from his mouth and starts to sink to his knees, his breath stutters and he has to force himself to take a deep breath.  He goes still as his pants are unzipped and a cold hand reaches into his underwear to pull out his cock.  He’s only semi-hard, but the guy doesn’t seem to care, licking his lips hungrily before moving closer so he can get a taste.

 

But the instant the guy’s tongue connects with his dick, his entire body vibrates with the overwhelming feeling of _wrong_ , and he immediately reaches down to grip the stranger’s shoulders and push him back firmly.  “Wait, st– stop, please.”  He feels weak, hears the tremble in his voice and can’t stop the wave of self-loathing that comes over him.

 

He hears a frustrated groan waft up from below him, but to the guy’s credit, he does respect Timmy’s request and sits back on his heels, silently waiting for Timmy to say or do something else.  It’s not a surprise that when that something else is Timmy saying, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” the guy huffs and rolls his eyes.

 

“Let me guess, you recently had a bad breakup but you’re still hung up on him?”

 

Timmy sighs, raking a hand through his hair.  He’s not about to spill his guts to this complete stranger with his dick still hanging now mostly limp out of his pants, so he just goes with it.  “Yeah, something like that.”  He shrugs his apology as the guy rises to his feet, bringing his face once again to eye-level.  In the better lighting of his hotel room, he can see that his eyes are a similar shade of green to his own.

 

The guy once again looks him up and down with an appraising look.  “Should have known.  No one that pretty comes without a ton of baggage.”  Timmy isn’t sure whether to be insulted or not, but he doesn’t really have time to think about it because the guy turns on his heel and begins walking toward the front door.

 

Just before he turns the handle on the doorknob, he stops and turns back, his eyes soft and a wistful expression on his face.  “For whatever it’s worth, whoever this guy is, he’s an idiot for letting you go.  You seem like the kind of guy who’d be worth fighting for.”  And with that, he’s out the door before Timmy has a chance to respond.

 

The fact is, Timmy doesn’t even know what he would have said even if he’d had the chance.  He doesn’t even know the guy’s name, and yet he managed to cut to the heart of his insecurities and lay him out bare.  He stares blankly at the closed hotel room door for several minutes before he finally tears himself away, listlessly tucking himself back into his pants and crawling into his bed, a cold numbness taking hold of him for long minutes until he finally passes out.

 

When he opens the door the next morning, looking half-dead and feeling all-dead, David is standing there holding his jacket that he’d forgotten to grab before leaving the bar.  David takes one look at him, obviously noting his disheveled appearance and same clothes as the night before, and pushes past him into the room.  “All right kid, spill it.  What’s going on with you?”

 

He doesn’t have the energy to come up with a convincing lie, so he just breaks down and goes with the truth.  Or parts of it, anyway.  He very intentionally leaves out the entire “traveling to an alternate universe for two months then waking up back in this one where time reversed itself” bit, not wanting his director to think his leading man was completely insane.  But he confesses everything about his feelings for Armie, how he’s been in love with him for years but now that they are moving on from Call Me By Your Name, he doesn’t know how to maintain a regular friendship with him and not hurt all the time.

 

When he’s finished baring his heart and soul, David leans back in his chair, taking it all in.  After a long minute, he finally speaks.  “You know, these things are rarely ever straightforward or simple.  And sometimes they work themselves out in ways you could never have imagined in the beginning.  Things are changing constantly, sometimes without you even realizing it.  Don’t let the current state of things dictate what you make of your future.  You might miss out on something really great because you already decided you couldn’t have it.”  David gives Timmy’s knee a reassuring squeeze before getting up and making to leave him alone to mull over his advice.  “See you on set Monday.  Don’t be late.”

 

David’s words swirl around in his head for the rest of the day until his mind is nothing but a jumble of what-ifs and maybes, prompting him to open his phone and scroll to Armie’s contact information.  He stares at it for several long minutes, wondering what he could possibly say to him after so long, after so many ignored calls and texts, after he’d pushed Armie away so much that he’s not sure Armie even wants to hear from him anymore.

 

In the end, he can’t bring himself to press the button to make the call that would reconnect him with an Armie who only knows him as a friend, instead of the husband he still sees when he thinks about Armie in his moments of weakness.  There may be truth to David’s words, but he can’t handle the repercussions right now.  He still has several weeks of filming left, and he doesn’t want anything to distract him from giving his best performance.  If he and Armie are destined to be in each other’s lives still, he can figure it out later.

 

From that day on, David and Joel make it a point to be there for him a little more, taking him out for lowkey dinners or just hanging in the hotel drinking beer and watching movies.  They really become like a couple of big brothers to him, and he’s eternally grateful to have people around him that he can really trust and feel comfortable with.

 

The next several weeks go by in a blur of mud and chainmail and swords, and before he knows it, there’s only a week of filming left.  He’s just toeing his shoes off after a long day of wrestling a guy twice his size in full body armor when his phone buzzes in his pocket.  He goes and grabs a beer from the fridge before pulling it out to see who is texting him.

 

He freezes, the hand holding his beer can stopping halfway to his mouth as he looks down at his screen.  It’s a text from Armie, the first one in many weeks.  As his eyes scroll over the words, a knot forms in his stomach. 

 

< _Not that you probably even care, but the play is going really well.  I’m in town until the first week of Sept.  Not that I expect to see you or anything.  Whatever_.>

 

He reads it over and over again, trying to visualize Armie’s face as he typed out the words.  The ache he’d been working so diligently to soothe comes back with a vengeance at the mere thought that he and Armie would soon be in the same city again after so many months. 

 

He had known Armie would be in New York for his big Broadway premiere this summer, but with everything that happened in the months since the awards in Austin, he’d completely forgotten that he had told Armie he would try to see the play when he got back from filming.  It seems like a lifetime ago when he said that, and with things the way they are now, he’s not sure if it’s such a good idea anymore.

 

The last week of filming seems to drag on forever, his thoughts constantly being dragged back to his phone and the still unanswered text from Armie.  He goes back and forth a million times, even asking David for his opinion.  When all he says is, “When you’re ready to decide, you’ll know what to do,” he huffs in frustration and goes to sulk in his trailer until Joel comes to fetch him for the next scene.

 

Once filming officially wraps, they have a big wrap party where he makes a long-winded and slightly nonsensical speech about how much this experience meant to him.  He isn’t sure he could have gotten through it without the overwhelming support from the whole team, but especially David and Joel.  His last night in Budapest, they go out to celebrate and have one last hurrah.  He makes sure not to drink too much, and they all go back to the hotel together.

 

When the plane lands in New York the next afternoon, he’s instantly assaulted with the feeling of crashing back to reality after being safely tucked away in his filming bubble for months.  Walking through his apartment door feels like he’s entering a past life, one he doesn’t know how to fit into anymore after he’s lived so many other lives since the last time he’s been within these walls.

 

He’s been home for five days, walked past the theater close to a dozen times, stared up at the larger than life billboard with Armie’s enormous body stretched over the full length of it as he wrestled with his decision.  He blinks up into the early morning sun, hoping some divine sign from above will help him figure out what to do.

 

A gust of wind whips through the row of buildings, ripping the cap off his head and sending it flying several feet.  He chases after it, and after he retrieves it from the concrete sidewalk before it lands in a suspicious looking puddle a couple feet over, he straightens himself only to come face to face with Armie’s picture on the poster for Straight White Men as it hangs by the front entrance to the theater.

 

Before he can talk himself out of it, he slams the hat back on his head and marches into the theater box office, ordering a ticket for that Sunday night’s performance.  He chooses a seat in the very back row closest to the door so he hopefully won’t be seen.

 

When Sunday rolls around, he’s so anxious about seeing Armie after so long, he’s about five seconds from calling the whole thing off.  But a well-timed call from Pauline helps calm him down enough to get him out the door and to the theater.

 

He waits until the very last second to enter, making sure to stay out of view until everyone else was seated and the lights were lowered before he slipped into his seat as silently as he could.  When Armie first arrives on the stage, he forgets how to breathe.  Everything else fades away and there is only Armie, who somehow manages to look both bigger and smaller than ever as he paces the stage with such ease and confidence, he hardly seems like the same person who was constantly questioning his every acting choice just two years ago.

 

This Armie is alive like he’s never seen him before, full of boisterous energy and perfect comedic timing.  Even though his role is more supporting, Timmy can’t take his eyes off him the whole time, mesmerized by his beauty and clear natural talent for stage acting. 

 

When the cast comes out for their final curtain call, he rises to his feet with the rest of the audience in a standing ovation.  He’s so caught up in his feelings of pride for what Armie has accomplished that he forgets about trying to be discreet.  So when it’s Armie’s turn to take his bow, he lets out a whoop of excitement.  When Armie’s eyes sweep up to the back of the theater and seem to stop and connect with his own, an icy wave of panic crashes over him. 

 

But the moment is over almost quick as it happened, and then Armie is moving aside for the next actor to take his turn at the front of the stage.  Timmy’s mind whirs with a million thoughts as the rest of the cast take their bows.  Seeing Armie’s face again, hearing his voice, watching him command the stage like he was made for it, was both exhilarating and terrifying.  Having him be so close and yet just out of reach was a whole new type of torture he wasn’t prepared for.  He’s not sure he can face the possibility of actually speaking to him right now while his emotions are bouncing in a thousand different directions.

 

His fight or flight instincts kick into high gear, and while he’s sure Armie and the rest of the audience are still preoccupied, he bolts out of the theater and into the warm summer night, running as far and fast as he can until his legs start to burn.

 

When he finally stops several blocks away, he tries to catch his breath and stop himself from having a complete breakdown down in the middle of the street.  Taking several deep breaths, he finally manages to calm down enough to keep walking, wanting nothing more to go home and forget this night ever happened.  He finds a liquor store a block from the subway station and ends up buying a bottle of their most expensive whiskey to help with the process. 

 

When he gets home, he pours himself a drink, and then another, and another, trying to drown out the thoughts of Armie’s velvety smooth voice and slightly scruffy face, while memories of that face rubbing against his inner thigh assault his senses and make him feel dizzy with want.  He eventually passes out on his couch, whiskey bottle slipping from his grip and landing with a dull thud on the carpet beneath him.

 

There’s an obnoxious pounding sound coming from his door the next morning, pulling him out of his hazy sleep bubble.  He blindly reaches out, swishing his arm in all directions until he finally makes contact with his phone.  He brings it to his face and blinks one bleary eye open.  He waits a few seconds until his eyes focus enough for him to make out the time on the screen – 8:13 am.  He groans, throwing an arm over his face and attempting to go back to sleep after such a rude awakening.  But the pounding continues, becoming more incessant the longer he tries to ignore it.

 

When it’s clear whoever it is isn’t going to go away, he carefully shifts into a sitting position, his vision blurring slightly for a minute before clearing again.  Pushing up slowly, he shuffles his way over to the door, ready to tear into whoever was on the other side.

 

The absolute last thing he expects when he finally swings open the door is to find all 6’5” of one Armie Hammer standing there glaring back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to once again leave you on an evil cliffhanger, but there was NO WAY I could fit everything that happens next chapter into this one, too, so this was the most logical place to split it. Please don't hate me! I promise next chapter will go into what's been going on with Armie all these months and they will finally talk through all their shit for real. Thanks for sticking through this chapter, I know it may have been frustrating at times. But it was an important part of Timmy's journey in this story so I didn't want to completely skip over it.
> 
> Your comments mean the world to me, and I love chatting with people over on tumblr, too! Come find me at lfg1986 over there! <3

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me over on Tumblr @lfg1986. :D

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Parallel Life](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18126134) by [mrsmelchiorgabor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmelchiorgabor/pseuds/mrsmelchiorgabor)




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